Their Forbidden Love Ch. 04

All night I tossed and turned thinking about what Jonathan said. He missed me, I thought, running my fingers through my hair, struggling to hear Mr. Atkins. I was so confused about what to do. Should I just forget what happened Saturday night and go back to Jonathan? Should I listen to Darrel and stay away from him? Why was Darrel so upset when seeing me with Jonathan? "God, this sucks," I said under my breath, looking up at the ceiling while Darrel talked in the front of the class. I hadn't talked to him since he dropped me off at home from his father's garage.

He glanced at me before turning to face the chalkboard, erasing the notes he wrote for his lecture. "How is it going?" he asked, looking at me over his shoulder.

I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at my notebook. I wrote nothing in the past twenty minutes. He offered to help me with my work, but I had so much on my mind I couldn't focus. "It's not," I replied and he walked towards me, rubbing the chalk residue from his hands.

"This isn't like you," he whispered, leaning against the back of the chair in front of me.

"I just have so much on my mind right now." I hid my face in my hands. "I have no idea what I'm doing," I said muffled into my hand.

"How did you sleep?" asked Mr. Atkins, sliding into the empty desk next to me.

"I didn't," I sighed, brushing my hair behind my ear.

"I heard you were arguing in the hall."

I nodded, still feeling embarrassed about that as if it wasn't bad enough that my heart was broken, but everyone in school knew about it. "I just don't get why he can't just leave me alone. He told me the truth, but there he is begging me to hear him out."

"He's an idiot."

"Did your dad give you a hard time about what happened?"

He smiled slightly and shook his head. "No, my dad is all talk."

I looked at him, blindly drawing circles in my notebook. "I felt horrible about what happened. Maybe taking me to the carnival wasn't such a good idea."

He turned as much as he could in the tight spaced desk to face me. "Did you have fun?" I nodded, smiling when remembering how nice it was. "Then don't worry about what happened after. I wanted to take you and I had a good time. My dad or Jonathan could never make me regret putting a smile on your face."

God, he was amazing. Why did he have to be older than me? Why did he have to be my teacher? Why did he have to be Jonathan's brother? "Why are you so nice to me?"

"I just hate how the wrong guy gets the girl and treats them like shit." He lowered his head and his eyes rolled up to me. "You deserve better than that. What he did to you was wrong." I gave him a little smile. It was obvious he was nothing like his brother. "And I told him after hurting you the way he did, he had no right to make decisions for you anymore."

"Thank you, Mr. Atkins. You've done so much for me and I know it can't be easy with him being your brother."

"For you, it comes easier than you think." I looked down at his hand on top of mine. His hand was so gentle and warm. "I want you to know I'm here if you ever need anything."

"Thank you." All I could do was look at him. I knew I should have left, but I didn't want to. "Mr. Atkins...?"

"Yes?"

I knew I was walking on forbidden grounds with the question I wanted to ask, but I took a chance anyway. "Did you really mean what you said in the car? You know, about me being beautiful?" I swear I could see sweat build along his forehead almost instantly.

"We shouldn't talk about this, Carmen." Hearing him say my first name was even sexier at school.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I asked." I rubbed the back of my neck, squeezing the skin tight.

"I wouldn't say anything I didn't mean, not to you."

I felt like I couldn't breathe. He just stared at me, caressing the top of my hand with his thumb. Just like at the carnival and when he dropped me off, I wanted to kiss him. Being there alone with him with his hand on mine, and his eyes bright as he looked at me made me want to feel his lips against mine. He let out a hard sigh before taking his hand off mine.

"God, this is wrong," he whispered, running his fingers through his hair. "The only thing I could think about after dropping you off was you." I could have sworn my heart stopped. "Man," he breathed, gripping the front edge of the desk. "You have no idea how being with you, making you smile has changed me."

"What do you mean?"

He looked up at the ceiling, rubbing his thumbs against the wood of the desk. "Seeing how upset you were about Jonathan pained me. At first my intentions for taking you to the carnival was to make you feel better. But when we got there and I was feeding you my funnel cake, won you the bear, and held you on the Ferris wheel...I..." He paused, looking straight ahead. "I couldn't stop wishing our time together was more than just me trying to make you feel better."

"Why?"

