All Comments on 'The Undervalued Asset'

the switch from Julie to Shelly was distracting.

I thought I fixed that, thanks for pointing it out. Going to edit it now.

Learn the proper slang for this kind of story. The use of "come" when referring to an orgasm is totally wrong and should be "cum" which also applies to semen, as any grade school kid over the age of 8 knows.

Lots of possibilities from here for these 2 (or 3). I didn't care about what version of "cum/come" you use, it's all the same in the end. Keep 'em cumming!

For crap sake, man. Either get an editor (I can help) or at least read it carefully! There are many cases of the wrong word used and extra words in a sentence. The name confusion could be avoided by using "she" everywhere the name would be. There is only one woman in the story and it's actually easier to read with the pronoun rather than the name.

There are some good parts to the story, however. Thanks for your effort.

lol i can see why larry became editor on future stories! um i enjoyed that and i wont say im super experienced or super confident but i do like virgins, they exhibit raw passion and eagerness that some more experienced guys have lost and THAT is a turn on that i can get off on