There and Back Again Ch. 155

I agreed, and made a mental note to make sure everyone who needed to know was informed.

I couldn't help the little spark of hope that had blossomed in my gut, but there was a lot of fear there too. I didn't want to get my hopes too far up, just in case. "Is it going to work?" I asked, looking for a little reassurance. "Really?"

Anders stood up and patted my shoulder sympathetically. "I think so. But he's also going to need some time to recover, even once he's awake. There's never any certainty when it comes to rituals like this, but...I think so."

I nodded and looked away, rubbing my eyes irritably before they could betray me and loose the tears that were never far from the surface when I thought about Faren. "Okay." I took a deep shuddering breath and squared my shoulders. "Okay. Now look, we have some other things to talk about, and Rolan too. When do you have time? I hear you're going to be leaving soon."

We agreed to spend the afternoon in my personal sitting room; I'd ask Alistair, Aedan, and Zevran to stay away so the only Wardens Solona had to deal with where the two who'd be going to Kirkwall with her. I got myself some lunch, and took it up to my quarters to eat while I tried to organise my thoughts.

I'd only played the second game once; I didn't remember the details about it that I did about Origins or even Awakening, and I wasn't sure I wanted to change too many of them anyway, given I wouldn't be there to help manage if things went wrong. I'd already made some changes – I'd done everything I could through the Chantry to mitigate Meredith's madness, and I was sure Varric would have received my letter, though I wondered what the storyteller thought about it – not to mention how much would change due to the ripples I'd started in Ferelden and during the Blight.

That said, there were definitely some events I wanted to alter, given the chance. I wasn't sure I could resolve the Corypheus situation – unlike us, they didn't have a convenient, powerful, ancient blood mage to sacrifice himself to recapture the magister – and as much as I'd considered it, I wasn't sure warning the Vaels about their upcoming betrayal wouldn't backfire. I didn't know the major players the way I did in Origins, couldn't see the little opportunities that might improve the situation instead of making things worse. But I was finding it harder than I'd thought to let go of the control, to allow events to play out as they would.

So I pulled out one of my old half-filled notebooks, the ones I'd used to record the events of the Blight for Aedan, and started making myself a list.

I began with Karl. I wasn't sure how Anders could communicate with his friend without putting him at risk of being caught, but I knew he needed to get Karl out of the Circle as soon as possible. I wrote down what little I remembered about the Mage Underground, the tunnels that lead underneath the Gallows, and the trap in the Chantry laid with the help of a Tranquil Karl. I was sure to emphasize that there was a cure for Tranquility – so if they were still too late, if they were unable to rescue him soon enough, Anders should definitely not kill him.

Then I moved onto suggestions for Anders' clinic. As much as Darktown was a disgusting hole, it was where the worst of the need would be for supplies and healing. The refugees and poverty-stricken would not go to Hightown for healing, if the guards would even let them, and even Lowtown was questionable. I added a note about Lirene, the woman I vaguely remembered trying to help the homeless Fereldans. Hopefully, between whoever Cailan was sending and Anders, they'd manage to encourage some of the refugees to come back, and be able to provide some aid to the others. Not that Ferelden had an abundance of resources to send to Kirkwall, but Cailan was determined to try, and I couldn't blame him even a little.

I made notes about those I could remember within the Chantry – those to steer clear of, like Sister Petrice; those to recruit for aid, like Sebastian and Thrask; and those that they would assume would help, and wouldn't, like the Grand Cleric. I made notes about the Red Lyrium idol Varric would find in the Deep Roads; though I'd warned him not to touch the thing, I couldn't be sure he'd heed my advice. I explained how Bartrand would sell it to Meredith – and how her sword needed to be taken from her, and somehow destroyed.

I spent quite a bit of time detailing the problems in the Circle – the "Tranquil Solution" (and I still wondered if Alrik was the bastard who abused Anders' friend Danielle in Kinloch, and cursed myself for neglecting to ask Greagoir), Meredith constantly cracking down and tightening control over the mages, Orsino ineffectively fighting her and making it worse, apostates kidnapping templar recruits and forcing them to become abominations. In the end all of them could be traced back to Meredith in some form – and I couldn't be sure the Chantry would heed my warning about her.

I also pointed out that Orsino wasn't as innocent as he seemed – whether he was a blood mage all along or just desperate at the end wasn't clear to me, but he needed watching. I didn't think a mage could become a Harvester without significant advanced knowledge of blood magic. And hadn't he been helping the insane blood mage who would target Leandra?

I gave as much information as I could remember about the blood mage – the flowers he sent his victims, the fact that he was stealing body parts for disgusting purposes, how they would initially suspect someone else – who was also a blood mage, a former student in fact – that was not directly responsible for the murders. I cursed myself angrily as I worked – I couldn't remember any of their names, and it might cost someone their life. The other guy was Orlesian, with some high-falutin' French name, but the guilty one...Clinton? No. Gah, how could I have forgotten? However, the more I thought about it, the more certain I was that Orsino knew the murderer – and perhaps Anders could use that information to catch the bastard before more women shared that horrible fate.

I made non-specific notes about the Qunari – that they were searching for an artifact that had been stolen, that they would eventually lose patience with the delay in finding it and attack the city; so many things had changed already that I couldn't predict with any certainty what would happen anymore. Maybe Isabela never stole the tome. Maybe the Qunari caught her! Maker only knows how they would take a human with too much knowledge on the subject – I can't tell Hawke too many details, or knowing my luck they'll abduct her thinking she had something to do with it.

I didn't go into detail for each of the companions or Hawke's family members. I'd already made a note that Anders should insist on going with them to the Deep Roads when they went, and should take Joining supplies; we'd decided that the Wardens were not to tell Varric – or Hawke, or anyone in Kirkwall – about my abilities. Anders would refer to me as a seer, and that was all he'd say. I had made a few vague references in my letter to Varric about major events in their lives. But I still believed that in the end, they had to make their own choices. I knew what I thought was best for each of them – but it wasn't my place to impose my beliefs on people I didn't know, and remembered poorly from the game. It had been different with the Origins characters – I knew them better, and got the opportunity to know them intimately during the Blight. Besides, without me there to answer questions, there was no way for me to impart the amount of information Anders would need to be actually helpful.