Three Waves

I made record time getting here. Anne answered the door at the hotel and jumped into my arms.

"DADDY! I missed you so MUCH! We had SO much fun!..." she was talking a mile a minute when Sarah came to the door.

To say Sarah was surprised to see the crowd at her door would be an understatement. "Brad, um what are you doing here? Who are all these people?"

My attorney shoved a stack of documents at her. This is the court agreement allowing the father of Anne to have visitation modifications. As you did not answer the modification within 5 business days as required by this State, the modification is granted."

Sarah was stunned. "What? Wait, what are you talking about? Our house was badly damaged by a water leak, we have been scrambling since we got back from overseas. You cannot take my daughter!"

The harried Social Worker looked annoyed. "Mam, the court takes a dim view of people who ignore their orders, you were properly notified."

Sarah was looking frantic, "I never saw the notice!"

I looked past Anne, who was still hugging me and talking about the mountains she saw. "Gee Sarah, must have been a miscommunication." I said.

"JAMES!" Sarah yelled, and James was at the door in a flash. "They are taking Anne!"

James pulled out his cell phone. Everybody just stay here, I am calling my attorney."

The Social Worker looked at her watch, conscious of 5PM quitting time like any good government employee. "Sir, you can call whoever you wish, but court is closed now, and Monday is a Holiday, so any appeals will need to wait until Tuesday if want your daughter returned to stay here."

"About staying at this Hotel." My attorney broke in, while opening a folder full of papers and handing the papers out to the Social worker, Sarah, James and I. "This dump they are subjecting this child to is a danger to this ill child's health. The Health Department most recent report has this Hotel as one of the lowest grades for sanitation, safety, and rodent infestation. It is one strike from being closed."

James threw up his hands. "There is a big convention in town, everything is booked. We will get something better next week."

Sarah looked at James with fire in her eyes, before thrusting the paper into James hands and running back into the hotel room. Sarah was back in an instant with a gym bag that she jammed into my hands.

"Get my daughter out of here NOW." She hissed, but then her face softened. "Please Brad go, get Anne away from this place."

****
That weekend was one of the best of my life. Anne and Justine bonded in an instant and stayed up eating pizza and watching God awful chick flicks, doing each other's hair like a grown up version of a slumber party. It was a great weekend with two girls I loved.

Then things got weird...

I was expecting a big court battle with Sarah over Anne and I knew my war chest was limited. When my lawyer called Tuesday I was prepared for combat to the death.

"Brad, your wife has asked you retain full guardianship and care of Anne until such time that their domicile becomes inhabitable again." I heard her rattle some papers. "That should be in 3 or 4 months or so. She only asks for liberal visitation based on your decision, with custody to be discussed at a future date to be determined."

"WOW!" I exclaimed. "Are you like a witch or something, with magical powers?"

She laughed through the phone. "Actually, I am a bit bummed. I worked throughout the weekend on arguments with your history as primary medical and caregiver, the fact a retired military veteran RN Nurse was on the property. Even your girlfriend being a teacher was a plus, add in the fact you could work from home and I thought I had a slam dunk."

Now I laughed, "Yes, my retired Chief Petty officer runs around like some hard assed crusty character from Hollywood central casting, but he is a big ole softie inside and got me doing logistics and planning for him. It pays a little bit less, but no more travel and I can work from home."

"OK Brad, looks like the big payday I was expecting from billable hours is not gonna happen. Hell, your Ex even shot down the best argument I never got to use about possible mold in their house. They are going to supply a mold inspection report with the firm of your choosing doing the testing."

"Damn! I do not know what to say."

"Well, don't say shit, just pay my bill when it comes."

****

Then things got even weirder...

Justine had been picking up and dropping off Anne on her visits from Sarah, because, well because, I do not have enough middle fingers to express how I feel about my ex-wife.

Suddenly they became fucking BFFs.

It started with Justine staying a while with Anne and Sarah on her visits, then the three of them going out for a treat someplace before Justine brought Anne home. Soon the three of them were shopping together, going to beauty parlors, movies, etc.... like the Three God Damn Musketeers.

Anne was beyond happy, but the friendship with Justine and Sarah was like watching a lamb and hyena sleeping together, you know it happens as you see it on animal TV shows all the time, you just never thought it would happen in your house and you did not think it was a good idea.

Finally, I could not take it anymore and asked Justine about it.

"Justine, what the hell is this BFF shit with you and Sarah?"

What Brad? You think she is gonna bite me? Turn me into her lesbo lover?"

"No, not bite you, more like stick a knife in your back. Leopards do not change their spots."

"You jealous Brad?" Justine said with a sly grin. "You can come with us tomorrow if you want. We are going to that new gym with the boxing workout."

