by LucyKing101
Thank you to everyone for all comments and voting, it's been really encouraging. I really hope you enjoyed it. Thank you as well for all constructive criticism, this was my first attempted story and I hadn't realised how short it was! I will definitely try and make it longer next time, cheers xxx
for being your first story you did an excellent job! loved this so much. so how does it feel having the first one under your belt? i hope you have another in the works, i would really look forward to reading it. great job lucy. keep it up!
I like the short chapters and the whole story, but the ending was way too abrupt. The reader (this one anyway) needs a denouement, not just an epilogue you scoop out of a tin can off the shelf.
It was easy to feel the love between Leo and Mattie, in spite of the short length and rather abrupt ending of the story. Hope you will keep writing!
Very enjoyable, although abit short. Agreed with the comments about abrupt ending, thought you could have played it out abit more. Overall, was a very good read. Please keep writing.
However the story makes Leo seem like the most idiotic military personnel. The fact that he made love to her while trying not to be found while in possession of the stone makes no sense at all especially considering his position. Other then Leo seeming like and idiot great story.