The Void

Indeed, Jake could see that the white water of the river was illustrated using the now withering petals of small flowers. He stood up straight, admiring the beautiful images all around him. "These are amazing."

Mark's eyebrows raised slightly. At last, a hint of emotion. "Really? You think so?" The edge of his mouth curled upward, so subtle, one would have barely noticed.

Jacob turned his head to continue perusing, he took a step to the side, his ankle gave out and he started to topple. Mark acted quickly, putting one hand under Jake's arm, and the other hand connected with his. Jake winced in pain.

Mark held Jake steady and was concerned, "Are you ok? Here, sit down over here."

"Yeah, I think I just did too much walking too soon, I'm such an idiot." Jake eased himself onto the boulder, Mark sat next to him. Looking down Jake realized the young man had grabbed his hand with the muddy one, and now they both shared soiled fingers.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I got mud on you." Mark disconnected from him and picked up the cleaning rag he previously dropped. "Here," he said handing it to him.

"Since these are made of mud," Jake said wiping his hand clean and absent-mindedly started wiping Mark's hand for him, "don't they get destroyed with the rain?"

He looked down at Jake's activity, feeling the rough rag tickle his palm and fingers. Mark responded quietly, "Nothing lasts forever." He cleared his throat. His deep voice reverberated within him as he spoke, "Besides, it allows me to start over and get better each time, never lingering on past failures."

"A wise lesson for us all." Jake slowed down, admiring the big hand that he held to him, lost in the contours and creases.

"Do you really like them?"

"Absolutely," Jake said with an upward inflection. "And I'm sure Victor is proud of your craft."

Mark was still watching the rag, "I wouldn't know."

Jake stopped wiping his hand and looked up into Mark's eyes, they were red and dewy, and unlike earlier, the windows into the soul were not dark and empty, there was something. Something one couldn't quite describe, but it was there, and it longed to be seen.

Mark's brow furrowed slightly, he whispered, "You're so warm and kind."

His words had shocked him. Jake realized then that he was still holding his hand, and his heart skipped a beat. He worried he had given away his secret, he released the hand saying, "I'm sorry. I..."

"Don't..." Mark interrupted softly but stopped himself to think. "I-I like it when you hold my hand."

Jake's heart was pounding and again he peeked into his eyes, seeing the light in them grow. The young man did not gaze at him with lust, instead, there was a sort of innocence about him. Jake took his hand again, not because it brought the young man pleasure, but because it comforted him.

A tear slid down Mark's cheek and slowly he leaned in, turning his head away. Their shoulders met first, and like two drops of water merging, they were suddenly embracing. Mark's head came to rest on his shoulder, his arms slowly wrapping around Jacob's little waist.

Jake sensed the pain that emanated from him, but he didn't understand the embrace. "Are you and Victor not getting along well?"

"Oh, we do," Mark said quickly. "Victor is like my brother, and I care deeply for him." He huffed, holding back tears, "I don't know why I'm doing this. Is it okay?"

Jake's eyes were wide with conflict and concern, "Yes of course." He considered for a moment what was happening just then, "Do you and Victor ever hug at all, when you are sad? Or when you are lonely?"

The tears continued to stream down his face, and he squeezed his eyes tightly as he tried desperately to hold them in. Gradually, his determination weakened, "Never." And he buried his head in Jake's neck, his arms holding tighter around him.

Jake's eyes searched the trees around him as if to find a way to help. Not knowing how to console him, he rested his cheek upon his head and felt Mark's shoulders shudder against him as he wept quietly in his arms. Jacob gulped and put his hand to Mark's face, wiping his tears gently, "You're okay."

* * *

They were all sitting in a circle in the cabin, pulling pieces of well-seasoned meat from the roasted carcasses of the rabbit and the nutria. Occasionally they dipped their hands into a bowl of steamed broccoli and ate the florets in between bites of meat. Their jokes and happy chatter continued on through the night, exchanging stories and teasing each other. The meal was a complete success and the two men thanked Jake multiple times. A powerful feeling of accomplishment rushed through him. Jacob came to the realization that he had never felt so appreciated before.

After cleaning up, they prepared for bed, Mark thanked him for dinner again, and with a grin, he pulled his grey blanket over him and turned over. Victor held his brown blanket open to receive Jacob, and they both wrapped themselves in it. They continued talking quietly amongst themselves for a while as Mark slowly fell asleep.

