All Comments on 'The Tackle'

This was a great read. I loved the emotion between the two. Only wished the smut scene was longer and a bit more descriptive but bravo.

Loved every minute you shouldn't care what people have to say because everybody's a critic now in day but I loved it well writte.

You saved the best for last.

Yes, a story that is right on target. A sister who wants her brother exclusively and now they have done it. Hot, erotic and cannot wait for the next chapter. Hopefully, she will bang her brother into next year and will enjoy teaching him. Now Jamie needs to tell him and show him how strong her sexual desires are. She wants big brother to bang her hard and often. Some added details will enhance a nice arousing story. Thank you.

In all the years, I've never left a comment. This was very well written. Thanks for it.

I've read lots of stories on this site, and I want to say this was one of the best yet.

Another chapter probably is all that is needed to complete the story - one that allows the brother to explain how he likes to be touched and possibly keep me and others from wondering if Tiny gets pregnant.

Until your next chapter . . .

Awesome!

Everything's a little too perfect in this story. Sister turns out to be a smoke show virgin in love with her brother. Best friend also has had incest with his knockout sister. Come on.

On the plus side. It's well written with a bare amount of typos. Well paced. I like the structure. Characters are likable.

I would just make it a bit more realistic. Let's see some involvement from their parents. What are they noticing? Surely something. Jaime's friends? What do they discover/ask her/get from her? What will the brother's friends and jilted lovers find out?

I really enjoyed reading this story as it is well written. And I especially enjoyed the awakening he had from his discussion with Irwin. A further chapter of their life after she graduated would be welcomed.

Loved it from start to finish and I wouldn't mind a chapter or two more on their life in college together and after in real world somewhere no-one knows who they are.

Gave it a 5!

An enjoyable read, thank you for sharing.

True love between two devoted and loving people.

I hope you will add a follow up story.

We need to hear how they grow into a couple.

Will the parents have any conflict.

wow great story about time the girl is a virgin. so often the guy is and seems to be inept. I would like more of this one. I see so many ways this could play out moving , kids , jobs.

A well-written and very readable story. it was not only sexually stimulating, it was also a tender and sensitive love story.

Well done!

I look forward to seeing more of your work.

I honestly think that Irwin's story would have been a better main story than Jamie's story, no hate to Jamie's story though, still gave it a five but Irwin's story really suprised me as much as it suprised the main character of this story, i really liked it, you should do like an alt story.

Wow. Thank you for writing and sharing this. Your dialogue and phrasing is natural and keeps the story moving. Your story telling skill is enviable.

For me, like a the spices in well-prepared meal, everything was 'just enough' - nothing overdone or out of proportion. The story, the emotion, the tension and resolution were nicely balanced. The telling was done when it was done and got there deftly.

The Irving sub-story surprised me though. Although I initially, I agreed with some of the other comments, now I think it is just right. That is the subject of another yarn, not so much the continuation of this one. I am now off to read your other works. Thanks!

My only pet peeve it the constant calling each other brother or sister. Drive me nuts. VERY emotional story. Well done in character development and story line. Very impressed here. As with the others dearly love a 2d chapter.

3 stars

DragonRider55

I only comment here for two reasons: 1. To offer advice and encouragement. 2. To offer my praise and true reaction.

The Tackle is an excellent, well-written story with a few minor typos or errors that are easily correctable. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and though others are encouraging you to write a sequel I will suggest you leave it as is. Sometimes a story's conclusion is best left to the reader's imagination and a sequel is rarely as good as the original story.

As the author, this is completely up to you. I will now check out your other stories. Your talent at writing is something I envy - I can't tell you how many times I have started writing a story never to finish it. I don't have what it takes - you do! Congratulations and thank you!

Is not just one star or five stars... I will give you my username... 13 stars

Your story is so great... from the build up to the ending

You sir... will receive an honor from another Literotica's member

Cheers...

So great that her brother saves Jamie. When she kisses his chest, I'd hope it tingles because he has a bit of young manly chest hair growing there. He is her hero. I also agree they should use names or nicknames, not 'Big Brother" and Sister.

Not bring a person of word Robinius1 put much better than I ever could , along with 13 stars. my 5*'s seem so little .

XXX

WELL WELL WELL DONE!

Some douche on reddit said you overused the word THAT. What a load of BS. The only time a word is overused is when you don't use it correctly. ALSO, using the word THAT is a choice in many instances, and the word THAT can help the sound of sentence when removing it makes it sound awkward. Use THAT as much as you want to, but rad the sentence aloud to make sure it sounds RIGHT.

Amateur advice is people telling you to omit words because they've heard that advice somewhere else by other amateur writers and even some professionals who PREFER it that way, while others do not. Pro-tips are when they tell you to listen to the sound of it and decide for yourself when the word is optional.

Peace!

Yes Virginia bro is a slut a man whore. yep scum of the earth... why little sis hook up with that skank???

BlackJackSteele said it so perfectly that I can't lmprove on it:

A well-written and very readable story. it was not only sexually stimulating, it was also a tender and sensitive love story.

Well done!

