All Comments on 'The Writer's Sister'

I like the pacing and concept very much and look forward to a second chapter.

5/5 loved it

You need an editor! The story has great potential but here are too many errors. The characters need further development. We have no idea how old they are or what they look like. More detail please.

More please, I enjoyed this and think its a great start to a sibling romance.

I, for one, enjoy stories that reflect normal pacing that allows for introspection and allowing the space to think out the possible paths. Well done, with the proverbial "cliff hanger".

There will be, I am sure, a follow up "next day" reporting.

As to the issue of age, for the purpose of publishing, they both are " 18 and over."

Fantastic job. Please continue. I followed so I wouldn't miss follow ups.

Good twist in story telling. Looking forward to chapter II

Great start. Lets see what comes up next

I liked this. Yes, there are areas where it could be tweaked, but overall a good read, a nice take on the concept, and well-handled.

The flow was bad, and the end was worse.

Anonymous is correct about the editor. As for their age, I don’t think we have to know, you could give descriptions, but I already know what I want them to look like. I like how you started this. Please continue.

I think that the story is incomplete as is. You need more of the feelings or thoughts of the sister.

This was amazing. I always considered what might happen if someone I know finds my stories. You also described a lot of stories I like to read and how I write some of my own. I also never liked the "rush to fuck" stories, often there's no real story there to enjoy. I can't wait to see what happens next with these characters, I can see a lot of potential here.

It's a shame you can't be bothered with something your character seems to think might be important.

You could get an editor, or better yet, an education instead of expecting a stranger to do for you (for free likein the story) what you should do yourself.

outstanding

Good story. Nice scenario. I like that you didn’t describe your characters. It’s interesting how their mom didn’t freak out at her daughter writing porn. It would be great to see how she reacts to both her kids writing porn.

Please keep writing

Sensitive and well done.

Hate 1/2 stories. If this was a chapter 1, you should have said so at the onset. Not a lot of description about the characters, physically or emotionally.

I have to agree with previous comments about the characters. Giving us an idea of what they look like can help get a good image of who you have in mind for us to imagine.

Other than that, this was a great story, a lot of fun to read. I cant wait to see how their relationship develops in the next chapter.

Good story ! I like te begining. The concept id quite original, maybe more details for the sex scenes but it’s just personnal.

Great job. I will read the next chapter if you write one.

I appreciate the direction that you tried to take, although it did seem a bit predictable. As someone else mentioned...the editing. I think that a writer should definitely proof their own work, but it is pretty hard to objectively review your own work - so I do think it should ultimately be looked over by a non-involved party as well.

Neat premise and sweet little story, but sorely in need of editing and proofreading with regard to spelling and punctuation.

I think I liked it over all, but I feel like the moral dilemma was just added for fluff because even though the characters acknowledged that it existed they didn't really seem to give an F' about it in the end and the ending itself was a liiil on the tame side. Bro coulda at least licked 'er out, ya know? If they're just gunna ignore and override it like that then there's not really much point in it being there at all.

I'd give it a 3/5 star rating. Well written and enjoyable but I found the story itself wanting because of what I stated above.

Also, you can ignore Cageysea, he doesn't have a single posted story on his profile and he enjoys being an asshole :)

More so intrigued by comments...

Maybe, most should get a editor for them...Then there is the lack of imagination, guess that explains the spelling and/or grammar.

I'm guessing there is a large amount of porn addiction in play....video doesn't require imagination or reading comprehension.

Ending sucks!

Maybe the best 2 pager on this website. Not an overly explained slog. Well done.

@Phoenix_Luster. Please explain in a rational manner exactly how what I may or may not have written had anything to do with the validity of my comment

As reward for that, I will provide a like that just proves I have actually published here, and could even provide a link where you could read most of it. That second link is possibly hazardous, since it is a site that steals from this one. I can give it to you though, if you're brave.

I expect to hear a great horde of crickets now.

Great story. I wonder if at the end Millie is expecting her brother to try something more than just cuddling.

Really interesting.You made me realize something about my own life. Why the whole incest thing was never an issue.

It was because my parents, my father specifically, had told me so many lies, so much pure bullshit in the form of rules and mores, it was snap easy to categorize that as just one more of them. He was a miserable horrid person who never should have been allowed to live, let alone reproduce. And I have suffered from it all my life in many ways.

Thanks, I needed to say that.

Your story was such an unusual take on this whole topic. And it works so well. You likely won’t reply, but I am wondering if this story was 100% dreamed up, or you are sharing a bit of your childhood with us? Surely, I cannot be the only person who wonders if these excellent works are from memories rather than pure imagination. I have issues with this web site

and using their pm system. If you do reply, please use my real email, portmushroom at yahoo dot com. That doesn’t look like an external email, but anyone should be able to figure it out.

Regardless of your replying, Your story was thought provoking. I cannot say it was physically stimulating, but that doesn’t matter. Thought provoking is so much deeper. And I bet if you were simply trying to write one for the crank bank, you would have included a lot more of the physical stuff than you did. I am betting this was a brain twister from the first paragraph. Good Job!

Al

3 comments to 3 anons below my comment,

1. No. The story made it very clear she wanted to go slowly. That’s why she nixed any sex that night. It is there in black and white.

2. To anonymous #2. I agree, you understand. And that’s a great description. Best 2 pager on the site.

3. To anonymous #3. Or should I say wanker #1? If you had not skim read looking for the juicy bits, you would have realized this was not headed out to be a crank yanker and you would not have run out of story with your dick in your hand.

Very Good Story!

Loved the premise, somewhat disappointed in the ending. My preference would have been to have the brother provide oral relief for his sister as well, or at least fingered her to completion. Just seemed a bit "one-sided."

When is the second part

Why didn't the brother orally satisfy his sister, as thanks for the blowjob?

A compelling story,and touched the conflict, taboo, the emotional, and physical. There are many signals, looks, hesitantion, expression, posture,distance and more. Your story used effectively, great story. Makes the stories more real to life.

Bravo. I liked it. I liked so much that I bookmarked it and came back to read it again. The typos and word choice challenges were a very small distraction from a well-written story. Every story I have ever started was filled with all the errors and clumsiness you describe. Well told, with an economy of words. Thank you.

[04.08.22]

Tres Romantique und Zweet!

11/10!!!!!