The Sunshine Project Pt. 15 - Final

Chapter 43

Jess

"Shit, Allie!" I rake my hands through my hair and pace the carpet. I'm wearing a damn rut in the blue fibers because of this entire situation. For weeks it's been nothing but freaking out and panic attacks, and I'm so fucking ready for it to be over. Nothing makes sense anymore and without GG as my anchor I feel tossed at sea.

"Jess, calm down," Allie coos. She takes my hands and holds them tightly. It forces me to stop pacing and face her. "It's going to be okay. We are going to be okay. Hey... look at me."

I reluctantly meet her gaze. Her eyes are tired, puffy bags ringing them, and her hair is messy. I woke and dressed before she went up to talk to Beck, which obviously didn't go well. She came downstairs and threw her clothes on quickly without saying a word.

When I woke up in her arms it was the most amazing feeling in the world, albeit I could have done without the drool, but the person I love more than anything in life was holding me. And Beck ruined that priceless moment with hysterics and banging on the door.

"She's going to the cops."

"Yes, hun, that's why we need to stay calm and thank about this. She has a picture of Cora." Allie's hand gracefully tucks my long dark hair behind my shoulder then curls a few strands around my ear. "We won't get anything done if you're panicking."

I bite my lip and nod. She's right. Beck is probably halfway to the police station now; I only live a few blocks from it as it is. She has a picture of Cora and some sickening vendetta now. That alone probably enough for the police to come looking. They've already been here twice. I sink onto the couch and double over, hugging my arms to my chest as I rest my forehead on the coffee table. I am having a mental breakdown, and my adrenals will never function properly again.

"I need time to thi--" Allie's phone begins to chirp, interrupting her, and she walks over to her bag and pulls it out. "Shit, it's Sheila." I look up at her and notice the way her eyebrows buckle and dip in the middle. Beck just got fired, but who knows why. I wring my hands in my lap as I listen to Allie talk to her boss. She sounds defeated and her shoulders sag halfway through. "Yeah, okay, Sheila. Thanks."

When she hangs up and lays the phone on the table, she turns to me, and I see tears in her eyes.

"Oh, babe, what happened?" I stand but feel lightheaded. I need to see a doctor this week because even though I'm only twenty-three I feel like I'm having high blood pressure. At the very least, I need an antidepressant. I'm not handling anything well right now.

Allie shuffles over to me and wraps her arms around me. "I'm suspended. I guess they saw me kissing Beck on work property, and it's not allowed. This is awful. How will I pay rent."

I pull her against my chest and smooth my hands up and down her back, ignoring the pang of jealousy I feel in my chest. God, when it rains it fucking pours, and now I feel like we need to get out of here, maybe take a vacation. GG's death triggered some really fucked up things in my life, and now it's trickling over to Allie's life too. She doesn't deserve any of this.

"Hey, don't worry about it. You're going to move in with me at the barn. Alright? You don't have to work if you don't want to. I make more than enough to pay the utilities and taxes there and even buy groceries." I hold her away from my body and remind her of the more pressing situation at hand. It's not that I don't care about her job; I just don't want to go to jail. And I don't want any of us to be a pin cushion for the feds. "We have to do something. Beck is going to the police."

"Right..." She sucks in a deep breath and nods. "Get the gun and come with me." Allie hurries to the steps, and I look around the room. She dropped the gun when she rushed for the door. It lays beneath the coffee table, so I grab it and follow her. The only thing we can do--good thinking Allie.

Upstairs, I hold the gun carefully as I open the door and see Allie sitting on the bed with Cora next to her. They're talking softly, so I don't interrupt them.

"It's the only way. She's going to the police, Cora. We need you go be normal size and leave. You have to drive your car away from here." Allie reaches for the gun, and I hand it to her, chewing the inside of my cheek. I've done that so much there is a raw spot that hurts really badly, but I chew it anyway. Feeling physical pain numbs the emotional shit I'm weighed down by.

"Please, I can't. I have nowhere to go." Cora's eyes are filled with tears. I feel her pain. She belongs here now, with us. I'd never go back to my family if they were like Dean and Glenda. As it is, I won't ever go back to my mother either. Any person who can treat their child the way she treated me doesn't deserve reconciliation.

