All Comments on 'The Young Mage Ch. 01'
by AwkwardlySet
- 20 Comments
IC_Thru_U5 months agoSo glad to be going on the journey to find his sister. Not gonna lie, a small part of me was hopeful that the dog he healed would surprise Magnus by following him and becoming a faithful companion. Do magic users have familiars in your Magnus' world? Would be fun to see what special bond magic could produce with a familiar.
AwkwardlySet5 months agoAuthorThat is definitely an interesting idea. The dog episode was just a character moment, to show that even if he is a powerful mage now, he is still the man who would use magic to help a stray dog.
You have given me an idea, though, one I might use in the series that follows.
Thank you for the great feedback, as always :)
mycpr15 months agoFirst of thank you. I have only read one other story a second time , this is the a story worth a second read.
As for the Richard Cranium giving you all that trouble I say have a coke and a smile then move the F on. Keep doing what you enjoy there are a lot more people that enjoy your work than you think. Just keep doing what you love if someone dislikes your writing then DO NOT READ IT DUMB ASS,
Anonymous5 months agoThis is a much better chapter length for you, it just feels more enjoyable to read. I'll wait and see what length the overall story is, but this is a good start. You need to think about your descriptions of the sounds your characters make during sex, the way you're doing it here is simplistic and juvenile. Same with your capitalisation of "AAEEOOOWW!!", "OHHH, GODDSS!" and "AARRRGGGHHHH!!!". At the moment, you write like a high-school student. You've got a lot of room to grow.
AwkwardlySet5 months agoAuthorThank you all for the feedback! A small reminder for everyone who sends the feedback to my email through "contact" feature on the author's page. You need to leave an email if you want a response from me :)
Jimdog325265 months agoThanks for reposting this. It is still one of my favorite series on the site. Hopefully by the time you get to the point where everything previously posted is done, you will have a couple of new chapters ready to go, then keep putting them out.
Anonymous5 months agoEntertaining story, but where have I read it before….. is this a re release of an earlier story
sirwoodcutter5 months agoI had previously read the first 2 chapters of the apprentice. I've reread them again today with the later chapters. Also read this first chapter. Sure there were odd mistakes, "tomorrow morning they got ready" perhaps should have been the next day. Ultimately I had no problem reading anything you wrote, no paragraphs I had to reread to understand. Thus you succeed in communicating your story well.
To be honest I do actually prefer larger chapters. If reading a book I don't put it down after just a few chapters. Thanks for your stories and you can't write so much without a passion. I look forward to reading the next chapter. 5star
Anonymous5 months agoExcellent story that seemed very familiar although it was just as good as what I got to enjoy before. I can’t wait to read more of the adventures of the intrepid young mage.
Anonymous5 months agoWonderful writing! I like seeing Magnus on his own, with more freedom and less guidance than when he was with Fiona. Looking forward to your writing, and hopefully to an apprentice of Magnus' own!
AwkwardlySet5 months agoAuthorThank you all for the kind words! It is fun to see you take your guesses as to where the story will go. I'll just drop a few hints as to the direction Magnus' story will take in the future. After "The Apprentice" and "The Young Mage" I have ideas and plans for as many as three or four series with Magnus as the protagonist. As to where the story will go, I will just say "High Fantasy". Expect events bigger than local or regional. This is all assuming I keep the motivation to write. As fun as it can be, it takes so, so much time and effort to write these novel-sized stories ;)
AwkwardlySet@AwkwardlySet
