All Comments on 'The Volunteer'

This story moved me very much...thank you so much for writing it...

Well written. Sure tugged at the ole heartstrings. Wouldn't it be nice if real life played out as it did in this story? Well done.

keep writing

A bit over the top, but still a entertaining story. Keep it up!

Kept me reading all the way to see what became of the both of them.

I only have one minor criticism, and that is if Melody was seven years older than Ryan, that's still only 25 or so and she'd have had plenty of time left to have a baby. Otherwise, though, great job!

I was a student at MIT in 1957, Course 6, EE, and the year Sputnik I launched. One of the largest computers in the world was at MIT & computed the orbit. It had perhaps 1/10 the computing power of a generic ATM machine -- & was 100 times slower. Google Arthur C. Clarke and see where the idea of communication satellites in geostationary orbit came to worldwide attention. (You can Google "Clarke Belt" as well).

A great story. You are convincing enough as much sent on the internet is stored somewhere for perhaps eons?

What do you Really do, except write great stories?

This hard core techie found the plot devices easy to accept for the good of the story line as they were well written. But I didn't find the incidents leading to attraction (actions and WORDS) in as much quantity as this story deserves.

I loved the story. Normally i dont read long stories like this but it kept enthralled that i had to see what happened.

no one's birthday is always on Thanksgiving. That would mean that he was born on the fourth Thursday in November but not on any particular date.

You tell a good story and distracting stuff like the above and the lady coming to the end of her childbearing years at 25 is easily avoidable. So keep at it but think about what you're saying!

Enjoy your stories.Read them all again Ryan reminded me James in "What the Future Holds" Great stories good characters Thanks.Keep writing

First of all, I never claimed that Ryan's birthday actually fell on Thanksgiving every year, only that it was always around the time that school was out for the holiday break. Next I wrote that Melody felt her biological clock was ticking away, and she wanted to have a baby before she became too old to do so. Some women feel that way earlier than others, because they want to have children while they are still young enough to enjoy them. It didn't necessarily mean that she was approaching the end of her child bearing years. I think that Anonymous interpreted my story the way he/she wanted to, instead of how it was actually written. Though I don't always agree with everything people post regarding my stories, I am still happy when readers show enough of an interest in my work to leave feedback. Thanks for your comments. - Double_Entendre.

...but what a bitch thing to do. It wasn't like the next four years would have been a struggle for them money or time-wise if they wanted to take it easy with the baby while he got a degree. It all boiled down to her not trusting him enough to decide his own future. Fuck. Her.

Everything and you did a fine job!! Thanks for a delightful story.

I agree with the anon, who commented 12/16/12.

Fuck.

Her.

Why you thought putting this on lit.com was a good idea, I'll never know.

Why put pregnancy as a tag if there is no real content?

I may seem harsh in this comment, but that's cuz it is. Tough shit.

Douche bags like the previous Anon should be taken for what they are, useless. Great story that allowed me to feel emotional reactions to situations. Well done.

-that I can not give 105 stars.

I was fascinated by the computer nerd capability and also fascinated by the unjustly accused lady,

What I would imagine my rage would be if, someone forbid, I was pummeled into that situation.

GOOD STORY AND BETTER FINISH

It was thought provoking -

So she is all of 25 or 26 - not an insurmountable age difference nor a real ticking clock thing - but she felt that way just as she felt no one could believe her - depression is a fun time had by everyone ELSE - but not me lol

I like it - it moved it had parts that forced you to go HMMM?? and that is a good story -

A good decent story.

I would like to once again thank my editor Bechgen, for putting forth the time and energy required to correct this work. EXCEPT FOR:

1.indirectly effects (affects)

2. in which to pass (to whom he could pass)

3. with the Lance's (Lances)

4. college admittance applications (admission)

5. met their quota (requirements)

6. bios (BIOS)

7. half way (halfway)

8. part time (part-time)

9. hell hole (hellhole)

10. prove your innocents (innocence)

11. someone had to (-of) (have) set her up

12. healthy of you (for)

13. school boy (schoolboy)

14. unravel the perfect crime (IF HE COULD UNRAVEL THIS CRIME HOW COULD IT BE PERFECT????)

