All Comments on 'The Unicorn'

Thank you 5 stars of course - I enjoyed it.

Almost all (maybe all?) your stories are excellent. I'm actually irritated when some of your tales are not rated higher than they are.

Now I know there is at least one story with a happy ending for the husband in this event.

Not often we have a genuine 5* tearjerker on Literotica, but this is one of them.

Well done.

I love your work each separate story in this is excellent and compelling. I wish that you had shorter flashbacks as it detracts from the time we leave and you have to reset an already ongoing scene. The flashbacks are well realised and important to the story but they often add something that characters have known for years but only react to after they are finished.

To take this post, start with her smooth skin on the 30th anniversary, edit it to an almost chronological timeline with things that are happening at the same time told mixed together rather than in seperate flashbacks (being friends with benififits with her friend at the same time as she's the grand marshal of the parade for example or dealing with break ins while growing in popularity) it would be a sharper story, more fluent and give deeper insight into the characters.

Revealing that he knew about her ex's vasectomy recontextualised the whole thing. He decided at every point of their relationship that he valued his friend more than being honest with her but we see no struggle for him with this. Did it bother him? Does he even care? We don't know. It's not shown in the story. But having the background of that decision earlier, their shared history and life growing from meeting to wedding makes the jump ahead more impactful.

Keep on writing, I love your stuff.

Why on earth would he get a year's probation for saving his wife from being raped? Why should he end up with any conviction at all?

I really enjoyed the story until that.

A cracking read.

GREAT.

That’s all I got to say.

5-stars & Favorite

...but honestly I don’t think it’s the best story for the event. It’s overall the best generally but I really think this is a romance story not LW.

That was very enjoyable and you really tugged at the heart strings with the hospital visits.

The bit at the end with the date rape drug and Jaime charging in to rescue her seemed a little far-fetched though. Why would Jen confront the men that had drugged and tried to rape her? It was just asking for trouble... or in this case, just a plot excuse to have her fiancé fight to protect her. Other than that, it was a great story!

A truly and wholesome story of a loving woman and the husband who deserved her, not the sink of anger and bitterness that so many of the stories in this category descend to. Thank you for a lovely, satisfying, romantic tale of love and the rewards it brings.

Please don't write a dark story.

This one made my day

Another wonderful story. Thank you.

That was incredible. You're a rotten SOB for making me cry over Julie's funeral (she deserved to be mourned and I'm proud to mourn such a sweet and brave girl), but that was an absolutely beautiful story. You've always had great, believable characters, but you seem to get better with every story.

Thank you.

Superb writing once again QHML. This isn't the first time you have made my eyes swet. You spun a good yearn and let me suspend belief and become engrossed. Nice work, thank you for sharing it

You are still the best. Thank you . Gramps 52

Jen and Jaime were both very easy to like, almost candidates for sainthood. I was occasionally confused by scene changes that were not always identified as to time and/or place. Use of the wrong name sometimes did not help either. Then there were the unidentified pronouns; more than once it was unclear to whom the "she/he'' used referred. All in all, I liked it, but it was work to puzzle out the intended meaning.

A masterpiece, I loved it.

I shed tears, I laughed, I eagerly read, and came away most satisfied. You are an extremely talented writer with great creativity and balance in you work 5+++. Stay the course

One of the most touching stories I’ve ever read ... beautiful characterisation and beautifully written ... loved the story of the wee lass in the middle ... o man how I cried through that whole part .... keep up the good work your brilliant

That story was absolutely brilliant! Keep up the good work.

The middle part of this story is about as strong as any on the site. Could have done without the attempted rape at the end, but it is what it is. They should have named their son Steve, though - would have been poetic to have a son raised properly with his friend's name. Five stars ain't enuf.

... and love meant everything. Really liked it.

I made you a favorite for a reason. Great plot, great characters. Old guys do cry at touching stories. I hope the stories I've started to publish reach your standards.

You're the best!!!! I absolutely love the stories you write. Wish you'd write more.

Thank you for this story.

A beautiful story that tugs at the heart.

I enjoy everything of yours that I encounter, and this is clearly one of the best.

The visit to the hospital and that series of events is moving -- and I don't like to be moved in general, and certainly don't come to Literotica expecting that sort of emotional shaking.

Thanks for sharing your gifts, and encouraging others to do the same. It is a fine series.