"Sure Justine, I would love to see you and Anne punch Sarah in the face."

"It's not that kind of gym Brad."

"Damn, too bad, because I would pay to watch that." I paused for a moment. "OK Justine, we can all meet up at Blockbuster Video"

Justine got a confused look on her face. "Blockbuster Video is not even a thing anymore."

"EXACTLY Justine."

She laughed. "Remember when I told you my job was to make you happy?"

"Yes, I do"

"Well Brad, is Anne happy? Does that make you happy?"

"Of course seeing my daughter happy makes me happy." I replied.

Justine had that sly grin again. "So if my being friendly with your ex-wife makes your daughter Anne happy, which makes you happy, what is the issue?"

"Justine, you don't understand..."

Justine put her finger on my lips. "Brad, if I no longer seeing Sarah will make you happy, I will drop her in a heartbeat. But, that will just make Anne sad and that in turn will make you unhappy. Is that what you want?"

I felt like Justine was having a battle of wits and I was an unarmed opponent, so I did what every guy does when outmatched, I silently declared victory to myself, cursed, and left the room.

****

After a year, Justine and I moved in together, Anne started calling Justine 'Mommy J'.

Justine, Sarah and Anne continued the Three Musketeers routine, but as long as I wasn't d'Artangan that was just fine, but I would be lying if I said it was still comfortable for me. But they were as thick as thieves.

Anne, my precious daughter, had by some miracle, gone into remission, and that was the most important thing of all.

I finally asked Justine to marry me, and while I would have been happy with a trip to city hall, Justine had her heart set on this Historic site, that was booked for a year in advance. So I had to suffer thru endless conversations about desserts and napkin colors and God knows what else for months on end.

6 weeks before the wedding Justine was sitting at the table going over guest list seating for the nth time. Anne was in the bedroom watching TV. "Brad, what would you think about inviting Sarah and James?"

"I think about them when I am dunking my cookies in milk, you know, holding them under until the bubbles stop."

Justine laughed. "Come on Brad, Anne is going to be a bridesmaid, surely your love for me overcomes your dislike of them?"

"Justine, I love you so much, if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket left. I would miss you a lot."

Justine threw a pencil at me as Anne walked in the room. "Daddy, Mommy J, when we gonna eat?"

Justine looked at her watch. "Darn, I am sorry Anne, I lost track of time."

I pulled a well-worn menu from the kitchen drawer. "No worries, let's get some Asian take out from that place where near Marge works."

"YEAH! I want eggrolls!" Anne yelled.

I pulled out a credit card and grabbed my cell phone and pointed at Justine. "If I buy, you fly."

Justine frowned as she picked up her car keys, but blew me a kiss as she walked out the door.

****

An hour later Justine was still not back with the food.

Daddy, I'm HUNGRY!" Anne whined.

I pulled out my phone and punched in Justine number. "I am sure Mommy J just meet some former student and is gabbing away. I will let her know you are faint from malnutrition."

There was a knock at the front door and you could faintly hear the ringing of Justine phone on the other side of the door.

I laughed as I walked to the door. "See, Mommy J must have lost her keys and locked herself out."

As I opened the door, preparing to deliver a sarcastic remark, I was stopped short by a Metro Police Officer with a blank face as he stood on my doorstep.

In his hand was a bloody plastic bag with Justine's ringing cell phone.

****

In an evil karmic twist worthy of any Greek tragedy, Justine was killed at the "most dangerous intersection in the state", by a speeding truck running a red light. It was the same place I was going to end my life, in what seemed like a million years ago.

The fact I had chosen the restaurant that night and sent Justine on the journey that led to her death had me almost suicidal with guilt.

Thank God for Marge and the Chief, they took care of all the funeral arrangements, because I was a walking zombie, barely able to function.

I moved back into the small apartment they had above the garage as everything in the house I bought with Justine reminded me of her, and the part I had played in her death.

The day after the funeral, Marge displayed the understanding and compassion Navy Nursing caregivers are known for.

"BRAD! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!"

To say I was surprised when Marge stormed into the apartment, whipping open all the curtains to let in the noonday sun, while tearing the sheets off my sleeping body was an understatement.

"What the Fuck Marge? Can't you see I am in mourning!"

Marge pulled up a chair and sat in front of me. "Mourning is over, Time to join the living."

I tried to pull back the bedcovers. "Leave me be, I am not some superman, you have no idea how upset I still am."

Marge would not let go of the bedsheets. "Upset? Then I will get you cape like superman wears and you can be SUPER UPSET. Listen up Brad, Justine is gone, and there is nothing you can do about it. But your daughter is alive and has not stopped crying since the funeral. Do something about THAT! Your daughter lost what Anne considered a second mother. The best way to get over your pain is to help someone get over theirs. Misery may love company, but no one loves people who wallow in misery."

