The Term Paper

"ok, I think we're ready then." I said looking at mom. "Please state your name, sex and age for the recorder please.

Mom smiled clearing her throat mockingly." my name is Elizabeth alto, well wait. Let me start over. My name is Elizabeth Murrell, recently divorced woman and going on forty two."

"Ok" I said thinking for a moment; I picked the phone up and tapped the pause symbol on the screen. "Mom, are you sure you want to do this I don't want to bring up any bad memories or put you in a down mood again."

"Why? Because my ex-husband is and probably has had a lot more sex than I have, Because I might get upset thinking about how he's not doing any of the things that I'm about to tell you about with me anymore, his high school sweet heart and wife of twenty two years." She took a deep breath, the room filling with inexhaustible silence. " You know sweet heart I know it's going to be hard but I really do think your right. I think we're going to be all right as long as we have each other. Now quit stalling and ask the questions already."

I smiled, tapping the screen again. "Ok then Ms. Murrel; I guess were going to start. Umm I'm just going to go by the list but if there's anything that you absolutely do not wanna answer we can skip it ok."

"Son, will you quit worrying about things and just start already." She demanded trying to take her serious tone with me, which resembled a cartoon lion cub trying to roar for the first time.

"Ok, so then I'll just start I guess. Ummm ok, how old were you when you had your first sexual experience. The earliest you can remember." My words nervously fumbling out of my mouth like my tongue attempted to juggle them but dropped them all out. Lucky for me she got the basic idea of the question.

She grinned a little and flipped her hair back. "Well I guess I was about six or eight or somewhere in between there I suppose."

I looked at the reddened glow that she was already giving off. It was deliciously sexy. I sat back in the chair and started to speak but my throat just squeaked so i took a drink of my now much cooler and less painful coffee. Clearing my throat, I tried again. "Wow that young, ok could you explain the uh... the umm experience." She smiled and began telling me about the innocent discovery that I imagine almost all young human beings go through, the exploration and impulses."

I jotted down a few notes, about places and how they were connected to her and making side notes about the things, she said. When she was finished, I moved on to the next question. "Ok so when did you lose your virginity?" my voice squeaked out like a pitchy canary. My nervousness more than apparent, it was down right embarrassing.

"My mom smiled and pointed in my direction. The night I got knocked up with you believe that or not. I mean what are the chances right? How many girls literally get pregnant there first time. But you know what I think I knew it was going to happen. I was so tense and worried but I know it's what I wanted. And your dad was a very handsome and compassionate man back then, before he became full of himself. I think he honestly believed we'd spend the rest of our lives together. It was so perfect to, I was a couple of months away from turning nineteen and had been dating your father for about eight months. I was a little surprised that he had stuck it out with me for as long as he did considering I was holding out on him. But the night he asked me to marry him I knew I couldn't wait any longer and I shouldn't make him either. After all he wasn't a virgin like I was, and he's five years older than me so he had a few girlfriends before. Come to find out he had a few girlfriends after me to." She finished down her first cup of coffee.

She put the cup on the nightstand and folded her hands together stuffing them flat between her knees, and looked back at me. Quiet, like she was expecting me to say something more but I was expecting more to her story.

"And" I asked.

"What do you mean and,"

"Well mom I kind of need more details for the analyses. What did you do, how did it make you feel, is there any fantasies you've never divulged before or what are your hang-ups, what's the line that you can't except crossing. What turns you on? Things like this. If you can't do this mom I understand."

Moms eyes got big as golf balls, "oh ok, I can do this, I'm sorry I just didn't think I guess. Ok well here we go then. Ummm the night was clear and it was a summer evening in a little special hide away spot that we used to go to by the lake. It was away from just about anything and, well was our special place. Your dad had gotten a picnic meal from the chicken shack and pitched us up a tent. Our parents refused to let us stay together so we had set it up for our parents to think we were both staying with a friend for the weekend so for the next couple of days we could just be us. I think I was a naturist in another life or something because we hardly had any clothing on that whole weekend and it honestly suits me just fine. I had considered becoming a nudist but your father said it was a ridiculous idea and how would we explain things to the kids and yada yada yada. Anyway, so when we first got there he ran and sat everything down and ran down to the lake stripping. I of course was turning four shades of red, but I knew I was going to have to do this one way or another so I might as well cowgirl up, as they say these days."

