The (un)Lucky Girl

"... Did the doctors tell you anything about how much time you have?" Marcellus eventually broke the silence.

Selena shook her head, staring down into her cup. "I don't want to think about that," she mumbled. "They want me to have surgery. Two weeks from now." She took a deep breath and cast her eyes upwards towards the ceiling light. "About a 35% chance of survival, I think they said. Around one in three."

Marcellus gulped hard. "That's not so bad," he tried, though his words didn't sound overly reassuring.

"I'm never lucky," she began, shaking her head slightly. "I won't make it." She took a sip of the tea, then froze - and turned to stare right at Marcellus. "Although.. I was really lucky that you came walking right when you did.." Her gaze wandered all over him, as if searching for answers that he didn't quite have.

The young man shifted in his seat, leaning back against the corduroy couch as he scratched the back of his neck. "... I suppose so. I was only there because I missed my bus, you know? Maybe the universe is looking out for you."

She moved closer to him, her eyes half-lidded as she looked up at him. "No, not the universe," Selena said, putting one of her hands against his upper chest, right where his heart was. He felt the warmth from her palm seep through the fabric of his shirt, and it took a lot of effort for him to not break eye contact. "It was you.." she whispered, "You were looking out for me."

Before he even had time to comprehend what was happening, Marcellus felt Selena's lips press against his - and his first instinct was to flinch, before he allowed himself to relax. Her eyes closed as she leaned into him, placing her hands on each side of his face, running her fingers through his hair. Marcellus' heart sent little lightning bolts zapping through his ribcage as their lips pressed together. The kiss was sweet, lemony, but it was over much too soon.

"... Do you have a girlfriend?" There was visible worry and concern behind her words.

"No.. No I don't," Marcellus mumbled - his mind trying to process everything that was happening.

Her lips curled into a soft smile, before she leaned against his upper body. "I've always liked men with longer hair." Her voice was full of seduction. "And you smell good too," she giggled quietly. "... I can't believe you jumped in after me.." Selena mused. "Why would you do that?"

Marcellus hesitated, unsure of how to explain himself. "I... It wasn't a conscious decision. I didn't think. My mind went blank, and it just felt like the right thing to do." He cleared his throat, feeling a little awkward. "You don't owe me anything. I hope you know that."

Selena shook her head, her hair half-drying into ringlets, as she pondered her words carefully. "Perhaps I don't. But I'm still thankful," she said quietly. "And.. And you make me feel safe. I can't remember the last time I felt this way." Selena smiled warmly as she gazed up at Marcellus, her eyelashes fluttering, and she stared at his lips.

"Listen.." Marcellus began, "I'd be happy to get to know you better. But we shouldn't rush into any- "

She cut him off with a soft 'schhh', then moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue. "Please let me sleep in your bed tonight," she said, her tone pleading. "I promise I'll behave. I just want to be near you. I know I'm acting a little.. Odd, but it's because you make me feel special." She looked away for a moment. "And I don't have the time to be shy. Every hour, I get closer to the end. So just give me a chance, okay?"

"... Okay," he relented, not really knowing why. "Let's go to bed then. Let me see if I can find a toothbrush for you."

Five minutes later, he was turning off all of the lights in the apartment, except the small one by the front door - Selena waiting patiently for him in the hallway, leaning against the wall. He could see her nipples poke through the fabric of the t-shirt. As they walked towards the bedroom, Selena held onto his arm - her eyes looking at him with so much adoration. The young man was a tad conflicted, because they had already been through a lot. He already felt a deep sense of responsibility toward the girl; a young woman whom clearly was suffering on the inside.

The bedroom itself was sparsely furnished, save for the queen-sized bed that sat upon the floor. His walls were decorated with framed photographs, and his windows looked out over an inner courtyard - a large oak tree, every branch covered with white snow. It looked beautiful, though he was glad they were inside in the warm, cosy room. He had experienced enough cold for a lifetime already. The cell-phone that had been in his pocket had miraculously survived the water's fury, which baffled him in the best of ways, so he set his alarm for the following morning.

