All Comments on 'This Lie of Love We Made Ch. 05'

This as usual but wishing it was a bit longer

Smooth sailing this time, with slow and steady progress. Nothing to point out in the style area, I think you've really improved. Not that there's nowhere to go from here, we all get better constantly.

I like the change in Sarah's demeanor, though I'm starting to see a strong parallel to Sisterly Bonds here, just like Cal's behavior softening throughout that series. Of course, Katherine's presence, as she gets involved deeper into the story, changes the dynamic.

However, now that it seems you've dropped the Sarah as a villain concept, there seems to be a lack of conflict in the story, something for the characters to struggle against or work towards, some problem they're trying to resolve. This is just personal preference, but I like a bit of tension in stories, maybe some uncertainty too. That way, once they overcome the difficulties, the happy ending feels more satisfying.