This We'll Defend

"You only have one good leg and you're blind?" he mocked. "Look around you, Barron! The neighbourhoods around here are run by gangs. It's been like that ever since I can remember. And cops just live in their world. Plus, the pay is better. A lot better."

"You have no honor."

He shrugged.

"At least I have both my legs."

His remark didn't rouse any more emotions from me, but Luna's expression turned into a scowl.

"Alright, this is how the night's going to pan out. I'm a man of my words, after all. You grab Tasha from your bedroom and once you get her out here, then I'll trade her," he tightened his grip around Luna's waist," for her. Clear?"

"Crystal."

I clenched my teeth together, hating the fact that I was taking orders from a crooked cop. As I was about to stoop down and grab my prosthesis, Tim stopped me. He ordered me to hop towards my room instead.

"Are you fucking serious?"

He dug the knife deeper into Luna's skin. She gave a small whimper. The anger inside me was dangerously high to the point of almost possessing me. Nevertheless, I hopped my way towards my room, grabbing hold onto furnitures and leaning to the walls to help maintain my balance. My hand reached and touched the door handle.

"Alice."

I froze. Luna's whisper was barely audible, but I heard a sense of urgency behind it. Tim told her to shut up. She gave another whimper.

"Jesus, just let her talk! She's not going anywhere."

Tim impatiently looked at me, wetting his lips nervously. The blade pulled back slightly from her throat, leaving room for her to talk comfortably.

"You have one minute. Then, I get the child. Got it?"

Luna nodded her head, her face determined.

"Remember our conversation we had here that one night?" Her voice was strong yet there was a quiver in the middle of her question. "Did you mean what you said?"

I thought hard of what our conversation was about the night Mark came into her studio.

"I remember," I said slowly, unsure where she was going with this. "I mean it."

She gave me a haunting smile, the look on her face turned into something foreign. It gave me goosebumps.

"Good," she whispered more to herself than to me. All of the sudden, she yanked the blade down from her throat and slammed her hand against Tim's crotch. He howled and stumbled, but managed to angrily push Luna away from him. Luna flapped her arms around, hoping to grab onto something to prevent herself from falling.

A loud crash was heard somewhere in the dark living room. Luna landed on my coffee table and gave a loud cry. Barely a second passed when I heard multiple frantic scratchings at the other side of the door. Immediately, I twisted the doorknob and opened the door. A furious german shepherd dashed her way towards Tim, baring her teeth at him. Giving a surprised yell, the injured man tripped on his two feet while attempting to scurry away from Jasmine.

I agitatedly limped my way towards the commotion, my eye on the undisturbed gun that was behind Luna's foot a couple of minutes ago. Jasmine's jaw locked on Tim's forearm, her canines and incisors dug deep into the man's flesh, making Tim drop his knife. Just a couple more steps, I thought to myself.

Jasmine gave a yelp. At the corner of my eye, Tim punched Jasmine a couple of times, but the brave dog growled and kept her jaw locked onto his flesh. Promptly, I grabbed the gun from the floor and took a quick glance at Luna's way. Her petite body laid unconsciously on my carpeted floor, my wooden coffee table in shambles.

Jasmine gave a painful whine and released her grip from Tim's arm. My heart stopped beating for a second once I saw a huge gash on the dog's side. She laid down, whimpering as Tim got on his feet with his knife in his hand again. He froze once he saw me pointing a gun his way, his eyes widened in realization. Awkwardly, I stood only with my good leg, swaying a bit in attempt to maintain my balance.

He chuckled.

"You don't have the fucking guts, Barron" he sneered. His knife reflected against the moonlight. "You can never kill a cop. It's just not in your fucking blood."

My heart stilled and the grim reaper inside my head waited in silence. I narrowed my eyes to the broken man that sold his own soul to the devil. Rather than hatred, I felt pity towards him. It was true that in most neighbourhoods, gangs roamed and dominated the streets of Chicago. Fear was their weapon and many citizens become paralysed by it. For people like Tim, they were seduced by it.

I refuse to let fear in.

The grim reaper cowered, its presence no longer dominated my thoughts. Instead, something else grew and it brought warmth to my soul, feeling like hot water after my body being outside throughout a winter's night. It was something familiar, but at the same time foreign, bringing me serenity and calmness.

