The Writing of A Hard Day's Night

This short essay was inspired by the thread What I wrote and why: Fairytale of New York, which was posted in The Author's Hangout by StillStunned.

A Hard Day's Night is a short (11,000 word) story, which was published on Literotica on October, 26 2023. It is one of my worst performing stories, if you pay any credence to ratings (4.01 / 5.00 at the time of writing).

On the surface, it is a simple story about a day in the life of an Asian-American escort, working between Pennsylvania and New Jersey. However, as with all but the most straightforward of my stories, there are other issues being addressed.

I wanted to walk people through my writing process. Not in great detail, but with some commentary on choices I made and areas in which I felt I fell short of what I wanted to do.

To an extent, this essay is about the disconnect between authorial intent and the interpretations brought to a story by readers. Only the most competent of writers can hope to regularly bridge this divide. I'm in no way the most competent of writers.

I also routinely use my writing to work through either things that are on my mind, or difficulties that I have experienced in different parts of my life. While this normally brings therapeutic benefits to me, it is a somewhat perilous thing to do. Especially given the intent / interpretation divide I mention above. How are readers meant to understand context, particularly when I may wish to obfuscate some things from a privacy point of view?

I hope that this essay is of some use to other authors, who may have analogous processes. Maybe general readers will also find some things of interest in it.

CAVEAT: The text contains spoilers throughout. If you intend to read the story, maybe do that first. Then, as I say, it's far from my finest work.

ADVISORY: I refer, albeit somewhat obliquely, to various events in my personal life. Despite the intentional lack of detail, some readers may find these upsetting. I did.

I've been writing for nearly a year and a half now. I've written over fifty stories in that time. But... these are the only fifty stories I have written, since leaving college. I'm not a writer who has turned their hand to erotica. It's effectively all I have ever written. And it's all been in the last eighteen months.

Also, when I say over fifty stories, only two have been major works. The Coleoidphilia Trilogy (62,000 words) and Heaven and Hole (32,000 words). I believe that no other story reaches 20,000 words, even adding up chaptered works. Quite a few of my stories are in the 1,000 -- 5,000 word range.

I did some English-related classes at college, but I majored in Biology, with minors in Chemistry and Anthropology. I have an M.S. in Biology as well. So I'm science girl. But... I have always loved reading. I used to read books way above my age. I struggled with creative writing however, mostly I lacked inspiration for plots and characters.

Which is where erotica came in. Though I started late, I have had a lot of sexual experiences, good and bad. I could write about them. As for characters? Well I could write about me and my friends. Or at least fictionalized versions of us. So I did.

Somewhere along the line, I realized that I wasn't totally terrible. With a small increase in confidence, I started to be more inventive. Now, I mostly write entirely made-up stories. So I've come a little way. However, another chunk of my fifty plus stories are still quasi-autobiographical; i.e. I didn't have to worry too much about what happens and to whom.

TL:DNR despite having written a lot of stories, I'm still a very inexperienced writer. I am acutely aware of how much I have to learn. Especially when I read stories by people like MelissaBaby and onehitwanda.

A Hard Day's Night was essentially a "release story." What do I mean by that? Well I was in the middle of writing my Teaching Eden series, and a bit lost as to what happened next and why. I was frankly stuck.

In discussions with someone on this site, I raised the concept of a sex worker who was married. My idea was that sex workers could have "normal" aspects to their lives. I decided that I'd try to write it. Not least to unblock myself with Teaching Eden. This became A Hard Day's Night (AHDN).

The initial chat was on October, 19 2023. I finished the story October, 23 2023. Bear in mind, writing is a hobby. I work and have some semblance of a social life. I don't know how many hours I spent on the story, but not many. It shows. Then it was never really intended as a major project, just a set of ideas I wanted to play with.

I did no new research for AHDN, but I did do some for my earlier story, The Pornstar Experience (TPE). For reasons I won't expand on, I am slightly acquainted with a woman who works in the adult entertainment industry. She was super kind to me at a very low point in my life. One reason I have a positive attitude towards sex workers. I guess we're not really friends, but I'll use that term as shorthand.

It's not my friend's primary business, but she does do some escorting and other related activities. This is at the stupidly expensive end of the spectrum. People pay a lot to have time with a well-known performer. TPE was about another woman in the same industry (the clue is in the title). So, back then, I asked my friend a few questions by email. I leveraged her feedback extensively for TPE and later, to a lesser degree, for AHDN. It is however worth noting that Lauren / Mimi is a different type of sex worker to the woman I know.

These were really simple.

From a story point of view, I wanted to cover:

1. Sex workers are people too
2. Some sex workers choose their job (while I know that others don't)
3. Some sex workers can have settled family lives
4. Not making it a sad "my life is awful" dirge story -- there are enough of them; they often make sex workers martyrs not people
5. Give the FMC some agency, but - given her line of work - limited agency
6. Someone can go through a lot and come out OK (the heroine's Odyssey I guess)

From a writing point of view, I only had two objectives:

1. Don't overly fetishize the sex (some fetish aspects are inevitable)
2. Give each location a sense of place

I was actually pretty pleased how the last item worked out. It was the one goal I was satisfied that I had achieved.

