The World Made Yonder Pt. 05

'I know your game,' said Graham softly. 'You manipulated Celia into this. You kept the pressure on, knowing she would crack.'

'Why would I do that?'

'To get custody of Stephen.'

Joey reeled backwards as though Graham had thrown a punch. Of course, he thought. Celia committing assault would totally sabotage a child custody claim. And if she did go to prison, Stephen would live with Joey as a matter of course. He heard Graham make a sneering noise.

'Don't pretend it never occurred to you,' he said.

'It didn't.'

'Bullshit! Listen, Joe, I understand that you want revenge. If a woman did to me what Celia did to you, I'd make her regret the day she was born! But this is my daughter we're talking about and I won't allow it!'

'If you don't trust me, why are you letting her stay here?'

'Because a mother belongs with her child.'

Graham stepped up to Joey, right into his face.

'And if you take Stephen away from my Celia, I will fucking end you! Do you understand me?'

Joey was shocked. He had not experienced an in-your-face threat since his schooldays. He heard the women coming downstairs and Graham stepped away, resuming his position by the shelves. Patricia came in with Celia following, and the older woman looked at the men in turn.

'So...' she said. 'Did you boys get a chance to talk?'

***************************

After Celia's parents left, Joey warmed up some of the leftovers from his supper with Stephen and gave a plate to Celia. He sat with her as she ate, getting the story of her phone call with Bjorn and her decision to confront Jackie. However, when she got to the part where she grabbed the bottle, Celia broke down in tears. Joey held her as she cried for a full half hour, then he put her to bed almost as though she were a child.

It wasn't yet late, so after loading the dishwasher and switching it on, Joey got himself a beer and sat watching The World Made Yonder for the third time. Strange how his feelings were different each time he watched that movie. This time he felt sympathy for the heroine, caught in the no-win scenario of having to choose between a man who offered great sex and a man who offered security. Joey supposed that the ideal man would be both hot and secure, but how many men like that existed in real life? One in a hundred? One in a thousand? An inner voice chimed in: 'Probably the same as the number of women who are both beautiful and loyal.'

Joey went to bed that night pondering the question.

The following morning, the family had a muted breakfast. Celia looked pale and drawn, but she insisted on carrying on as normal, taking Stephen to school and going to work herself. Joey went to the office and quickly got caught up in the business of the day. He confided in Jeremy about what was happening, but told everyone else that his wife had showed up and things were fine.

Joey arrived home that evening to the sound of rock music blasting out from the living room. He went in and saw books and ornaments in piles on the floor, the shelves stripped bare and Celia wearing a headscarf and rubber gloves polishing the wood. She saw Joey and bent to the music centre on the carpet to turn it off.

'Hi there!' she said.

'Hello. Where's Stephen?'

'At his friend Kevin's. I bumped into Pam when I was at school to pick Stephen up and she agreed to take him. I wanted to finish spring cleaning the house.'

Joey frowned and looked at the clutter. Celia straightened up and looked him in the eye.

'I got fired,' she said. 'Apparently, my company takes a dim view of employees who call in sick, and then drive to another town to bash somebody's head in.'

'I do kind of see their point.'

'Yeah, me too.'

Joey swore and put his hands on his hips.

'It was because of my phone call, wasn't it?' he said.

'Hey!' Celia put her hand on his chest. 'Darling, it wasn't your fault. I didn't show up at school, so of course you called my office to look for me! Besides, I had to tell them sooner or later. At least now, it's all out in the open.'

Celia looked around, wondering how to proceed with her cleaning operation. Joey looked at her, wondering if she was even aware that she had just called him 'darling'. He remembered the police officers from yesterday and how he had felt in those few seconds before they told him of the arrest.

'Do you want a hand with this?' he said.

'No, no, no ... you've just finished a day's work.' She turned to him. 'Tell you what, though. Could you order some food? I fancy Thai for some reason. And Stephen is having dinner at Kevin's, so it'll just be the two of us.'

'I'm on it.'

About an hour later, Joey and Celia were sat at the dining table, spooning rice and food onto plates from plastic containers. Both of them used chopsticks and, as they ate, Celia continued her story.

