All Comments on 'The Thirst Within Ch. 02'

This explains so much. Can wait for the next chapter.

Please compare the following with how you have it:

He inhaled deeply, then said, "You are not completely human yourself. There is human in there, but it's hidden – artificial, almost. Something's mimicking it." By this point, his eyes had returned to their natural blue.

"What are you then?" I asked, curious. Not just about him, but about what I was, as well.

He grinned. "That's a secret for later. You have an interesting scent – a wisp of the supernatural."

"Zak, I want to know something."

His smile faded slightly. "Ask away."

Keep it simple, and punctuate. Also, keep the text relating to the two parts of the dialogue grouped, first one character, then the next - that way, your reader can follow more easily who's "talking". As it is, reading it is more work than it's worth.

Please continue... I'm loving ur story...I'm with u all the way...its not hard to read and follow at all... I really don't know what is Anon's problem ...

I am eagerly awaiting your next chapter!

Love the story can't wait until the next chapter

Loving it !! Totally addictive story, Can't wait to read more :))

Casual vampirism. Something is indeed different about Oscar.