The Trainer Pt. 03

So Amy had gotten on the plane with the devastating likely possibility unspoken; the possibility that she would never see Charlie again. She felt like she had cried throughout the whole twelve hour flight, although she probably had fallen asleep from exhaustion at some point.

She had managed to blame her red eyes and puffy face on the flight when she landed and her parents picked her up from the airport. She was just not ready to talk about why she was so depressed. They certainly noticed but seemed to think she was just sad to have left a Caribbean paradise behind. Her mum tried to make it better by cooking all her favourite meals. It helped, but only a little.

Amy had only stayed with her parents a few days, before going to stay with Jordan and Megan. The girls had insisted when she had expressed her concerns about moving back in with her parents. She would be looking for a new apartment from January, but in the weeks before Christmas nothing tended to move in the renting world.

In the past two weeks, Amy had often wondered if the girls had regretted inviting her. She had been anything but pleasant company, being downright grumpy most of the time, overeating on whatever she could find in the snack cupboard, and playing sad love songs and bursting into tears over them. Of course, Megan and Jordan were nothing but understanding, and tried to make her feel better about what they had dubbed her 'Caribbean Candy'. She did not deserve such good friends. At least she was due to go back to her parents for Christmas in a few days. Her friends would get a break from her then.

Adding to her moodiness, work was an absolute mess ever since she'd returned. As it turned out, there had been a significant mismatch in expectations around the state of the project. Although Amy had had regular catch-ups with her manager and had updated him on all the delays, it appeared that the problems had consistently been downplayed by the local management, presumably to save face in the light of what were clearly shortcomings in their organisation.

As a result, the news that the project wasn't nearly done had come as a bit of a shock to her company's higher management, at the time when it really couldn't be avoided telling the British partners. They were not prepared. The last two weeks had been crisis management and filling out report after report on the 'whys' and 'hows', consequences, and risk mitigation. Working on a solution seemed to only be possible after analysing the situation into the ground first.

"They still haven't found a replacement!" Amy ranted when she came home from work on her last day before Christmas.

Jordan looked up from her laptop. That girl was always working on her PhD, day and night, even as everyone else was winding down for their Christmas breaks. "Wine?" She asked.

"Yes please! I'll get it." Amy grabbed a bottle from the kitchen and poured two glasses. "Is Meg home?" She shouted towards the lounge, wondering if she needed a third glass.

"Yes, she's in the shower. But she's working so she won't have any wine," came the answer.

Amy handed Jordan a glass and flopped down on the sofa. "I'm not looking forward to January," Amy said. "I just know that whoever they bring in, I'll have to teach them everything we've done in the past year, all in the space of a couple of weeks, if I'm lucky."

Jordan nodded understandingly. This was not the first time Amy had told her friends about the work malarkey. "I'm sure you'll do great though, Ames. Plus, you've got everything in reports and stuff. They can read, right?"

"Yes, but the facts in those reports are only one side of it. There's all the local knowledge, the finesse of doing things there. There are cultural differences that are really important in getting things done, you know? I underestimated that too, but if it hadn't been for Lucas..." Amy sighed and massaged her temples, feeling a headache come on. "I've been back in the office for two weeks and I already feel stressed to my core."

"Makes you wish you were back in the Caribbean, hah?"

"Don't even joke!" Amy huffed, taking a gulp of wine.

"I wasn't...," Jordan mumbled, but she was drowned out by Megan who walked into the room and greeted them loudly. Her hair was still wet from her shower but she was already dressed in the black polo shirt she wore to her job as a bartender at the 'Shake 'n' Stir' cocktail bar.

"Amy was just telling me that they still haven't found someone to go to the island and take over from where she left things," Jordan said, "and how she's going to have to teach them everything she knows when they do find someone."

"Unless... that someone is you...," Megan said, taking Jordan's glass and sipping from her wine and looking at Amy.

"Unless that someone is you..." Jordan agreed thoughtfully, as if she'd only just thought about this. Amy had seen the two of them play this game too often to fall for the charade. It was obvious they had talked about this before. Amy had seen the thought clear as day on their faces whenever she talked about Charlie, but they'd never spoken the words before.