I jotted a few side notes about her thoughts on naturism, twirling my finger as I wrote, signaling her to continue. "

Ok well honestly the first time was painful but thankfully your dad had been so pent up from waiting so long that it was over pretty quick, there wasn't much to it. The second time though was much, much better. We got up after and jumped into the lake to wash off. You know the blood, not that it was a lot but to me it was a little yucky having it smashed and rubbed on us. I don't know, it's a thing I guess, any way we jumped into the lake again to wash off. Like fishy water was any better, it wasn't really fishy were we were though which I found curious. Anyway, we got out and sat by the fire naked as the day we were born and made s'mores and fed them to each other like. Well like two kids in love."

My heart sank as her lip began trembling. I wanted to hold her and tell her it was ok he didn't deserve her any way and I loved her and that should be enough and, the list went on. But I knew I couldn't. I knew what would come of it. She wiped her eyes out with the corner of her silky robe revealing a very naked very sexy upper thigh. My mind immediately began wondering, is she naked underneath, it looks like she could be naked underneath. Maybe I'll get lucky and get a quick flash. You know; basic perverted male type thoughts. I told you I had issues; don't look at me like that.

Finally I figure id ask even though I already knew the answer. "Mom, are you sure.'"

She nodded yes and reached for the cup of coffee again, it was kind of a security blanket of sorts I think. "Yes honey, I'm fine." She said taking a deep breath. "Any way, you want details. Ok, ummm his penis wasn't the first thing I had put inside of me. I began to masturbate regularly before but never breaking my hymen, though I did almost once. To this day I think it was cracked before he broke it." She smiled looking in the bottom of her empty cup "I wonder how that would make your dad feel, tell him he only finished what I started. That's the way it always was though, if I didn't give the incentive, he was so fucking vanilla. But he did have a cock on him." she said nodding her head, still looking into the cup like there was a black and white spinning spiral twisting around and putting her in a trance.

I wasn't sure how it felt listening to her ramble on, she was finally beginning to open up a little bit. It was strange listening to the things she was saying and the language that she was using. I had heard mom cuss on occasion but she was dropping curses much more often. She seemed like a, like I don't know, I guess I just never thought of her on a deeper level before as the person behind what she was to me. I was beginning to feel even closer to her, falling deeper and deeper for this forbidden woman the more I see of the woman behind my mom.

I smiled, at the way she talked about dads' dick. " yea I know, I inherited it." I said as she remarked about the size of it again.

"You know baby, I'm not going to lie to you." She said sitting up a little to straighten her back, her tits almost spilling out of her loosely closed robe. "I kinda always wondered about that, I wasn't sure if you would take after your father or my side of the family. I guess either way you wouldn't be getting a bad deal but your fathers got a little more girth to his than my side of the family." She said flipping her hair again and playing with the corner of her silky robe.

I didn't know for sure but if she wasn't doing this intentionally than she was driving me into a frenzy for no reason at all and I'm not sure that that makes it any better. "Well ummm, well uhhh." I stammered, "Well I'm figuring I took after dad because I hafta buy the big condoms, you know the golden wrapper."

"You mean the golden tickets" she chuckled. I looked at her surprised. "What? I know what it means. I had one at my disposal whenever I wanted it." I smiling at first but her face turned sour." Not really though, I never had him when I wanted, that's why I was so lucky to have you. You look almost just like him only cuter since you got your mommas eye and lips."

"Well I wish you could tell all chicks that cause I don't really think they see it that way." I said laughing sarcastically, staring down at the little note boke drawing little balloon letters that said mom with a heart for the o.

"Non-sense I bet you have them lined up around the class room when you walk in," she teased.

