The Training of Jeff Stintum Ch. 18

Chapter 18: The Sarah in the Other Room

A while later, maybe ten minutes, maybe twenty, maybe longer, Jeff was able to start moving his body again. Every movement seemed like it was in slow motion, almost like he was trying to move about underwater. His body was exhausted; he was covered in sweat, his limbs ached terribly, and every breath burned in his lungs. Even after he was able to move, it still took him about ten minutes to muster up the energy to actually stand. He reached for the crutches automatically, and used them to help him rise up. He didn't even think about using them anymore — at this point it was second nature.

Finally on his feet, he looked around the kitchen and into the living room. The house appeared to be empty. It was completely quiet. There was no sign of Sarah...had she left? Almost as soon as that question flashed in his mind, Jeff knew the answer was "no." The house seemed to smile to itself as it hummed with a kind of invisible energy that had been absent during the day. She was here.

But where was she? Jeff slowly began to walk on his crutches, bit by bit, making his way toward the living room. He looked toward the big red sofa — Sarah was nowhere to be seen. He suddenly realized that she must be in her bathroom...or maybe her bedroom. Excitement sprang up in his chest as he imagined her getting ready for bed, brushing her teeth, brushing out her hair, looking at herself in the mirror, and then seeing him and giving him a big smile, as if to say "almost ready for bed!"

The horror of their previous exchange had almost completely evaporated from Jeff's brain. He had been so overwhelmed by Sarah's humiliating dirty talk, her size comparisons with him, her effortless deepthroating, and her long finger in his ass, that he had not really had time to truly appreciate what was happening to him. He had mostly been trying to unsuccessfully stave off a panic attack, and when her finger went into his ass, all bets were off — she had wiped his mind clean.

And now, twenty or thirty or however many minutes later, he was not able to think back and experience the horror he felt in that moment. His mind had blocked out his desperate resistance, and the earnestness of his struggle against the humiliation that he did not want. The more time passed, the more it just seemed like an...intense encounter. He remembered everything that had happened, but he did not have the capacity to acknowledge that Sarah had just raped him while he was having a panic attack. Instead, his mind went somewhere else.

'Didn't think I was into anal stuff,' he thought as he crutched himself towards Sarah's master suite. He laughed to himself. 'Well, guess I was wrong!' He shook his head and allowed his internal laughter to trickle out into the external world through some chuckles. 'And of course,' he thought, continuing to laugh to himself, 'Sarah would be into that stuff...damn she's kinky.'

Anyone who had witnessed what had happened a short time before might have been flabbergasted by Jeff's mindset — how could he have forgotten his hopeless humiliation that had brought him to tears, even as he was forced to orgasm? How could he possibly have forgotten something so intense? But Jeff hadn't really forgotten. Over the years, as more and more evidence built around him of his own inadequacy, his own immaturity, and his own small stature, he had developed some convenient mental habits that were always waiting in the wings to sweep in and save him from any negative feelings: anything that didn't make him feel good, that didn't vindicate him as an intelligent, interesting, and desirable man, he simply discounted. Anything that made him question himself and his own life choices...well, he simply swept it under the rug and carried on doing whatever it was that he was doing. That was why he had made it all the way to 28 — all the way to poor health and a bad hip through drinking, smoking, poor diet, bad sleep, and a lack of exercise — without accomplishing anything, while feeling proud of himself.

But meeting Sarah had started to change all of that. Her behavior had forced him to look at himself for what he really was: small, weak, and submissive, both physically and mentally. And even worse, she had forced him to contend with the fact that he was actually aroused by these realities. And as she had shown time and time again, Jeff simply did not possess the ability to resist her.

But now, in these moments of come-down, when Sarah didn't appear to be around, Jeff could regroup and push all of the humiliation, all the submission, and all the crazy erotic desire out of his mind. What was left made him smile: he was getting the most insane blowjobs from the hottest bombshell of a girl he had ever met. Who cared that it was his old neighbor, little Sarah Helleger? Jesus Christ, had she grown up or what! And she was into him! Jeff couldn't help it — his face spread out in a wide grin as he crutched toward the bathroom door. Who could blame her, after all? With, you know, the size of his dick and all. She wasn't in the bathroom. Or her bedroom either. Hmmmmm...Jeff was a bit puzzled as he turned to leave the bedroom suite. Had she really left the house?