Selena approached the bed, and giggled softly. "Why are guys allergic to bed frames?" She turned around to face him, her hands on her hips as she tilted her head to the side slightly. "Is it some kind of subconscious rejection of conformity or something?" She began to crawl up onto the mattress, the t-shirt hiking up again, then looked back at him expectantly - like an innocent kitten asking for food. She stared at him as he removed his clothes, leaving only his underwear on - his half-hard cock making an outline against the fabric of his boxer briefs.

They crawled under the covers together, their gazes locked onto each other in the dimly lit room, and Selena curled up against him as soon as he had found a comfortable position - their bodies intertwined. Marcellus sighed softly, his heart racing as she pressed herself against him. Her body was warm and soft - though she was clearly fatigued from the tumultuous day. "We'll just cuddle, okay?" she said in a soft voice. "Just let me stay like this?"

"That's fine, Selena." He pulled the covers tighter around them as they laid together - her head resting on his chest. His arm wrapped around her upper body protectively, meanwhile she caressed his thigh with her fingertips. The two of them lay there, enjoying the peace, their breathing slow and steady. It felt strange to be in bed with a stranger, and the mood wasn't particularly sexual. It felt too serious. "... So tell me," he began, "What happened with your family? And how long have you been seeing doctors for?" It seemed like there was still so many unanswered questions about her.

Selena took a deep breath, then sighed softly. "My parents? Junkies," she said, "I could never rely on them for anything." She kept running her fingers over his leg as if it was the most relaxing activity in the world - her body seeming to melt into his side, the warmth of her feminine form pressed against him, her damp hair tickling the skin of his arm.

Marcellus hummed. "Do you have any other family? Or close friends?" he asked.

"No," she mumbled. "I don't go outside much. I don't.. I don't work anymore. I'm on benefits. Because of my health, you know?" she elaborated. "Everyone else has something to do while I sit at home alone all day." She laughed bitterly, her shoulders visibly slumping as she seemed to be admitting something deep inside - something she had probably never even admitted to herself before now. "But if I'm honest, I.. I never really had an exciting life, even before I got diagnosed, and the reality of it hits me hard some days. I'm a complete shut-in. Even completed college taking online courses. Being alone with your thoughts everyday is.. Not good for someone who wants to take their own life."

Marcellus gulped, unsure of how to respond to her revelation. "You don't.." He paused, changing his way to approach the situation. "Are you feeling suicidal right now?" he asked cautiously, his voice gentle and free from judgement. He wanted to offer comfort, but knew nothing he could say or do would actually solve her issues.

"Right now? No," Selena admitted softly, and placed a soft kiss upon his chest. "I've never thought of actually going through with it before. It was always just a dark fantasy. But I'm terrified of the surgery. I don't dare to feel any hope that my life might turn around for the better, because.." She stopped speaking mid-sentence, as she hid her face against his chest and held onto him even tighter.

Marcellus couldn't help but to sigh sadly - it felt like he was being sucked into her pain. "I used to be incredibly depressed," he whispered. "And whilst I still feel down a lot, I can honestly say that life has gotten better." He kissed the top of Selena's head, caressing her hair gently. "I believe things can always improve. I really do."

"It's so hard though," Selena mumbled. "How did you cope?"

Marcellus thought for a few moments, gently stroking her back the entire time. "Honestly? I felt like I had so little to live for that I had nothing to lose. So I acted bolder. Fearless. I did things that scared me. And I don't mean chasing adrenaline - I mean.. Things like talking to girls, or traveling all by myself, or putting myself out there. With nothing holding me back, the world was my oyster. I lived my days to the fullest - not every day, because the depression was still weighing me down, but every chance I could find and every sliver of motivation within myself I came across, I fully embraced. It changed me. Made me stronger."

"... Sounds hard," she murmured.

"It was. It still is, sometimes. But it was worth it. Now, whenever I have a bad day and feel down, at least I know that brighter moments wait beyond the horizon. The snow will melt, and summer will come again. And I want to be there to experience it."

Selena crawled directly on top of him, sitting with her legs on either side of his waist as she sat upright - looking down upon him. "I'm having my surgery on the 21st, a few days before Christmas. If I survive, will you get me a gift?" she asked. The question felt rather morbid, but she looked at him with big puppy eyes.

Marcellus raised one hand up to caress her cheek, before pulling her down against him in a hug, feeling the tears forming in his own eyes as he held the poor girl. He knew what it was like to be lost in depression. "Of course." he said - keeping his voice steady. "Do you have a wish-list?"