15. justice department (Justice Department)

16. six P.M. each night (day) (NOT SIX PM EVERY MORNING????)

17. wrong doing (wrongdoing)

18. eighty-nine million (-in) (and) change (NOT 1,780,000,000 NICKELS)

19. (-very) unique (UNIQUE MEANS ONE OF A KIND. VERY UNIQUE HAS NO MEANING WHATSOEVER!!!!)

20. That is ridicules (ridiculous)

21. what so ever (whatsoever)

22. clients' (clients’s)

23. McDonalds (McDonald’s)

24. member of the court system (judicial)

25. disc (disk)

26. image what that felt (imagine)

27. drink, eat, breath (breathe)

28. day to day (day-to-day)

29. annulated (annihilated????)

30. I though you (thought)

31. none the less (nonetheless)

32. what so ever (whatsoever)

33. single handedly (single-handedly)

34. we are in a (-rather) unique situation (THERE ARE NO DEGREES OF UNIQUENESS. IT IS EITHER ONE OF A KIND OR IT IS NOT THERE IS NO IN-BETWEEN!!!!)

35. decided had your baby (to have)

36. try (-and) (to) prevent

37. get yourself (-but) down

38. love making (lovemaking)

THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT A STORY THAT IS FOR THE MOST PART FREE OF ERRORS ! ! ! ! SORRY!!!!

I felt like the reconciliation after he awoke from his coma was glossed over, almost perfunctory. I would have liked to see more meat on that particular bone.

He saw himself married to someone else playing with his very young children. Then he saw an older young man that he didn't know, call him dad and tell him mom had died. That means there was a divorce for some reason if the vision was to come true. I did see his dead mom's possible out or did I miss something entirely? I did see that Melody's lie was beyond cruel and she didn't fix it. She would probably do it again, best guess. lying is being a cheater and once a cheater always a cheater...

The vision of him with a wife that isn't Melody, doesnt mean there has to be a divorce, because I think it may be attached to the one where Christopher comes looking for his father. If that's the case they were never married to begin with. Remember that some of those visions were from different time lines.

But I don't know how I feel about the absolute stupidity and extreme cruelty of your leading woman character. Was it forgivable? I'm not sure...

Long winded repetitive garbage.

I have seen this in a lot of stories that the wife gets pregnant without the husband's knowledge. I think that it is totally unfair to him. I just hope that this is not something that happens a lot in real life. The story was good overall other than that Christopher drama. She could have simply asked him. They had money so no concern regarding job. That IMO was kinda stupid thing to do.

Thanks for a very entertaining and well written story.

It's so much better now. The original version dropped to 3 stars with the ending. Horrible. This version fixes that so thank you.

Was 4 stars dropped to 1 as soon as she pulled that stupid shit with him. Stopped reading entirely.

Great story concept and good pace.

However.

Ryan acts like a petulant child, very unlikable. Melody decides to stop taking birth control because her biological clock is ticking -- at 25 years old? What does that mean? She's conniving and manipulative and at 25, she's fearing the onset of menopause? I don't get it. The story is classified as a romance and, I guess, it could be, but I've read the story and I really don't have a clue why they were attracted to one another. What's the romance in that?

Again, the author has a great, very creative story concept that shows excellent potential.

The original was excellent but absolutely a killed story at the end. I think I voted 5 stars, but hated the ending. I think you got so much hell mail that you fixed it and did it so very good. So, thank you for a wonderful love story Author.

Johnny

Please keep writing! Absolutely wonderful! He proved to her they were the love of each others' lives.

Even after telling the truth (maybe) how could you ever forgive a whore that destroyed you???

Now that's the way to really spin up your drives platters !

I didn't like it. Too focused in the fanciful bullshit instead of the romance.

Doing really well till you had this popping up to heaven for a chat with mum mumbojumbo. 1* but you were in line for 5