The little girl’s funeral was unexpectedly touching

You spellbound me with this one, you had me in tears with the hospital and funeral scenes - I actually had to stop reading a few times for tissues. This was definitely one of your best that I have read, and honestly wish I could give bonus stars - 5 just isn't enough for this one.

The characters were likeable and engaging, seeming real enough to envision and hear. The settings were familiar and memorable, while not being overly verbose in description.

All in all - well done and thank you for your tale.

5/5 (+ karmic bonuses)

The rich and the famous(not from california) are like everyone else. Spent an afternoon with an olympic champion who was hired by our company to sign autographs. One of the nicest people ive ever met. She was treated by the autograph hunters like a thing. She signed for 4 hours straight. Amazing girl. If I was 25 years younger......but I got a kiss for telling her jokes all day. She needed to laugh and have fun. I did my best. Great story 5

Nuff said.

Thanks for another wonderful story.

I thoroughly enjoyed the story, Good job. A little surprising that Jen, at her level of modeling, didn't hire at least a single Personal Bodyguard while in NYC. I know, it would have ruined your plot!

This story is as good as all your stories....

Always a nice surprise when you post a new story, a bit of everything included in your stories!!

Thanks, JACSR

A unique story, much enjoyed. Thank you.

You write sick kids, loss and redemption as welll as anyone.

the pick of the litter for the contest. A bit too sentimental, but very well done. 5

Specfuckingtacular. Reminds of the first line of the chorus in "The Ride".

A thoroughly enjoyable read!!!!

A very nicely written story. enjoyed reading it till the end.

What was LW about this, and what did it have to do with the contest? I can’t see how this fits any parameters laid down. When did she abuse her power?

Maybe romance?

Another amazing story by Q and we thank you for it.

As always we appreciate you taking the time to share your wonderful skill with us on Lit for free.

Thank you!

C

To the commenter who says he has "Midwest Values":

When did a rude and ignorant comment about another state become something of "Value"?

Almost my entire career was blue collar, yet my 5 rich and famous friends, and almost all my rich and famous customers from La Jolla, Rancho SF, and Pt Loma, treated me with respect and consideration.

If your personal experience was different, I feel bad for you. If you were just repeating an impression you got from the media your impression is broadly inaccurate. Even LA, often assumed to be the douche capital of CA, had mostly OK rich and famous peeps

A very good story. I too got a bit emotional with the young cancer patient's death.

One minor nitpick though: I think you might have mixed the names "Jack" and "Bob" with the rape attempt though...

you got me hooked with this story, i couldnt stop reading! Very lovable characters and great buildup.

You actually had me shed some tears over the little girl, very touching.

negative things for me were the pace in the end. it seemed rushed and somehow impatient to end the tale after the sex scene. Which btw you could have spend a looot more time with :) I would have liked to see way more detail there. sweet romance doesnt contradict steamy sex does it? ;)

But all in all a very good read, thank you!

This is a great story! Nuff said!

that's the kind of story, I believe, many readers here are looking for. Entertainment at it's best. Congratulations

I really enjoyed the story although I agree with other comments that I’m not sure how well it fits the collaboration theme. Other than that it was fun and had plenty of heartfelt moments. The relationship between Jen and Chris? (I think it was Chris as I don’t recall how many time his name was mentioned) evolved a little slow. Seems like everyone could see where the relationship was going, yet the actual progression was quite slow.

I’m sure it’s nearly impossible to edit after posted, but I do have one comment about a section within the story. There should probably be some better clarification in the following excerpt:

“That left Eric and Jack's youngest daughter Melanie. You could hear them arguing over the water a few times and we looked at each other and sighed. Eric was divorced and Mel had broken up with her long-time boyfriend two months before the wedding. He was pissed because he had to sign a prenup specifying he could never touch any inheritances she might receive, and took it out by screwing her best friend.”

When I initially read this I thought it was Eric who was pissed about a prenup and then slept with the best friend. The following paragraph clarified the situation as Eric and Mel’s relationship quickly takes off and leads to a marriage in which a prenup was deemed unnecessary, but for a moment I was really confused as to why Eric would have done something so heinous and why Mel would consider continuing a relationship with him. I think it was the initial “hear them arguing”, followed by some background info, and then the “screwing her best friend” comment that I just missed the fact that you were referring to her previous relationship and not the new couple who were currently involved in an argument.

Other than that one tidbit, I found this an entertaining story and always appreciate your work.

