This We'll Defend

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Wednesday went too slow for me, but once Thursday hit I almost wished it went slower. The thought of being alone with Luna made me anxious.

"Earth to Alice!"

My mind snapped back at the present and found myself staring at an amused Ashley. We just got done with our workout and we were both still in our underwear and bra. While she was trying to get dressed, I sat on a bench near our locker and spaced out.

"Man, I know I have a rockin' bod, but don't need to stare, hun," Ashley teased. She wasn't wrong. Her body is bulky, there was barely any fat on her, and it seems like her skin is flawless except for a small scar near her sternum.

"You wish," I said as I stood up. I started dressing myself, but I could feel my partner's eyes on me.

"Let me guess: you're nervous about being alone with this Luna chick," she said bluntly as she finished dressing herself up. "And you're going to deny any feelings you have towards her because you're hardheaded like that, but it's only going to intensify. It's a never-ending cycle unless you either do something about it or find another chick."

"You make it sound so simple."

"It is, Barron. It's only complicated if it's real."

She gave me a knowing look and slammed her locker for emphasis.

After I dropped Ashley off to her apartment, I parked the patrol car in front of my apartment and walked towards Brown's Painting and Sculpting Classes. The closer I got, the more anxious I became. When I reached the shop, it looked like it was closed and the door was locked, but surprisingly Amy was there.

"Right on time," she chirped after she unlocked and opened the door. "Luna is at the back. Please lock the front door since I'm heading out. Have a good night!" I said by goodbye, locked the glass door and went to the back.

With her hair up and unwashed apron tied around her body, Luna was already at her working station with a pile of undisturbed white-grey clay in front of her. Right next to her was an empty stool, which I assumed was where I'll be sitting. It's way too close, I thought to myself as I eyed it. At the corner of the room was a sleeping Jasmine.

"Alice," Luna suddenly said. "Just on time! Come, sit right next to me and I'll explain everything you'll need to know." She patted the wooden chair next to her. I gulped.

My legs got heavier the nearer I went towards her, like walking to the deeper end of a pool. Deep inside of me, I was afraid of a probable panic attack because my heart was beating so fast that I could feel every pump and surge of blood all throughout my body. I meekly sat on the chair like a guilty young student sitting in a principal's office.

"I sense that you're a little nervous."

Talk about an understatement, I thought to myself. I clasped my hands on my lap, fighting the urge to take my phone out to distract myself.

"I'm okay," I said, but not as confidently as I hoped. "So I assume that I'll just sit here for the next hour?"

"That's correct. Now, unlike a model for a painting class, you can talk and change your position as much as you like, but try not to move the part of your face that I'll be touching. Otherwise I might not be consistent and it'll throw off the facial details completely. You can go to the restroom and all, but I'm hoping you'll only go once or twice per session otherwise my momentum will falter. Any more questions?"

"Nope," I said, leaning back a little. "Sculpt away." The corner of her lips curled up into a smile as her hands reached out, navigating to my face. As soon as her fingertips touched my skin, I shuddered unconsciously.

"Sorry, is my hand cold?" she asked with concern.

"A little bit," I lied," but you can continue."

Half an hour later, I got more comfortable and started chatting mostly about my job, but not too particular with the details. I told her that the daily life of an average cop was based on reports, patrol, and trying to end conflicts without a gun fight.

"I always thought a cop's typical day is filled with adventure. I typically listen to the news on a daily basis and there's not one minute that goes by without a crime happening somewhere here in Chicago."

"There are moments, yes, but I guess each neighbourhood has different levels of violence and it depends on the cop's location. Honestly, I'd rather have a day when I don't have to use my gun for anything."

I told her about Ashley's and my run-in at West Englewood and the trauma the daughter (I didn't tell her that her name was Tasha) will probably have to live through.

"That's terrible," Luna murmured while she took the pile of clay in front of her and started to sculpt the shape of my face. "Is this kid safe now?"

"I certainly hope so. The system is not perfect, but she's a lot safer where she currently is now than before." Luna was silent for a couple of minutes, her hands delicately and skilfully moulding the clay. I studied her face, wondering what was going through her mind.