"Fuck," he whispered, rubbing his hands along his face. "This shouldn't be happening."

I looked at him as he struggled to sit still, shaking his leg under the desk up and down fast. "Is that why you were mad when I went to talk to Jonathan?" He looked at me and nodded his head. "Is that why you..." I paused trying to find the right way to ask, "were staring at me when you caught us in the bathroom?" I continued, holding my breath as I waited for him to answer.

He stood and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fuck," he breathed, shaking his head.

I lowered my head, listening to the sound of his shoes as he paced back and forth. "When we were on the Ferris wheel and you held me when I was cold, made me want to-"

"Don't say it, please," he said, cutting me off. He looked down at me, shaking his head. "Damn it, Carmen," he whispered, squatting down in front of me. "I know what you're thinking and no matter how much I... Nothing could ever come from this."

"I bet you wish you could take back not regretting making me smile."

He held my hand and looked in my eyes as they started to water a little. "No, no I don't." He let go of my hand and lowered his head. "Miss. Lawson...I..." There it was again, my last name, his way of dismissing everything. "Let's just do your chapter." He sat back down in the chair next to me.

What? How could he expect me to act like nothing happened? How could he ask me that after telling me how he felt-well, almost telling me? "So, that's it?" I asked, hearing the change in my voice as he looked at me. "I've had a crush on you for months and you tell me you like me too and expect things to be like before? You're kidding, right?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." He rubbed his forehead. "You're a very beautiful young woman," he breathed. "And being that I'm your teacher and you're my student, it would be wrong to imply that the admiration I have toward you is anything more than just that." I had no idea what he was talking about. All I knew was that he had admitted that he felt the same way for me as I did for him. "But I can't deny that I do find you attractive," he whispered. "I have since the second you stepped foot in my classroom. It's like I was looking at an angel."

Oh my god, he knew exactly what to say. I felt like my heart was fluttering and I couldn't see straight. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"How could I? You're my student, Carmen. There is no way that anything could happen between us."

"Oh," I sighed, lowering my head.

"When you started dating my brother, I thought I could just ignore how I felt about you. And for a while I did. It wasn't until seeing you walking that night that I realized what I was feeling was more than a physical attraction."

I couldn't believe I was hearing what I was hearing. My sexy teacher that I've crushed on for months, fantasized about, had feelings for me. "I feel the same way about you." Saying the words aloud, confessing them to him, was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Just knowing he had the same thoughts as I did made me squirm against the chair.

"God, Carmen," he breathed, gripping the edge of the desk tighter than before.

"Well, now I'm not with your brother."

He shook his head. "I know, but that doesn't change anything. Nothing could happen beyond this conversation."

"So we're supposed to just pretend?"

He took my notebook and looked at what I scribbled on the sheet. "What do you want your story to be about?"

Yup, I thought. I couldn't believe that after wanting him, being confused about my feelings for him and Jonathan I had to forget everything. "I'm going to write a story about a girl who wants to be with her teacher, but he wants to pretend he doesn't feel the same way for her."

He sighed, lowering his head, dropping my notebook on the desk top. "Carmen," he breathed. He turned his head to look at me, pinching his lips together. "You have no idea how hard this is for me."

"It doesn't have to be hard."

"I could lose my job, Carmen. If anything were to happen between us I would lose my job."

It wasn't that he didn't want anything to happen between us. It wasn't that he was worried about hurting Jonathan. He didn't want to lose his job, his career, his purpose. "I'm sorry," I breathed, feeling the pain of having my heart broken twice in one week.

"Maybe it would be better if we do this some other day," he advised, closing my notebook before sliding it along my desk.

"I will stop, I promise." Although I wanted to feel his lips against mine, to feel his arms take me in, I rather pretend that nothing happened than to lose the little of him I had.

"I want to hold you...kiss you, but we can't. You understand, right?"

"I understand, but I don't like it."

He lowered his head and sighed. "I know. I don't either."

"Okay, let's get this done," I groaned, opening my notebook.

* * * *

We were quiet on the way to his car. If I would have known the day would have ended like that, I would have had my mom pick me up. "Not again," I huffed when seeing Jonathan in the parking lot.

"I knew I would find you two together," Jonathan growled, tossing the burnt cigarette in a puddle.