Great read!! Thank you.

There are certain stories and authors you read in the LW section that afterwards you feel refreshed, light, have a positive attitude about humanity in general. And some authors after reading their work you feel dirty, bitter, soiled.

A little less fluff I think would have made the story stronger. For example, the cancer girl story was extremely touching and beautifully, but Jen single handedly getting the fire departments the expensive gear they needed (yes through fundraising, but still) all over the country was too much. It made what was touching and beautiful to start approaching a bit nauseating.

Hard to be critical about a lovely story. Just an honest two cents about what would have made the story stronger for me.

I couldn't agree more with your statement. I live in South OC, so very familiar with La Jolla and the area. I'm very much surrounded by very wealthy people. On top of that I was in the investment business and my clients were mostly very wealthy people including some billionaires.

I will recount what I used to tell my nephews and nieces. Generally speaking rich people are nicer than the general public. Because they can afford to be. If you don't have money stress, you're doing what you love, your life is going along well you're much more apt to be kind, giving and generous. Plus people do business with people they like and a great deal of the reason why someone is successful is because they are likable and trustworthy in the first place. And last rich people tend to be highly educated and intelligent, and those type of people are much more likely to be tolerant and open-minded. The media and Hollywood love to paint the rich badly, because I guess class struggle and envy sells.

I felt like I needed to stand up for the last minority that is still acceptable to pound on!

Your story of love and happiness was very touching, brought tears to my eyes! Keep up the great work!

Literary expert...having said that, this is an incredible tale...right there with (in my opinion) the best. By the way, is Len short for Leon?

Made me smile.

My only complaint about this series of stories is that there are too many longer stories to read in a day. I wish the release had been over a two or three day period. It will take me that long to read them all.

Congratulations

Boyd Percy

Like some other fans, I was waiting for the LW crisis to rise up and smite the loving couple, but the rape scene was as close as the story got. I was fearing that it was going to be something related to her tendency to disappear when stressed out, so thanks for not taking this one to the dark side.

As always, thanks for another great read!

You should be proud of this story

thanks for the story

You made this old man cry more than once. You've long been one of my favorites on here, but the improvement in your writing is striking.

Well crafted. Well written. Balanced and flowed well. As with a number of your other pieces, I know I will return to this one again and again.

BTW, you were one of Dad's favorites, too. I wish he could have read this.

The fantasy of most males, to marry a rich model.............

Fantastic, great read. It was well thought out, well researched and the plot developed at a nice pace.

5*

Yes, you wrote another very good and entertaining story again. If your not a professional writer, you should be. This story covered just about all the emotions in 1 story. Thank you for ANOTHER great story.

You write a great tale, the characters feel real and their actions ring true. You can be a bit sentimental but hey it made it better. Keep up the great work.

I have had a love for reading every since i picked up a Don Pendelton action book many many years ago. I am so happy to have found this site several years ago. I have gotten many many hrs of reading enjoyment. You are in my favorites and have enjoyed all ur stories. Thanks so much for another excellent read

Thanks for the effort.

Almost without fail your writing is top notch. Thank you for an enjoyable read

I normally go for the BTB stories. Romance simply comes off as fake to me, and realistic romance is boring to read about. Then I read a story like this … and I am blown away. This is what reading is for.

I generally like stories by this author, but I feel this one fell short of the mark. Oh, it was a nice enough story in its own right - but what I've come to term as linear stories. It goes from start to finish with no twists or turns, no climatic events, no dramatic incidents for a plot to turn on. A bit like the Last Chimes of Fall or A Little Bit of Death - both in the hall of fame. And I notice Unicorn has made it to the hall of fame also. I'd characterize these stories as modern day versions of Silas Marner - adult fairy tales.

I'm not sure what the parameters were for this invitation, but I'm sure implicitly there was the expectation of some conflict due to the power imbalance, except portrayed in the framework of the power balance being in favour of the female. The fact that there is no conflict in this story means (IMHO) that it missed the mark.

Also, I think the title is misleading. There is nothing unicorn about either of the 2 main protagonists. There is no reason why 2 perfectly reasonable people should not be able to get along well if they have similar moral and philosophical viewpoints. This is just the story of 2 people meet and marry; one happens to be well-off.

"Mary came twice more before I finally unloaded." - Mary? Her name was Sandy.

"I wondered about the honey comment but let it go." - God, is he dense!