Both were laying on their backs when Victor had turned to lay on his side, his stomach pressing up against, Jake's arm yet again. With his own arm trapped in between, Jake felt a weight on his wrist, it was very warm. It didn't take long for him to conclude that Victor's bulge, still behind the confines of his own trousers, was resting on his arm. He froze.

"I saw the both of you," Victor whispered casually. He was scanning Jake's eyes.

Jacob did not reciprocate; he kept his eyes glued to the wood boards of the ceiling. "What do you mean?"

"In the woods," he responded softly, his breath grazing Jake's ear, "you were both hugging each other."

Jacob turned to look into his eyes, their noses were close to touching. Panic set in, "I didn't know what to say or do..."

"It's alright," Victor cooed, "there's no shame in it."

"He was so sad."

"Yes," Victor agreed; his eyes wandering. "Yes, he is very sad." He drew in a heavy breath, his rigid stomach pushed against Jake. "I knew this already, but what I didn't know was how to help him. I thought you might walk down there, and he would excitedly show you his art. I followed you and hid behind a tree to see if you would bring out that happy person he once was. I thought that having a new face around might make him more social. I was shocked when I saw things turn, and both of you holding hands."

"I was distracted..."

"Jacob," Victor cooed again, "there's no shame in it." His eyes were soft and warm; they melted young Jake. "When Mark began to tear up and he put his arms around you, I watched completely baffled. Here I thought you would make him happy, but instead, the opposite seemed to happen."

Jake's heart sank. He blinked slowly, trying to resist the sting of those words.

"You misunderstand," Victor corrected sincerely, "when I saw you both embracing, I felt something too. I felt his broken heart." His eyes welled up, "I realized then that what Mark needed was not to feel happy...it was for him to acknowledge his pain. He and I are both very lonely, we are each other's best friends, and there is no one else. No one aside from me to confide in." He paused to take in a breath and look away momentarily. "I have cared for Mark all these years; we watch out for each other. Seemingly, I should have understood his feelings but the one thing I didn't understand was the power of touch." His hand came to rest on Jake's stomach.

A rush went through Jake, his heart was thundering within him. He nearly whimpered from a mix of mortal fear and excitement as he felt Victor's strong hand slide its way up his chest and stop at his opposite shoulder.

Victor added, "So powerful." He exhaled and closed his eyes, "Touch can heal the soul, that is why when there are extraordinary times of anguish and fear, people hold hands or embrace." Victor's whole arm was now fully resting on Jake's chest and belly. "I was old enough to remember my parents, to remember the fall of society. Before all that, we were taught that men don't touch other men. A pat on the shoulder might be permitted, but that is the extent of it.

"All these years I've spent with Mark, I denied him something as simple as a reassuring hug to make him feel loved and appreciated. I never realized that words aren't enough." Victor sniffed, his eyes welled up again, "In turn, I've denied myself that same comfort and reassurance. And as I hold you now, it's as though all that has ever weighed on me, has lifted away."

And all that weight was now landing on Jake's heart. He turned his body to face Victor and they embraced tighter, but in some way, it was a ruse. As Jacob understood it: Victor sought a reassuring gesture, to feel love from brotherhood in a simple physical manner. Jake, however, longed for more than a gesture. As he embraced this man now, it wasn't just to support him, but it was also so that their two bulges could meet.

Victor felt Jake stiffen against his groin, it pushed at his own. The rapid beat of Jake's heart pounded against his own chest. The ruse was over.

Jake started to turn away, hoping to recover from his embarrassment, "I'm sorry..."

Victor put his fingertips against Jake's lips, quieting him. Then he slid his arm down from Jacob's shoulder, past his hips, and into his trousers. He wanted to know what it felt like. As he grabbed it, his friend shivered with pleasure. It was hard in his hand, the silky fluid of his pre-cum had rubbed against his arm as he reached for his balls, taking them with a gentle grasp and feeling them slide around in his fingers. Jake's breathing was rapid and uneven, Victor enjoyed hearing this.