Of course, the thought had crossed Amy's mind too. Her manager had brought it up a few times but it was clear he didn't feel it was right to ask her outright if she'd go back. He saw it as some sort of sacrifice she had made. Obviously, it had been quite the opposite. Every now and then Amy had even allowed herself to briefly indulge in the fantasy of going back, imagining herself back on the island, back doing the work she'd enjoyed. Most importantly, being with Charlie. Maybe for good.

But sooner or later, reality had kicked in and she had dismissed the thought. It was crazy after all. She couldn't just up sticks and leave again, she had only just gotten back!

Besides, she and Charlie had never talked about their future, if there even was one. They had enjoyed their time together, however brief, but did that mean they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together, if circumstances would allow it? If Amy could be sure that it did, for both of them, she'd allow herself to think about how she could change those circumstances.

She knew her friends were thinking along these lines. They were probably wondering why Amy came back to the UK in the first place. But it was more complicated than that. Charlie would never ask her to come back, or to stay, and she'd be worried if Amy came back for her. She didn't believe in that. She didn't believe Amy wouldn't eventually want to leave again. Her past experiences with Lily had seen to that. And if she'd leave again, what was the point?

Of course, Amy couldn't guarantee anything. She was realistic enough to know that she couldn't promise she'd never want anything different in her life. But then, neither could Charlie. Amy was of the opinion that if she only ever tried things that were certain to succeed, she'd never try anything. Of course she understood where Charlie was coming from - she'd been hurt in the past - which is why she respected Charlie's decision not to bring it up. And why she knew not to expect any grand romantic gestures.

Her friends wouldn't understand that. They hadn't seen the hurt in Charlie's eyes when she'd talked about Lily, when she'd talked about why she couldn't be with Amy, even though it was all she wanted. Megan would probably think that what Charlie needed was to be swept off her feet with a surprise intercontinental move, and Jordan would surely come up with a solution for every concern Amy would point out.

"Guys, it's not going to be me," Amy said, annoyed, although she wasn't sure if she was annoyed with her friends or with the fact that it wasn't going to be her.

"Amy, come on. Think about it!" Megan said, having another sip of Jordan's wine.

"Do you want a glass?" Jordan asked with a chuckle.

"No, thanks babe. I'm working." Another sip. She addressed Amy again: "It's a no-brainer..."

"Oh yeah? How's that?" Amy grumbled, knowing exactly what arguments they were going to put forward.

"Let's see..." Megan pretended to think hard, even though it was supposed to require no brain power. "Your manager is dying for you to go back, because you're the best person for the job and you already know everything. The local management desperately wants you back. And Lucas has literally been begging you to come back." Megan was counting the reasons on her fingers. "Then there's the sun, the beaches, the cocktails, the sea... Not to mention the fact that your dog is still there..."

"That's mean!" Amy protested. "You know I can't wait to have her back." She had been missing Jamie terribly, which was made worse by the fact that missing Jamie reminded her of Charlie, whom she also missed terribly. Of course, Charlie had kept her up to date about Jamie's every move and the details of her recovery. But that was just it too, their communication had been mostly about Jamie. They had both slipped in the occasional term of endearment and even an 'I miss you' but they had not talked about their feelings or how they saw their relationship.

"I feel like I'm missing something...," Megan continued, unperturbed, tapping the finger that would indicate the next reason tentatively.

"There's the girl...," Jordan offered helpfully.

"Oh, that's right! There's the fact that the love of your life lives there and you've been moping around miserably ever since you got back because you miss her so much and just want to be with her."

"I haven't been moping...," Amy protested, unable to contest the rest of the statement.

Jordan and Megan both laughed sceptically. "Please, you're a love-sick puppy and we all know why!" Jordan said.

"You're not seriously suggesting I U-haul my ass across the Atlantic to be with a girl I barely spent two weeks with?"

"Of course that's what we're suggesting. When you know, you know, don't you?" Megan quoted one of her favourite sayings. "And I think you know." Forever the romantic, she had probably started planning Amy's wedding to Charlie, even though it wasn't even legal on the island.

"Besides, you've known her for much longer than two weeks, even if it took you a while to get together. It took us forever and look at us now," Jordan added.

"We've seen you two together. You two are fireworks, girl," Megan agreed. "Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you insisting on staying on this cold, wet mud island when you can be with the girl you love in the sunshine? I mean, we'll miss you but we'll come visit again, if you twist our arms."

The girl she loved? A nervous jitter coursed through Amy's body that was halfway between panic and excitement. Did she love Charlie? Of course you do, her heart told her. It's too soon to know, her brain countered.

"But we haven't even talked about it, Charlie and me. What if she doesn't want me to come back? What if it was just fun while it lasted? What if she's already over me? I told you she has this thing about dating expats... And that's understandable. I mean, what if she doesn't want to take this any further? What if..." Amy struggled to express the severity of this concern; the depth of Charlie's reluctance to start something with Amy in the first place.

Megan put her hand up impatiently. "Let me stop you right there. How about you just talk to her and find out what she thinks instead of speculating until your head explodes?"

Now it was definitely panic she was feeling. How could she possibly bring up that topic of conversation without Charlie thinking - knowing - that Amy considered coming back for her; the one thing she said she'd never ask of Amy?

"What about my parents? What do I tell them? They're going to kill me if I leave again," she distracted her brain with another worry. She knew right away it had been the wrong thing to do. Now her friends thought they had convinced her on the Charlie front and moved on to dismiss her next concern.

"Tell them you have to follow your dreams, live your own life. They want you to be happy, don't they?" Jordan said.

Amy didn't answer. Of course they wanted her to be happy but perhaps not 'living thousands of miles away' happy.

"God, you guys... Even if... All that... I wouldn't even know where to begin arranging all of that," she said with a sigh. Was she seriously considering this? If she allowed herself to imagine Charlie would be happy about her coming back, there was certainly a clear layer of excitement and joy underneath the panic she felt about the practicalities.

Now the girls were in their element. Jordan started typing rapidly on her laptop while Megan rattled off: "Your stuff is still in storage; that's easy to extend. You don't have an apartment yet. Call your boss and tell him you'll happily take his offer. Call Charlie and tell her you're coming back. Tell your parents when you see them over Christmas. Pack your suitcase and get on a plane, ASAP."

"There are still some cheap flights between Christmas and New Year's," Jordan reported excitedly.

"Let me see that," Megan said, leaning over her shoulder. "Wow, that is cheap. We paid almost double!"

Jordan scrutinised the information on her screen, clearly comparing some options. "You could go on the 28th, fly early in the morning and arrive early afternoon. That gives you a few days to get your jet lag in check and be ready to kick off the New Year with the love of your life."

Amy came over to look at the flight information. She couldn't help it. Every part of her now seemed geared towards making this happen, even though she hadn't ironed out any of her concerns about the plan. Seeing the words on the screen - the name of the destination, the exact time she could be with Charlie - drove the reality home for Amy. She could really do this. She could be with Charlie in less than a week. They would work it out. She'd show Charlie that they should give this a shot.

Sensing her coming round to the idea, Jordan asked: "Want me to book it?" Her cursor hovered meaningfully over the 'Book now' button.

Amy hesitated a moment longer, although she wasn't really thinking about it anymore. "Yeah, book it," she said quietly. Megan let out an excited squeak and hugged her while Jordan kicked off the booking process, grinning from ear to ear.

It took only moments to change the course of Amy's future and now, with the flight confirmation in her email inbox, she allowed the excitement to come through. "I'm going back," she whispered at first. "I'm going back!!!" She exclaimed then, as she threw her hands in the air and made a little jump of joy. It was so out of character that Jordan and Megan laughed and gathered her for a group hug.

"Yes, you're going back, sweetie. And we'll start saving for our next visit. And speaking of saving, I need to work to do that, and I am running so late! Gotta go. Good luck with the preparations. I want to hear all about it in the morning!" At that, Megan was out the door, stumbling over the untied laces of her shoes on her way.

