All Comments on 'The Wingman'

"Figure it out Wingman. You've always been a smart guy. BTW I saw you grabbing my sister's tit."

Got an actual laugh out of me. Fantastic fucking story bro, is there any thoughts about continuing it?

Excellent story!!

Great read, so sexy and erotic with no vulgarity, my kind of tale!

Put a smile on my face, and I sooooo wished my 18th year was half this good.

That was a fantastic tale. I enjoyed every word, The development of the story was perfect and so believable. I can only hope that you have a next chapter in mind. There are so many possibilities. Keep em cumming~

Just the right amount of sexiness without being vulgar....I think Mark knew all along.....that twin thing

5 stars for me. A great young love story. No real surprises but well told and created some likable characters.

Very well done. I hope it’s true.

what will thay get up to next? keep it going

This is a great and very believable story of love. Would like to see a follow up as well.

The ending is so sweet! Love it

Another one of your fantastic stories!!! Thank You for sharing!

Well done. Very dramatic pace. Ending was a dream.

Thanks

I can so relate to Brandon. That was me in High School. Totally reliable all the parents trusted me. But If they only knew the real story.

It started with an interesting plot line - the virgin "wingman" of the title and the would-be stud's twin sister as standing date for the wingman and chaperone

Never mind that the term applies - or did originally - to the stud's male companion who. was to divert the attention of target's companion, whose function it was to discourage wannabe studs

The problem I had with the story is that it became totally unrealistic to the extent of going way way over the top

Mark got word of his full ride basketball scholarship to a D-1 school the LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL - dude, those free rides are offered all winter and accepted February 1 (not binding on the jock before that)

Brandon and Macy applied to, were admitted, and accepted the offers of admission, to Harvard and MIT respectively, and NOBODY IN THE SCHOOL KNEW ABOUT IT? The author has not been around an American high school for a long, long time, or he didn't real care what he wrote.

The four kids are going to go to four different colleges in greater Boston. Anyone who had the slightest interest in making a plot device plausible (i.e., the parents agreeing that the four of them should share an apartment is preposterous on its face) would know that commuting to any one of these schools by car is impossible unless you have reserved parking places at both ends. Entering freshmen don't qualify for these perks at the schools, and an apartment that provided four spaces ....

I looked up what it cost to rent a 2 bed, 1 bathroom apartment in the area that would a reasonable commute by public transportation to all four schools, and the cost seemed to average around $3000 - but NO PARKING included

Each of the schools has a policy requiring freshmen to live in the dorms unless said freshman lives at home Harvard allows freshmen to bring cars, but the parking is at a minimum a 15 walk from the nearest dorm

So - I have nothing against fantasies - what else is Literotica about? - but an author who respects his art - storytelling in the form of written fiction - will make as much of his story true simply to insure that his fantasy comes across as plausible­

As always an excellent story, I enjoyed the pace and the way you set it all up. I agree that the chance of them all going to school in the same city to be a slim chance but I loved the story. Great writing.

Really a fun story. Wingman, and Wingwoman find each other. Love it Five Stars worth.

I enjoyed this story. Keep writing. There has to be some suspension of disbelief in a story like this. However, it got a little far fetched at the end with the wrap up page. It doesn’t seem plausible that parents who were severely restrictive about their kids dating suddenly became the “cool parents” who suggested those same kids live together and even gave them illegal alcohol to celebrate. The restrictive small town Christian upbringing situation was a good scenario to back up your story. Don’t abandon it and change environments for the sake of a happy ending. Similarly, you painted Mark as a dog who will bang any girl available and keep them in rotation. That’s fine if that’s the character you’ve created, but don’t change him at the end into the guy who is ready to move in with one girl and set up house. At least not without some reason for the change.

I think you might have done better with ending the story just before the talk with the parents. Leave the readers to imagine where the central couple goes from here.

Again, good story. Thank you!

This was lovely. Thanks

Maybe he would drop his sister off but would he drop I off?

No, he would drop ME off.

Corrected it reads: he would drop his sister and me off.

memories: i can't believe how nervous holding a hand could make me feel way back then

Call me sentimental - but I have read thousands of lit stories/chapters - this was awesome -

Great dialogue. likable and believable to some extent, characters. I enjoyed the story very much. It could use some editing. I agree that a small school (200 kids) with 1 MIT, 1 Harvard, 1 Tufts and 1 Boston College full ride scholarship is a bit of a stretch. Perhaps some acknowledgment of that academic prowess could have been incorporated. I liked the dialogue a lot.

Nice and really interesting

What stupendous storytelling.

The problems other commenters had -- improbabilities of all getting scholarships to nearby colleges, parents suggesting a live-together, giving booze, etc -- never occurred to me as I read.that

It still does not bother me,

nor do I care.

Thank you, Mr. Frankenstein

Paul in Oklahoma

Well done.

Very enjoyable story!! I keep re-reading it.

Great story from a terrific writer. Would love to see a follow up with these characters.

Excellent, thanks

Fun and sweet. Unfortunately having binge read all your stories, I'll just have to wait for a new one. I like that you really have attempted a variety of styles.

PS, Harvard will not let you live off campus for the first year.

Cute and fun read. % stars, that was typo but true you get 100% of a five... :-)

thrd or fourth time i've read it. sexy and fun every time, and macy throws the perfect bomb at the end

A lovely story beautifully told. 5 stars.

Brilliant

I really liked the story. I think I agree with the improbability of all of them getting to colleges in Boston being the weakest part of the plot but I don't see a problem with the parents agreeing on them living together.

The story very much implies that the parents know what's been going on. Brandon dad's note makes it clear. The boys have done a good job of protecting the girls reputation so far and therefore are tasked to keep doing it in College. What better way to protect the girls reputation that have them have stable boyfriends?

There are some very interesting conversations with their parents awaiting the kids in the future...

Excellent

Great tension with a hear warming end! Love it.

You are a great storyteller and a brilliant creator of believable characters. You are the best on the site since JoeDreamer was in his prime. Keep it up.

fabulous, except for the simple fact that BC, Harvard, MIT and Tufts are not all in walking distance from the same spot.

I don’t care about the improbable academic situation. It’s still a great story. Where was Macy when I was 18?

Excellent story arc and details! I particularly liked the cool Dad character.

Brought back some great memories. Thanks.

A wonderfully woven story

Excellent tale, well written and a lot of fun. 5*

Great story, very believable. Especially loved the final few lines. 5⛤

I'll admit to having read the comments before I posted, and I agree with the most observant ones. However, I don't believe that takes away from the story--you highlighted Macy and Brandon getting together and you sold it well: I always suspected (and suspect) that sometimes the ones most antagonistic to each other can sometimes end up together, with the most vociferous one becoming the sweetest in her own way; you did not disappoint with that assessment: you maintained Macy's biting persona so well that became such a welcome change when she softened to him; you pulled a master stroke when you made Brandon refuse to "fly" with Harry just to "score" with Alysa's cousin--then struck Brandon with the epiphany to say he turned it all down because he was dying to be with Macy. What you unfolded after that was as spectacular as their first time, and you stoked the sizzle in different ways with different situations (her using the bathroom in front of him, showering with him, then having sex with him in the lake while on her period).

Now I will still say them attending the same colleges reveals a glaring omission, as there is nothing to show they're brainiacs, nor that they've studied so hard they had to let off as much steam as possible to stay centered, nor even what each majored in. Normally I'd dock a star for that, and another poster is right: no way the parents didn't know with the booze included in the deal, nor in getting them an apartment all together, where there would be little to no privacy. At the same time, you painted yourself into a corner with the timing, as you would have needed double the pages to deal with the parents discovering, grounding them all, then forcing them to rebuild that trust...BUT it likely would have required on the order of 12-15 Lit pages for the erstwhile teens to bamboozle their parents into such an arrangement as this. So despite my protestations of the obvious...the story worked--and I NEVER rooted for any two people to get together as much as I did for Macy and Brandon. Still 5 stars!

Looking for part 2 I hope you continue.

That was a damn fucking good story

The first story of yours I read, I want that impressed with. I'm glad I continued, because the last two that I read were great.

Cute story of the sweet relationship between Macy and Brandon. Loved how you brought them from antagonistic towards each other, attracted at the same time to a full on solid believable couple. I especially loved the “punchline” at the end, suspect that by that point neither Macy or Brandon were hiding anything from Mark or Cheryl.

Don’t think my parents would have went for the apartment arrangement 2 girls and 2 guys, no matter how much money it was going to save. Being from the “Bible and Grain Belt”, I can tell you parents are still pretty protective of their daughters. My parents wouldn’t have okayed it even if my brother was part of the package. So you should have worked on selling that aspect just a little better. That was the only problem I had with believing your story. I loved it, reminded me of home!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Absolutely loved this!

Loved this so much. Wish Frankenstein1962 would have continued on with both couples stories.

This was really good.

Great story

Very, very fine story...all the kids end up together in the same apartment at college...parents think they are so smart (or maybe they REALLY ARE...they can see too!!)

The whole build-up to Macy having a relationship with him was very exciting; I was not sure it was actually going to happen, especially the way it did. Mark's reaction at the end was PRICELESS!?

FIVE**5**STARS...FOR A STORY THAT DESERVES MORE!!

Brandon and Macy...who would'a thunk it!!