All Comments on 'The Talons of a Dark Heart Ch. 01'

Loved it this has the makings of a novel that I would puechase to read on kindle. I look forward to reading the next chapter.

I think I like the direction the story itself is going, but it's hard to tell from the first chapter alone. The language is somewhat mutilated, though, with awkward phrases like, "She watched smothered in despise as the fire danced..." The periodic misuse of words (in the last case a transitive verb instead of a noun like "hatred") just makes for a rough read. Several times, I found myself going back over the text because something just didn't sound right and it detracted from the overall experience. I noted 3 more chapters, but after reading the first, I'll give them a miss and wish the author the best of luck and the aid of a truly talented editor.

Keep going. This is good story. I love your writing style.