"So I have to ask because I'm genuinely curious," I started," but were you always blind? I remember you saying you were blind all throughout your life."

Luna nodded and explained that she was born blind due to her mother's acquired infection during the first trimester of her pregnancy. Her mother was a single mother and worked as a store manager, but died when Luna was only fourteen due to a heart attack, which was a shock since her mother was only thirty-five years old. Her aunt was the only living relative she had and lived with her until she died of a stroke at the age of fifty-eight.

"I'm sorry," I finally said, not really knowing what else was there to say. " That must've been tough for you."

"Which part?" she chuckled lowly. "It's okay, I already graduated from college and found a job here when she died so at least I was somewhat financially stable at that point."

"Do you miss your mom?" I didn't even bother asking about her dad for the fear of bringing up painful memories or lack thereof. Plus, she didn't even bother bringing him up in the conversation.

"There are parts that I miss about her. I guess she and I weren't really close, but we managed to make it work during the time she was alive. My aunt and I weren't close before I met her, so we stayed distant even after mom died, but she gave me the basic needs a teenager needed."

"Sounds a little..." I trailed off, trying to find another word other than 'lonely.'

"Lonely?" she finished, giving me an ironic smile. "It's okay, I know it sounds lonely and, I admit, it was but I was used to it, you know? You have to understand that the world is full of colors, scenes, things to see, but I don't have that luxury to do so. Like I said earlier, most connections are based on sight and as a young child and teenager, I was pretty isolated from other people because of discrimination and self-pitying."

"So I didn't even bother on connecting with anyone. I spent most of my times reading my books. It wasn't until I was a senior in high school I decided to go into sculpting."

There was a moment of silence and understanding between us. She alternated from touching my face and moulding the clay. She was starting to open up to me, which was astounding because it took me a while to even open up during my first sessions of therapy.

She gave me a mysterious smile as she glided her fingertips across my face. I asked her why she was smiling.

"I can't explain it in a way you'd understand, but you're beautiful," she said still smiling. "It's how symmetrical and firm your face is. And since I didn't feel any ring around your finger earlier, I'm guessing there's a lot of guys after you."

"Bad guys, probably," I said, chuckling. She could probably feel my face heating up after that statement. "Nope, no one is after me, I think."

"But you must've had a relationship in the past before, right?"

Here we go, I thought to myself.

"Yea, my last relationship was still with my high school sweetheart named Toni, but with the long distance thing it just didn't work out, I guess."

"Why? Did he cheat on you or something?"

"No, she and I just drifted apart. We stayed in contact for a little bit, but I think college and life just got in the way for the both of us, so we broke up in the middle of my first deployment. Right now, she's married with this guy from Wisconsin and they have a daughter together."

She nodded understandably, but I knew there were other questions flying inside her head. Half of her face turned towards me while her hands were still on the clay.

"She? Well, no wonder guys aren't after you. Most of the girls probably are," she grinned and I gave her a hearty laugh.

"Well, if they are, they're way too scared to approach me."

"Maybe it's the uniform?"

"Maybe it's the uniform."

For the rest of the time, we chatted about anything that came in mind, but nothing too personal. I almost wished our session was more than an hour long, nevertheless I had to remind myself that there'll be more opportunities to chat with her in the future. I looked at my watch and wondered how she was going to get home, if she walked or had a ride. The thought of Luna walking with Jasmine in the dark with creeps in the streets had me concerned, not because she was blind, but I had my fair share of complaints and reports of sexual harassment in the streets especially at night.

Her watch chimed in again and told her it was 9 P.M. Her hands stopped touching my face.

"Well, tonight's session is done," she said with a hint of exhaustion in her voice. "The clay probably doesn't look much, but trust me, your face is there." I looked at the pile of clay that somewhat had a shape to it.

"If you say so," I replied as I stood up. "I'm just a model."

Jasmine stood up and happily rubbed the side of her face against my thigh.

"I have to admit, I'm impressed with Jasmine here. She must've had a lot of training."

"Yea she did," Luna answered. She snapped her fingers together and the german shepherd went to her side at a fast rate. "Usually Amy helps me with the lights and such, but obviously she's not here. If you don't mind...?"