Darrel gently held my wrist, holding me back. "He was just helping me with my work," I explained, becoming upset over his inability to leave me alone. "What are you doing here? There's no one around for you to embarrass me in front of," I said, crossing my arms, looking at the empty parking lot.

"Go away, Darrel," Jonathan ordered, lowering his head, watching the splashes of water as he kicked his foot.

"He doesn't have to go anywhere. And I don't have anything to talk to you about." I took Darrel's hand and walked to his car. "Darrel is taking me home and I don't want you following us. Just leave me alone, Jonathan," I cried, wiping the tears under my eyes.

"I'll take you home." Jonathan slowly walked toward us.

I looked at him, shaking my head. "How could you think after what you did to me, after you embarrassed me in front of the entire school, I would want to go anywhere with you?"

"Carmen, please," he whispered, taking my hand, leading me away from Darrel. I knew Darrel was pissed, wanted to get me as far away from Jonathan as possible. "I'm sorry for earlier," he whispered, holding my hand, caressing it softly like he used to. "Seeing you talking to Ethan after what he did just set me off."

I pulled my hand away. "What do you mean after what he did?" I shouted, closing my fists tight. "That's your problem. Instead of pointing fingers at yourself, you want to blame other people." I relaxed my hands and looked at him. "I just need space, Jonathan. After everything you've done, all we've been through, that's the least you can do."

He pinched his lips together after licking them. "Okay, space," he whispered, stepping back. He looked at Darrel and I could see his jaw working. "I'll give you your space," he said to me, but he was still looking at Darrel.

I went with Darrel to his car and sighed, fighting the urge to look back at Jonathan. I sat in the car and put my book bag on the floor in between my feet when Darrel handed it to me. "Are you okay?" he asked, sitting in his seat.

I nodded my head, pinching my lips tight, biting them together. He pulled out of the parking space and my eyes looked up to see Jonathan sitting on the trunk of his car staring at the car as we slowly drove away. "No," I cried, holding my stomach as I cried uncontrollably.

"Shit," he breathed, turning the corner and pulled over. "Carmen," he whispered, rubbing my back. I looked down, watching the tear drop to my shoes. "I hate that he's doing this to you." He held me, squeezing me tight as I cried against his chest.

"I don't know what I'm doing. Everything was so simple three days ago. I was madly in love with him and I thought he felt the same about me." I wiped the tears under my eyes when he kissed the top of my head, inhaling the scent of my hair. "Maybe I should just get back together with him. Maybe it won't hurt anymore."

He let go of me and looked at me. "You can't do that."

"Why not?" I breathed, seeing Jonathan's face when I closed my eyes as if I stared into the sun.

"Because he doesn't deserve you," he answered, caressing my cheek with his thumb. He stared at me, breathing hard before kissing me. He pressed his lips hard against mine, taking my breath away. I breathed hard through my nose as I kissed him back. "You can't get back together with him, because I want you," he whispered, staring into my watery eyes.

"But what about what you said about losing your job?" Stupid, I thought, hating myself for asking him that, for reminding him what was standing in our way.

He ran his fingers through my hair and held the back of my head to kiss me again. Oh, god how I've dreamt about that moment, wanted it more than anything before going out with Jonathan. "I don't want to regret not showing you how amazing you are." He smiled and held my hand as he pulled back into the street. I couldn't stop smiling, couldn't forget the feel of his lips against mine.

After our kiss all I wanted to do was be with him. He was trying to make me forget about Jonathan and there was no doubt it worked. "I don't want to go home," I whispered, rubbing his forearm as he drove in the direction of my house.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked, looking in between me and the road. I took his hand and put it in between my thighs. It felt like I was dreaming, there was no way what happened was real. He let out a hard breath and squeezed my inner thigh, making me whimper from the pressure of his grip.

"God, I want you, Darrel."

He looked up at the street sign before making a right turn down an abandoned shopping center. He parked the car and turned off the ignition before grabbing me by my waist, twisting his body to face me, kissing me hard. "God," he breathed, resting his forehead against the curve of my neck.

"You can't have any regrets now," I whispered, slouching against the seat, gripping his hair in between my fingers.