"Hardly, there isn't even a first in line, No one ride ticket, nothen." I said feeling like a loser complaining to his mom that his sex life sucks."

"Well maybe they need to see what I see, cause let me tell you honey if you weren't my son I'd eat you up."

I laughed, "yeah right,"

"No seriously" she sat up looking me in the eyes, in a very convincing manor." I know I probably shouldn't say this but baby if I wasn't your mom I would fuck your brains out, momma would take real good care of her baby boy" she busted up laughing. I knew she was joking but it felt like she was being so real. My heart skipped a beat, the blood rushing to the head of my cock when she said, "fuck your brains out." It was so hot I instantly got hard as iron.

Blushing in three shades of red simultaneously and crossing my legs to hide my throbbing cock I looked over at her "continue you were talking about..."

"I was talking about your vanilla father. Yea he had a good cock but that was it. I mean we didn't do anything; I'd read in magazines and read erotica, now it's all I read. I masturbate all the time because I hardly ever get any type of attention. The attention I would get would be so brief, sure, it felt good having him inside me but he just never tried to share any passion with me. I used to think that it all went into his work which made me jealous of his work, but he's probably had mistresses all along and that would explain a lot."

"What other things do you mean? When you say dad was vanilla what do you think other flavors are." I said smiling. "Most important what are the things that you're talking about is there something you'd like to try. Things you always had a curiosity for." She was fidgeting, biting her lip. I think this is turning her on. Just thinking about her getting excited made me more excited as I rearranged my shorts, twisting in the office chair.

"Are you sure you want to hear this I don't want you to think I'm some creepy slut or something." She giggled tucking a loose lock of her hair behind her ear.

I couldn't believe it, she was afraid that I would think the things she craved were fucked up or something. "Mom I'm pretty freaky to, there nothing and I mean nothing that you could say that would affect the way I love you right now. Trust me in that." I said looking in to her eyes. I could tell she relaxed and believed me.

"Ok then well I'll go back to what me and your dad shared and what we didn't. Now I don't have a great understanding of sex but I like to think that I know a bit about what gets my motor running. And I figured if it worked for me, it would work for him but I was wrong. In fact if I would ask for anything out of the norm of stick it and snooze than I was named a freak or weird. I remember the first time I asked your dad if he would go down on me. I read about cunlingus in lots of stories and I had always wondered how these girls could have such earth shattering orgasms. I really wanted to have one like that. I mean I brought my self-off all the time but I had never received an orgasm."

"Wait a minute, hold up," I demanded waving my hand. I couldn't believe my ears. "Are you telling me that in all those years of marriage dad never gave you an orgasm?"

"Maybe once or twice with his hand but I was lucky if that happened maybe three or four times in all those years. And your dad was very adventurous until after I had you. He was right there in the room during delivery. I just thought it was because he could never get the picture out of his head of what my pussy looked like afterwards. Ever since that day it's been like he's disgusted by me. But it was worth it, I'd trade a hundred of your father for just one of you and that's even if he wasn't a cheating lying bastard."

"So refused cunnilingus, is there anything else that gets your motor going?" I asked for some reason desperate to get the focus back on her.

" oh yea I mean I have all kinds of fantasies, voyeur, I tried to get your dad to do role playing, you know I dressed up like a street walker and had him come pick me up on the corner a few streets over but out of the way you know. Any way he was so pissed he kept yelling' "if I wanted a whore id go get a professional one." God he was such a dick head when I think about it. I really wanted him to go down on me, real bad. That was fuel for my fantasies for the greater part of the years. For a while there I got into lesbian erotica and then I got the idea of wanting to try a woman." Her eyes looked up at mine trying to read my reaction but I just played it cool and acted like it was no big deal.

"So what did my free thinking father do about that?" I asked calmly.

"He called me a cheating slut and told me if I wanted to be a carpet licker he'd take you away and never let me see you again. So I quickly quit reading lesbian stories. I guess that's one good thing about him going, I can do whatever I want now, and whoever for that matter."