Selena nuzzled against the side of his neck, her warm breath tickling his skin. "... I didn't" she admitted quietly. "But now I do." She kissed him again - their second kiss, and this one seemed sweeter, more loving. "I want you," she said against his lips.

"... Me?" Marcellus asked in surprise as their lips parted, raising his eyebrows as he met her gaze.

She looked incredibly vulnerable. "... Or, if I can't have that, then at least your friendship?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. She bit her bottom lip, then placed her palm on his cheek, holding his face in place. Her gaze wandered over his features, as if trying to etch them all into her memory.

"Of course," Marcellus agreed - not sure what else he could possibly say in that situation. "I will be there for you."

She gave him her widest smile yet, and leaned down to kiss his chest again. "Thank you so much. I.. Uhm.. You've already done so much for me." She nuzzled against his chest. "I'm starting to think that I might be a lucky girl after all."

--- 2 ---

When the alarm started blaring, Marcellus was quick to silence it. Selena was still curled up against him, a tranquil look on her face. He wondered how deep she was asleep, as he hadn't heard any stirring yet. His fingers played through her soft, black locks of hair as he sat there, thinking about the previous night. It still felt surreal to him. As carefully as he could, he got out of bed - and noticed she had kicked off enough of her covers that her entire butt was on full display, her borrowed t-shirt hiked up all the way to the top of her lower back. And yet again, her oh-so-inviting pussy was laid bare before his eyes. It took everything Marcellus had in him to not bend over and stare at her plump cheeks - his own morning wood standing tall and proud in his underwear, like a soldier ready for battle. But instead, he started getting dressed.

"Where are you going?" Selena said a minute or so later, without opening her eyes, or making any attempt at covering herself up. Her morning voice was incredibly husky - raw, like the words were dragged from her throat. It felt rather erotic.

"I've got to go to work," Marcellus said quietly. "But you need your rest. Go back to sleep. I'll leave a spare key on the kitchen table for you - lock up when you leave later, okay? And just throw the key back inside through the mail slot in the door."

She didn't respond, simply humming in acknowledgement.

"Don't do anything stupid, okay?" he insisted, and after only the briefest hesitation, he walked over to her and leaned down to place a chaste kiss against her cheek. "Sweet dreams."

Selena's mouth curled into an innocent-looking smile, and she wrapped herself up in the sheets as Marcellus made his way out of the room. After doing his quick morning routine, he went to check on his coat - still more than a little damp from yesterday's foolhardy plummet into the near-freezing water. With a sigh, he went out the door in only his suit, shivering as soon as the biting wind hit him. The snow ploughs were still at work, and it was pitch black outside. Sweden didn't get more than a couple of hours of daytime during the winter season.

At least it was fairly empty on the bus, and he was grateful for that. His mind was stuck on Selena. He couldn't even begin to understand what had possessed him to jump off of a bridge in the dead of winter, after a stranger that had just admitted she had a brain tumour, but now he felt that he was somehow deeply involved with this young woman - so fragile and alone. It weighed heavy on his mind, but there was little to do about it now. He'd stay by her side until the surgery, he promised himself - and hopefully help her turn her life around.

He spent the whole day at the office, in meetings and telephone calls - barely making it through the day. Marcellus felt like a zombie, having had less sleep than he was used to, and he kept chugging coffee as if it were the only thing keeping him sane. Despite his exhaustion, his mind would wander to Selena more times than he dared to count - worrying for her safety, and hoping that she wouldn't try to hurt herself again now that he was no longer around to stop her. That fear tormented him from within, even though he knew he shouldn't blame himself for her actions. He couldn't help it.

Marcellus got home quite early that evening, in dire need of a shower, but he collapsed into bed with a heavy sigh - still fully dressed, after picking up the spare key from the floor and reading the note that she had left for him. It had her phone number on it, and simply said 'Thank you for saving my life'. The bed sheets still had her scent, and it strangely comforting. Exhausted, the young man closed his eyes, falling into a deep slumber.