The blanket covered them both, they couldn't see each other. It thrilled Jacob to explore the body in front of him, to slide his hand down his silky-smooth back, feeling the muscles contract under his touch. He knew now he was wrong. This was turning into something more than a reassuring gesture; his wish was about to be fulfilled. His hand continued down Victor's back, sneaking under the trousers and groping the plump, bristly contour of his butt. Jake had never been permitted such access to a man's body before, he was driven by his curiosity, holding nothing back. He gave the mound a light squeeze, then moved to find the sex between Victor's legs. It was flaccid, but still girthy. The heat that emanated from it was a welcome respite from the frigid chill of the cabin.

A wave of tingles washed over Victor as he was fondled, he gave himself over to it, fully knowing what was to come. He felt the fingers around one of his bulbous testicles, he knew Jake was admiring its weight. Very careful not to wake Mark, Victor positioned himself over Jacob.

Jake's hand was now cupping the sex that dangled over him, he then took it in both hands, letting the soft shaft brush against his thumbs as he gently moved his fingers around the hanging balls.

Victor lowered himself so that he was pressed up against Jake's erection, then he moved over it, thrusting both together.

Jake felt his partner's shaft stiffen, the head became unsheathed and was gliding over his own. He brought his hand up to cover his face, the thoughts, the sensations were overwhelming. For so long he had been made to believe all this was wrong, but at this moment, he never felt more complete. The sensation of the girth that thrust against his was all he ever wanted.

Victor tensed up, he could feel his own sensitivity increasing, he moved quicker, glancing over at Mark to ensure he hadn't woken him. He saw Jake suddenly cover his mouth to muffle his own unsteady breathing. From underneath him, he could feel his partner's shaft repeatedly contracting. He looked down to see but forgot that the darkness within the blanket made it impossible. There was a hot sensation that suddenly was spreading over the head of his erection. It was wet and silky, and it was coating him with each repeated thrust.

Jacob had released all over himself.

Victor looked up to see his head hit the pillow, his muscles were relaxing, and his eyes were shutting. The wetness that coated him was helping to make the thrusting smoother, and soon he reached his peak, his shaft had hardened, and the head was numb with pleasure. He felt himself erupt over Jake's limp body, each contraction was followed by an electric jolt until he lost his strength and collapsed next to him.

Jacob's eyes were heavy, he couldn't muster the strength or will to open them. The last thing he felt was the smooth and veiny skin of Victor's arm scooping him up from behind his shoulders and pulling him close. Jake laid his cheek upon his chest.

* * *

The water of the river rushed with its white rapids in the distance, but where the three of them stood it was relatively calm. The forest was alive with the song and chatter of the birds. Water lapping against the rocky shores of the river had made for a calming atmosphere.

"We come here to collect water, wash our clothes, and clean ourselves," Mark said gesturing to the shores. As they carefully trekked down into the narrow valley, he had been excitedly showing Jake around the forest. He offered information on the best places to set snares, pick mushrooms, and find dead trees for firewood. He had been carrying plastic jugs to collect water, which he now unscrewed the caps and started filling them and setting them aside.

"Ok," said Victor, removing his trousers, "Time to get in."

Jake's heart fluttered, "We're taking our clothes off?"

Mark grinned, "How else do you plan to wash them?" He turned away and pulled off his own.

Jake nearly blushed at the sight of both their hairy, dangling privates.

With Mark turning the other way, Victor reached up behind Jacob and pulled his pants off for him. He whispered into his ear, "Hold on tight to these or they'll float away." He chuckled playfully as he started walking into the water.

Jake was covering himself.

"There's no need for modesty, your clothes will be wet after you wash them," Mark said as he noticed Jake's reluctance. "That means you can't wear them on the way back up to the cabin."

"Come on," Victor said offering his hand, gesturing to the river.

Taking his hand, Jake was guided over the rocky shores and into the water where he crouched into it. "No soap?"

"We were able to trade for it a few times in the early years, but soap is a precious commodity," Victor responded raising his eyebrows. "Your body will eventually adapt to being without it, and you and your clothes will stay cleaner for longer."

After they were done, Mark offered to go ahead of them and carry the water back and set all their clothes near the wood stove. With a nod of approval, he was off. Jake and Victor slowly made their way back up the incline, careful not to stress his ankle. Victor had ahold of his arm, helping him over rocky outcroppings.

After a short distance, Victor sighed, "At this rate, it will take us forever to get back. This went so much faster on the way down."

