All Comments on 'The Taking'

...but the writing was really bad. This story needed a more credible setup, and lots of attention paid to the writing. "Emjoyed?" Come on, let's use a spell checker at least. Needed dialog, too, and a good editor to tighten up what's left.<p>Not horrible, but it could have been waaaaay better.

Not at all erotic.....no suspense, therefore my dick remained soft.

Many years ago I had some car trouble and not enough money for repairs. I took the bus to work for a few months, saving up cash, and became friends with a chubby hispanic high school girl who rode the bus too. We talked about many things and one day she asked me about "organisms". I was trying to answer the question when it seemed that, that wasn't the answer she was looking for. I asked a few more questions and it was "orgasms" that she wanted to know about. I answered her questions.

A few weeks later just before i got my car back, my young friend said that her mother wanted to talk to me. I met her at her humble home and she said that her daughter spoken about me often and told her that I was a nice guy. Long story short, she had spoken with her daughter and asked me to take her daughter's virginity. With a smile, she said that she'd have to try me out first. She did and it was hot. She called in her daughter, and I tenderly took her virginity on her mom's bed as her mom watched lovingly and approvingly. It is one of my fondest sexual experiences.

"... .said her daughter was a bit of introvert and seemed to spend most of her time either at home or in the school library. . ." and yet said she wanted it so bad she was about to scream. Daughter even cried out oh god I'm gonna cum or something to that effect. How did she go from an introvert to a sex wizard in one dicking? Sorry this story just doesn't jell as none of the action meets your opening lines. Hell, he just nails mom and then bust open the little dot's cherry. Needed a minus one but I settled for a simple one star.dad9