I drop to my knees next to the bed and rest my hand next to Cora's small body. "Cora, I know you are hurting. I know you're afraid too, that you won't have anyone. I promise you, nothing between us changes. You're still my annoying cousin who gets on my nerves, but now we're friends too. You are welcome to live in the bunker with me and Allie. There are enough bedrooms for us, and I can pay all the bills. We'll make it work. I just need you to go to Dean and Glenda."

"Jess, you don't understand..." she mumbles, but as she does, recognition dawns on her face. I am the only one who could possibly understand.

"Please, Cora." I touch her thigh, and she grabs my finger. I watch her slowly change her mind. Her posture wilts; her head drops, and then she nods.

"Good, take off the doll clothes." Allie points the gun at her. "Jess, get her something to wear."

I shoot to my feet and head straight to my closet where I stashed her outfit. Cora probably has some trauma to work through; maybe she'll need a counselor like me, but we'll do it together now. We've been through too much now to ever go back to the way it was. Cora is family, even if we're not blood.

The green flash behind me lights up the closet as I turn with her things in hand. I've laundered them and had them ready to go for whenever we ended up doing this. Cora resisted for so long because she isn't ready, and this is a huge sacrifice for her. Going back into that den of thieves and lions will be scary, but my freedom depends on it.

I lay the clothes at the foot of the bed as I watch her body contort and grow. It's grotesque and disturbing, but I can't pull my eyes away. This experimental shit is scary, and I can't see how Allie is so aroused by it because I could live the rest of my life without ever seeing it again. Except maybe the freeze ray... I'd consider doing that again.

"Okay, Cora, get dressed." Allie is rushing her and for good reason. There isn't a second to spare. If Beck shows that picture to the cops, they'll be here in less than thirty minutes. "Jess, get her keys... and Shep."

"Shep?" I shake my head. "No... Shep stays with me." My gut churns at the thought of Cora taking him. As much we've learned to care about each other, I don't trust her with my dog. GG gave him to me.

Allie drops the gun on the bed and shakes me by my shoulders. "Snap out of it, Jess. Shep is as small as a fucking chihuahua but he is a grown German shepherd. If the cops see that, they're going to know something is fucked up. Cora has to take him." She spins on her heel and points at the gun. "Take that and the dog, and go to the bunker."

Cora is dressing slowly, and now I'm starting to panic. There is too much evidence. The doll clothes I have everywhere, the K-cups with human shit in them. Fuck, this is so messed up. I feel dizzy again, and I lean against the wall and try to breathe deeply, which only makes my dizziness worse.

"Jess, please snap out of it. I don't want to go to fucking prison." Allie grabs my hand and leads me to the stairs. I cling to the railing as we descend, and Cora follows us carrying the gun.

"Can't we just shoot the dog?" She has no clue how these things work because she wasn't here when we experimented with them. She also never asked us either.

"It's not that easy. Okay, it won't work. Just take it and Shep and get the fuck out of here. Go to the barn. We'll meet you there when it's safe. Put all the guns in the lab and shut that door. Put a box or something in front of it. If they search this place, chances are they'll search the bunker. They can't find the lab. Alright?"

Allie ushers me to the sofa, and I park my ass there without a single desire to ever move again. I lie down and curl into a ball. I'm glad she's taking charge because I feel like crying. I listen to Cora and Allie bickering for a moment; then the sound of the garage door opening meets my ear. I hear Cora's car fire up and Shep whimpering, and then she's gone.

"Hey..." Allie says, crouching in front of me. Her lips press against my forehead. She's warm and I feel cold. I'm shivering, and I don't know why. I'm also sweating. My palms are moist. My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. "Jess, I'm sorry for being bossy. Everything is going to be okay."

I clamp my eyes shut and just focus on breathing. My belly rolls and tightens. It's another panic attack. We shrank a woman who is now going to the police to turn us in, and there is nothing we can do but sit in agonizing terror and wait for them to show up at our doorstep. What the fuck have we done? How did I get myself and my best friend into this mess?

"I just wanted you to comfort me..." The night of GG's will reading started all of this. Allie came over to be my friend and it changed everything in so many ways--good and bad.

"I love you, Jess. I'm not leaving you to deal with this on your own, okay? I'm here." Her lips are on my forehead again, fingers smoothing my hair. I let a few tears escape, and she kisses them away; then she kisses me.

