Three Steps to Heaven

I slipped Nessie a couple of quid tip then turned to my neglected meal. The sandwich was still good but the coffee had cooled during my reverie so I hurried it up. Just as I was leaving the coffee shop, I heard an anguished cry. Along with all the other customers I turned to see what was happening. Kenny was bent double, clutching at himself while a triumphant-looking Nessie, coffee pot in hand, was saying insincerely, "I'm so sorry, it was an accident because we're so busy."

Good for you, girl! I do enjoy spreading a little light and happiness.

Back on the street I pulled out my mobile and dialled. "You were right and I was wrong," I said the moment Amelia answered. "I know now that I am gay. I am gay and I'm in love with you."

"You're sure about this, Jessie?"

"Oh yes, I'm so sure now. But it's all so new and strange to me, I've got to sort my feelings out. Will you give me a couple of weeks please?"

"I love you too, Jessie," she told me, "I can live with a couple of weeks or so. You know where I am. Make it as soon as you can."

* * * * *

There were a couple of people at the tea-station when I went to get my mid-morning fix, Milly Granger and some tall, scrawny young bloke from the accountancy office, Phil I thought his name was. They were sipping their drinks and Milly was chomping on a Mars bar, not the healthiest snack for someone of her build. We exchanged greetings and while I was getting my tea Phil carried on with what he'd been telling Milly.

"...so, as I was saying, my printer's decided to give up the ghost, just as I have to get the mid-month profit-and-loss returns ready. I've spoken to procurement and they're getting our expert in to fix it or install a new printer. She should be here about eleven."

Milly grunted. "God knows why they have to employ that lesbian bitch, she's a disgusting pervert ..."

Fury erupted—I went apeshit. "You fucking what?"

Both looked shocked as I screamed at Milly. She went white and backed against the wall as I crowded into her personal space and thrust my face close to hers. "If ever I hear you talking about the woman I love like that again, I'll kick your fucking arse! Now fuck off!"

Oops! it was out—be all over the company by lunchtime. Oh, so what?

Milly fucked off without argument. Must have been quite a shock for her, being so used to controlling unpleasant situations she'd set up. She scurried away, chubby little legs going like the clappers, cup of tea and Mars bar forgotten. She didn't head for her office, though, but instead dashed in the direction of HR. I guessed that an official complaint was about to be laid against me. Well, if I wanted I could make trouble for her—I wasn't the homophobe in the altercation.

I rounded on the innocent Phil. "And have you got any smartarse remarks to make?" I snarled.

I must have looked quite fierce for he held his hands up in conciliation. "Hey, easy, tiger, I'm on your side. Milly had no call to speak like that. Besides, my favourite sister's gay so I'm not going to knock it..."

Then as my temper cooled a bit it clicked what Phil had told Milly. Amelia was on her way and would be here about eleven. Although longing to see her, I couldn't just yet—I still had to get myself through a few things. I needed an excuse to get out of the office. That was it—I had to see a local newspaper editor at some stage to discuss a feature ad for the company and a quick phone call established that this morning was fine. I would be on my way before Amelia arrived.

* * * * *

It was past lunchtime when I left the newspaper office and as I was some way from my favourite coffee shop I went into a nearby pub for a sandwich and coffee. While I was eating my mobile rang and when I answered it was Henry Lassiter from my previous company.

He didn't waste much time with greetings and small talk. How was I then straight to the point. "You were right, Jessie," he said, "about Archie McNaughton, that is. The stupid little bastard tried it on with an off-duty policewoman in a wine-bar, attempted to slip her that date-rape drug. She spotted him at it and arrested him and he made matters worse by trying to bribe her to let him go. Now plenty of other women are coming forward to make complaints about him. Reckon he'll soon be looking at some serious jail-time. It's also come out that McNaughton senior authorised the generous redundancies for employees who had any reason to complain about his son and the Board have pushed him into resigning. I took your advice and made sure I was fireproof.

"So, Jessie, the main reason I'm calling is to offer you your job in PR back with a substantial salary increase. What do you say?"

It didn't require any thought. "Thanks, Henry, but no thanks. I like it here and I've started a relationship with someone. I think we'll make a go of it." Then I had a brilliant idea and my mouth went into motion before I could think through the implications of what I was saying. "Henry, suppose I go self-employed freelance, would you commission me for special jobs? Save you hiring another person with all the employment red tape that involves. I'll have to give Bill Laker a month's notice but after that..."

"Hmm, that's worth thinking about," Henry said, "We'd need to meet to discuss contracts, fees and so on but... yes, I like the idea. E-mail me with your proposals when you're ready. And Jessie, I wish you and the lucky man well."

I wasn't hiding from anyone any more, especially myself. "It's a lucky girl..."