"I better make some phone calls then...," Amy said, stalling.

Jordan nodded. "You stay here for that. I need to head upstairs anyway. Good luck. Let me know if you need anything, okay?"

Amy thought for a moment about who she should call first. She quickly decided on her manager. She should make this a reality, regardless of what Charlie would say. She wasn't going back just for Charlie, after all. Mostly for her, she admitted that, but she couldn't tell Charlie that.

The phone call to her manager was quick and smooth, as was to be expected. Of course, he had been a bit surprised about Amy calling him on a Friday night, but he had been ecstatic by the news, saying they would start arranging things after Christmas. When Amy told him when she was leaving, he had been audibly shocked but had agreed that they could work out the details while she was already there. It was probably good to get a flying start in the New Year, he had concluded.

Next, Amy called Charlie, waiting nervously for the video call to connect.

"Hey!" Charlie's face appeared on her phone screen and from the movement in the background it was clear she was walking.

"Hey Charlie," Amy said, a smile spreading from ear to ear, as it tended to do whenever she saw the other girl. "What are you up to?"

"Oh, I was just about to walk the dogs." Charlie spun the camera around so Amy could see a pack of dogs standing around her. She was extra pleased to see Jamie, wagging her tail and standing unsupported on her healing leg. "You have good timing. Another few minutes and I would have been out of signal."

"How's Jamie?" Amy asked. She cursed herself for getting into small talk. She had intended to just bust out the news but she was getting more nervous about telling Charlie by the second.

"She's doing so good! Look at her." Charlie aimed the camera at Jamie again. "Say hi to your momma, Jamie. Say hi." Jamie's nose touched the camera as she came in for a sniff, but she didn't seem to understand why Amy's voice was coming out of that little black box.

"We saw the vet this morning, actually. I was going to call you. He says her leg is looking good and she can fly now."

"Really?" Amy tried to sound excited. Of course she was excited that her girl was healthy again but she wasn't planning on her flying anytime soon.

"Yeah," Charlie nodded, aiming the camera at herself again and clearly sitting down to continue her conversation. Amy recognised her terrace and longed to be sitting there, right next to her. Soon. "I haven't looked into flights yet. It might be a bit difficult to find a handler now with Christmas and New Year's but I promise I'll get her back to you as soon as I can." Her arm moved up and down outside of the view and it was clear she was stroking Jamie when she said: "I'm going to miss this happy little girl."

Part of Amy wanted to continue the small talk, to avoid the more difficult topic, but she realised that this was her moment. "Actually, I was thinking I might come over...," she started. This didn't quite cover the reality of her plans, but she realised she hadn't prepared for this conversation at all.

"You are?" Even through the slightly pixelated video connection, Amy could see the look of surprise on Charlie's face. There was no other visible emotion at first, but her voice sounded slightly strained. "When?"

It wasn't really the confetti and balloons Amy had been hoping for. Here goes nothing. "The 28th."

"Of December?!" Now Charlie was definitely shocked and she seemed to be battling to hide an array of complex emotions. When Amy nodded, she squeezed out a grin. "You miss me that much?"

Charlie had no idea just how much. "You know I do," Amy replied, really wishing she could just see inside Charlie's head and know what the girl was thinking. Of course it was a lot to take in, they had only just said goodbye and it hadn't been easy. Yet, Amy was really hoping Charlie was at least a little excited about the news. Unable to wait for the other girl to let her emotions show, she burst out: "Are you happy to hear it?"

"Girl, I'm still processing! I can't believe you're coming over. It's just..." Charlie's head gave a quick dismissive shake, as if her next thought didn't really matter. "Yes, of course, I'm happy Amy," she concluded, with a smile that looked a lot more genuine now. Amy could understand her hesitation. She probably logically assumed Amy was coming over for a holiday and that they'd have to do their emotional goodbye all over again at the end of it.

Amy was about to drop the bombshell that she was planning to stay when it suddenly seemed Charlie realised she hadn't quite shown enough enthusiasm. "That really is exciting, Amy. I can't wait to see you again. How long for? What brought this on? That will make things so much easier flying back with Jamie."