All Comments on 'Things My Sister Had Ch. 01'

The story was alright, but a little bit of nothing at the end. They might as well have been discussing shoes.

When you are writing a story, it may seem long, so the writer tends to cut it short without actually getting anywhere. Next time, make it twice as long, and it will be amazing.

Please continue, I really enjoyed your story.

Have I read this story somewhere???

no action absolutely nothing happens no incest,no taboo,no skin,no touching and no sex in other words BORING

DBRS

I hope this story gets better!

I can understand folks feeling like they're getting ripped off ("I want my money back on this free story I read! All 0¢ of it!!!") but you warned 'em at the beginning. As well, you seem to have broken this story up into bite-sized bits, so, again...not as if they've invest countless hours only to be left hanging afterward.

Good characterization, your descriptions are sufficient without being too wordy. I'm enjoying it. :-)

I look forward to the continuation. Don't let the naysayers get to you. You write your story at your pace and let it develop as you think it should. As a book cannot be judged by the cover neither can it be judged by the first or second chapters. I think you have a good idea and a developing it nicely.

I like very much the long seduction. So many stories are slam bam; and I immediately stop reading such stories and move to the next. Without seduction a sensual story has no interest for me.

Great job

if this is the best you can do put it in the nonerotic area. i see this is six chapters long IF you had been smart you would have made it three chapters and made them twice as long. and you need to put some sex in it otherwise it gets boring. a slow buildup is nice but you need to give the readers a reason to come back for more this doesn't do that.get a good editor and rewrite the series and combine every other chapter. if you are writing for yourself that is fine but don't post it if you are writing for the readers make sure it is done right and not boring. listen to the anonymous commentors more that the kiss ass ones otherwise you will not improve as a writer.

DBRS

I agree with an earlier commenter, your character development is good and the pace is real and natural. Nicely done. I've just read the first chapter, but I'm looking forward to the rest of the story.

CABONE

I love your writing. For future reference you really should wait until you have three to five literotica pages before you post a story if you care about getting that magical red H! But I think this is a perfect beginning. It's not too wordy or long for me but without actual sex in a submission you'll always get a poor score in incest. A literotica 'chapter' isn't like a chapter in a book. Anyway excellent!

YOU KNOW YOU COULD ADD MORE TO THIS STORY. Make it more interesting.

Like how the brother stands up for her. Even fights for her right, to be a nice girl.

thanks for share your story with us .

you posted six chapters delete and combine them into three or four longer ones then it might be worth posting.

In a website full of "porno stories" I manage to found a tale which is soft and relaxing to read, congratulations!

I got a couple comments about having too short of a first chapter with my story. I figure a chapter should be only as long as it needs to be. I see you have a similar approach.

Your pace is just right, I think. The first chapter introduces the main characters and develops the primary character quite effectively. You set things up well and I imagine the story will proceed at a similar pace.

I think your style is one of the best I have read in this genre.

I hope you're going to Continue this story...