It was hope and it glowed all throughout my mind.

I let my shoulders droop, the tension of my muscles lessened. I saw him exhale a bit.

"You're right," I replied, lowering my gun a bit. "But not because of that. Death is easy for cowards like you. No, I want you to face your consequences because both you and I know how much fun it is to be in prison especially for crooked cops like you. The prison guards and the prisoners will definitely love you."

His eyes widened with realization, his jaw clenched with anger. He pointed his knife at me more in desperation than aggression.

"I'll fucking kill you," he spat and started to take a couple of steps towards me. Three loud popping noises suddenly rang in the room.

Pop, pop, pop!

Tim stopped abruptly and dropped to the ground, crying in agony. I saw three bullet holes at the back of his right leg. Quickly, I aimed at the source of noise and saw three more cops in my doorway with their weapons drawn. I recognized one of them as Tim's partner, Officer Sanchez. She licked her lips nervously and nodded to me.

"We heard a disturbance," she said firmly, slowly lowering her gun. "We came as fast as we could. Could you lower your gun now, Alice?"

"How do I know you're not with him?"

I eyed them suspiciously.

"We could've shot him dead to keep him quiet," a brown haired cop gravely said. He looked at Tim with disgust. "And it was damn tempting to."

"He gives cops a bad name."

"Alice," officer Sanchez said calmly. "Put the gun down, the ambulance is on its way here to patch you guys up, and from there we'll figure out what our next step is."

I heard Jasmine whine and I looked at the dog with concern. She was bleeding heavily. I looked back at the unconscious Luna. It felt like an invisible hand went down my throat, and grabbed and squeezed my heart. From a distance, I heard sirens.

I threw my gun towards officer Sanchez and held my hands up. The brown haired cop shook his head, searched the apartment for my prosthesis and gave it to me. The other two cops patted my shoulders as they walked past me.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A week has passed since the incident and here I was again, jogging through the park with my headphones on.

The air was colder as we were nearing winter, but my body was on fire with sweat. Fewer and fewer joggers showed up for their daily morning run as I greeted only a handful of them. After an hour of running, I made my way towards the drinking fountain, feeling the cool water slither down my throat. I wiped away drops of water and saliva from my chin, then stood frozen once my eyes settled on a nearby parkbench.

I haven't seen Luna since the incident either.

That night, after I gave my statement to the police officers, I attempted to visit Luna at the hospital. Amy was there, her face pale. We waited in the hallway for a while until a young nurse updated us her status.

"She's doing okay. A few stitches and bruises here and there, but nothing too serious. She'll probably be discharged a few days from now. Now, who's Amy?"

Amy held her hand up.

"Okay, just making sure. You're her emergency contact and I may have questions later, but as of right now, you guys can go visit her if you want. Visitation hours is 6 A.M. to 10 P.M. and only one visitor is allowed for an overnight visitation. She's at room 206. Just make sure you sign in and show some I.D. at the nursing station."

We gave her a quick thank you and fast-walked our way there.

I hate the smell of hospitals. I hated everything about it, but what I hated more was seeing Luna, with her tired and pale face, laying on the cold, white, bed sheets. There was an IV line inserted in her left arm. Amy was the first one that greeted her, but I stayed at the doorway. They chatted for a couple of minutes and talked about Jasmine for a while; the german shepherd was sewed up at a local veterinary clinic and was resting like her owner.

I should've walked in and said hi or something, but it was if an invisible rope held me back. Amy looked at me with confusion.

"Alice isn't here, right?" Alice asked quietly. Amy looked at her friend and back to me.

"No, do you want her to be?"

There was silence for a few seconds until she slowly shook her head.

"No." She said it in a soft whisper, but I heard it perfectly loud and clear. Amy gave me a what-can-you-do look, which was reciprocated with a nod. I held back an exhale and decided to leave the hospital.

Ever since that day, I haven't seen nor heard from her. And a couple of hours from now, I'd be in my cop uniform patrolling the streets again. Life didn't give me a break.

One week turned into a month, then a few months.

