The Vanishing

Lydia's heart went out to him. She knew what it was like to lose people to the Vanishing. She pulled him to lay down on the pillow in her lap and combed his hair with her fingernails. He turned to his side and hugged her around the waist and she combed through his dark red curls and stroked his cheek, combing through the scruff on his jaw. It was hard to equate this gentle giant laying here now with the Mason Barstow she knew. Had known. The one who always teased her and... invited her to go fishing and 4 wheeling when Halt was keeping her sidelined.

She remembered then, one of the last times she had gone over there before Halt was gone. She was in their kitchen, making popcorn in the microwave and Mason had come in the back door sopping wet and laughing with Nate. They'd both had their shirts off, carrying them, their shoes too. Their shorts were dripping with pond water. Mason had looked over at her and grinned, then went and picked her up in a bear hug, getting her wet. She had gotten so angry, but she could remember that look on his face now, the hurt and rejection when she had slapped his chest and told him to fuck off. He'd set her up on the counter and held her up there, laughing, but looking back, she could remember his eyes. His face. How badly he had wanted her to laugh too.

"Come back and go swimming with us! I won't dunk you, I swear!"

"Mase, you are already burnt to a crisp, you'll fry completely if you go out again!" Nate said, poking Mason's red arm, making that spot go white before fading back to lobster red.

Mason shrugged him off and looked back down at her hopefully. She smacked his red chest again and shoved him back. He laughed it off, leaving her up on the counter as they went upstairs, but she had seen the sad look he had cast back at her before he left the room as she was trying to slide off the counter.

She swallowed hard. Would all of her memories reveal the truth if she inspected them closely enough?

Almost two years past, at Christmas. Mason cutting her off in the hallway outside of his room as she came out of the bathroom. "Got you something," he'd said, holding a small box out to her.

"Right. Will it bite me or blow up in my face?" she'd asked acidly, shoving it back at him as she ducked under his arm.

An hour later, sitting with Halt, their mom had asked where Mason was. No one had seen him since before dinner.

"Sulking in his room," one of the brothers had said absently. She couldn't remember which one. Had that been because of her? Had she hurt his feelings then too? She felt like a horrible person.

Mason jerked hard, like people do when they are almost asleep and sat up. Lydia shoved the pillow aside and sat next to him, her feet dangling over the bed.

"Two christmases ago, what was in the box?"

He half laughed, his eyes going introspective again. "Tickets to that stupid space movie you kept trying to get Halt to go see with you and a badly drawn up IOU for a date to the sequel, along with a t-shirt with the logo on it."

"That was... super thoughtful. Sorry I was a bitch."

"Whatever."

"Hey, the sequel comes out this summer."

"Does it? Did you ever see the first one?"

"When it came out on DVD. I watched it on my laptop while..."

"Halt did something else?" he asked, rolling his eyes.

"He wasn't all bad. We had fun."

"When he had nothing better to do."

"You don't have to..."

"I don't want to talk about Halt," he said, standing up and going back to pacing. He stopped after a few minutes, looking down at her. "Take off your clothes."

"Mason, I..."

"Now!" he yelled.

She jumped, knowing she had upset him. She had defended Halt, in his eyes that was as good as an attack on him. She slid off the bed and pushed her yoga pants off as he watched, but hesitated at the hem of the t-shirt, looking up at him. "Mason?" she whispered fearfully. "I will..."

"Now, Lydia," he said, his voice low and his tone hard.

She pulled her shirt off and stood there in nothing but her panties, hiding behind her arms.

"Lay on the bed, on your back. Don't argue, do it. I want to look at you. Mm, fuck. I don't care what other assholes say about huge tits, I like yours. Small is perfect. You are perfect," he said, his voice thick with want.

She sat up and started undoing his pants and he watched her, half smirking as she quickly took him into her mouth.

"Fuck yeah baby. I like that. A lot. But I am going to fuck you now," he growled, pulling her back and laying her down.

He took hold of her panties and she grabbed them fearfully, holding them on with all of her might. "I will suck you off Mason! I will try, I have been good, right? I didn't fight or try anything, and I have been nice? Please, don't!" she begged as he yanked her underwear off roughly. He threw the ripped panties to the floor as she tried to hide herself.

He yanked her legs apart and looked down at her, his eyes going hooded. "Your hands, Lydia," he said darkly. "Move them. Put them up by your head. You've been so good Lydia, don't make me have to get rough now."