"I had to listen to a twenty minute conversation in French" - It may seem like a small thing, but when three people are together, it's rude for two to have an extended conversation in a language that the third doesn't understand.

Please don't call Janice "Jan," it's too easy to confuse with Jen!

"I was pretty sure if we lived together as a couple, cracks would start to appear, and I couldn't get over her history of just disappearing if things got stressed." - She's shown him over and over that she doesn't give a shit about material things, and her disappearing wasn't due to simple stress, but real tragedies.

"It wouldn't have worked, because I remembered how paranoid he was about precautions while we dated." - Why wouldn't it have worked? He could have said that he didn't know he was "shooting blanks" when they dated.

He was her husband's best friend, and she didn't know he had a girlfriend? He never brought her to dinners or parties?

So, it doesn't bother him that his girlfriend made more than him? I know Jen is degrees of magnitude higher, but the principle is the same.

"she didn't like what I did" - There's a key difference. Angie is ashamed of what he does, Jen isn't.

"It was eight weeks before I saw her again." - Maybe she doesn't realize it, but she's validating his fears.

Time line is confusing. Sarah was GOING to send him pictures, then Jen is gushing over them? Then I realized that the part about giving her the rocker was BEFORE he brought the rockers to the nursery, way back when he was working on the rocker with Jen.

"We didn't play because she wanted to go to church in the morning" - You can't play Saturday night and still go to church on Sunday?

When his mother first showed up I got the impression that there were some issues, but none appeared.

"With her helping, we could get out almost two rockers a week." - Weren't they already doing four?

Another confusing time line - They're at their 30th anniversary, then fast-forwarding 26 years, It took me a few moments to realize we were flashing-back.

Could have left out the semi-self-reference to writing on an erotic story site.

Despite my issues, still five stars.

There's already enough of that.

Well... yes, a 'loving wife', in the literal sense. Really, a better fit in 'romance'.

So it's a fairytale, Who cares? Still a fun, engaging read.

You wrote them that perfect, that I was afraid she would end up terminally ill, or come down in a plane crash. It wasn't possible for her to betray him.

Glad it was a happy ending, left my read of the entire event on a high note.

5 stars

Damn! that was a good read, thanks again:)

5*

The best this site has to offer! Your stories are the stuff of legends make me feel emotions which is rare. 5 stars

Has it all,the ernest protagonist, the beautiful woman,the love story,the noble acts of both people...magnificent. I have to admit when Jaime says he was wrong about Jen going off to model,my gut clenched,afraid it would be Jen getting seduced and doing something to break them up. It is interesting (and also disquieting ) that a drugging and attempted sexual assault was a relief as the bad thing.....given the circumstances w the assault on Jen, Jaime would not be charged w a crime, he was acting to protect his wife and any two bit lawyer could get him off on the assault, plus in a jury trial no jury would convict him,not to mention the da bringing charges would be a political dead man walking in nyc,just too much me too and the like. On the other hand the receptionist and assistant would be charged with accessory to an attempted rape

Thank you sir for a wonderful story. Fully enjoyed it!

Killian

I usually read stories on this site for the sex, but this author is among my favorites so I had to read it. I'm glad that I did. Except for the one scene there is no sex, but the story didn't need. It is full of emotions of the heart. A wonderful story. 5 stars.

By a landslide. Not only was this well crafted, well written and highly entertaining but it packed an emotional wallop. You truly are the best of the best. Thanks for organizing the event and thanks for this wonderful story.

5 BIG stars

...been brought to tears by a story of any kind here on Literotica, but I’ll be damned if Julie’s story didn’t kick my allergies into high gear causing my eyes tear up.

Excellent read. Well done. Thank you for sharing.

Thanks qhml1 for this very touching

story. Definitely 5*.

Well Q that was a great reading time. Well done and thank you for not making it dark. Uplifting and happy reading time with some well placed tension in the storyline. Definitely a five star and another of your stories I have to favorite. Thank you for creating this invitational criteria and getting so many great author (many of my favorites) to participate.

Please do keep writing and I will keep reading

This was a very well written story with fun, sadness, a bit of heartrending and a few "almost true to life" segments. There were a few parts that were a bit too over the top but a fun, interesting read.

Now finish the story you began before this interruption.

T.T.

