All Comments on 'The WhatsApp Group'

Would have made a reasonable 2 page story, but 9, no way.

Oh, what a great big fun, nine wonderful pages of keeping the pace high and still taking your time and let them find quite a number of combinations. Thanks for this.

But even more thanks for this kind of sequel to 'The Cam Girl', I always hoped for but had some doubts. Therefore my deep gratitude for bringing some more life to one of characters of the one story that made me try my luck with a bit of writing here on Lit too.

Even if it offends the idea of Mr. Joe Cocker's song, I leave the rest on but take my hat off to you and take a deep bow. 28k words that chiselled an hour-long smile on my face. A well deserved ***** and more if it was possible.

Any chance to secretly hope for a third part?

Loved the story. I'm impressed at how you wove a love story into an orgy. Kinda cool and I really liked it.

The only time I was vomited on, accidentally I should add, was when I met this woman who knew two others who had the keys to a bar that was closed over a weekend. That led to a drunken orgy of sorts, with the four of us at one point watched by two men (not my thing, honestly, but one of them was the husband of one of the key-holders and they just sat back and watched. Not my first audience though!), and it was all going nicely, I thought, when one of the girls threw up her lunch all over my head as I bottomed her friend in a 69. I say lunch, but it was mostly gin and a few peanuts...

Had a few threesomes, but never been part of a fivesome.

I enjoyed this story, even though I didn't understand some of the language used. Dope, for example, to me is either a foolish person, an industrial preparation or weed - I know, I'm just not hip. I also had some difficulty with identifying each girl when sometimes they were named and other times they were referred to by hair or skin colour. The general premise seemed to work: too many stories read as utterly unbelievable just to set up the plot.

And I like ass-play; too many lesbian stories appear to ignore it or regard it as disgusting, whereas it is just another opportunity to stimulate a set of nerve endings that maybe she had forgotten about!

Lexi

Nice idea. It reads like a screenplay (what a short film it would make!) and although the dialogue is natural and convincing, with so many interactions it's difficult to keep track of what's going on. I would echo the previous commenter's feeling that when characters are named, then referred to by some trait (like hair colour, relative age or skin tone) it's not easy to keep track in a fast-moving dialogue.

Hey there, everyone!

Thank you so much for the feedback.

I really put dialogue first in most of the things I write, just because it's something that sells me on stories, Only_connect. The fact that it's coming through makes me grateful. Your note (and anonymous Lexi's) on tretament by trait is totally understandable: in order to avoid just using names I often resort to that, sometimes too often.

I believe I read somewhere once that a writer's nightmare is a threesome of women, due to how unhelpful the words "her" and "she" become. With 5 women, it gets even trickier xD

You know the funny thing, ramblin2020, is that the romance was actually not envisioned from the start. I just started writting and suddenly felt Carolyn and Hailey falling for each other with their interactions, and adapted accordingly.

Also, I'm usually a succint person that cannot get length into their texts, first anonymous person. This was 9 pages because that was how long it happened to be, not by device.

Lastly, 29wordsforsnow I really dig how much you get into my stories, it's really appreciated! I'm a firm believer that, when I've said all I want to on a story, I should not touch it further. This is why "The Cam Girl" has a special place in my heart and an actual sequel (in the true sense of the word) will never happen.

Originally this one had nothing to do with that story, I just noticed that one of the women (who was originally called Stacey) could be replaced by Hailey and work better, since with that specific character I felt like I had something further to say (as opposed to Jarno and Mackenzie). That's also why I didn't even mention in a foreword that this was a character from "The Cam Girl": if a reader noticed it, awesome and would make my day. As it happens, you did :)

Once again, thank you for the ratings, views and comments.

Hugs and kisses,

DinaParker69 ^^

... right after The Cam Girl.

I could picture Hailey feeling somewhat left out after Mac and Jarno got together, and it's great to see her find a love interest of her own.

The description of the dust in Mac's former room reinforced that sense of being alone but, thankfully, that didn't last.

Very well written.

5 Stars, and my thanks.

Knocked me completely off kilter; no surprise since I'm. a male wannabe lesbian. Completely zany and wholly entertaining. 5 hummungo stars.

I'm tickled that I have found another author who takes a meme (assuming you saw the thing going around about the dick pic in the group chat, and this isn't an independent invention) and turns it into a sex story... and a hot one, too. Thanks for sharing! Hailey & Carolyn's arc is 100% My Jam™ and I loved it; the rest was mostly just 'pleasant.' Once it was a big sex party I was a bit less invested, not because of anything wrong with sex parties or the writing, just that the situation felt 'solved' and I tend to check out when it's just sex. (Why do I read on Literotica, then? Great question.) Anyway, very very fun. I'll be checking out your other stories!

Very well done. Interesting array of very different characters coming together over the "dick pic" and finding their true Sapphic pleasure each through the others. Very erotic but tastefully expressed. The two biggest "winners" after the weekend seemed to be Carolyn, who embraced the opportunity to become a different person, both sexually and emotionally. The other winner was Naomi who was recovering from a loveless arranged marriage that took up a chunk of her life. She too will never be the same ... in a very good way. There were a number of little things that added to the thread of humor throughout, one of which when Hailey sent half-nude Carolyn to answer the door for the food, knowing that the delivery guy was intentionally gay based on previous deliveries. It was cute, though given the group of beautiful women, he would definitely need to be "not just bi." Haha. Keep up the great work. Thank you.