"Please Mason? I swear I will try, I will..."

He yanked her close by her ankles and let her legs go as he grabbed her hands and half fell on her. She was pinned under him, his jeans digging into her exposed sex as he ground into her roughly. He held her hands high above her head and looked down at her face as she sobbed. "You chose this," he whispered.

He jerked her higher on the bed, then stood up, undoing his pants and kicking them off as he looked down at her.

"You try and hide yourself again, you will pay. Not just you, your friends. I will give the boys a free hand with them and you know what they will do. Hands up, legs nice and wide for me. MMmm... I'm gonna shave that pussy baby," he growled, pulling his shirt off. He moved closer, leaning over the bed, his face inches away from her sex. He ran his fingers through the hair on her mound, then leaned in and ran his tongue up her slit, tasting her. She squealed and squirmed, but he held her hips and her legs. He licked her again and then again before sliding his tongue up to find her clit.

She gasped and went rigid, then shook her head. "Mason! Please! I will... I will... Ohhhh, stop please! Oooooh!"

He grinned as he felt her getting wet, felt her body responding to him. He slid a finger into her and she whimpered, then shuddered and he groaned as he pushed harder, forcing his finger in. He felt her give, the snap of that tight ring and heard her sob. Even so, she was wet for him and he wanted her. He didn't want to wait, he was throbbing with need for her.

He raised his head up to look at her and she was panting, her fists gripping the blankets. He continued to slowly fuck her with his finger as he raised up and used his thumb to move over her clit. She was squirming, her eyes closed and he knew she was fighting it.

"Let go baby," he whispered in her ear, moving his thumb faster.

"Pleeease Mason... Oh god oh god please!"

"Come for me baby, let go," he encouraged, kissing her jaw, then moving to suck her breast up in his mouth.

She came, her entire body jerking under him, her pussy squeezing down on his finger and he sucked harder on her nipple as he continued to roll his thumb.

"That's fucking right baby," he whispered, smirking down at her. He nuzzled her jaw as she looked away, her face reddening. "Now I am going to fuck you baby," he growled.

He grabbed her hands as they flew up and pinned them above her head as he moved up, pressing his cock to her slit.

"Mason!" she whispered urgently. "I'm not on the pill, please! I will suck your cock, let me, please?"

"Shh baby, I will pull out," he promised, running the head of his cock through her wet slit. She started to say something else, but he pushed into her then, forcing her to open to him. She whimpered and went rigid under him as he groaned. "Ohhhh, fuck baby. Fuuuuuck. You feel so good, I knew you would feel amazing. Fuck you are tight baby, I love this tight cunt. Come on baby, stop crying, please. You feel so good, I want you to want this too. Come on baby, fuuuuck, say you want this too!"

He groaned as he started thrusting into her. She whimpered and hid her face in his arm as he began losing himself. He let her hands go when she started panting and she took hold of his giant arms, rolling harder to press her face in his arm. His excitement surged as he looked down at her. She was fighting it, but she was enjoying it. Her face read pleasure and he smirked as he watched her try and hide it.

"Come on baby," he whispered. "Show me how much you love this cock. Come for me again," he urged. "I can see how much you love this, you are so wet and slick for me Lydia. Look at me baby, let yourself go. Let yourself enjoy this. Let yourself love me."

Lydia let out a wail, biting into his arm as he looked down at her.

"The pain won't last, swear it baby. Ohhh, fuck baby you are so hot. Come on baby, say it. Say you love this, say you want this. You want me."

Lydia held tighter to his arm, pressing her face to it, almost hugging it. She was clenching her teeth and she knew if she opened her mouth she would scream. She was doing her best to make him happy, show him affection. There was pleasure under the pain, but it was distant. His need for her favor, for her to say something nice was breaking her heart despite everything that was happening. He needed her to accept him. That broke her heart completely. She pressed her face to his arm and held him tight, trying to get comfort from him to help her through what was happening.

"Damn baby, fuck! I'm gonna come. You are too much baby, I can't... Ohhhh, fuck baby," he groaned, slowing his thrusting and panting, trying to keep himself from coming too quickly. "Please baby, come for me again. I need you to want this baby!"

"No!" she wailed, her voice hitching. "I can't! It hurts!"

