All Comments on 'The Tattooed Woman Pt. 01'

More!!!

I’ve put off reading this because of the initial impression of the first two paragraphs… run ons and effed up grammar/syntax. I’m hoping it isn’t as bad in future chapters

To the most recent anon commenter: I get a moderate amount of feedback, and a lot of it is very favourable, but while that is good for the ego, it's not always the most useful as far as constructive criticism. Please help out by pointing out what you mean by run-ons and effed-up grammar/syntax. Honestly, I would appreciate the feedback, it's the only way to improve.

Don't listen to anon's Gortmundy . Your work is very readable . And creative . I'm liking this .

Great start to the story, enough to motivate me to want to finish it.

So far so good, although a little bit overboard with the Captain trying to let everyone know she's just a good old girl that's not as bad as her reputation. Kind of like the street whore with a heart, sometimes it's just a little too much to believe. Regardless, I like it and I'm going to see how the rest of the story goes.

Slavers deserve no mercy or sympathy only death.

Hmm, maybe, but perhaps Gandalf was right when he said, “Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement.”

Nice start, I think the journey will be highly entertaining.

It just feels awkward.

If those guys were awfull, like I expect slavers to be we would maybe be in for a redemption ark.

Now I nearly expected they would take eachother's hands and start singing koombaya at any moment. There is the unusual and there is the unbelievable... I keep reading... but the story just itches on the wrong places right now.

Brought here by the high scores. The vernacular seems a tad contrived which is a bit irritating. I’ll continue for a bit to see of it settles in. It’s likely, as the scores seem to go up from here.

~Spiny

You guys are right. The first three chapters are definitely the weakest, and are being extensively rewritten, though that doesnt do you guys much good here. All I can say is that the reviewers I gave it to said it picks up significantly from chapter 4, so Id ask you give it that long.

I much preferred the original chapters, I enjoyed watching your talent grow, or at least your better use of your talent, as the story continues.

This felt forced and more designed to foreshadow than a cleaning up.

I, for one, would rather you spend your time and talents on furthering this wonderful tale.

As we say in the States " if it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Tygre137

While this rewrite is good and easily readable, it feels like it is missing a little of your flair, Gortmundy.

This is the one.

Quite a lot of typos and literals.