"I love you too, Allie." I grab her hand and press it to my cheek and look up into her eyes. I never thought I'd ever say those words to my best friend in the way I mean them now. "I do."

"I know you do, sweet girl. I--" Someone pounds on the door and interrupts her.

My blood runs cold. Allie's eyes go wide. I push myself up to a dizzying seated position as she stands and walks toward the door. I watch her shoulders rise and fall slowly, then her hand reaches for the knob. When she opens it, a burst of adrenaline zings through my chest causing a sharp pinching sensation. It's the cops.

"Ms. Maier, I am Deputy Fischer. I am here to execute a search warrant on this property for a missing woman by the name of Cora Knapke, and for any illegal weapons." He steps into the threshold and holds out a slip of paper. Allie takes it and opens it, but she says nothing as he walks past. Another officer, this one a woman with short dark hair pulled into a tight ponytail, follows him. Allie goes white as a ghost.

I can only watch. I say nothing as they move around my home. I feel violated as they open cupboards and closets. They turn out chair and sofa cushions, forcing me to get up. I cling to Allie near the bottom of the stairs as the woman walks past us and up to my bedroom.

"Call the lawyer... Call Ben..." I mumble. It's the only words I can come up with. I stand paralyzed, watching in horror as the cop opens the coat closet where we kept the guns for so long. If Cora hadn't taken the shrink ray, we'd be so fucked.

"Have you seen Ms. Knapke?" he asks, and Allie darts off to talk to him. I hear her mumbling, then hear footsteps upstairs and some thumping. I think of Cora's doll clothes and the makeshift bed we made her. There is no way they will ever directly connect that to her, but that doesn't stop me from panicking.

Allie's phone lays on the table next to her bag so I pick it up and dial Ben King's number. He answers on the first ring.

"King and Cline, Attorneys at law."

"Ben, it's Jess Maier. Gus's granddaughter."

"Oh, yeah. Jess, I was going to call you later this week. I have some good news."

"Ben, please. I need help. The police are searching my house. They said I kidnapped Cora." My hand trembles. I may throw up any second. The cop is looking through our trash and asking Allie about the K-cups. Fuck...

"Have you seen her?" Ben sounds diplomatic, just the way a lawyer should be.

"Of course, we're cousins. She is on her way to her parents' house now. She told me." It's a lie, but not totally. He can't know about the shrink ray, or maybe he does. He was GG's lawyer first and those guns were GG's.

"Is the bunker secure?" His comment makes a sense of serenity wash over me. He knows, and he's going to help us. "Jess... the bunker?"

"Yes, Cora said she'd take care of it for us." I hold my breath, hoping the police didn't hear me say her name.

"And the guns?"

I take a deep calming breath. He knows... He's going to help... "Yes, in the lab."

"Okay, well you're safe then. Do nothing. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

I sigh and stop chewing my lip. The heaviness on my chest is dissipating, and I don't feel as dizzy.

"Oh, and Jess?"

"Yeah."

"This thing with Dean... I'm taking care of that too. Turns out he's done it to more than half of his clients. It's extortion, and it won't stand. Alright... so breathe deep, and I'll be there soon."

I hang up the phone and lean against the wall. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you, GG, for sending me Ben King.

Chapter 44

Cora

This damn car is so fucked. I don't want it, but I'm not about to let Dean and Glenda have it. It's mine. Jess gave it to me and now I understand her a little better. I know Gus would never want my parents to have it. It needs so much work done, but it'll be mine until it's dead. Maybe someday I'll sell it to the right buyer and turn a profit on it. Until then I am driving it, and maybe fixing a few things to make it a bit safer--like new brakes.

The old squat barn looks deserted. The grass is growing up tall again. Jackson is out in the pasture grazing where he normally is when I come by here. But the house is gone. Gus's entire life was in there, and my parents demolished it for gain, only, they're not getting that gain. Jess will never come up off this land, and now I understand why. Gus was all she had, and they loved each other. I feel awful for ever judging her on that, because I wasn't the type to sit and listen to his war stories and watch baseball with him. She was.

I take the gun and climb out of the old T-bird. Last time we were here we left the key on a hook in the tack room next to the harnesses and bridles. Jess thought it would be better that way in case one of us got in trouble. Though, I was tiny then, and I'd have no way of ever getting out here let alone getting that massive metal door open. But things change.

