All Comments on 'The Wages of Sin, Revisited Pt. 01'

No voting. huh? If there was I'd have to give this five stars although it is contrary to how I would have handled the worthless cheating cunt. It did work out, however, so that's why the high mark. I look forward to the next chapter.

I can see why, it deserves a minus two stars, fantasy crap of a woman hater

The husband should have burned her slut ass! If I could vote, it would be 1 star.

As Death Valley in August

Sorry excuse for a tale. Dull, written in a very sophomoric way. Not worth the effort to post a next episode.

I like it.

the ending is so bad I burst out laughing . All that Planning by Norman... then one days she confesses and he says OK ... the wife e walks away scott free without paying ANY sort of a price?

awful story

the writing is okay. If he was born and raised in an English speaking country, he obviously was not "head over heals" in love with grammar, punctuation, and spelling. This was weak.

author does not allow readers to vote. This was below so-so. The writer needs an editor who is willing to completely rewrite his stories. No one ever recognized he had a hearing problem??? His wife of 10+ years was never suspicious when he did not respond to her comments directed to his back? What about the phone? Group meetings? Put a hearing aid in his ear or realize no one is going to believe this story!

I'm glad business wasn't stagnant when he met this woman or he would not have fallen in love with her! Jesus!!

The lip reading was just another device to learn about the cheating. This story could do with greater detail and more pacing. Lets know the characters more, so we can care about them. Very one dimensional...and then almost no show of emotion.

I do appreciate the overall effort and thank you for writing.

The end was seriously rushed.

Was a 4*+ tale till the end drug it down to a 3 at best 😣

Hope part 2 is a bit more leveled ......

his wife is entitled to half even if she is a whore and she would have consulted and attorney who would have advised her to go for a full divorce and search . where any assets he took out would have shown up missing. nice thought for such a scheme but she would have to be a shumck or stupid to fall for it.

What to make of this??

It helped me kill time, in the mall while my wife & daughter were shopping.

Your first 2 stories were better than this, in every sense!

AMerryMan

Please read some stories and pay attention to the dialog. Nobody speaks like this

Not close to reality, Norman is a cold fish, Jill a complete slag, not much.

Reality where? There was no need to set them up, she had no choice in the matter. The smarter move would have been to hire a PI and uncover her slutty ways with multiple men. That would not make her look too fit as a mother. As far as the financial split goes - she got what she would have gotten anyway! So what was so great about this plan?

DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH? YOU SURE DON'T WRITE IT!

Now I know why you didn't allow anyone to rate this story. Just God Awful Writing.

Ugh. I will definitely not be looking for chapter two.

I wonder what percentage of you guys shoot yourself in the foot by your choice of wife?

Okay, maybe she wasn't a party girl, but she cheated on you before marriage and you forgave her.

Or she could be a perpetual flirt, never satisfied with the attention of only her exclusive boyfriend.

Then there's the clue that her best friend is a slut.

Do you make a major decision like your choice of life partner with only your DICK?!

I am losing sympathy, reading stories of men who marry beautiful women with major character flaws who end up cheating on them, when they should have known better.

So which is it: does the little brain overcome the big brain, or was the big brain "not all that" to begin with?

Someone want to explain it to this old lady?

When you can't vote on it. Please do not finish this awful piece of shit story. Please stop writing altogether.

Wow. Plotting sufficient but character development goes one way then another. For example, the wife changes traits in the middle of conversations. Your vocabulary choices hinder the story telling in that your syntax is so stilted. And before anything else start attending to how people really talk and converse. I have a PhD in psychology and my undergrad was in English. Never, even in undergrad did anyone talk like your characters not even my major prof who was a world renowned Shakespearean scholar who could get bombastic. This story in a major fail as a story but could be a learning experience.

You should ask for the money that you paid for English lessons back.

Isn't the plot. Sure the plot is tried and true, but aren't most of these stories? For me one of the reasons i won't bother with any more of your submissions is because it lacks depth.

Next time yoru better off submitting an outline rather than your finished work.

