The Swingers Pride Parade

The Swingers Pride Parade

Why not? Why not now!

By Morris40

My wife and I retired recently. We had worked hard and planned well so we had the means to retire when we were still able to enjoy what we wanted to do whenever we wanted to do it. And yet, we have a lot to lose if our friends and relatives find out about one of our favorite activities.

The companies that hold our investments don't care what we do when we go up to our cabin with another swinging couple or drive down to the city for a house party with a larger circle of friends and always a few newcomers. What we do is legal. But what we share with one set of friends would be scandalous to our relatives and to most of those in our community, including many of our best friends.

If my wife and I were to divorce, we would still have the sympathy and support of our own families and many of our mutual friends. Even if I told my family and friends that I had always been a closeted gay and was moving in with my male lover after the divorce, most of them would still want me to be a part of their lives -- after they got over the initial shock. LGBT has become more accepted now than when my wife and I were first married. I'd expect my sanctimonious great aunt to never speak to me again. That would be OK. I never liked her anyway. More important to me is that almost all of my close friends and some of my relatives would probably join me if I marched in next year's LGBT Pride Parade with my new partner.

None of this is relevant to the question that my wife just asked me before I decided to write this essay.

"Have you ever thought of organizing a Swingers Pride Parade? I'm getting tired of hiding a part of our lives from friends who aren't swingers."

We had just made love in our bedroom and were lying naked in the afterglow of sex. My wife laid her head on my shoulder and snuggled close. I don't think she really expected an answer so I didn't really give her one.

"I don't know, dear. I really don't know how they'd take it."

"Who would take it?

"Everyone. Friends, family, our neighbors ... our community."

And I was telling her the truth.

.........

First vignette

The last rays of the sun were flickering on the lake that stretched out from the porch of our cabin. The chill of a gentle evening breeze was beginning to replace the warmth of the autumn sun. I might have been cool if it weren't for the heat of Elaine's naked body leaning back on me as we rocked together in the swing.

She shivered. I wrapped my arms around her.

"Babe, are you getting a little cold?"

"Morris." She paused for dramatic effect. "You should know me by now. I'm one hot piece of ass."

I laughed. Elaine was like that. She always had a way of turning the simplest of conversations back to sex in its most primal form. Alicia, my wife, was more demure. She only uttered 'dirty words' in the throes of an orgasm.

As if on cue, we both heard moaning intensify from deep within the cabin. Finally, my wife's voice pierced the calm of the evening.

"Oh Fuck. Fuck me Charles. Oh God. Oh God. Harder..." Each cry running into the next with greater urgency until at last there was only the continuous stream of grunts from Charles and the urgent guttural pleadings from my dear wife."

Elaine and I listened bemused until the racket quieted to a low murmur. Elaine shifted on the swing so that she could fondle my limp cock and look straight into my eyes. A glob of my cum oozed from her pussy and ran down my thigh as she shifted her position.

"You have to introduce me to that stud. It sounds like he knows how to make a woman happy."

"That stud is your husband and I didn't hear you complaining about me earlier."

"Oh, I wasn't complaining. You have a way with your tongue. I wish you could teach that to my husband. But I suppose there's really no need as long as we've got you and your wife, now is there?"

Elaine had her tongue in my mouth and almost had my cock in her pussy (again) when I heard a loud huummph nearby.

We both looked up to see Alicia standing there with a tray of coffee and her best imitation of righteous indignation, as if she had caught her best friend cheating with her husband. My wife was only mediocre as an actress. The laughter in her eyes gave away her pleasure in catching us in flagrante delicto. Her mock frown quickly turned into a smile.

"Morris, I thought we might switch spouses again and spend a little time snuggling before dinner."

"Sounds like a great idea," Elaine agreed. She shifted over on the porch swing to make room for Alicia.

Charles arrived soon after with bathrobes to keep us comfortable as the chill set in with the deepening twilight.

It was a good start to another wonderful weekend with our favorite swinging friends.

Thoughts on the experience of multiple sexual partners (including extramarital sex).

Both men and women enjoy having sex. Apparently, they enjoy it a lot. And there is data to back up what should be obvious to most of us from our own experience.