He pushed his seat back and pulled me into his lap. "No, no regrets," he whispered, holding my hips before kissing me. I was in heaven. I thought there was nothing better than Jonathan, nothing that could make me feel so amazing. The way I felt in his arms, his lips felt against mine, I knew I was wrong.

I broke our kiss and looked down at him. "Don't make me wait," I begged, lifting up my skirt over my hips. I wanted him, needed him. I closed my eyes tight when he slowly lifted my shirt, exposing my bra. He looked over me, exploring every inch before kissing the lace fabric of my bra. "Oh my god," I moaned, throwing my head back when he pulled down my bra and took my entire nipple in his mouth. I bit my bottom lip and looked down at him as my nipple disappeared in between his lips. His eyes met mine as he sucked on it, lapping his tongue against my flesh. "God, don't stop," I breathed, slowly rocking my hips, getting a grunt from him as response. "I want your cock inside me." The words sparked an instant reaction. "Oh, yes," I purred when feeling his hand in between my legs, rubbing hard against my pussy, teasing me. "Please," I begged, rocking against his hand, wanting more, much more. "Let me fuck you, Darrel. Let me come so hard for you."

"Fuck, Carmen," he huffed, squeezing my breast hard, holding it against his cheek. My panties were so wet against my flesh I couldn't stand it. The pain of wanting him so much made it harder to think straight, to plan my course of action. I knew I wanted him. I pulled at the zipper of his slacks, feeling his cock hard as I pulled and tugged at the crotch of his pants. I bit my bottom lip as I sprung him free, watched his eyes clench tight as I worked my hand up and down, squeezing his shaft tight on my way up. "Oh god," he grunted, resting his head on the headrest. I leaned forward to kiss the curve of his neck while I continued milking him, stroking him until I was truly ready. He moaned and breathed hard, rocking against the back of the chair.

"Oh, yes," I moaned when rubbing his cock against the fabric of my panties, feeling his head stretch the material as it fought its way inside. I moved my panties to the side. "Oh god," I moaned when slowly sliding onto his cock. It was more than I imagined as he filled me.

"Oh my god," he groaned, closing his eyes tight, gripping the steering wheel tight. "Oh my god," he repeated. I bit my lip to keep my screams from drowning out the sounds of my wet pussy swallowing his cock. I grabbed the back of his head, rocking slow and long circles against his lap. "You feel so... God, so fucking amazing," he breathed, grabbing my hips, pulling me harder against him.

"Oh, shit," I breathed, resting my forehead against his when feeling my orgasm hit me like a tornado. "Oh yes, Darrel, yes," I cried, holding my body still against his as my orgasm came in waves. By that point my ears were ringing so loud I couldn't hear a thing. He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around me, holding my lower back as his hips thrust up to meet me, fucking me while I tried to catch my breath.

"Carmen," he breathed into my chest, holding me tighter, breathing hard as he continued rocking against the leather seat. He leaned me back against the steering wheel before sucking at my breast. Being with him, feeling him deep inside made me want to come again and again. "Fuck, baby," he grunted through a locked jaw, squeezing my hips tight, lifting me up and down. His hand disappeared for a second between the door and his seat. "Oh, yes," he breathed when the seat reclined back, making it easier for me to ride him and I did. I rolled my hips hard, feeling his cock deeper each time. "Come again for me, baby," he huffed, closing his eyes, squeezing my breasts. I bit my bottom lip as I laid on top of him, moving my hips up and down. "Oh god," he grunted, holding me hard against him. He looked in my eyes before kissing me hard, holding the back of my head.

"Oh, god," I moaned, rocking faster and harder against him, hitting the steering wheel with my ass, coming again. "Oh, Darrel," I breathed, gripping his hair in between my fingers. He grabbed my hair, forcing my head back and kissed my neck. His breath was hot and fast. I knew he was close and I wanted to feel every bit of him. "Yes," I whimpered, clenching hard around his cock. "Come for me. I want it all." The words were enough as he held my hips down, raised his to meet me. He buckled and tensed his body, shooting waves of cum inside me. Just feeling it made me come again. "Oh god," I breathed, collapsing on top of him. We were both out of breath, hot from the windows sealing in our hard breathing, but we didn't care. We just stayed that way, holding each other. "I don't want this moment to end. I want to stay like this forever," I confessed as he caressed my bare back.