The police and medics had arrived at Jackie's office at about the same time. The Cava bottle and paternity test results were bagged as evidence and Celia was driven to the police station. Once there, she was cautioned and then questioned, before a lawyer named Howard showed up and insisted on a private consultation. Her parents arrived and the rest of that afternoon and most of the evening was spent in a blur of questions, procedures and waiting around in sterile rooms.

'So, what happens next?' said Joey.

'Well, according to Howard, a serious case like this gets handled by the Crown Prosecution Service,' said Celia. 'They look at the results of the police investigation and decide on what the charges should be and whether to go ahead and prosecute.'

'How long will that take?'

'It depends. Howard says the most likely charge is "assault and battery" with an additional charge of either "actual bodily harm" or "grievous bodily harm".'

'What's the difference?'

'If Jackie has a scar, that's actual bodily harm. If she has brain damage, that's grievous.'

'I see. And what kind of sentences do they carry?'

'Between six months to five years in prison.'

'Shit!'

'Yeah.'

Celia put down her chopsticks and pushed back her hair.

'But Howard says the most important issue is intent.'

'How so?'

'If the Crown Prosecutor decides that I hit Jackie in a fit of temper, I'll be charged with what I've just said. But if they decide that I drove to Jackie's office with the intention of hurting her, that would be "aggravated assault with intent" or maybe even "attempted murder". Both of those carry a possible life sentence.'

'Jesus Christ, Celia!'

Celia sat rigid, staring into space, tears running down her face. When she spoke, she sounded like a broken robot.

'Howard says that ... Howard says that ... he says...'

Joey just pulled the woman's chair back, gathered her into his arms and sat her on his lap. Celia clung to him and wept, her body shaking. Joey held her tight and told her over and over that everything was going to be all right.

***************************

When the time came to pick Stephen up from Kevin's house, Celia insisted on going. 'I need to keep busy,' she said. Left alone in the house, Joey decided to put on his coat and go for one of his walks.

As he walked streets of terraced and semi-detached houses which gradually turned into the tree-lined avenues of the wealthy, Joey's mind gradually cleared. It now seemed obvious why Graham was so hostile and protective. He must be worried sick. Joey tried to imagine a grown-up Stephen in Celia's position and his guts instantly contracted. You love your child no matter what they do.

'Not true,' said an inner voice. 'The world is full of grown-up children who have been rejected, disowned or disavowed by their parents.' But Graham isn't one of them, thought Joey. Celia betrayed everything Graham stood for, everything he fought for ... and yet when push came to shove, he was there for his daughter. If that isn't love, what is?

Celia was home with Stephen by the time Joey got back. They were upstairs in the bathroom and Joey joined the evening routine of putting their son to bed. Usually, they took it in turns, so Stephen was loving having the attention of both parents at the same time. They even picked a story with a dialogue so that the two of them could tell it. When he snuggled down to go to sleep, Stephen was a very happy boy.

Celia and Joey went downstairs and, standing in the hallway, he gave her a hug. The two were stood holding each other when her phone rang.

It was her father.

Celia went into the kitchen-dining room and closed the door behind her. Twenty minutes later, Joey popped his head in to check and saw Celia scrubbing the inside of the oven, wire racks taken out and stacked in the sink. He left her to it and went into the living room, sitting on the couch with his feet up, his laptop balanced on his lap as he read emails and did work-related research.

It was getting late when Celia wandered into the living room. She closed the door, kicked off her pumps and went barefoot over to Joey. She gently and deliberately closed his laptop, put it to one side, and then lay next to him, her leg over his legs, her head on his chest. She smelled of grease and oven cleaner, which should have been off-putting but wasn't. Joey found himself putting an arm around her shoulder and pulling her closer. The woman snuggled in, her hand over his collar bone, her thumb stroking the skin of his neck.

'I have a request,' she said.

'Go on,' said Joey, already knowing what it was.

'Can I sleep with you tonight?'

Joey took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. He held Celia close, inhaling, exhaling, as he considered his answer. Celia's thumb stopped moving on his neck.

'What are you afraid of?' she said.

'I'm afraid of being a fool.'

He felt Celia jerk as she gave a silent laugh.

'Joey, my tricks don't work on you anymore. The days when I could manipulate you or guilt you into sleeping in the spare room are over. If anything, it's the other way around. And you know what?'

He felt Celia press her body against his.