I went to Ashley's funeral and the whole station came. Anna, her ex-girlfriend, wasn't there nor were her relatives, but she didn't talk about them as much when she was alive. I just figured they weren't close. We hung her picture up at our station's hallway, a grim reminder just how unpredictable life can be especially a cop's life.

To say I was miserable was an understatement. I was a mess and it took everything within my power to stay sane.

Before I knew it, it was already the first day of December. I moved to a new apartment building at the other side of town, but it was a lot closer to the police station. Additionally, I switched to a new cellphone network and bought a second hand car, went through the required psychological tests due to the death and trauma I experienced, and continued to go to group therapy. It has been a busy couple of months, but it was refreshing in some ways.

Well, almost.

Sometimes my new partner, officer Nevaeh Toler, and I drive our squad car past Brown's Painting and Sculpting Classes shop. I always encounter a feeling of guilt whenever I see it. I haven't been inside ever since Luna's session with me that unfortunate night. There were many times I thought of visiting Amy and Luna, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was ashamed of the fact that I dragged them into a mess that Cid and I made, and for that alone, I felt it wasn't my place to be a part of their lives. Additionally, Luna hasn't contacted me ever since, so I assumed the decision was mutual.

Even if I wanted to, my work schedule made it impossible since I work during the day and weekends now, only having Mondays and Wednesdays off.

So I made myself busy and worked my ass off each day, catching bad guys like I'm supposed to. I bonded with officer Toler and found out she has been a cop for ten years, but somehow managed to raise a family of her own during that time.

I met new people during my days off and drank with my fellow officers when I had the chance. Somehow, the creature's presence in my head was no more. Life was good. I felt good.

Even so, there was something missing.

And I knew deep down inside, that "something" was a someone.

That someone was Luna.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Hey, Barron!"

I whipped my head around as I button my jeans ungracefully. After our Thursday shift ended, Nevaeh and I decided to hit the weights for a couple of minutes. It was now 10 P.M. and both of us, tired and drained, were in the female locker room putting our clothes on.

"There's this art event that's happening this Saturday starting at 8 P.M. and I was wondering if you want to come along? Originally, Anton was suppose to go with me, but something came up and he has to work that evening. The kids are already staying at my mom's place and I'm still planning on going with or without my husband, but it's such a waste not to use Anton's ticket."

I put my bra on and looked at her thoughtfully.

"Art event?"

"Yea, it's just a bunch of artists, both well-known and newcomers, showing their art pieces. I may not look like it, but I love art in all shapes and forms. I thought you were too, so."

She shrugged.

I pursed my lips together and also shrugged.

"Sure, I can go. Is this like a formal event? Do I need to dress up?"

"I think it's a semi-formal event. Blouses, skirts, dresses, tuxedos, whatever. Look, Anton and I are wanderers during these types of events, so I don't expect you to be with me all evening and visa versa. In fact, I'd probably leave before you just because. Clear?"

I laughed.

"Crystal."

She looked relieved.

I pegged Nevaeh as an introvert when we first met and I'm sure some cops are, but she didn't hide it. She was more in the quiet side and reads books whenever she had the time. I haven't met her husband and two beautiful children, but her locker and desk were filled with pictures of them. I couldn't help, but feel jealous of how she managed to balance her work and private life because it was hard to maintain the two when cops have to deal with the dark side of humanity on a daily basis. Most of the cops I know were either divorced, single, or in a complicated on-off relationship. The happily married or the ones in a serious relationship were a little uncommon in my station.

Nevaeh and I said our goodbyes as we walked in the parking lot. As I got closer to my car, I noticed a note underneath my wipers. I opened it and it said: dinner tonight at 10:30. At the bottom, I saw Cid's name. I crumbled the note up and immediately drove to Sunny June's Diner. I haven't heard much from Cid since that night and I'm sure she has a lot to tell me, especially about Tasha. I don't know much about her status other than she was taken by social services, hoping to put her in a much safer foster home. I really do hope that child has a good future.

I hope any foster child has a good future.

A couple of minutes later, I parked my car in front of the diner, went inside, greeted June and ordered my usual from the menu. It dawned to me that this was the first time I went here without Ashley. I felt a sense of sadness.

