All Comments on 'The Swingers' Daughter Ch. 02'

ease to be read well, and, of course, breathtakingly beautiful and arousing, while showing, only in brief traits, some of the feeling. This could be extended to my view. Thank you for sharing!!

sex scenes need some work - they're a little too "cinical". need more eroticism.

Hot enough action, but tends to read a bit like a not quite fully fleshed storyboard / plot outline.

There's still lots of juice to be wrung from this lemon, I think - particularly by changing POV and adding inner dialog of the main characters.

cb1251... The POV was a problem. It started as my daughter then got restrictive. Actually, the story began with "Sex in the Dark Room" and took on another POV because of all the criticism about being in the wrong category.

But ... you are right on. I needed a different POV to describe the more erotic action. Maybe 3rd Person?

Dad was a very lucky man. Getting all that prime young pussy, damn