I changed.

Life isn't the same, and it never will be. Living in a manner that left me completely dependent on another human was degrading at first, then challenging. Then I found myself angry and stewing over life, but I yielded to that helplessness and leaned into it. Now, I realize how comforting it is to have someone to depend on. I never could do that with Dean and Glenda. Not only were they not there for me, but they never cared either.

The old metal door sticks shut as I try to open it. Jess and Allie covered it with bedding too, so well, in fact, that I have to really search for the lock. If they're going to keep letting Jackson sleep in this stall, they'll have to figure out a foolproof way to get out of the bunker when he's sleeping at night. Otherwise they'd be trapped down there. And they'll need security cameras too. When I pulled up I saw an old black sedan parked cattycorner to the lot on the old farm parcel. The man was watching with binoculars. Thankfully he can't see the barn due to the wooded area, and he can't see me because I shut the barn door behind me.

The lights are off when I reach the landing at the bottom of the stairs. Jess is a nut when it comes to conserving electricity. I flip the switch and the ventilation spools up, the whirring sound something I'd have to get used to if I decide to live here. I think I may call Danny and apologize to him. He and I had something special. Maybe if he sees how hard I'm trying to change he'll take me back, and I can move into his dorm.

I won't waste any time here. I know I have to show my face to Dean and Glenda to get Jess out of hot water, but I don't dare do that with this gun in my hand. If they search the car, they'll see it and know that picture Beck took of me is real. I tried to dodge beneath the bed, but she got it. I know she did.

I walk straight to the bedroom and toward the closet. I'll stash the gun and then lock up and go home. But as I see my reflection in the mirror I see a tired, angry, hurting girl who just wants to feel loved. I stop and stare at my puffy eyes and messy hair. I haven't had a manicure in weeks; haven't gotten a trim or dyed my roots. I've put on a few pounds, probably because Jess has no clue what a good portion size is for a woman a fourth her normal size. My friends from the cheer squad would say I've gained my freshman fifteen which I swore I wouldn't.

I don't want to go back to this life, where my parents control me and I have no one to turn to. Jess and Allie are my family, as much as I dislike Allie even to this day. I want to be with them, but the only way I would ever feel comfortable with them is to be shrunken. Jess hated me when I was normal. She defended me when I was shrunken. The idea of returning to that house with Dean and Glenda makes my stomach roil.

I raise the gun, pointing it at the mirror. I'm so depressed, so unmotivated in life. I have no one to go back to, except if Danny forgives me which is a long shot. I have no true friends, just people who hung out with me because I was wealthy, and now I don't even have money. I have no plans for my future, no way to support myself. Only Allie and Jess, and only this gun.

I pull the trigger, clamping my eyes shut because I know how bright the damn green flash is. Then I wait. But there's no flash, no brightness, no zap of energy. I open my eyes and look at the gun. It's not even lit up. I point it at the mirror again and pull the trigger but nothing happens, and I feel frustrated. I smack it, pounding the heel of my hand against the glass that's supposed to light up.

"Work dammit!" I scream, feeling angry and afraid. If this doesn't work, I have to go back to Dean and Glenda. I can't. I don't want to. I want to be small again, to feel the comfort I felt when Jess sat and listened to me. We connected; we were close. I want to feel that the rest of my life, even if it means I never have a boyfriend or date or get married. I point and shoot again but still nothing, so I get angry. I throw the gun on the bed and storm out, ready to leave and forget the world.

But as I pass through the living room, I see the picture on the shelf. It's Gus and Jess, smiling, standing next to Jackson. I slow my steps and stare at the picture. Then I stop. I can't just leave her vulnerable. I have to hide the gun in the lab and put a box in front of the door in case the police learn about this place and have to do a search. Goddammit, why did I have grow a fucking conscience now?

Frustrated, I turn and head back into the bedroom. I take the gun and slip behind the row of old suits belonging to Gus and open the door to the lab below. It's cooler in here, and as I descend the stairs it gets colder still. I see the box of guns on the desk in the middle of the room and head there. This place must have been sacred to Gus, his inner sanctum of secret experiments. I bet he loved it; it probably made him feel useful right up until his death. Old people need something like this to keep them invested in life and stop them from getting depressed.