"That's not the only thing, now keep going." I urged her.

She waved her hand around like the world was her picking and choosing. What I would do if she chose me. "Don't lower yourself momma, be sure that whoever it is that you hook up with sees you for you and not just meat. I don't want you to get hurt any more than you already have."

"Fat chance of that" she laughed, "the only person that sees me for me is you. We might as well just start hooking up if that's what you want me to wait for, even you're father never really understood me like you do." She licked her lips, our eyes locking with each other. "Like I said; shame your my son." My pulse raced and the head of my stiff cock was pushing hard against the fabric of my pants. She was quite literally coming on to me I couldn't believe it.

"Anyway yea I wanted to try all kinds of stuff," she purred stretching her arms up over her head, her breast pushing out, stretching the fabric to its full extent. I was waiting for it to rip at the bust. She was aroused, judging by the way her hard nipples were pushing out against their silky restraints. I gulped trying to keep my composure, shifting in the seat, crossing my legs.

"I of course gave him head and even turned him onto rimming, not that he ever returned the favor. Eventually he even got into me performing anal on him with toys." She paused again judging my reaction. I almost felt like she was judging me.

"Once again, he never returned the favor. He really liked it when I'd get the rabbit up in him in the right spot, milking his cock like a cow's teat. He'd come so hard. Sometimes I'd cum from watching him without even touching myself, my never by him or his touch. I even tried to get him into bdsm and let him be my Dom, but he just got mad and spanked me way too hard to teach me a lesson, ignoring every safe word that I could think of."

I was confused, I didn't see any logical explanation for what was so bad that he would hafta do that to her. Treat her in such a way that it came to physical and emotional abuse. I had no idea that she had been done this way and by my own father no less. I felt furious and an anger towards the man that sired me unlike any way that I've ever felt towards another human being. "Why, momma, what was so bad about that?"

"Well baby, I guess he was just pissed that I kept looking for things other than what he gave me. He figured that the few pumps of his cock should be enough to keep me craving him and only him and when I looked for other forms of pleasure it popped his big cloudy bubble that his delusions of grandeur were stuffed in."

'Wow she's really smart at times.' ", what are some of the things that you CAN NOT see yourself ever doing, Things that you would consider a complete turn off."

"Ummm; anything that has to do with shit, that is just freaking gross and how anyone could get down on the farm is beyond me. Honestly, I can't even think about anything even remotely related to bdsm anymore and get aroused at all; He spoiled that for me. And I've been made to feel so bad about getting my pussy ate ill probably never enjoy it if I ever get the chance to have it done. I can't stand socks in the bed, something he was synonymous for. I don't like any food sex either especially popsicles. You don't want to know why and I prefer not to tell you."

"Is that because of something that dad did to, what kind of line did he cross with that? I'm already half tempted to kick his ass now over what you've already told me."

"You can't get personal with anything I tell you, there's got to be confidentiality son. Seriously and no it wasn't because of anything your father did, it's because of some things that your grandfather did, some really bad things. That's enough about that he's off burning in one hell or another and that's how I want it."

"Ok I understand, I'm sorry, so anything else you want to add. "

"Ummm yea but I don't know if I should, it's really different. "

"Mom I told you there's nothing you can't tell me. I'm not freaked out about anything you've said here, all these things that you want to do are great and somewhat normal fetishes. The ones you don't like are backed by strong personal and understandable negative emotions." I reasoned with her. She had me curious now. There was something that she didn't want to divulge because she was afraid of how I would look at it and considering the things she's already told me I had to know what it was. What was she afraid of telling to anyone?

"Well, I know I said I didn't want to talk about it but I hafta mention it because it may or may not have anything to do with it. Now I've thought about this and I don't know if it's because of what your grandfather did or if I'm just a perverted nut I..."

She stopped, I didn't push and didn't want to, I knew she'd say it when she was ready, whatever it is.

She grabbed a pillow and smashed it in to her lap sitting up and arranging herself Indian style. "I umm get, well I get really turned on from stories about incest..."