There are a variety of problems with this story, including some number of words that completely baffle me - not only are they wrong, but I can't even figure out what word they were supposed to be.

But the logic the Pastor uses in describing choices to his 'fuck-buddy' is just insanely bizarre - If you confess to your husband in private he will destroy you, and I'll lose my job and public respect... but if I just make a public announcement from the pulpit that we are having an affair everything will be fine. WHAT?!

That logic is some of the dumbest if ever read.

Standard boilerplate story. Predictable, Slow and boring

At least it flows.. The plot is fairly simple with the big surprise being the fact that his plan to get her out with a minimum of shock worked very smoothly.

Too many suspensions of belief.

1 deaf in one ear means you can hear in the other ear, so I wouldn't think it requires lip reading. But it is a story device to learn of the cheating.

2 By far the logical thing for the lovers to do was to ignore the accuser. Can't get worse than that, and might not be so bad.

3 Unmarried Clergy who are caught fucking married women, prostitutes, men, and boys seem continue in the ministry quite well.

4. Seemed likely that after a divorce, young children would continue to live with their mother, that the children liked their father wouldn't be relevant. Plus the father was absent a lot, so having the children in the care of a nanny weakens the father's case for custody

In other regards, the characters were pretty cold and unemotional, so the reader had no sympathy for any of them.

A somewhat good story in that the husband was not a wimp. The cheating slut wife got off with a slap on the wrist and her pastor lover also, unless he ended up married to the cheating whore. For me personally the only thing that would have made the story decent would have been for the cheating slut to have gotten AIDS and infected her lovers sentencing them all to a very slow and painful death. As it is the story basically gives the impression that cheating sluts don't suffer much in a divorce and that their children and the spouse that they cheated on suffer minimal pain caused by their cheating and a divorce.

and conned by an amateur, who is probably not finished. TK U MLJ LV NV

What kind of wimp husband lets his cheating wife and her lover get off basically

scot-free?

Normally in a cheating story, I want some retribution or something along those lines. However, in this case the author had a good premise or at least a decent outline for a story. Him having joint custody of the kids and not getting raped in the divorce is the best possible outcome in this scenario. No child support or alimony. Not believable or realistic..but hard to beat.

Character development is pretty shoddy and the ending seems a bit rushed. Hard to sympathize with main character.

,,,if you were going to get to writing part 2...

All the passion, emotion, and plot of a warm rock.

Really TMSPTGR3. That's really most generous. I wouldn't even rate this shit that highly. Doesn't even rate one star...

More of a detail synopsis of an affair, actions taken by the husband to secure his finances, and resulting divorce. Passion? Some of the best stories here have no passion. Still a well written story.

No retribution for the pastor, the hunk, or the cheating bitch. Nothing but happiness? Not for me.

In the real world many people are fucked over and there is no retribution for the guilty. And that's the way goes. It would be interesting to see how things worked 20 years later after they meet by chance. Is he happy, is she happy.

I agree with you. Norm seems like one of those guys that would hold the pastors dick when he needed to pee.

Couldn't grow balls enough to finish the story huh?

Not bad. He got out of the marriage with most of his assets in tact, and got rid of a slut wife and poor mother. It's been 6 years - where is part 2?

Nope. This one is too easy. Burn the wife and pastor in the church service. Then go ahead with the divorce.

All the feeling and emotion of a wet rock and no part two.

Won't bother going to part 2. Go back to school

Yuck…was Norman a male?

Still waiting for part 2.... This is a very good story and I have read all of your stories and enjoyed all. Please may we have more of your work or is this GOOD BYE?

Please - don't write anymore dialogue.

I guess I am old-fashioned, but that part where the divorce adviser says he takes a woman out to dinner and show, and then he has bought sex with her, I thought that was pretty disgusting. I know there's a lot of that around, but it is too bad to see it so casually accepted. Then, of course, one of these people is entitled to find his "princess," that special one. I think he's entitled to another divorce. I suppose, though, that given the hostility to women that pervades these stories, most men don't have a problem with it.