The first question to ask of the data is "are men and women naturally monogamous?" The simple answer is an unequivocal 'no'. Most men and most women have had more than one sexual partner. That's usually one sexual partner then another and then another. We'll talk about multiple simultaneous sexual partners later.

The most reliable data for the United States that I have found came from a large federal government study conducted by CDC (Center for Disease Control) some years ago. The CDC was interested in sexual activity to assess the risks of sexually transmitted diseases, but the data serves our current purposes.

Now let's get to the issue of sexual experience. To put it more bluntly, how many sexual partners is normal -- or at least typical. Using the CDC data, the majority of men (58.4% to be precise) had more than 7 sexual partners by age 40 while only 8.9% had only one sexual partner. So, the data suggests that having the experience of sex with several different women is normal for men while a lifetime of monogamy is actually relatively unusual.

The same is true for women although societal constraints on women concerning sexual behavior are greater than for men. Still, the CDC data found that more women (30.3% to be exact) had 7 or more sexual partners while only 20.4% were stuck on the first one.

The data from studies in the United States are not unique. A large British study of about the same time and size was roughly similar. In a representative sample of 11,161 British adults, 41.4% of men and 22.7% of women from 25-34 y/o had 10 or more partners. With increasing freedom for women in many countries, the difference in the median number of sexual partners between men and women has been narrowing.

The reality of sexual experience is that the majority of men and women approach marriage having enjoyed sex with a number of partners, each of whom brought something different to flirting, foreplay and coitus. For most men and women, sex is enjoyable and has been enjoyed before marriage with someone who was just a friend. That is, most people have enjoyed sex just because sex is fun.

So, if most men and women enjoy sex and have experienced the variety of body types and sexual styles that keep sex exciting, why does marriage have to be monogamous? Happily married couples have friends with whom they spend time around shared interests whether that is community theater, the local sports team or just knocking back a beer at the local brewhouse. So why not friends 'with benefits' who share a mutual interest in sex and believe that sex can 'just be fun'.

Although there has been increasing interest in consensual extramarital sex based on tracking of internet searches and books/articles published on polyamory and swinging, there is really no good data on the percentage of American couples who swing. Most estimates place the number anywhere from 2-6%. Unfortunately, the methodology of even the best studies is weak. The prevalence of consensual extramarital sex in all of its different forms is anyone's guess, but it is almost certainly not that rare. If you have ever been in a gathering of more than a hundred couples (think of a shopping mall, a stadium or an airport), you have been in the company of at least a few swingers.

While attitudes about LGBT lifestyles have changed dramatically within a generation, the attitudes toward extramarital sex have not. There are now openly gay and lesbian entertainers, athletes and even a popular male presidential candidate in the United States who is in a legal marriage with another man. There are few if any open swinging couples in public life. And there is good reason for that.

Of the 1,155 randomly selected people in the United States who completed 2018 GSS (General Social Survey), 76% of respondents answered that it is "always wrong" for a married person to have sexual relations with someone other than his or her spouse while only 9.5% answered that it is "wrong only sometimes" or is "not wrong at all."

That extramarital sex is highly condemned by society does not mean that it does not occur. It just makes it more difficult to have that conversation with your spouse. And, if you think you cannot risk a conversation about extra-marital sex with your spouse, then infidelity becomes more likely than the consensual extra-marital sex -- that is, swinging or polyamory.

The data is clear that most men and women who marry have had multiple sexual partners when they were single. And the transition for married couples from a lifestyle with multiple sexual partners to a lifetime of just one partner can be difficult despite all of the social pressures on married couples to remain monogamous.

This shows up in other data. The lifetime prevalence of extramarital sex in the GSS data found that about 21% of men and 13% of women reported infidelity at some point. Not surprisingly, the percentage is higher in couples who are older since they are more likely to have been locked into the frustrations of marital monogamy for longer.

Another recent survey asked couples who had not had extramarital sex whether they had fantasized about it. In this survey nearly half of all married men and women were willing to admit that they had either had extramarital sex or had fantasized about it.