"Oh..." I could almost see Henry Lassiter shrugging. "Whatever. Guess you're both lucky girls then."

Freelance Jessie Thorne. Yes, I liked the idea too...

* * * * *

There was a message on my answering-machine the following morning: go and see Bill Laker as soon as I got in. I wonder why (ha-ha)?

Bill certainly wasn't his usual cheerful self, looking as if an unripe lemon had crapped in his mouth (if lemons could crap, that is). Before he could say a word, though, I pre-empted him. "Milly's made a complaint about me, right?"

"I'm afraid so. It's alleged that you used foul and abusive language and threatened her with physical violence."

"I blew my top and told her I'd kick her arse—no... in the interests of accuracy I said I'd kick her fucking arse. Come on, Bill, how often have you threatened to kick someone's backside when they've annoyed you? It's only an expression, not meant literally. Anyway, I'll bet that Milly didn't tell you why I lost my rag."

Bill checked his note-pad. "According to her statement, your attack on her was entirely unprovoked. You just flew into a rage for no discernible reason and threatened her with violence. She's questioning your mental stability."

I nodded. Typical of the woman, Milly was never at fault. "There's something you'd better know, Bill, that's if you've not heard already. I'm gay and I'm in a relationship with Amelia Brogan. Within my hearing yesterday, Milly questioned why you have to use Amelia's services at all, referring to her as a 'lesbian bitch' and a 'disgusting pervert' I think were her exact words. Those were uncalled-for homophobic remarks about the woman I love. That's why I lost my temper and threatened to kick Milly's backside. And I've got a witness as to what happened, that skinny lad in Accounts, not sure of his name, Phil I think..."

"Phil Maddox," Bill confirmed and continued: "So he saw what happened, eh? Milly failed to mention that—makes quite a difference. I'll have a word with young Phil, see if he'll confirm your story. If he supports you, Jessie, what do you want to do? Put in a formal complaint about Milly's homophobia?"

"No, she's not worth the effort. Anyway, I'll be leaving the company soon, Bill. You'll have my resignation letter tomorrow, one month's notice as required."

"You're not leaving over this, surely?"

"No, I've got a chance to go freelance and I've decided to grab it. I can continue to do work for you if you wish, but it'll be on mutually agreed terms by negotiation. If contracted I'd guarantee not to work for any of your rival companies. As for Milly..."

"As for Milly...?" Bill prompted.

"Well, you could have her in and put the fear of God into her. Point out that there was a witness to yesterday's incident and that I'm considering bringing an action against her for homophobic hate-crime. Let her sweat for two or three weeks and then tell her I've decided to let her off the hook this once. The shock might keep her off other people's backs for while."

Bill smiled, a great big happy smile. "Yes, I think I'll enjoy that. It'd be nice to have a subdued and uncomplaining Milly around for a while."

Back in my office, I took out the business cards I'd picked up in a couple of Newcombe Parva shops. I dialled the number on the first card. "Hello, my name's Jessie Thorne... Amelia Brogan recommended you... I'd like to make an appointment... the special treatment... yes, as soon as possible please... oh, that's great, this evening will be very convenient, thanks..."

* * * * *

Ten days later I parked my car beside the Range Rover, killing the motor and dousing the lights so that Amelia wouldn't be aware of my approach. I'd spoken to her fairly regularly and the last time she had sounded sad and resigned, as if believing that she'd seen the last of me. It was a clear night with a full moon and I was able to make my way along the mill's path with little difficulty although shivering a little in my light coat and lighter dress. Reaching the cottage entrance, I pressed the buzzer on the intercom.

"Who the hell's that at this time of night?" There was asperity in her voice, understandable I suppose given how late it was getting.

I put a handkerchief lightly over my lips and lowered my voice so that it would sound like a throaty mumble to Amelia. "Special package for Ms Brogan."

"Special package? It's late for that. Who's sending me special packages?"

"Dunno, Miss. Says urgent delivery. Goods are delicate so don't leave out overnight. I'll just leave it on the doorstep for you."

Amelia seemed to hesitate. "Okay, but this had better be good. And I warn you, I've got a shotgun."

"No need for that, Miss, special delivery's on the step. I'm just going." I made stomping noises on the doorstep.

A few moments more and the security light over the door came on. I heard the door-chain being applied then bolts rattling back. The door opened slowly. I turned to face the entrance to see both barrels of the useless shotgun and Amelia peering cautiously through the gap. "Jessie!" For a moment she didn't seem to know whether to laugh or cry then she freed the chain, flung the door fully open and threw herself into my arms. "I was starting to think you wouldn't be back!"

"I promised you I would," I said, "I just had to sort out my mind and do one or two other things."

"And are you sorted now?" she asked.

