All Comments on 'The Surprised Attraction Ch. 04'

So suckin g fucking hot. Would love to be fucking and sucking these sisters and getting it on with the parents too. More and more please and soon. Pussy lapping sex maniac Lanc's UK

But Leah has been teased with a taste and wants more

Keep on writing. Great stuff. Can't wait for the next chapter

The slow burn is starting to come to a boil. As one reader posted "Leah has a taste and wants more." It was surprising to see some of the character dynamics shift. In my mind, from your previous stories I had the characters pictured as thus:

Leah - Sexual Aggressor

Sam - The Lynchpin connecting two otherwise unlikely partners

Kelly - The Innocent (In a sense)

This chapter broke that mold a little bit and the sexual tryst felt like it fell into place a bit too easily. But that could be justified as the large amounts of alcohol. In later chapters it would be good to see Kelly going back to her slightly reluctant, but ultimately submissive, role from the first two chapters. It would be very fitting for Leah to now be the one pushing for the forbidden sex with her sister while Kelly remains reluctant (Thus reminding the reader it's forbidden and keeps the spark alive) Sam, being the connector/lynchpin would ultimately convince Kelly to give into her sisters advances. (Again, I think given the subject matter it's important that Kelly never becomes 100% comfortable/okay with the situation in order to keep the taboo element present.)

But those were my thoughts based on your earlier chapters. Your use of dialogue is great, it keeps the story present and engaging while the slow build and characterization makes the players of the story feel relatable and engaging, which is just as important for a smut story as it is any other. Keep up the good work!

You hit the spot on the characterization. This chapter I wanted to show the other side and more of what Kelly is like on alcohol. The drunkenness that happened here was for a reason and should reflect in later chapters, seeing as Sam might use that *wink wink*. Overall thanks for the comment, it helped keep me on track.

I love the story and the writing is good but there is a certain lack of realism in twin beds in a hotel room and especially in such a high class hotel.