He was jolted awake some time later by a knock on the front door. Glancing at his clock, he noticed it was past ten at night, and grunted to himself - his brain having an inner battle if he should get up or just close his eyes again. But there was a second knock, harder than the first, and he stood up with a sigh, rubbed his eyes, dragging his tired body out of the bedroom.

Marcellus opened the front door - and to his surprise, Selena was standing there, her cheeks covered in tears. Her hair had been done up into two braids that hung down the side of her face, sprinkled with freshly fallen snow, and she was wearing a bit of make-up now. A backpack was flung over her shoulder, and she wore a fragrance of raspberries and honey.

"W-Why haven't you called me!?" she cried, "You didn't text or anything!" The girl threw herself into his arms before Marcellus could say anything. She was trembling. He sighed and embraced her, looking down at her with a concerned frown on his face.

"I fell asleep when I got home from work," he answered truthfully. "Are you okay?"

Selena sobbed loudly, pushing herself tighter against him. "I've been sitting at home for over an hour trying to work up the courage to come over here!" She nuzzled up against the side of his neck as if looking for comfort. "I don't have your phone number, you know!? A-And I just.. I am sorry for being so clingy but I really needed to see you.." she rambled. "I just need to be held, please.." Her sobs only seemed to intensify. "Please don't leave me alone."

"... Hey now," Marcellus soothed her. "It's okay." He invited her inside, took Selena's coat, and the bag off of her shoulder, and led her over to the couch. As he sat down, she quickly got onto his lap. She curled up against him as he wrapped his arms around her tightly, rocking her back and forth and gently stroking her hair. He didn't know what else to do.

"You are all I have," Selena mumbled. "You're the only one who cares about me." Her hands were gripping onto the fabric of his blazer, as if trying to pull herself closer.

Marcellus felt his heart breaking at that moment, and he couldn't help but to plant a kiss against the top of her head, holding onto her as if she was both fragile yet physically needed to feel his presence tightly all at once. She was crying like a child, sobbing loudly as her whole body shook - it hurt to see her so shattered. Her mental fortitude was cracked, crumbling down on her.

"You're always welcome here" Marcellus said quietly - feeling a little bit peculiar about it, considering they hadn't even known each other for 24 hours. He knew next to nothing about the girl; only that she was suffering immensely, and he had come across her at a time of dire need.

The girl sniffled, holding onto him tightly. "I've been having panic attacks all day," she admitted. "At first I thought about staying here in your apartment until you came home, but I didn't want you to get mad at me, because that's, like.. Super creepy. Right? So I went home, and I just sat on my bed and stared out of the window for an hour.." She wiped her tears away on the sleeve of the yellow hoodie she was wearing. It looked a size too big, and seemed very comfy.

Marcellus interrupted her rambling with a gentle hand on her shoulder, rubbing it soothingly. "It's okay, Selena, breathe. Have you tried talking to a professional about this?" he inquired, and she pouted in response.

"I'm dying in two weeks. I don't think working on my mental health is going to accomplish much in so little time." Her bottom lip quivered, but she wiped her eyes with the sleeve again and looked up at Marcellus with a weak smile.

"You'll make it," Marcellus insisted - hoping that his words would prove true.

"... Probably won't," she responded - sounding almost as if she'd come to terms with it already. "But I want my last days to be good. Not just.. Sitting there, alone in my room, waiting to die."

"That.. Makes sense. What are the things you want to experience the most?" Somehow Marcellus could easily relate to her thought process. When he, himself, had been at the bottom of the dark pits of his mind, that had been part of his solution. To make each day count. To chase meaningful moments.

Selena sat up, straddling him, looking him deep into his eyes. Hers were sad but with a glimmer of hope. She took both of his hands in hers and held them up in the air, before placing one on her cheek and the other on her lower back. "I want to feel," she said, leaning close enough that their lips were almost touching, and their hot breath mingled. "... Like this," she added, and pressed her soft, rosy lips against his. The kiss was chaste. Over in a blink.

"... And I have three things I want to do," she continued - Marcellus just staring at her, the moment feeling more intimate than the kiss had been somehow. "I want to tell my parents that even though part of me hates them, I forgive them. I want to pet a Scottish Highland cow, preferably a baby. They're my favourite animal. And.." she paused, her cheeks turning red not just from the tears and cold outside, but from embarrassment. "I want to sleep with you. Lose my virginity."