The Void and the Voices

The following story might not be for everyone. Reader discretion is advised.

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I am ashamed.

"Of what?" she asked, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

Of my life.

~ ~

I did what I was supposed to do. I did what they told me to do. I ate what they wanted me to. I drank what they brought forward. They tore away what I wore and wrapped me in themselves. Their hands on my hand. Their leg on my leg. Their chest on my chest...

I know I wasn't supposed to look but I did. Her hair at that time appeared like a black tapestry hanging in front of me. She was talking to someone in an aggrandizing manner. Her waist seemed dislocated at the angle she was bent with one hand placed on it.

It was a sin. Isn't it? Being a girl and staring at a girl? No, not just by any gaze but with a gaze holding certain meaning, a certain desire. They would banish my existence if they were to find me. Soon enough, they were on my shoulder with their mouths inside my ears. They said I was committing a sin. I must keep my mind clear for a man who likes his woman with a mind brimming with only innocence and purity. The joke of the century will be played on the man when he realizes that, this mind of mine has nothing of my own.

Then I saw her side profile. I tried shrugging the heaviness off my shoulders and keeping my focus only on her. Then she completely turned towards me. She was getting closer. I must look away. She was approaching me. She was smiling. Her lily-white teeth finally managed to relax my shoulders.

"Would you move just a bit?"

She was going to join me on this seat. I scooted away from her just enough to give her a place to sit but not enough to feel detached. She placed her bag on the desk before her and sat right beside me. Her backpack was a big utility type. So with that bag on the desk, it felt as if we were hiding behind a wall. The vicinity suddenly became warm, dark and snug.

She caught me off guard twice during the lecture but she spared me a smirk and came closer. Her hair reached me first. That dark tapestry tickled the skin around my neck as she brought her lips closer to my ears.

"You look like you wanna eat me," she said and the sounds of her mouth gave me tingles all over my body.

~~

The next thing I know I was in some sort of room. A small intimate nook. Later, that nook was revealed to be her room.

She snatched my tote bag and together with her own bag threw them in some obscure corner of that nook.

My shoulder started to feel heavier and heavier every passing minute. I was willfully neglecting them. It was not me. It was her. She was making them stop. She was sealing their mouths. She was grabbing my head and pressing her lips against mine. She was shushing my brain. She was eating my soul. My mind was under her spell. How could she ever like the taste my rickety soul?

Soon we were naked. I wanted nothing but to be able to reach every inch of her body and grab them. I wanted my palms to feel the sensation of her soft skin. She pinned me on the bed and her hair formed a curtain on us. She stayed hovering over me. I inhaled the scent of the protecting drape she had around me. If she were a sin, I would commit her. If I were a sinner, she would be my last wish.

She leaned in for an another round of kissing. I wrapped my hands around her torso and occasionally teased her breasts with my fingers as hers were teasing mine. She asked me to suck on her supple breasts. I held her mounds in my hands and gave each of her nipples delicate suckle. She giggled saying my tongue on them tickled her but I must not stop. She massaged my chest and buried her head in my neck.

Before I could prepare myself, her hand was already in the nook where I held all my shame. The niche held more of other than it did of me. Her spell that held my shoulders suddenly broke off and my ears started ringing. I immediately begged her to set me free. She agreed but stayed on top of me.

"Are you not okay?" she asked her voice closer to my neck.

My core started aching. The place that was meant for me became the bane of my existence. It ached. I squeezed my legs together and bit my lips. My head--- I started feeling dizzy.

"Hey?"

"Hey?"

"Hey? Can you hear me?"

She pulled me out. My shoulder went pins and needles. My eyes heavy and heart racing. I opened my eyes and saw her entire body wrapped around me. I was in her warm embrace and she was crying.

"I am sorry,"

She let go of my body.

"I am sorry. I hurt you," she said. Her eyes had turned pink and the tip of her nose shy away from red. What was she apologizing for?

I did what I was supposed to do. I did what they told me not to do and now she is suffering.

I held her face in my palm and kissed her puffy cheeks. I held her delicate hair and shifted it aside to kiss the curve of her neck. Her pulsating neck flinched at the contact of my wet lips. I ran my lips on her collar bone and shoulder, sucking her sweet spots and rubbing her smooth back.

"I am okay,"

I received a shower of kisses upon giving that response.

"We should rest," she said holding my sanity in her decision.

Was I sane? Do I have the right to stay sane?

"No," my soul pleaded to be allowed to live again. The hollowing pain of desperation had me cup her hands in mine.

My throat felt prickly and eyes started to hurt but I wanted to be with her. When had anyone ever cried for me? She was a stranger. Her soul felt my soul's heavy burden and shed tears on my behalf. How could I leave her now?

We sat in front of each other. Her legs overlapping mine as her core came unbearable closer to mine. She hugged me and pulled me closer.

"Please, just-" My body ached for her.

Her warm breathe fanned my ear as she kissed my lobe. I pressed my chest close to bosom as her hands went down between us. I rested my head on left shoulder as she gentle massaged the void between my legs. The voices were itching to hurt me but her smell, the delicate aroma of her body and the mindfulness her fingers turned that void into something I was able to feel.

I wrapped my arms around her as I came closer to what I was supposed to feel and what I was supposed to get from that thing between my legs. I moaned into her ears and erupted into a puddle of pleasure as she kept holding me close, making me feel one with her.