Finally, what I was not looking to write was a piece of journalistic documentary. This was not an exposé of the dark world of sex work. It was a story. That doesn't mean that I had nothing to say, but the focus was intentionally not on the undoubtedly grim realities. The focus was on Lauren / Mimi surviving and even thriving; it was on her being essentially a good person, and a loved person.

AHDN is intended to be a positive story. My execution was undoubtedly flawed, but I make no apology whatsoever for my vision for the story. It's an entirely valid vision.

What I was going to do now, was go through various of the sections. But, it won't be precisely in the same order as the story. This is because some of my motivations have a chronology that is different to Lauren / Mimi's day.

Bear in mind that my end goal was always that she was married. The idea of a child was suggested by something else, which I won't explain. I wrote the ending directly after the second chapter (The Hotel). So I always knew where I was going. Unlike what I often do, I didn't want to lay a trail of breadcrumbs. My thinking was that Lauren / Mimi probably gets by via compartmentalizing. So she'd be pretty focused on not having maternal thoughts impinge on her work.

From a story, point of view. I also wanted a series of vignettes. Each illustrating some aspect of her work. I would assume that Lauren / Mimi's actual day would be rather more repetitive. But that would be deeply boring as fiction.

I wanted one encounter that was a sort of facsimile of actual love-making (something my friend had talked about). I wanted something extreme as a counterpoint to that. Hence the BDSM diversion. I'll talk about the Frat House shortly. And I wanted one scene where Lauren / Mimi was more of a social worker (again based on discussions with my friend -- she said that some clients want a cuddle and talk, even when they have paid for sex). But most of all I wanted variety. This of course made her day really more of a compound of many days.

Another thing I was certain about was I didn't want a back story for Lauren / Mimi. No, my parents died and I had to go on the street to pay for my five younger siblings to eat. Lauren / Mimi is not a Thomas Hardy heroine. She is a businesswoman. She went to college. She's pretty financially stable. It's implied that she may be the main breadwinner. So I just let her be. Let her exist and do what she does.

However... I did want to touch on the relentlessness of the work. Fuck after fuck after fuck. Lauren / Mimi is not cheap, but she still needs multiple appointments in a day and is thus expert at coping with the transitions.

Broadly speaking the first and last clients are based on actual discussions with my friend. The middle two aren't. And I'll explain this shortly.

So on to the chapters...

Really just scene-setting. I've kinda become the queen of anal douching. I've included it in other works.

I knew I was in trope-territory with an Asian FMC. So I was keen to twist that trope round, make her a Jersey Girl. I also didn't want her to be a teen. I went for a few years older than me. Maybe a few signs of her three decades, but still in good shape. I don't mention too much about her physical characteristics, save that she likes how her breasts and ass look.

I also wanted to reference that the work was sometimes arduous and even injurious, also that she has to deal with clients of all sorts.

From my friend, I knew that working girls at Lauren / Mimi's level mostly have drivers who act as bodyguards. But I wanted her to face her journey alone. Unrealistic maybe, but it served the story I wanted to tell. I wanted it to be her Lara Croft-like entering a tomb. I believe this is called artistic license.

I said that I'd explain this chapter, and I'm taking it out of order, for reasons that will become apparent.

I'm sad to say that there is little love lost between me and frat boys. I had two significant problems with different ones at college. The first was a deeply upsetting betrayal of trust and invasion of privacy. The second was a lot more serious. Like police and hospital serious.

So this chapter is plain revenge porn. I wanted Lauren / Mimi to go into that house alone. I wanted her to take control. I wanted her to escape unscathed using her wits. This was entirely because it wasn't what happened to me in real life. Using very basic psychology, it's analogous to my demon and angel duo, Emma and Lily, being impervious to sexual assault. It's pure wish fulfillment.

I also wanted some humor after the ordeal of The Mansion. I kinda like the dialog here. It's exaggerated, but feels real to me. I am also wanted a more robust reason why Lauren / Mimi was so altruistic in the penultimate chapter. She had made a lot of money for doing very little.

The rest of the chapters are now covered in the same order as in the story.

As above, this scene could almost have been an experienced woman guiding a less experienced boyfriend through some new kink. I was struck that my friend said that some clients were sweet and considerate. And that others expressed remorse and didn't want to go through with the session.

I kinda mixed all that up to have a sweet start, knowing what was coming next. I went out of my way to suggest that this was abnormal for Lauren / Mimi, but not unheard of.

The other thing hinted at here, and expanded on in greater depth later in The Apartment, was around why people might visit sex workers. As with the motivations of sex workers themselves, I assumed this to be complicated. You could argue that the MCs in the middle two client scenes were both rather tropey. I wanted something else for the first and last ones. I may have veered into sentimentality in the process; I do that a lot, it's a flaw.