"Yes, now and for always." I sniffled a little as a solitary happy tear trickled down my cheek. "I'm absolutely certain—you're all that I want, Amelia. I'm gay and I love you and think we can make a good life together."

She reached out to wipe the tear then kissed me hard. "Well, we can make a bloody good stab at it. I love you too."

"Would you have space for me in your office?" I asked, "There's been a sudden change in my work circumstances." I explained what had happened at my old company, ending: "...and if things do go pear-shaped, well, I've made some useful contacts over the years and I think I can build up a good business in time."

"I know why you want to share my office," Amelia smiled, "You want your own personal IT expert on hand." She pulled me close and pressed her lips to mine. "Okay, you've got her. Contract sealed with a kiss."

"Oh, and on your behalf I've scared the shit out of Milly Granger." I told Amelia of the tea-station confrontation and the Milly-subduing plot Bill Laker and I had hatched. She grinned, then laughed and we high-fived.

I took my coat off and hung it up. "Can we go up to the bedroom now?" I said, "Regarding the couple of other things I needed to do, there's something I have to show you, a surprise."

Amelia led the way up the several flights of narrow stairs and I kept my eyes on her swaying backside, accentuated by the silk of her robe. So closely did the material cling that I reckoned she was wearing nothing but the robe and I'm sure she put an extra wriggle into her bum for me. Whatever, it was a lovely view.

When we reached the top floor, I said: "Just stand there a moment, no peeking." Keeping my back to her, I unfastened the buttons down the front of my dress. Underneath I was naked. "I told you I had a couple of other things to do," I said, "so here they are." I dropped my dress and turned to show Amelia my recently waxed mons and pussy with the brand new tattoo, the huge dragonfly's tail resting on the top of my cleft. It matched Amelia's exactly.

"Oh wow," she breathed, "You did that for me?"

"For you and only for you," I assured her, "Now there's something else I've got to do. You once asked me if I was out to my family. Guess now's the time so here goes." I reached into my bag for my mobile phone. "You can listen in," I told Amelia, setting it on loudspeaker.

"Wait, Jessie—are you sure it'll be okay? You won't be making things bad for yourself?"

I reckoned from what Amelia had told me of her chilly mother, she'd be astonished by my parents' warmth. "You don't know my folks, Amelia." I pressed a quick-dial number.

My mother answered and I knew she had caller ID. "Moonbeam, darling!" she cried with delight. I saw Amelia smirk.

"Oh, Mum..."

"Sorry, sweetie. Jessica darling! What is it? It's not your usual day for calling."

"There's something I need to tell you, Mum," I said, "You remember all the disasters I had with men and the other little related problem. Well, everything's okay now. I'm gay, Mum. I think perhaps I always was lesbian but subconsciously suppressed it, which probably goes a long way to explaining my misfortunes with men. Anyway, I'm sure of what I am now and I'm in love with a wonderful girl called Amelia. And the other little problem, the O word, isn't a problem any more."

"That's nice, darling," Mum replied.

"Mum, you did hear me right?" I didn't think for one moment that Mum would be upset by my announcement but I wanted to be sure.

"Yes, darling, I heard you right. I'm quite a few years from deafness and senility yet. You've realised you're a lesbian and you're in love with a wonderful girl called Amelia. I think that's marvellous and I'm so happy for you. I did suggest several years ago that perhaps you weren't made for men. Looks like I was right. Gordy babe—" I heard her shout to my father, "—Moonbeam's a lesbian and she's in love with a wonderful girl called Amelia!"

"That's great!" Dad called back, "Got to be better than some of the shithouses she's been involved with in the past."

"Is the wonderful Amelia there with you?" Mum asked, "I'd like a word."

"She's right here and you're on loudspeaker."

"Hello Amelia dear," Mum said, "Welcome to the family."

"Thanks Mrs Thorne," Amelia said, "I want you to know that I love Jessie with all my heart. We've both made bad mistakes with wrong 'uns in the past but we reckon we've got it right this time. Jessie and I are soul-mates—she's the love of my life and she feels the same way about me."

"That's perfect," Mum replied, "Listen, I want the two of you to come to lunch next Sunday so we can meet you properly. And Amelia, no stuffy formality, no Mr and Mrs Thorne. We're Joan and Gordy..."

Eventually, after a lot of happy back-and-forth chat we managed to say goodnight to my mother, reluctant though she was to end the conversation.

The moment the call finished, Amelia allowed her robe to slide to the carpet and I was right, she was naked underneath. She opened her arms to me. "Come here, Jessica Moonbeam Hummingbird Thorne, come here and give me a great big kiss. And then get your beautiful backside into that bed—I've got this sudden irrepressible urge to smother your dragonfly tattoo with dozens of kisses."

And that's exactly what she did.

Now that sure seemed like heaven to me.

The End