Many swingers in my experience are looking for friendship as well as for sex. This may also be true of the husbands and wives who have an extramarital affair. Yet another study found that just over half (53.5%) of those reporting extramarital sex had the relationship with someone that they knew well while another third (about 29.4%) were with acquaintances like a neighbor or a co-worker.

What is my point in presenting all of this data? It is at least as much to convince myself that humans, both male and female, are not naturally monogamous even if they take marriage vows of 'chastity and obedience'. The results of this mismatch between our natural sexual desires and the societal expectation of monogamy in marriage are either arrangements that are hidden from friends and family or suppressed desires that are only partially relieved by masturbation fantasies.

What my wife and I have learned through our experience as swingers is that monogamy is not essential to a happy marriage and may actually be a barrier to a full and loving relationship between spouses.

More on this to follow in the next vignette.

Second Vignette

Most of the few single men who came to the Live Oaks Lifestyle Campground were 'studs' -- or, at least, considered themselves to be.

Jonathan was certainly not a stud. Balding with glasses and a paunch, he looked like the senior geology professor that he was. He had been a devoted husband who had lovingly cared for his wife during her long and eventually unsuccessful fight with cancer. He wasn't yet interested in dating and certainly wasn't ready to remarry. He had read about the "Lifestyle", as swingers sometimes call it, and he thought that a swinger's event just might satisfy a primal need, even if he only expected to watch.

That he was shy was an understatement. He blushed when informed that he couldn't wear a swimsuit in the community pool. Our swingers' campground is 'clothing optional'. Still, certain informal customs are the rule. Women are expected to wear outrageously seductive attire to the evening events and everyone is naked in the pool.

Too much fuss is made about physical appearance. Physical attraction would come later when both Jonathan and Alicia were naked. My wife was initially attracted to Jonathan's shyness. She had been shy herself on our first visit to a swinger's event. She flashed her breasts once on that first occasion but it was as much of a wardrobe accident as a lowering of her inhibitions. It wasn't until we had formed friendships with other couples and swapped with them in the privacy of their homes that she finally felt comfortable being naked among swingers at our campground's pool. And it was a full year before she had sex in a crowded room with a man she had just met.

It was fortunate that Alicia was nearby during the swimsuit incident at the pool. Jonathan had been visibly embarrassed. His blush was almost as red as what little hair he had left. He might have even fled the campground right then if Alicia hadn't invited him back to our caravan for lunch with us.

Lunch was a leisurely affair. We answered his questions, confirming what he had read and seeming to lessen his awkwardness. By the time he headed back to his cabin, he was no longer hiding his interest in Alicia's bare breasts. Alicia took every opportunity to make her breasts giggle for him and once even leaned into him so close that her nipples brushed his shoulder. I did my best to appear nonchalant which gave Jonathan the permission he craved. What he really wanted would have to come later.

When we picked up Jonathan for the community dance later that evening, Alicia was dressed for seduction. Her tight skirt barely covered her bare pubes and her lace top left nothing to the imagination. Jonathan was not a 'sure thing' so Alicia was leaving nothing to chance.

We sat out the first set watching the other swingers on the dance floor. With so much bare and barely concealed flesh on display, it was not long before Jonathan's erection was tenting his pants. Alicia leaned into him and whispered in his ear. Jonathan looked over at me anxiously. I shrugged and motioned for him to take Alicia out on the dance floor.

I thought Jonathan was going to try to waltz with Alicia by the way he took her right hand in his and chastely rested his other hand gently on her hip. Alicia would have none of it. She took both of his hands and pulled them to her breasts. He was gob smacked for a few very long seconds before he instinctively pulled her into him for an open mouth kiss. She had him hooked.

Jolene slid up next to me as I watched my wife work her seductive magic on our new friend.

"She's good, isn't she?" Jolene placed my hand on her bare thigh to draw my attention to her. "Your wife. She's really good. He looked so out of place this afternoon. I thought he was going to bolt the place. And now look at him. She's got him eating out of her hand. I wonder how long it will take to get him to eat out of her pussy?" Jolene laughed at her own joke.

I chuckled. It was true. My wife had come to enjoy employing her seductive gifts on new partners and I had always enjoyed watching her.