"No, I don't mind at all! Here, I'll walk you out and I'll just turn off the switches once we're at the front. Sounds good?"

She gave me a tired smile and nodded. The artpiece-in-progress was still at her work station and she made no attempt to transfer it somewhere else. She grabbed her apron and put it on her stool, then slowly made her way to the front desk while I turned off the lights.

"Thanks for that," she gratefully said. She put her coat and gloves on. " I'll see you tomorrow, same time, yea?"

"Yea, I'll be here. Is Mark going to drop you off at your apartment or...?"

"Sometimes, but it's usually Amy since she goes the same way I go when she goes home."

I looked at her worriedly. Jasmine whined by her side.

"If you want, I can walk you home," I suggested. Her body turned towards me, the corners of her mouth curved upwards into a smile. Under the moonlight, the shadows of her face made her look almost mystical and shaped her body perfectly. This woman wasn't just a woman. It was if a higher being sculpted her perfectly in its own hands and ironically put her in this earth without giving her the opportunity to see how truly beautiful she was. I couldn't stop staring at her.

"Now, officer, are you worried about me?"

"A little bit," I said honestly.

"If it was Amy in front of you, would you've suggested the same thing?"

"Probably." I would, but it was more of an obligatory thing being a cop and all. For Luna, I genuinely cared for her safety.

She gave me a grin and accepted my offer. After we locked the shop, I walked by her side while Jasmine gleefully led her home. I wondered how dependent she was with Jasmine. The night still had some people on the streets and sidewalks. To my relief, there were some patrol cars roaming here and there.

The more we walked away from the shop, the more I realised that she lived at the opposite side of town than I was, which means it'll take me perhaps twenty minutes to go home instead of ten. I didn't mind. During our walk, Luna took my arm, hugged it and pulled me closer to her side. I sensed there was some hesitancy at first, but she then she relaxed as soon as she leaned to my body.

"I hope you don't mind," she said rather shyly. "If you didn't know already, I'm a touchy-feely type of person. This forms a type of connection with you and it gives me comfort knowing that I'm not walking with just any stranger."

I blushed.

"I don't mind at all. Connect away."

A couple of minutes in, Jasmine led us to a red brick building. Judging from its security and clean lawn, it was well maintained. When we went inside, it had the same atmosphere as my apartment building, but it was at a better neighbourhood than mine. Most of the residents that passed us were a lot younger, maybe college students. Jasmine wagged her shaggy brown tail to every stranger she met.

Conveniently, Luna's apartment was on the second floor. I expected it to be darker and maybe even messier, but it was a lot organised, which made sense since she'll know every location of her stuff and furniture. Lights automatically went on as soon as we stepped in the doorway, but it wasn't too bright. It was just right. There were no messy garbages, dirty plates, nothing was out of place. At first, I theorised that maybe Mark lives with her and helps her with the daily chores, but I didn't see any stuff indicating that someone else lives here.

The walls were bare, but there were no cracks nor marks visible. Multiple shelves filled with braille books were at every corner and the furnitures, although simple, looked new. It looked bare, but at the same time it looked very functional and productive. Her apartment was the perfect place for a minimalist.

"It's very clean in here," I marvelled. "I feel refreshed just by looking at your apartment."

"I try my best," she said, grinning. She took off her shoes and jacket by the front door. Feeling like I overstayed, I told her to have a good night. She gave me a thankful smile in return and gave me a warm hug. I melted in her arms.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said, chuckling. I pulled back and grinned at her.

"See you tomorrow," I answered as she closed the door.

Everything seemed like it was glowing and every person that passed me went by in slow motion. For a moment, I felt like a teenager realising that her crush was sitting right next to her at math class. The coldness of the night crept inside my coat, but I felt warm and giddy that I didn't even notice it.

I breathed in the night sky, then gave a little cough once second-hand smoke went into my lungs. Furiously, I looked around and saw a dark hooded figure sitting at a bench a couple of feet away from me. I could feel its eye glaring into mine. Cautiously, I walked towards it and the smell of cigarette smoke became stronger as I neared.