"Shhh baby, I know you like it, I can feel how wet and slick you are, I can see your face. Come for me baby. I need you to want me baby, please," he whispered, his voice strained.

"I do! I do Mason, please! It hurts too much now. Please!"

"Shhh baby, shhh," he whispered. "No more crying baby, shhh. Fuck baby I am so close. Say you want me to come for you baby. Say if for me Lydia!"

"Come for me Mason, please!" she begged, trying to block more tears. She wanted this over!

He rammed into her as hard and deep as he could, then came, exploding inside of her. "Fuck yes baby. This what you want baby? Say it for me again baby, tell me how bad you want this cock," he groaned.

"Pull out!" she panted, squirming.

"Fuuuuck baby. It's fine. Say it baby. Say you loved that. Say you want this, you want me."

"Mason," she sobbed. "I will try, I will be good! I will suck your cock any time you want, please don't come inside me?"

"It'll be fine babe, I will get you that pill. Shh. Look at me. Say you loved that baby."

"It hurt!" she said, trying to squirm out from under him, get his soft cock out of her.

He chuckled, rolling off of her slightly. "Pain won't last, you..." he trailed off as he looked down at her, then sat up quickly, looking a little alarmed. "Stay right there babe, don't move," he said getting up. He left, coming back moments later with a hand towel from the bathroom. "You're fine," he said, pressing the towel between her legs. "It's just because it was your first time. I thought... I thought you were just excited," he said breathlessly, moving close to look down at her in concern as he pressed the towel against her.

Lydia pressed her legs together and rolled into him, laying her head on his arm and pressing her face to his chest.

He let out a breath and held her close. "You... you'll get used to it."

"I know. I'm fine. Pain doesn't bother me as much as the other, Mason. Please, I need the pill? And I swear I will..."

"Shh. Hush baby. It'll be fine. I'll get you that pill and I will get you on the pill. It's fine. How do you feel, you ok? Has it stopped?"

"I'm fine, it's done, it's not so bad now. You don't have to worry Mason, the pain isn't so bad. Lay down? Hold me?"

"Lyd..." he said, stressed. "There's... a lot..."

"It's fine. I will clean it up tomorrow," she said, humiliated, wishing he would let it go.

"Babe?"

"Please, Mason? Hold me?"

"Sure Lydia," he said softly, pulling her close. "Fuck you feel good. I've dreamed of this. All those times you stayed over out on the couch, you and Halt. I wished so bad you would sneak back into my room, sleep next to me. Curl up with me, let me hold you. I imagined all kinds of things when you stayed over."

"It... it was you, wasn't it? I thought I imagined it or was overreacting... but that night my bra was undone... I woke up and moved and my bra was undone and my shirt was shoved up. I thought maybe Halt, but..."

"What?" he asked flatly, sitting up and looking down at her angrily. "Halt touched you?"

"No... It wasn't you?"

"No. I would never have... Jude. Jude would have. If he'd come home drunk. That asshole," Mason hissed.

Lydia huddled in closer to him, hugging herself now.

Mason turned her face up to his. "I never would have done that... not back then. I might have woken you up and tried to kiss you, but I wouldn't have groped on you without you knowing it."

"What changed?" she asked softly.

"What?"

"What changed? Made it so you would rape me and kidnap me?"

"Lyd..." he said with a scowl. "You know what changed. The fucking bullshit Vanishing, you rejecting me constantly, acting too good for me. I'm done wishing, I am taking what I want."

His phone chirped and he glared down at her another moment before turning and looking at it.

"Midnight. It's over. Safe for another year. Where's your phone?"

"In my room on my desk, charging. I had it turned off."

"I will get it in the morning. Look at me Lyd. You don't need to be a bitch."

She looked up at him, shocked, then anger flared white hot. "A bitch? Because I asked a question? You just RAPED me, Mason and I tried to make YOU comfortable after you asshole! You kidnapped me and your friends kidnapped my friends and you let them rape them and you made me... go down on you! You invaded my home and you have the nerve to call me a bitch because I asked you why? You are a real piece of shit Mason Barstow! I have been more than nice enough to you! Trying to be understanding because I knew I hurt you, but fuck this!" she yelled, trying to knee him and roll away.

He caught her and yanked her hard against him. "Stop! Stop it Lydia, now! I said stop!" he roared, rolling onto her and pinning her under his heavy body.

"Mph!" she grunted, unable to move or hardly take a breath.