It was only a matter of time before one of the couples crossed the blurry line from erotic dancing to brazen sex. It wasn't actually a couple. Her husband held her arms to keep her from falling forward, while Jason, one of our resident studs, slid into her from behind and began to hump vigorously. She was enjoying both the cock in her pussy and the attention of an audience as we all turned to watch.

Jonathan froze but couldn't take his eyes off the randy threesome. Alicia took advantage of the moment to hook her thumbs into the waist of Jonathan's pants and pull them down to his ankles. With Alicia on her knees and Jonathan's stiff cock in her face, the next move was inevitable. Jonathan's cock disappeared in Alicia's mouth. Jonathan held her head in his hands to keep from swooning.

My view of Alicia going down on Jonathan was obscured for a moment by Jolene's bare back as her smooth thighs straddled me. Then she slowly slid down until my pole was firmly sheathed in her pussy. When I could finally see again over Jolene's shoulder, both Alicia and Jonathan were naked and Alicia was walking toward us pulling Jonathan by his erect cock behind her.

Alicia and Jonathan just stood there for a long minute watching Jolene rock back and forth on my cock. I don't know what Jonathan was thinking at that moment but I would have bet more than I owned on the premise that he had never seen a wife kiss the woman who was being fucked by her husband. And the kiss was not just a friendly peck on the cheek. Alicia and Jolene were in a full open mouth wet kiss with plenty of tongue.

Precum was dripping from the tip of Jonathan's cock when Alicia and Jolene finally broke away from their kiss. Jolene stood up and moved behind Jonathan as Alicia turned her attention to me. As my wife bent down to take my glistening cock in her mouth, she presented her pussy as a tantalizing invitation for Jonathan. Even when she twerked her butt for him, he failed to get the hint. He really was new to swinging etiquette. Jolene provided the necessary initiative as she took his cock in hand, lined it up with Alicia's pussy and firmly pushed him forward.

My wife is shaped something like a pear with small breasts and a big round butt. I love that about her. I especially find her attractive when she was being fucked. Nothing is more exciting to me than seeing a stiff shaft shiny with her juices being rammed into her pussy. And Jonathan was definitely ramming his cock into her at that moment. Jolene was helping by cradling his balls in one hand and pushing him into Alicia with the other.

Alicia had given up trying to suck my cock. She was being fucked too hard to do anything but hold onto me and moan with each thrust. They came almost simultaneously. Jonathan with a deep grunt and Alicia with a piercing cry. I held my trembling wife as she collapsed in my arms. Jolene pressed her breasts into Jonathan's back as his slowly deflating cock dribbled cum through her fingers.

We would see Jonathan and Jolene again the next day. They lay nakedly entwined together on a lounger by the pool enjoying the warmth of the sun. Jonathan smiled and mouthed a silent 'thanks' as we passed.

Thoughts on watching and being watched (plus a little note on the unique joys of group sex)

Why do I enjoy watching my wife have sex with another man ... or woman? Why does my wife enjoy watching me?

The answer to this question requires a bit of a diversion from the topic of swinging.

My wife plays the guitar and composes her own songs. She is not a professional (except for the rare gig), but her talent is well recognized in our community. She is often invited to play when our friends get together. Occasionally she will sing an emotionally intimate duet with another man.

Am I jealous of the man on stage leaning into the microphone with her? Am I jealous of the attention she gets when the audience applauds for her? Of course not! I am proud of her. Not everything she thinks or feels or does has to be about me or our marriage. What she does on her own brings back a freshness and energy to our relationship that only interaction with others can give her.

So what about sex?

Watching her seduce (or be seduced) and then have sex with another man is quite similar to the feeling that I get when I watch her perform her music for an appreciative audience. I often don't recognize her talents until she displays them for others. We have grown old together without losing our attraction to each other. Watching her bring a man to full erection and cum all over her breasts confirms for me that she is still the free-spirited woman that I met at university. I am proud of her. My wife has many talents. That she continues to find joy in various activities -- which includes both music and sex - makes me happy because I love her. What makes her happy makes me happy. And she loves me at least in part because I give her the freedom to pursue what makes her happy.