I saw a hooded figure reading a book at the corner booth. As I slid across from it, its hands pulled the dark hood back, revealing a tired, yet refreshed feminine face. It seemed like the young troubled woman had time to recuperate. Her bruised and cut up face seemed to heal nicely, and it looked like there was an actual soul behind her eyes.

Cid nodded and gave me a faint smile.

"'Love is anterior to life, posterior to death,'" she began.

"'Initial of creation, and the exponent of breath,'" I finished. "Nice to see you again, Cid. Any news?"

And for the first time, I saw her smile broadly.

That unfortunate night, the Cobras were busy defending themselves against the Black Disciples. Citizens from Back of the Yards made sure they and their families were safe behind locked doors while the streets were being rampaged by the two gangs. The Cobras managed to deal with the Black Disciples with minimal casualties, but many were injured. Like little kids playing with BB guns, I thought to myself.

Police presence didn't come until an hour later.

"That was Cut Throat's doing," Cid explained. " Due to the overwhelming amount gangbangers in the streets, cops were bound to show up, but he has a lot of eyes in the police that he has the power to delay their time."

I shook my head. I hated the fact that some cops are easily manipulated by the means of their desires. Cid paused as soon as she saw June scurrying her way to our booth with a tray full of food and drinks. By the look of her face, I was sure this was her only real meal of the day.

"Then there's Cut Throat himself..."

"Did you find him? Please tell me you did."

She took a big bite from her double-decker burger and looked at me triumphantly.

"Let's just say he won't be bothering anyone anymore."

I said nothing. I saw a brief spark in her eye and it was anything, but friendly. It was the same spark predators have once they hunted down and killed their prey. It was also the same spark killers have after confessing a homicide in an interrogation room.

We ate in silence for the next half hour, until Cid quietly asked me about Tasha's status. I didn't know much, but I told her what I knew. She nodded and looked at me softly.

"I know a couple who'd want to adopt her."

"Really? Who?"

"Just a really nice childless couple. Not gangbangers, I can promise you that. They live in a nice neighborhood, both of them have a job, and lost a kid a while back. Actually," she shifted uncomfortably in her seat," I already knew Tasha's status. I'm just hoping you'd have new information."

"Good for them for wanting to adopt, but it'll take a lot of paperwork, background checks, and maybe even years until they can take her in."

"They're a patient couple. I'm sure they can do it."

We chatted more for a couple of minutes, which was unusual for Cid since she normally doesn't do casual conversations. But what surprised me the most was her bringing up Luna into the conversation. It was my turn to shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"I'm guessing that's a sensitive topic for you?"

"Not really. You and I don't really talk about," I waved my hand in the air," these stuff. Too personal. What has gotten into you?"

Cid almost looked shy, almost startled by my question. For a minute, she looked a lot younger again, more vulnerable even with her dark make-up and lipstick on. She scratched behind her left ear near her cobra tattoo. It looked like she was petting the snake.

"Nothing! It's just, I don't know. Shit's been difficult for me, you, Luna, Ashley," she lowered her head solemnly by the mention of my ex-partner's name," everyone, and I guess after that night, I have a slightly different perspective on life. I want to be more, I don't know..."

"More open? Be an actual decent human being?"

"Hey now, I'm decent, but in a rather unconventional ways. I'm not saying I'll fucking stop smoking or swearing or-"

"Leave the Cobras?"

"That ain't happening and you know it. And it ain't that easy anyway. All I want is to continue what I've been doing with you: being your CI. But I want to be more. Have more connections taking down the Black Disciples, Gangster Disciples, Vice Lords, Latin Kings, Apex, all those fuckers who want to terrorize families in this city. Even know we're not exactly a pack of angels, you know the Cobras are on your side."

I gave her a smirk.

"What happened to fuck-the-police attitude? What exactly happened that night?"

I paused and looked at her slyly. Of course, it made sense. The way Amy was acting that night, she and Cid must've had a more intimate history. I was tempted to ask more questions, but I decided to drop them. Clearly, the young woman wasn't ready to tell her story just yet.

"Well, whatever it was, I'm glad you're still alive and of course I'd still want to work with you. I hope you consider me as your friend. A true friend."

She gave me a grin and held her glass half-filled with pepsi up in front of her.

"For friendship."

I grabbed my glass of water and held it in front of my face.

"For friendship."