All Comments on 'The Women Generals'

Your story is like a plain narrator's retelling of events. It's bare, clinical. I found it impossible to get excited about what was going on, as there was barely any description, any detail or character in your writing. It was like reading a recipe!

Add to that the point that after eight years of a wimp in the white house a strong leader should be called a White House dingbat...

I gave it a 5 star rating, I know this is fiction, and even though you constantly put the POTUS down, I over looked it, because this is fiction/fantasy, you started out on the wrong foot but there's room for improvement, I'll wait to read you next chapters, or other stories you submit before I dicide to continue to follow you or not.

I will continue to read your stories. I hope you continue this one.

The story keeps shifting back and forth between first and third person. This is confusing to the reader, especially when it happens in the middle of a sentence. Please proofread your work before submitting.