'I like it this way,' she said. 'I wish we had been like this from the beginning.'

Joey held the woman as he weighed up what she said. He realised he believed her. Celia despised weakness, not just in him but in anyone. Even weak TV characters pissed her off. Everything she had just said was consistent with her past behaviour. Yet Joey also recognised how much his ego loved the idea that he had somehow 'tamed' a wild, amoral woman, and a satisfied ego was always a bad sign. He wanted to hear from his still, small inner voice before he made a decision.

'Did your father have any news?' he asked, changing the subject.

'Not really,' said Celia. 'He was just trying to cheer me up in that gruff, clumsy way of his.'

'What did he say?'

'Well, everyone is worried about the possibility of a life sentence.'

'Of course.'

'But Howard reckons there's less than a one percent chance of that happening. The witness statements corroborate my story and the bottle was at the scene since the night before, so it would be very hard to prove intent. I mean, no-one plans a murder by hoping there'll be a murder weapon lying around at the crime scene.'

'I suppose not.'

'Even so ... until I actually get a letter from the Crown Prosecutor, that one percent is hanging over my head like the Sword of Damocles.'

Joey blinked. He took a deep breath.

'Speaking of Swords of Damocles,' he said, 'there's something I need to tell you.'

'Oh? What is it?'

'I might have got Lorna pregnant.'

Joey felt Celia's entire body go rigid. She twisted her head to stare at him. Then, suddenly, she laughed, rolling off him onto her back. She clutched her stomach, her feet in the air, and laughed madly, like someone who finds a tin of food in a lifeboat only to realise that the tin-opener went down with the ship. Joey watched her, feeling somewhat unnerved.

'Oh, my God!' she cried. 'This is so fucked up!'

'Yeah.'

'What is this, Joe? Are you and me in some sort of contest to see who can fuck up their life the most?'

'If that is the case, I reckon you're still in the lead.'

'Don't count on it, matey! I may get eighteen months, but you're looking at eighteen years!'

Joey pushed himself up, sitting cross-legged with his back straight against the couch upholstery. Celia, by contrast, was lying flat on her back, looking up at him like a mischievous teenager.

'What are you grinning at?' he said.

'You!' said Celia. 'You act all holier-than-thou and then it turns out you're even worse than me!'

'I didn't cheat on anyone.'

'No, instead you knock up a girl who's crushing on you just to get even with me.'

'Don't flatter yourself.'

'What, you did it for her? Pull the other one!'

'She wanted me too!'

'Of course she wanted you to!'

Celia rolled up to sit cross-legged and she looked gleefully at Joey.

'She's in love with you!' said Celia. 'She probably hoped you'd leave me and marry her! Especially if you told her that Stephen was Bjorn's kid. Poor little lonesome Lorna...'

Joey sprang off the couch, teeth clenched, and walked to the centre of the room. He stood with his back to Celia, burning with humiliation. When he next heard her voice, it was laden with mockery.

'Have I got it all wrong?'

'Shut up, Celia!'

'Why? Are you going to tell me it was "special"?'

Joey rounded to face her. Celia was sitting up on the couch, holding her ankles and grinning like an imp.

'Yes,' he said. 'It was special.'

'Thought so!'

'I now know what it's like to come inside a woman who actually wants my baby.'

He said this to wipe the smile off Celia's face and it worked spectacularly. Celia leapt off the couch, eyes spitting fire, and advanced on the man.

'Don't give me that, you fucker!' she snarled. 'You and I were trying for a child months before I went to that party!'

'Yes, but the moment you clapped eyes on Bjorn, you changed your mind about me.'

'It wasn't like that...'

'Don't lie to me, Celia!'

Joey stared down at her, finger pointing.

'I asked you in this very room,' he bellowed, 'whether you wanted to have Bjorn's child, and you looked me right in the eye and said, "Yes!" And, on top of that, you went on to tell me that having my child would be "compromising your womanhood". Yes, I'm a piece of shit for dragging Lorna into this mess, but don't pretend I was the one who started this fucking war!'

Joey glared at the woman, daring her to deny it. Celia cowered before him, shoulders hunched, her anger gone as quickly as it had come. She looked around the room like an old woman who needed to sit down. The nearest seat was the square pouffe near the couch and Celia staggered over to it. She sat down, put her head in her hands and began to cry.