As Jeff turned to leave Sarah's bedroom, the only thing that really stuck in his mind was what she had said after she had left him lying on the floor...something about having "conquered" his dick? What had she meant by that? Was she saying that she wished that he was even bigger than he was? Jeff felt a little unpleasant pit in his stomach...was his cock not enough for her? He had never had such a thought, but then again, no girl had been able to deepthroat him at all, let alone as smoothly and effortlessly as Sarah had. Any trouble she had the previous night seemed to have gone away...she had said that she needed a "challenge," right? As Jeff crutched into the living room, his brow furrowed a bit as he contemplated this problem. How could he make his dick bigger?

And then he saw her. She was sitting at her desk, with her back to him. She had her headphones in and appeared to be intently working. Jeff stopped dead in his tracks, and any thoughts he had been having were suddenly gone. His world became only her. She had apparently changed clothes — she was wearing a baggy grey sweatshirt and tight white yoga pants, which he could see in the curves of her ass and hips that were spilling slightly over either side of her chair. She was crouched over a mass of papers on her desk that were spread out all around her. Since he was watching her, Jeff became attuned to her presence, and heard the busy scribbling of her pencil...how had he not heard that before? She had been sitting right there the whole time.

Automatically, Jeff began to limp toward her. The closer he got, the bigger she looked in her chair. He got all the way up to her, until he was about five feet away. Sarah still hadn't looked up, giving no indication that she knew he was there. Being this close to her, Jeff saw that Sarah's head was actually a bit taller than his, even though she was sitting down and slightly hunched.

A ball grew in Jeff's throat as he gawked at her from behind. She had her hair up in a messy haphazard ponytail. He couldn't believe it. She looked...like an overgrown college student.

'I guess that's what she is!' laughed Jeff to himself. He had never seen her in quite this way before, and it only deepened his fascination. He jumped back a bit as Sarah sat up straight suddenly, drawing her head even higher above his than it had already been. She still had her back to him, though, and after a few moments she hunched herself back down, cupping her chin in her hands as she leaned down on her forearms, evidently still focusing on her work.

Jeff watched her for another minute or so before he started feeling awkward. He wanted to get her attention, but he also really didn't want to disturb her. Although he didn't know it, deep down inside, he didn't want to disturb her because he was afraid of her. Deep down, he knew that she was some kind of threat to him, some kind of a predator that would consume him. But he couldn't access these feelings. He had built up too much of a defense against reality.

And...it was her. Sitting down in her chair, her hair all messy, in her sweatshirt and yoga pants, hard at work, she looked more beautiful than ever.

'What a good student!' Jeff suddenly thought, smiling again. 'Look at her go!' His mind shot back to the phone conversation she had had earlier that evening with the fourth-year med student — she had seemed so knowledgeable, so on top of it. 'They better look out,' thought Jeff, almost paternally, 'she's comin' to get em'! Sarah's gonna blow them all out of the water!' He paused, laughing to himself as he fixated on the word "blow."

'Well...she'll be blowing me anyway,' he thought, and then he saw Sarah's huge hand extend up and begin drumming its long, long fingers on the table. The sight of her massive hand up close, and those lithe fingers drumming their red clawed nails on the table suddenly shot his mind to her face with his dick in her mouth, snarling and shaking itself back and forth rapidly. His heart stopped a moment as he let out a gasp, and he immediately broke out into another cold sweat.

But she hadn't heard him. And almost as soon as the memory had come, it was gone again. Jeff once again felt warmed as he regarded her.

'Maybe we could get married sometime,' he thought abruptly. He let his thoughts wander...maybe they could be like those people who get married on the beach. His heart dropped a little as he imagined the wedding photos — she would be so much bigger than him, and everyone would be talking about it. His cock woke up. He realized that he was naked. Where was that blanket that she had draped over him a while back?

'Never mind,' he thought, irritated at his penis for getting hard. He just wanted to daydream about him and Sarah being together. Maybe they could even have kids...oh god! What if they had a daughter!? Would she grow up to be as big as Sarah?? His dick was still growing, and Jeff was not able to suppress his sudden rage. He reached his hand through one of his crutches and grabbed his cock, holding it there and giving it a stern shake, as if to rebuke it. Why was it getting hard when he was thinking about all this stuff? After a few moments Jeff realized that he was only making himself harder, so he let himself go, bringing his eyes back up to Sarah's neck and back.

'She's just so hot,' he thought to himself. 'That's why I can't help myself around her.' He stood there for a few more minutes, watching her read, and scribble notes, and shift her papers. It was mesmerizing...and pretty soon, he couldn't bear it any longer. He needed her to know he was there. Gingerly, cautiously, almost like a child about to wake up his parents on a Saturday morning, Jeff approached her on his crutches, until he was literally at her elbow. Her head rose up several inches above his own. Her face was illuminated by her laptop screen, and she was typing away at her keyboard, barely visible beneath the mass of papers and scribbled notes on her desk. She still hadn't seen him. He could feel the heat coming off her hips and thighs. He reached over and tapped her upper sweatshirt, where her the shape of her arm was just barely visible.

She gave no indication that she had noticed him. He tried again, with the same reaction.

"H-hi Sarah," he said out loud, surprising himself with his courage. But she didn't hear him.

'Of course,' he thought, 'she can't hear me because she has her headphones in. Duh!' He chastised himself inwardly for his silliness. He remained next to her, standing stupidly. He still needed to get her attention. But how? Once again he felt the heat rising up from Sarah's thighs. He looked down at them. She filled her chair completely, and it wasn't a tiny chair, either — it was one of those large, plush, industrially-made office chairs that could go up and down and lean itself way back. And still, Sarah's ass, hips, and thighs were more than enough to fill it. Jeff's mouth watered a bit as he looked at her thighs, big, juicy, meaty pillars that strained through her tight white yoga pants.

He reached out his hand, which trembled a bit, and touched Sarah's right thigh with his finger. She shifted her upper body as she reached to her left for a paper that was covered in graphs, still typing away with her right hand. Jeff took his finger off her thigh and touched it again, this time actually pressing into her flesh. It felt like he was trying to press into a block of wood that was covered with a thick rubber coating. Her flesh barely gave way. He pressed harder, harder, until he was actually breathing hard from exertion. Still no reaction. He was getting more and more desperate...was she ignoring him? It couldn't be — she was just so concentrated on her work. Gathering up his courage, Jeff reached out his hand and brought it down on Sarah's thigh with a desperate slap.

She turned her head and saw him. Jeff immediately staggered back a few paces, shocked by the sudden full-on view of her face. Her eyebrows went up and she smiled, lifting the headphones up off one of her ears.

"Oh, hi Jeff!" she said happily, "Did you get some good rest? I know I tired you out there a little bit, huh?" She cracked a wide toothy smile at him.

"Y-yeah, yeah I got some rest," he said.

"Good, good!" said Sarah. She sat there looking at him for a few moments, her eyes going up and down his body. Jeff felt suddenly exposed and embarrassed — he was rock hard again.

"Well," said Sarah after a few more moments, bringing her hand back up to her headphones, "I'm just doing some work here, Jeff, so...I'm gonna keep doing that, but please, make yourself at home!" She turned to put her headphones back on. Jeff started in horror...was that it?! Was that the only reaction she was going to give him?!

"Oh," she said, catching herself, "and you can go into my bedroom and rummage around in the drawers for some clothes or something. I don't want you to get cold!" She paused, and then she smiled, with a bit of mischief in her eyes. "If you try the bottom left drawer, I think you'll find some of my old clothes from when I was a teenager — those might fit you."

"B-but —" Jeff stuttered, not even appreciating the full humiliation of what she had just told him. He wasn't ready for their interaction to end.

Sarah laughed. "I'm just teasing you, Jeff!" She allowed a few more moments to pass as her eyes danced across his nude body. "But seriously, though," she added, "all jokes aside, those are the only clothes I have that might fit you." She kept looking him up and down. "Might."

Jeff suddenly remembered the satchel his mother had brought him earlier that day. This memory felt like something of a triumph. "But —" he said, with perhaps more energy than he had intended, "—but, my mom dropped off my satchel earlier today. I think it has some of my clothes in it. I can just wear —"

"It doesn't," cut in Sarah.

"What?"

"She didn't bring you any clothes. I told her I had clothes that you could wear."

"B-but," said Jeff, not understanding, "but she doesn't...she couldn't, uh, t-think that y-your clothes, uh..."

"Could fit you?" suggested Sarah, raising her eyebrows in pleasure. "Remember, Jeff, we only spoke on the phone. Your mom doesn't know —" and here Sarah paused for delicious effect, "—what I look like." Jeff stood there dumbly. It was incredible. His mom had no idea...no idea that Sarah had become so...so huge.

Sarah let a few more moments pass, enjoying them like candy. But she had work to do.

"Bottom left drawer, ok?" she said, reaching up again to put her headphone back on.

"B-but!" whined Jeff. He couldn't bear to be cut off from her.

"Not now Jeff," said Sarah kindly, smiling, but with a firmness in her voice, "playtime's over for now, ok?" She looked sympathetically at his hard cock, and then back at his face, her eyebrows turned up at the inside corners in pity. "We can play some more sometime soon, ok?"

"B-but," said Jeff again pathetically, "w-when can we, uh —"

"Soon, ok, Jeff?" said Sarah, the firmness a bit more pronounced in her voice. "I really need to get this work done tonight, ok? You can watch some Netflix on TV or something, all right?" She began to put her headphone back on. "But Jeff — actually, yeah, please put some clothes on. I would really hate for you to catch a cold a few days before your surgery. Let me know if you need anything, ok?"

"O-ok."

She smiled at him warmly and then turned away, putting her headphone back on. And just like that, Jeff was cut off from her. He stood there for a few more moments, pining after her. It took another glance from her and a shooing gesture from her hand that said "go on now, get along!" that made him reluctantly turn himself away.

He crutched himself toward her room. It took a titanic effort to pull himself out of the fast-deepening quagmire of desperate depression that was beginning to take hold. His feelings, as always, were more complicated than he realized. On the surface he was simply sad that Sarah had turned him away, that she had other things to do besides giving him attention. But beneath his external emotions lurked a rawer and more desperate hopelessness — he knew, somewhere in his brain that he could not regularly access, that he had no power and was helpless to defend himself against Sarah. This fact turned him on, but it also terrified him, and the competing contrasts tugging at the strands of his subconscious made him feel weak and defeated.

But as always Jeff's mind retreated into its own fantasies in defense, and it worked.

'Of course she needs her time!' he told himself, entering her room, 'She's a go-getter — she's gonna make it in this world.' He spotted her large chest of drawers to the left, directly under the large mirror it was attached to. 'And that's what you gotta do to make it,' he continued, limping over to he bottom left drawer on his crutches. 'You gotta work when you'd rather be playing.' Somehow, Jeff had convinced himself that by putting on some of Sarah's clothes, he was doing work as well. In truth, it only felt like work to him because he was subconsciously engaged in an internal battle: on one hand, he felt utterly ashamed and humiliated that he was going to be trying on Sarah's old clothes from when she was a teenager. On the other hand, this very shame and humiliation thrilled him, as did the prospect of seeing how his tiny body fit into clothes that Sarah had long outgrown. As he dropped the crutches and knelt down to open the drawer, his body was tingling with excitement; his fingers and toes felt pricked by pins and needles as the heat of his fast-rushing blood flushed through his face and neck.

There were three neat stacks of clothes in the drawer. The first looked like shirts, the second was pants, and the third, a little more disorganized, looked like a jumble of socks and...underwear. Jeff's heart skipped a beat — he couldn't believe his luck. His trembling hands shot out to the underwear, but then he drew himself back.

'Wait, wait,' he told himself, taking deep breaths, 'be patient Jeff...be patient...start slow.' His hands drifted over the pants to the shirts. That seemed like a good place to start. He caught his breath and was able to steady himself. This apparent act of self control felt like work enough to make Jeff proud of himself.

The top shirt was grey and splayed across with blocky blue letters. Jeff threaded this fingers through the neckline...the fabric felt pleasantly cool to the touch. Then he lifted the shirt up. It fell out to its full length in the air as he lifted, and Jeff immediately saw that this shirt was way too big for him. Holding it up face-hight, it dropped down, down, falling nearly all the way to his knees. Had Sarah actually worn this shirt?? Was she just fucking with him.