"Now," he said angrily, squeezing her tightly. He held her there a moment, then eased his grip slightly, slowly moving off of her. "You good?" he asked, scowling.

She threw an elbow at his chest, making him grunt.

He laughed as he rolled back over her, holding her down, but not as tight now. "Fuck, Lydia," he laughed, riding out her little squirming tantrum. "I adore you so fucking much. I have always loved your fiery little temper. Stop fighting shorty, you're just wearing yourself out."

"Fuck you!" she grunted, still trying to wriggle out from under him.

He laughed and got up, flipping her over and pushing her high on the bed before tackling her again, taking both of her hands and pinning them over her head. He transferred them to one hand then touched her face softly before leaning in and kissing her.

She went still when he pressed his lips to hers and sucked in a breath through her nose as she looked up at him wide eyed. He grinned and kissed her again and again. He forced her mouth open and held her face and every time he pulled back, she was looking up at him like he was some creature she didn't understand. He nudged her nose with his, "Kiss me, shorty," he whispered, then kissed her again. She continued to stare up at him, her eyes wide. She was no longer fighting, but she refused to kiss him back.

No matter how many chills and goosebumps it gave her.

He was grinning as he kissed her jaw and her chin, then nudged her nose with his again. "You're beautiful baby," he whispered. "Inside and out. Maybe you are right, maybe I should have done this differently, but why should I have believed you wouldn't blow me off again? Thrown it back in my face?"

"You could have tried," she said softly. "Made it clear. I really did think that you hated me. That you were just torturing me."

"It wasn't you I hated," he said, looking away, his smile fading. "The only thing I hated about you was that you wasted your time on... Nevermind. It doesn't matter now though, does it? We are here. You are mine now."

"Does that mean you are going to stop trying? That you are going to use force for everything you want?" she asked, also looking away.

"Only if you make me. I don't want to, but I have waived a long time for this Lydia. A very long time. I'm not going to give you up now that I have you."

"But you will try? You said you would try to make things good?"

"I will try, Shorty," he said warily.

"So why the other girls? They don't like them, or even care about them. It's just about... rape for them. Why not let the other girls go? It can be just me and you. We could be happy if we..."

"Don't, Lydia. I know now it was a shit idea, but it's too late. If I keep them here I can keep them from going too far. Mickey lost Sabrina last year and he has some serious anger over it. Warren has always had his issues."

"Napoleon complex," Lydia said with a scowl.

"Ok, maybe, but he does have his issues. If they are close, I can handle them."

"Why not let the girls go?"

"So they can run to the cops?"

"What if we made a deal? You let them go and they promise to act like nothing happened. I will tell them to leave it alone. Not to try and interfere with us. If they break their word, you can punish me. Tell them that. You'll hurt me if they go to the cops."

"What if they don't care? The skinny one is your friend, but what about the other one? She doesn't know you."

"She won't tell. She is traumatized and all she wants is away. If you do that, if you let them go? I will be everything you want me to be Mason. I will be your girlfriend, give you a real chance without just humoring you until I can get away."

"You care that much about what happens to them?"

"Maybe I care that much about you. If you want a real chance with me, a chance for me to care for you, you have to earn it. Let them go."

"We'll see Shorty," he said with a sigh. He laid down and pulled her against him. "You still hurt'n?"

"I'm fine."

He sighed again and rolled towards her, holding her tight as he went to sleep.

She lay awake for hours, thinking, trying to decide what to do. Around 4 AM, she slipped out of his arms and crept quietly to the bathroom. After locking the door, she eased the cover off the tank and pulled the small Ruger LCP off the underside of the cover and unwrapped it, then took it out of the bag. She tested the grip, then pulled her mother's old robe on from the back of the door. She slipped the gun in the pocket and eased out and down the hall. She found Warren and Erica in her grandparents old room. Erica was awake when she slipped in, her eyes terrified. Lydia held her finger to her lips, then moved closer and untied Erica, then helped her out of the bed. Warren snored away, never waking up.

They slipped out and found Mickey and Bri in one of her brothers' old rooms. Bri was hogtied on the floor, tied to one of the bed legs. She was crying when they slipped in. Mickey sat right up, his mouth opening to yell, but Lydia pulled the gun and pointed it at his head. He saw it well enough in the moonlight from the window and sat frozen. "That real?" he asked, swallowing audibly.