All Comments on 'The Surprise Factor Ch. 02'

Only those who have experienced it can understand what it's like to enter you mother for the first time.

So realistic and wonderfully set up. This could go on forever.

Please continue with Adam’s girlfriend Carla understands.

It was ok, the typos and switching back and forth from British and American English was distracting.

i would guess English isn't your first language because the gramma is bad, as suggested you should write another part bringin his GF into things

Your story is so difficult to follow, you should have some one who has English as a first language to proof read before submitting.

Your story is off the rails right now - there doesn't seem to be any real feelings between the characters other than sex. Incest typically comes from love that crosses a line and your story is missing that...3-4*

Clearly English is not your mother tongue and that's okay however you need an editor. Your story is difficult to follow and I had to stop reading. It's a Shane because there seems to be great potential but reading became a chore and was no longer an enjoyment.