A little annoyed, Jake responded, "Well, unless you have a better idea, this is as fast as I can go. It does hurt, you know."

Victor looked around and then said, "Put your arms around my neck." Jake did as he was told and Victor scooped him up, one arm under his torso, and the other under his thighs. "Here we go." As he made his way carefully up the steep hillside. He glanced over at Jake who was grinning ear to ear. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Well," he said coyly, "I don't hate it."

"This is how we first met, me carrying you from the river."

Jake smirked, "Yes, except I wasn't naked."

"It was a pity then," he chuckled as he looked down at Jake's soft groin, "but not so much this time."

As they went, Jake suddenly remembered the dream he had during his first night in the cabin. He recalled Victor carrying him. Jake began to harden, thrilled with the thought that he was in full view of his lover now, and there was nothing he could do to hide his arousal from him.

This did not go unnoticed by Victor, who smiled and couldn't help looking down at it occasionally. It was circumcised with a smooth pinkish-grey head and framed by his tight package underneath.

They made it halfway up the hill when Victor put Jake down gently on a rock. He was now standing in front of him, trying desperately to catch his breath. Jacob teased, "I don't recall you being this winded when you carried me the first time."

"You were unconscious," he reminded him with a raised eyebrow. "And Mark and I took turns carrying you."

"You did?"

Victor nodded, looking down into Jake's blue eyes. "Good thing you're so petite." He moved to caress his cheek with the back of his fingers, thinking to himself how lucky he was to have met Jacob.

Directly in front of Jacob's face was the soft part of his lover that seemed to stare right back. He reached up with his hand and ran his fingers down from its base to the foreskin-covered tip. He admired the light brown color of it all, and slid his hand behind it, wrapping his fingers around the balls and the shaft.

Victor watched with a satisfied smirk as Jake cupped his balls with one hand and unsheathed his soft girth with the other. He could see that he was lost in the excitement of the activity.

Jake pulled the foreskin back over the head, and then lifted the soft length between his lips. He let it rest in his mouth for a moment, using his tongue to squeeze it up against the roof. The spongy nature of it didn't last long, soon it began to stretch and tighten, pushing his mouth open wider, and the head extending toward his throat. Jacob pulled away, trying not to gag. Then he returned to it, sucking on the head and looking up to meet Victor's approving gaze. This felt right, it felt natural.

Victor helped him stand, then turned him around, and explored his body from his chest to his groin. He nudged his little package with his knuckles, then took Jacob's soft length into his hand and began stroking it. Soon, Victor felt the chilly, dangling droplets of his lover's pre-cum. He collected it, and his own as well. Rubbing it on his own shaft for lubrication. He gently bent Jake over, passing his fingers along his backside, and found the tightness with his fingertips.

Jake could feel Victor's finger begin to gently probe it. It was pressing against the tightness, wetting it with the precum that continued to dribble from his own head. Before long, he felt the warmth of Victor's sex between him. He knew what was coming, he wanted it, dared it to happen. He wished for Victor to claim him as his own. Biting his lip, he felt it slowly entering him, pushing inside with slow determination. It was like a pressure that was growing from within, and he let out an audible moan, pinching his eyes shut, imagining what it looked like from Victor's angle.

With his shaft inside of him, Victor reveled in the tight squeeze...there was nothing like it he had ever felt. He attempted to thrust but saw that Jake flinched, so he stopped, cocking his head to see if Jake was comfortable enough to continue. Tenderly, he moved, pulling out...feeling the contracting muscles tug at his head. Then pushing back in, the compression making him feel everything that slid past. Victor never realized how much he craved this; he wanted a companion that submitted to him. He pushed all the way in, driven by the excitement of Jacob taking it.

Stroking himself while his partner pumped in and out, Jake was shocked at just how much he could feel; the ridge of Victor's head thrusting forward sent jolts of pleasure through him. His own balls tightened, his erection hardened, and soon the white fluid poured out from him, it flung in every direction from the force of Victor's aggressive pumping.

As erotic as the moment was, it meant something else to both of them. They had wanted a partner, a lover, and they found it in each other. Jake is the kind and sensitive man who could fill the void of loneliness in a way that Mark just couldn't. Victor was just the strong, caring, and lusty protector that Jake needed. It made perfect sense to them both.