***************************

When Joey first met Celia eight years earlier, he had been instantly attracted to her. They were both at an art show and she was waiting for a friend. The two of them spent a hilarious half-hour together taking the piss out of the work before Celia's friend—who turned out to be Jackie—arrived and whisked her off. But Joey had got Celia's phone number and he told his flatmate that evening that he had met the woman he was going to marry.

'She's perfect wife material,' he had said.

As Joey now stood looking at the woman sitting on the pouffe weeping into her hands, he wondered how he could have been so blind. Celia was about as far from being the perfect wife as it was possible to get. The irony was that the woman before him was really no different to the woman he had met eight years ago. Celia's selfishness and solipsism were there from the beginning. Even the way Jackie had dismissed him without a word of reproach from Celia was a taste of things to come. But Joey had had a mental profile of the kind of woman he wanted to marry, and Celia ticked so many of the right boxes that he had ignored everything else.

Joey went over to the couch and sat wearily down. Celia's crying was coming to an end and she wiped her face with a ragged paper tissue.

'Do you want a fresh one?' said Joey.

'No, I'm fine,' said Celia.

She fiddled with the tissue, then looked over at the man on the couch.

'I'm surprised you're still here,' she said.

'Well, there's something still bugging me.'

'Oh, God, what now?'

Joey leaned forward and sighed. Celia frowned at the tissue, stuffed it into a pocket and moved to face Joey, mirroring his posture.

'All right, let me have it,' she said.

'I have this vivid memory,' said Joey, 'of you running out of the dining room waving the results of the paternity test in the air. As though you were really happy about it.'

'I was really happy about it!' cried Celia. 'I am really happy about it! You being Stephen's real father is the best fucking news I've had all year!'

'Then why did you tell me you wanted Bjorn's child?'

'Because I knew it would hurt you! Because I blamed you for what happened!'

'You blamed me for your cheating?'

'Yes! I thought that if you had made me happy in the marriage, I wouldn't have wanted to cheat.'

'Do you know how fucked up that sounds?'

'Of course I do!'

Celia pushed her hair back and looked her husband in the face.

'Joey, I am not claiming for one second that I was being rational! I was scared, emotional, completely fucked in the head! I'd been carrying this secret for over six years and now it was all coming out! I remember sitting right where you are now, drinking whiskey and thinking, 'My marriage is over! It's over!' And the only question was: Do I beg for forgiveness and get kicked out anyway, or do I go out in a blaze of glory? I chose for the blaze of glory ... and I couldn't believe it when you gave me a second chance!'

Celia kept looking at Joey. It was a frank look, without guile or deception, and Joey realised that he liked this honesty. He knew he was supposed to hate the woman in front of him, but he found it impossible. He sighed.

'What are your feelings about Bjorn now?' he said.

'I don't have any.'

'Really.'

'Yes, really!' said Celia. 'What I see now is that there were two Bjorns. There was a fantasy-Bjorn and there was the real Bjorn. And although it's not true to say that I was blind to the things that the real Bjorn did, they were never enough to break the spell of the fantasy-Bjorn.

'Until that phone call. When I found out that he not only slept with Jackie, but that he exchanges sex for money and favours as a side-line to his job ... well, the fantasy just collapsed. Once you see something like that, you can't unsee it. And I realised that my entire fascination with that man was based on a lie. And it wasn't even a lie that Bjorn had told me—it was a lie that I told myself. Does that make sense?'

Joey looked at the woman he had once thought of as 'perfect wife material'.

'Yes,' he said. 'It makes perfect sense.'

There was a silence. The two of them sat looking at each other. Then Celia rose and went to join Joey on the couch. She took his hand and held it in her lap.

'What do you want to do?' she said.

'I don't know,' said Joey.

'Well, I have a suggestion,' said Celia. 'Tomorrow, you're going to take one of your walks, and you're going to ask yourself the question: "What shall I do with this Celia bitch?" '

Joey smiled.

'And then,' continued Celia, 'you're going to listen to that little voice in your head, and you're going to do whatever that voice tells you to do.'

'How do you know it will speak in your favour?'

'I don't.'

Celia squeezed his hand.

'But I have my own little voice,' she said. 'And it's telling me to trust you with my life.'