All Comments on 'The Tattoo'

Stories written in the 3rd person are like reading a newspaper report of something that happened. This was as inspiring as a Mills & Boon novel. Without the sex act it would have been a nice childrens story.

I agree it would have been better in first person. Just try rewriting it that way and see how it feels to you. The great thing about computers is you can creat copies of each revision and still have the original whenever you need it. Also consider adding some dialogue. It takes guts to submit your writing for public review. Keep at it! Don't let the bastards get you down.