This story was one of a couple in this invitational that brought tears to a man who doesn't cry often. It's great to find a story about some really good characters in LW. Jen and and Jaime are both true unicorns, good to a fault. You surrounded them with other interesting supporting characters who added to the story. Good was rewarded and the bad guys were brought down hard. Just an amazing story.

Loved this, a very well written and thought out story. Hope you don't mind, but I will compare to the story "Sophia" also on this site, a good read and one of my all time favorites. Right now I'm not sure if Sophia or Unicorn is ahead in my mind (okay, I shouldn't say mind not sure if I have a good one anymore). But I do want you to know that for me to compare the two, is an honor to both! Only trouble is now I shall spend so much time reading the rest of your work, that I probably won't do housework for a week or so! Yeah.

Seriously, thanks so much for the wonderful enjoyment you have shared.

Precisely like your last story, and the story before that, and...well, you get the idea. No relatable characters, just caricatures, melodramatic plot devices, and a fantastical story line that’s pretty cynical in its attempt to manipulate the reader. No teeth whatsoever and certainly no courage by the author in taking chances.

Well written, you should win this contest!! Keep up the good work!!

Wish I could finish a piece in just a day. Yes, a day to stain, but many more days for several coats of varnish, polish, etc.

And my glue has never taken 2 days to dry. Clamp for 1/2 to 2 hrs, and don't rock the rocker for 24.

I sometimes wonder about the fish stories, but I have no real experience.

Holy fuck...as I read your next story, ready to not believe what t will be as good as the last, you do it again! You have an amazing formula! Great story!

Excellent story and I’m of the thoughts that a friends hubby or wife is off limits even when a death is involved. I know the friend who died basically asked him to take care of and be with the wife if he was gone. The two things that I’d have add was a conversation about how many sex partners they had . She was open and seemed to have plenty of experience. Most will lie about the number men adding more and women who really like the guy will down play and give lower number if its high . Even women who make it like it’s there past and it shouldn’t matter will lie if she thinks the number is to many because she don’t want to turn him off and look like a pig. Also when she went back to work it was nothing but trouble. She was very rich already so why bother. Travel for weeks at s time , he don’t like the crowd you’ll be around to much opportunity for trouble which happened, they don’t need the money and their business needs them both.

A truly great read.

Yes, volunteer work is really that rewarding! The most valuable things we do in life are what we give to others, just like this story that you have given to us.

Thank you,

detroitdave

I'm a sucker for romance and the happy ending. While I am looking forward to the tale you had first envisioned, I'm glad this is the path you chose.

FANTASTIC STORY!!!

I absolutely loved this story. The detail and the flow with which you write I just love. I love your character development and the feel of true loved that grew between them. Just a great overall story. Thank you for sharing.

A decent story,but why did he have to show her how to make a Tartare sauce if she did an intensive cookery course in France?.

I really enjoyed this story. The tears that slid down my cheeks at the flowers in the little girl's hair for her funeral startled me. I just didn't know I was that invested in the story until that moment. Continue to craft your writing talent, and I hope to see much success in your future.

you should publish better than many published authors

This is a great story with a lot of emotional events that spring to life a 5* effort.

As always you knocked it outta the park. I loved this story!

I'm afraid I must depart from most people's reaction to this "way to good to be true" tale. The guy comes across as an amalgam of Jesus Christ, Mother Teresa and Florence Nightingale: Expert fisherman, exemplary friend, accomplished artisan, semper fidelis husband...Oh, the accounting of his perfections is unlimited! Like a ton of cotton candy, sickeningly sweet! Two stars...for length

You have the right to make a character 'perfect'. I was floored when Jen disappeared for months and then rang his door bell and walked back into Jamie's life as if nothing happened. Her disappearing acts seemed to require a better explanation than you gave us. I was also surprised that Jamie found a new girlfriend during Jen's absence and did not mention her to Jen. Girlfriend then morphed into an ogre and disappears from the story. Nice exit.

I really liked the story and appreciate that you faced a tough choice with an ending. Do yo marry them off and let your readers imagine their life together? Or do you continue the story ad nauseam. You chose to summarize their life by jumping. To their 30th anniversary and have Jamie tell us that JJ turns out okay, but Eric has life problems. The rapidity of the closing, to me, spoiled the whole story.

Four stars.

Well he's not exactly an everyday man, he's pretty much a worksman Gary Stu, so the premise it pretty flawed.

Not to mention her being just as much a Mary Sue.

Neither felt like real people

That aside, it was a well-written little fantasy.