There and Back Again Ch. 160

Aedan stroked his chin thoughtfully. "What if we don't tell him about you knowing the future? We have enough to convince him you're not from Thedas, with your phone and things. That will be enough, don't you think? Once he trusts us again -- or remembers more -- we can tell him the rest."

I sighed. I hate the thought of lying to one of my better friends. It had taken me almost losing him to recognise how much I liked the dwarf -- he was easy-going and funny, neither self-deprecating nor arrogant, always smiling and bringing out the best in others. I wonder if we will ever see that side of him again. He doesn't seem to do much other than scowl anymore, not that I can blame him.

Alistair squeezed my hand, his gaze intent on my face. "I know," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

I sighed again, feeling tears welling behind my eyes but forcing them back down. "Alright, let's do this. He's already going to be suspicious at the delay."

I opened the door and led the way back inside Faren's room; from the adorably woozy look he gave me, it was clear he'd fallen asleep while we'd debated outside. I sat down on the edge of his bed again, chuckling internally as Alistair stood behind me with a possessive hand on my shoulder. I gave Faren a moment to clear his head, and he narrowed his eyes at me meaningfully.

I nodded. "Alright, look. I don't like it, but we're essentially strangers now, and until you remember me or we get to know each other again, I am not going to tell you everything. You knew everything before, but there are things you're forgetting now."

He nodded reluctantly, and I breathed a sigh of relief. At least it can be a lie of omission -- a secret I've been upfront about keeping.

"What do you know about magic?"

We talked for a while about the abilities of mages; none of the dwarves had known what to expect when they'd first met one, given the lack of magical ability among the shorter folk, and it had taken a while to explain what blood magic was capable of.

"So when I was born, a mage -- a darkspawn mage, the same one who captured us -- cursed me, or something. My mind was...transported somewhere else, into a different body. I grew up somewhere else." Zevran had fetched my phone, my Swiss Army knife, my old boots and jacket. I gave Faren a few minutes to inspect my things, and managed not to laugh when he fumbled and dropped my phone when I turned it on for him.

When he turned his attention back to me, I continued. "Every now and then, if I'm afraid or upset, I...go back there. My body here disappears, leaving everything behind. And then after a while, I come back again in strange clothes, sometimes bringing stuff from there with me." I gestured to the pile in his lap. "That's what I was apologising for, in your memory. I was afraid that I'd disappear, and leave you behind -- with Jarvia pissed off and deciding to torture you because she'd never believe you when you told her I just vanished."

"And that's what I told you to do, when we were captured. Disappear." His expression was distant but not unkind. "I wondered how you were supposedly able to escape if it hadn't been for me."

I grimaced. "Yes. You begged me to give you the poison and then disappear. And I tried, but we were rescued first."

"You did almost disappear," Alistair whispered. "You...flickered. We thought we were going to lose both of you."

I reached up to rub his hand where it rested on my shoulder. "But I'm not leaving anymore. I decided a long time ago that Thedas is my home. I haven't been back -- not really -- since just before you and I met. Which..." I thought for a moment. "...was almost exactly one year ago! We spent the worst of the winter months in the Deep Roads." I knew this would change the subject and leave Faren to think about what we'd said; so far he hadn't been forthcoming with opinions on what he'd learned.

Zevran shuddered dramatically. "Do not remind me, cara mia. I thought this cold weather and the scent of wet dog were the worst the south would have to offer -- until we went to Orzammar."

"Pansy," I countered. "It's not that cold. Where I grew up, this would be a mild winter." And it was true -- to the best I'd been able to figure, Thedas was in the southern hemisphere, but Ferelden wasn't as far south as I'd been north, if the weather was anything to go by. It was worse at the Peak -- the elevation made it colder -- but I'd been used to that too, living not far from the mountains.

"You are a goddess of warmth and tolerance, Principessa," he teased me back, "but for us mere mortals, it is dismally, unbearably cold." He shuddered again, artfully, and Aedan chuckled lowly and whispered something in the assassin's ear. He didn't react with more than a twitch of that long, graceful ear, but the air was suddenly...charged between them, in a way it hadn't been, and Faren glanced at me and rolled his eyes.

"Sodding surfacers are as reserved as a noble-hunter in the Diamond District."

I laughed out loud, and Faren smirked. "Where I come from, we would say 'get a room'," I giggled. "But instead, I'm going to go get a room of my own, and leave you to yours." Everyone laughed when Alistair practically tripped over himself to help me up off the edge of Faren's bed.

I stopped by the door and looked back without making eye contact with the dwarf who was visibly exhausted and clearly fading. "Can I come back?"

"I'd like that." I met his eyes then, and he even smiled a little. I'm sure that won't be the end of it...but maybe, just maybe, I can get my friend back. Eventually.

*****

Author's Note:

And we're back! I apologise to everyone for the delay. I had a few distractions -- like knee surgery -- but I was also pulled away from this fic by a side story I wanted to complete, the Nathaniel Howe/Leliana origin that accompanies this story. It's called Strings Attached, and I hope everyone will take a look and let me know what you think!

I should be back to updates every 2 weeks for the foreseeable future, anyway.