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We haven't seen or heard of any other people since that first group, but I think that's going to change. Ronnie is seventeen now, and he confided to me the other day that he wants to go looking for a wife. He asked me not to tell Morning Star because he doesn't want her to worry. He's been looking at the atlas Morning Star brought with her, and wanted to know where I thought other people might have survived.
I told him there had been some people before who called themselves "survivalists" and lived in remote parts of the country, but I wasn't sure there were any close by. The only one I knew about was the guy on his short wave radio, and he lived in Texas, and I told Ronnie that was at least a thousand miles from our house.
Ronnie just grinned.
"That'd be a long walk, but I could do it easy. Mom did."
I'm usually a little envious of Ronnie's optimistic spirit, but now, it has me worried.
I understand what Ronnie wants to do and why, but I'm not sure I'm ready to let him go off on his own. I know he's capable. He shoots a bow as good as his mother, has learned everything we taught him about hunting and fishing and finding food and building things. He's healthy and strong. He made his own bow and arrows. What he lacks is maturity...or maybe it's just that I don't want to admit he's mature beyond his years. It seems like yesterday he was playing with the goats and teasing his sisters. Last fall, he stayed in the woods for three days by himself, killed two deer and then brought the dressed carcasses back on a sled he made from branches lashed together with vines. Kids grow up way too fast.
He told me he was thinking of starting next spring, and that when he found a woman who'd come with him, he'd bring her back home. I know there's no use in trying to talk him out of going. He's as stubborn as his mother once he's made up his mind. I guess I'll have to wish him well and hope for the best. Maybe he'll have a story to tell when he gets back with his wife.
- COMMENTS
ja998 months agoIf you did an edit, and posted a new version (or wrote a similar story), I'd suggest a few things:
1. There's a lot of setup in the front that isn't strictly necessary to the plot-line, though cutting that is hard, I know, I'm an author too (we have some similar ideas).
2. When I read it, it looked like there was some gap in the storyline right about where the lion appeared and morningstar shot it.
3. Most people don't call each other (as married folk) by long names. Morningstar probably would be shortened to 'star' or Mo, etc.
4. It's unlikely that in a country of 300m people that the family has no neighbors. Some wandering around, on bicycles even, would allow leaving signs for getting together. Fearing others is only early -stages, after a year or so, people are probably self-sufficient and interested in trade again.
5. To help readers (and increase score), add chapter headings at appropriate parts, just with '-- Chapter: xxxx--' lines. This gives anchor points for readers.
6. You jumped back and forth into the future 20 years and then back to give emma kids, that would have been eaiser to understand in chronological order and is an easy fix.
Again, very nice work, I enjoyed it. Looking forward to other things you've written. I like to read about disagreements between characters, it's fun to watch dynamics there, gives flavor, lots of stories don't have that.
Anonymous11 months agoI agree with the previous anonymous person. COVID 19 most certainly is not "just a flu" (note the use of the present tense). The undermining of the WHO is certainly not a good look either.
Anonymous12 months agoGood story except the minimization of COVID 19. There were bodies piled up in makeshift morgues in every major US city and around the world in the early days of the pandemic.
texlooabout 1 year agoI love speculative fiction. This is a really solid yarn. The characters and setting was engaging. I only wish it was longer. Maybe we will see a sequel telling the tale of the older son's quest for a bride?