This is a nice story with a very nice ending. My question is, why do so many authors have trouble leaving it there? To anybody who enjoyed this story, don't read part 2.

This isn't the first story I've seen this happen to - a perfectly nice note to end on, except the author isn't satisfied by that, and decides there needs to be drama, excitement, conflict! Those sequels are painful to read, not just because they don't measure up to the original but also because they spoil it simply by existing. Chapter 1 is, by itself, a good story. That's enough.

Good was the blame game in hospital (Yoda). Followed by three pages of almost continuous sex. Should of quit while ahead. C'mon, you are better than THAT !!

PART 1 was excellent.

To those who say they story is ruined in the next chapter because it is not. Unless they were hoping for some bullshit ending or hoping everyone fucking everyone type of story. The first part is a great wonderful tale of love and commitment and that continues into the second part with some funny moments added in. I loved it and recommend this story to anyone that likes this category.

ignore the people bitching about the second chapter ruining things it was an excellent ending they want to see a story being ruined I read one where a guy got both his mom and aunt then some creep got recording of their sexual encounters blackmailed the women into becoming his personal sex toys he uses whenever he wants and turns the guy into a cuck who is only allowed to watch and the mother and aunt fully accepted it even after this creep rapes the guy who previous chapter they were all in love with

This is one of my favorites now. Well written, I hope you will add another chapter, and take to the next level. Wow.

Loved the story, it had a balance in the build-up that made reading it very enjoyable. Being Jamie's first time it showed love and restraint on her Bros (did we ever get his name?) part to restrain himself. Speaking only for myself, and make it a special night. I'm thinking that after they got more serious, and involved, first names would have been used rather than nicknames. Just a thought, but I understand that using Big Brother and Little Sister, supports the fact that this an incest story. Thanks for a great story.

You're an amazing writer! Please keep it up!

Amazing stuff. Another great story.

Please continue

A beautiful adventure of love and caring.

The writing was AWESOME!

Great, as always!

Absolutely the greatest start of a true love story. Should be required reading for anyone falling in love. I am in my eighties and feel like a stallion for this moment! You are a fabulous writer. Your lexicon and vernacular speak volumes regarding your skill and education. Damn, you are good.

I loved this story. The only critique I have is that siblings don't call each other "brother, big brother, dro, sister or little sister". They call them by their names or by nick names. I hate it when I read a very good store but every time they talk to each other. It's hey bro or hey big brother or hey little sister or hey big sister. I understand this is only my opinion. I thank you for the well written store.

EVERYONE NEEDS A FRIEND LIKE IRWIN

There's a point on p1 where you're describing romantic success. When you whine about not getting tail for being a good guy no woman will drop her panties and feel great about the whole endeavor. I agree. Women like to be chased and objectified though. They don't like the attention from just anybody, but if you are also desired they want to be looked at as a sex object.

Half these stories on here are sort of an Orwellian parity to the cuckold tale. Instead of the weak man having an actual strong/savage man come in and plow the girl, it instead goes "well actually weakness is strength ."

This is opposed to a story where a brash man learns to incorporate stability and comfort in order to keep a woman that has a certain je ne sais quois/feminine wiles about her or a weak man learns to be bold and brave to attract the girl of his dreams.

I cannot comment on the whole of the story yet (I would be shocked if the elements pertaining to courting rituals got better.) But I doubt the author bangs a lot or even bothered to pick the brain of a womanizing friend.

To be honest, I really ought to think about this story for a day or two before trying to articulate my toughts, but I'd probably never find the time to come back to it. This isn't your greatest story by a large margin, and yet it is still amongst the best on this website.

In terms of the plot it's a lot less complex and deep than some of your best stories, but that has advantages as well as weaknesses. Sometimes it's nice to have a shorter story. Probably what would have made it a bit better from my perspective though would have been a second chapter to move on to, with the story continuing once it got to that point – not descriptions of endless sex sessions, which can actually become tedious, but something else to add a twist and some tension: almost getting caught or actually getting caught by their mother, perhaps and working through that, or more about how Jamie had trouble with the pill and couldn't enjoy condoms after being spoilt the first time bareback, so insisted on no contraception, despite the risks that involved and maybe an eventual pregnancy?

Most important though, you have an incredible understanding of human nature, especially that of women. We can all learn from you. Wish you'd been around and writing when I was younger and struggled because I didn't understand women at all!

Really difficult to imaghine what sort of person you are, a retired academic perhaps, classics, I guess more so than English lit? Either way I owe you thanks.

Well, that's good. Just seen there is a part 2. I'll really loook forward to that.

Excellent story. Brother-Sister incest and discovery of love all at once.

I loved this story.

The build up, the emotions, it's all very evocative and well dona! Great characters, too!

A lovely story. Pleasantly surprised to see a part 2 was there when I got to the end. I hope they get their happily ever after. Also, sub-human monsters like Bryan deserve the death penalty. They have zero respect for other lives and would quite happily destroy other people for their own amusement. Consequently, I don't believe they should be entitled to life when they show such disregard for it.

You injecting your ideology and politics broke immersion so much. Don’t do that. It’s a lazy well to draw from and it degrades your work.

I think you’re better than that.

Great story, well written.