So this is the chapter which I'm probably least happy with. Let's start with motivations. Some time after my second frat boy problem -- and not unrelated to it, with the benefit of hindsight -- I got myself into a situation that I was confident I could handle, but which I really couldn't. I also found I had no viable option for getting myself out of it. I had to just wait for the situation to end. Again, I'm not going to expand further.

This was what I had as the subtext for The Mansion. In real life, the other people involved were rich and older. Hence the MC here. But, as above, he became a too stereotypical "villain." My real life experience was nothing to do with BDSM. I transplanted it to this paradigm, maybe as a coping mechanism; I'm not sure.

Anyway, this was a mistake on my part. The flaw being that I like BDSM of the sort described. While I tried to make it clear that Lauren / Mimi did not share my enthusiasm, I think the author's personal feelings leaked in.

TL:DNR -- I got aroused writing it. My attempt at dissociation was way too successful. This meant the chapter doesn't really have the vibe I initially wanted. It also led to the acts being much more fetishized than I was originally aiming for. I think I wholly failed in this respect. It became a normal Emily Miller BDSM story.

Also, from my own point of view, it was a pretty vanilla session, one I wouldn't think twice about quick recovery from. I projected myself too much onto Lauren / Mimi here. I should have caught this bad tonality in editing, but I didn't. It's probably my biggest mistake in the story.

Which leads me to some advice I received from an author I respect recently. They said to take more time. To let stories mature. I should have done this with AHDN, but -- like the total amateur I am -- I was eager to just publish.

This is a learning for me.

Here I return to two themes present in a lot of my work from Fragile onwards, namely broken people and the potential of sex to heal, to be a force for good. I have been broken and project myself onto those characters. But -- in an Emma and Lily duality sort of way -- I also project myself onto the healer. I guess I just like the idea of healing myself.

Beyond that, I wanted a quiet passage for Lauren / Mimi before the coda. There had been dramatic events in the previous two chapters, I thought the story needed a pause to draw breath. I also wanted a switch between action and emotion. I think I managed this better than I did most of my other objectives.

I also wanted to reinforce that Lauren / Mimi was, at heart, a good person. That her job had not jaded her or made her immune to human empathy. I think I achieved this as well.

Beyond that, I don't have too much to say about this chapter.

So, rather than being tacked on, the intent was that this final chapter was the cornerstone. As in other parts of the story, my execution was uneven, at best.

What I wanted to do was to say that not all sex workers are tragic, tuberculosis-ridden Victor Hugo heroines (or reimagined 2020s versions of them). Some undoubtedly have problems of abuse and addiction to deal with. Some are clearly coerced into this life. But not all. I wasn't seeking to speak for all sex workers, just a subset.

I think this was maybe too lofty an ambition for me at this stage in my evolution as an author. I wanted to end on a note of warmth and love. Maybe this was too much of a leap for some readers. But it's what felt right to me. I am basically a hopeless romantic. We can have different opinions on whether my choice was right or wrong.

Before I start on this section, I wanted to reference triggering. This is a minefield. With any number of people reading a work, it is close to impossible to anticipate what might trigger someone. It's also impossible to provide warnings for every type of content. I do occasionally include upfront advisories. This is normally in stories that include obvious red flags, like urination / piss-drinking (lesbian mostly in my case, outside gang bangs), or anal fisting / insertions.

But that's it. I don't write to avoid triggering people. I don't try to flag everything that might trigger someone, because that's a Sisyphean task. I think avoiding any potentially triggering content is a terrible straitjacket.

The corollary is that some readers will be triggered by my work. It's not an outcome I seek, but it's also not something I want to adapt my writing to avoid (even if it was possible).

So, back to intent versus interpretation. In the above text, I have explained what inspired (if that is the word in some cases) various elements of my story. I've explained what I was trying to do, and outlined some areas in which I think I failed.

How to close the gap between intent and interpretation? It's a conundrum. I could add extensive endnotes (I have done this in some other stories), but that doesn't feel like a massively good artistic choice; it's kinda lumpen. I could somehow weave an alternative version of my own broader experiences into the narrative, but that would bloat the story. And I neither wanted to write a novella, nor thought that the subject matter would support this.

I suppose this gets me back to the peril I mentioned before. In a story with no connections to reality, then this sort of thing is much more manageable. If I rely on even quite twisted versions of real events to underpin the plot, then I don't really see how it is possible to avoid reader confusion on occasion.

I think of A Perfect Spy by the late David Cornwell, one of my favorite authors. This is widely acknowledged as quasi-autobiographical. But Cornwell was a great writer, he could carry it off. And he had 156,000 words in which to tie up everything. My meagre 11,000 was barely enough to just tell the story.

I suppose what I am saying is, for hobbyist authors, we must write what we want to and accept that it may not be understood; in part, or at all. Perhaps as I get better as a writer, I will figure out how to handle this area. Somehow I doubt it. For now, I'll simply rely on a personal variant of Wellington's famous words: