All Comments on 'The Wolves Ch. 029'

This story just keeps getting better and better. Happily awaiting your next chapter.

I love the story building you've done. Though I was starting to get just a bit bored of the dungeon stuff. Thank you for throwing in a bit more excitement!

I love this series, but it's always felt like it has split personality disorder to me.

On one hand, you have the dungeon/video game half: it's honestly... Not that great. We don't need to know every little gem that the adventure group gets; that's not at all what makes a story interesting. Instead of character development (their personalities, to be clear), we get what feels kind of like a teenager talking about the actions they've taken in their video game of choice, not realizing that the other person has checked out of the conversation.

I know that's harsh, and I'm sorry - but it is what it feels like... Especially when you compare it to the *amazing* space opera that's developing, where the focus is on characters and plot and world building. That half of the story is just SO much more engrossing it feels like there are two separate authors working on the story.

What I'm trying to say isn't that you should cut out the idea of the dungeons entirely - it's part of your vision for the story, and it leads to things like the specters falling behind and needing to grind (although I find that surprising), or the hellraisers being able to do what they do.

Just try to incorporate it a little bit better with the rest of the story, and think about the techniques of writing. If this comparison helps, think about podcasts of dungeons and dragons; what makes them interesting is listening to the characters interact and grow, not listening to a rote description of, 'Grok rolls to hit the goblin. He rolls a 12. He hits. The goblin takes 3 points of damage and dies.'

I hope that my comment wasn't too disheartening - it's coming from a place of interest in the story and wanting to help another writer along their journey.

@abiostudent3

It isn't disheartening at all! I've always planned on cutting back on the dungeon stuff to focus more on the space opera-y stuff later on. I haven't decided at what point I will end book one and start book two, but dungeons will be less and less prevalent as times goes on. They will always be a part of the story as people can't get stronger without delving into dungeons. While there are wars with magic flying back and forth, people can't level that way.

As of the most recent chapter(Chapter 35), only 6 days have passed, and there haven't been many time skips. Without spoiling anything, I can promise that there will be more time skips and more character building upcoming, so it won't be the same monotonous thing happening over and over again.

And who knows, maybe I'll take a look when I'm done with 'The Wolves' and put out a version that is purely a space opera. I don't think it would be too hard, and some things would have to change, but it could be an interesting project to undertake.

Been binge reading this the last few days when I had the time, and something's been bugging me the last few chapters.

The location of The Indomitables. It's been repeatedly stated that they're in the Sagittarius Dwarf Galaxy. Isn't that the original home of the Scyftans, the one they were forced to flee from by those unknown organic ships? What are The Indomitables doing there and how can it be only be less than a year's travel to Earth from there when it originally took over three millennia before? I understand technology advances, but that's a hell of a lot of time to shave off, plus there's the whole ancient enemy thing that is likely still lurking there.

Anyways, back to reading for me. I'll catch up with the most recent chapter soon, which I think is chapter 35 at the moment.