"'Who win, and nations do not see,'" its feminine voice said. "'Who fall, and none observe.'"

"'Whose dying eyes no country,'" I continued and sat next to the hooded figure. "'Regards with patriot love.' Hello, Cid. Why are you following me and what are you doing here?"

She pulled her hood, revealing a small cut above her right eyebrow and a blue-yellowish bruise around her eye that seemed to be healing nicely. There were rings under her eyes and her lips plastered a permanent frown.

"You look like shit."

"I've had worse," she answered and took a sip on her cigarette. "It was a gift from one of the Black Disciple member. Let's just say the guy wasn't very friendly."

"Answer my question," I said, sighing. I leaned against the bench. "I was having a very good evening until you showed up. There must be an update regarding Cut Throat and the Black Disciples if you're here."

She eyed me, nodded and grabbed something from her pants pocket. She handed me a wrinkled photo of Ashley and I on the day we responded to the apartment 54 situation. Alarmed, I flipped at the back of the photo and in capital letters, two words screamed at me: find them.

"I got this from a Black Disciple member that was lurking around the Red Gang territory," she explained. A puff of smoke went out from her mouth as she talked. "Once I found out this dude was asking around in every neighbourhood, I had to tail him. Word travel fast and if other gangs got hold of this news, the tension would intensify. I don't give a fuck 'bout these guys, but the collateral damage they trail is bloody."

"Who's the guy?"

"Street name is Little Sin, but real name is Lennard Acquin,a twenty something year old Black Disciple member who was working odd jobs a couple of years back, but got seduced in joining the gang. Anyway, once the Red Gang figured out he was askin' questions, they jumped him, but I got to him before they did."

"Hence the black eye."

She nodded and inhaled deeply into her cigarette. From the way she looked, she was nervous. Cid rarely smokes and when she does, it was during times of crisis. She doesn't look scared and the whole tough-girl facade might've fooled others, but it didn't fool me.

Then, it hit me.

"You don't care about Ashley and I," I said matter-of-factly. "You're worried about Tasha and civilians that might become collateral damage, but mostly about Tasha."

Two streams of smoke escaped from her nostrils as she gave me a low chuckle.

"Bingo."

"And I thought we were developing a deep friendship here," I said, smirking a bit. I know Cid's type. She probably grew up in a rough neighbourhood where gang wars and violence were common, but police presence wasn't. She doesn't necessarily hates cops, but rather disappointed or perhaps even knowledgeable of our limitations when it comes to executing justice. From experience, cops do roam around to keep the peace, but there are times where violence just gets through the cracks. The police isn't perfect, but we're trying our best even if we fail at times.

Cid was the type of woman who doesn't give a rat's ass about breaking the law or getting her hands dirty, but she's a fighter and she's determined to get things done even if it meant joining a gang. She wants to ensure the streets are at peace, but our methods are on two different sides of the spectrum. There are times when I question her methods on getting information and such, but I didn't ask. She wouldn't tell me anyway.

All she sees in me is just a woman with a cop's uniform and a badge. Nonetheless, she trusts me to an extent.

"I don't need you to be my friend, Alice," she answered, flicking the burnt out cigarette to the ground. "Anyway, if Lennie has a pic of you guys, I wouldn't be surprised if other guys in the gang has the same copy. So, watch your backs. Cut Throat probably suspects that you guys know Tasha's location since you were there that day. The Cobras are also on the move and doing everything they can to keep the peace."

The Cobras has a shady reputation, but one thing that many residents of New City, that includes Back of the Yards and Cannaryville, agree on is that they feet safe under their protection. There were rumours that the gang was run with orphaned children who grew up wanting revenge, but the residents themselves were loyal to the mysterious gang. Snitching on the Cobras was almost taboo to them.

"Well, thanks for the heads up, my not-friend."

She took one good look at me. Her frown was still there, but her eyes softened. I see you, Cid, I thought to myself. You're human like the rest of us. Hastily, she grabbed a pack of cigarettes out of her coat pocket and offered one to me. I shook my head.

"You better go easy on those," I told her as she put the cig in her mouth. She gave me a dirty look as she lit the butt.