by LilyAnderson
Many years ago, I read on Literotica a story about a virgin being thrown into a dark cell with an old vampire. The vampire was trapped there by humans. He was supposed to drink the girl but instead recognizes her as his mate and chooses to spare her life instead. Then the girl helps him escape by memorizing the musical notes of the security door code. You have plot holes. You keep saying that all women choose death first (unlikely but ok) but we keep finding out that Val has had numerous sexual partners. Also, why would Alex and his men fuck them if they are specifically there to get pregnant by Val? Do you understand how pregnancy works? Why do you need the gratuitous beating? Why do you need the ridiculous mind-control bracelet as a plot device? The other story was written in a superb way, yours is an inexperienced, badly written copy. All great writers start from somewhere. Start by writing about something you know, not retelling another's tale.
To those of you waiting for more chapters, the rest of the story is only available to purchase in ebook format. I found it on Barnes & Nobles website and it’s also on iTunes.
I love this story and I want to be Emma as Val fucks me and then cuffs me and then hangs me from the ceiling and spanks my ass and thighs with the paddle until I scream as I cum from the combination of pain and pleasure.
Oi, do a 'Lazarus' on us. if it will help any - Emma isn't being controlled by Alex's jewellery. I'm sure you knew that. Just being snarky. But...even if you leave the bloody vampire alone in his cell for another 100 years, just give it a conclusion. Okay, just joking. aaaargh. Donna what to say.
Please continue. You have my undivided attention, and I can’t wait for more.
absolutely love this story please finish it please.
can't help but get so wrapped up in the heat of this story... please continue making more.
I can't wait to read more about emma and val please update soon
Please continue this story!
I love how it has started and I’m waiting for the rest; very impatiently. The writing of your characters is done so well that Val, Emma and Alex all read as if they are real people.
I am nearly obsessed with this story! I honestly think, if you continue as well as you’ve started, this could/should be published so I can buy a copy of it.
However, I have just one question.
Near the beginning Alex holds up something, saying to Val, “...You have no power over me, remember. If I’m wearing this band you know you can do nothing but follow whatever I say...”. So, my question is, when will Val and/or Emma realize and tear it from Alex’ possession, letting Val kill Alex, thus freeing both himself and Emma?
I love this story! It’s so dark but I feel for Val, I want them both to get free!
my heart strings were being played like a violin . Val & Emma's story is beautifully dark. I NEED to know if Val can keep his promise to his beloved swan. This is story is so enticing
YOU ARE BRILLIANT! NOT ONLY HAS THIS SORRY SERVED IT'S PURPOSE AS AN EROTIC PIECE OF LITERATURE, BUT IT HAS GRIPPED MY HEART AND I WILL FOREVER WINCE IN PAIN UNTIL I OBTAIN THE SWEET SWEET RELEASE OF EMOTIONAL CLOSURE! PLEASE PLEASE CONTINUE TO WRITE AND BRING JOY TO THE WORLD! IF THIS WAS A BOOK I WOULD FOR SURE BUY IT!!! HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED TO ATTEMPT GETTING PUBLISHED?? I KNOW I I HAVEN'T A PROFESSIONAL OPINION BUT AS A CONSUMER IT IS MY OPINION THAT YOU FUCKING ROCK! PLEASE CONTINUE TO WRITE BUT DON'T FEEL PRESSURED TO RUSH THE PERFECTION THAT IS THE GIFT OF YOUR TWISTED, BRILLIANT MIND!!!
Story was really good. Kept my heart pounding for poor Val and Emma. I'd love to find out if he is able to save himself and her!!
I can't wait to read what happens next. I love this piece. Erotic and with good character development. Beautiful!
Omg don't stop please continue...I love this story...
Really great story, can't wait to see what happens next. Please, please, please write more.
Please update! I've never become obsessed with a story on this site before, but damn this is good!
Like seriously he needs to die and you need to update this amazing story ASAP! Really hope you don't stop writing this is awesome.
I really love this story and the character development so far. I really do hope Val does find a way to get them out while also bringing Alex to an end. Can't wait for the next update :)
I was so happy to see another part to the story and can't wait for you to post more.
I almost just about died from excitement when I saw you updated! One of the best vampire stories I've read to date. I'm definitely going to keep checking back for more.
the update is great! still one of the best stories out there ;)
This story is one of the best that I have read in a long time. Please, please, please, update soon.
This story blows my mind, it's absolutely amazing! I can't wait till they break free, and for Alex to die a horrid death. PLEASE UPDATE ASAP I CANT WAITTT
This story is sooo good. Keep it up! I cant wait for more. Your details and descriptions are very good, nothing is lacking in this story.