Marge let go of the bedsheet to lit up a cigarette. "Best way to honor Justine's memory is to show your daughter how to deal with loss." Marge pointed at my unshaved face and rumpled clothing. "Is this really the example you want Anne to take away from this tragedy?"

I sat up in bed and rubbed my face. "Marge, I wish I knew where to start."

Marge handed me a list. "This is a bunch of Grief Counselors, pick one and tell them you know me. Make sure you bring along Anne." Marge looked around for someplace to knock off her cigarette ash. "And get in the shower, you smell like a goat. "

****

Marge was right as usual, seeing the Grief Counselors allowed Anne to cope with the loss of "Mommy J" and while it took me longer, I was able to not dread getting up every morning.

I sold the house and moved full time into Marge's small apartment above the garage. My needs were few and I had been told that because Justine and I had no legal arrangement, along with our state not recognizing cohabitation/common law arrangements, I could expect nothing from the accident.

So you can imagine my surprise when three checks from insurance companies representing the County, State and Trucking firm arrived in the mail a year later. The amounts added up to a lottery winning sum, but lingering guilt I felt from my contributions in Justine's death made me hesitant to act on the windfall.

Marge and the Chief had no such hesitation and literally dragged me to the bank to deposit the funds and sign the paperwork in front of a notary.

I put money away for Justine's College and started a scholarship for teachers at the local University.

I had kept my distance from Sarah and had not heard from her for about a year since Justine's funeral service, thus I was concerned when I saw her number pop up on my phone. The screen displayed SATAN and the Darth Vader entrance music was hard to mistake.

"Brad, this is Sarah, I am at Memorial Hospital, you need to come get Anne."

My pulse doubled. "Is everything OK with Anne! Why are you at Memorial Hospital."

"Anne is fine Brad, It's just that James passed away."

"James is dead?"

There was a pause before Sarah spoke. "He had colon cancer, the treatment was not successful."

I know I am going to hell, but that asshole James getting it in the end with ass cancer was just too karmic, I guess God does have a sense of humor. I bit back my comments and just replied. "OK, I will pick up Anne at the North entrance."

****

James was cremated and his ashes scattered at the lake. I was musing it was appropriate his final wish was to make himself a true ash-hole when I answered a knock at my door.

A small Asian lady in medical scrubs handed me an envelope and scurried away before I could say anything.

Confused, I tore open the flap and pulled out some papers.

Brad,

I hope you will read this to the end and your hatred of me will prevent you from tossing this letter away as I have taken great pains to have this typed up and delivered to you.

The priest has left and according to the Nurses who I overheard talking in the hall, I have little time left.

We all have regrets, my biggest regret is I am going to die a Thief. Not just any thief, but an evil thief who used a desperate mothers love for her only child who was sick, to commit my crime. Yes, I am worse than any cartoon villain as I planned my robbery in a manner worse than any criminal thug.

But karma is a bitch, and now I know it is true that "He who stirs up shit, will end up licking the spoon."

It is no secret I have always wanted Sarah. I was taken with her the first day she started work while still in High School. While I was just a barely a few years out of High School myself, this was more than just a confused Collage Students crush. My chance meetings and manipulations became so obvious that both my father and mother had a talking to me about it. While Dad ran the company, Mom was head of HR and words like "stalking, unwanted advances, and sexual harassment" peppered the conversation. Sadly this did not penetrate my obsession and I doubt I will be joining them at the pearly gates in the very near future.

I have rationalized away everything I have done up to now , but with my life being measured in days and hours I can see the cold truth, and laid bare is just one fact:

I used a child's illness to get what I wanted and satisfy my own desire to have your spouse Sarah as my wife

I am ashamed to admit I was in glee when I heard of your daughters Anne illness. I did not see a child's pain, but only a chance to have your wife Sarah as my own. Our company's Insurance policy was up for renewal. I hired a medical insurance researcher to find all available options and used that opportunity to choose a plan that had limited coverage for treatment that your ill child Annie needed.

It was I that used my contact at your bank to put your house foreclosure at top of the list, hoping to drive your family into financial despair.

I did not think it would take so long, but you proved a crafty foe and resilient in the manner of obtaining money in unorthodox ways for treatment costs. I underestimated a fathers love for his daughter and Sarah's devotion to you.

I was an impatient man and could not understand how Sarah could still stay with you, despite my hints about the advantages a relationship with me could bring her daughter.

Of course in the end a Mothers love for her only child won out, as I knew it would. Still I was surprised at Sarah's sudden decision to divorce you and be with me.

Another Karma truth "Be careful what you wish for", because while Sarah was with me physically, she was never with me spiritly or mentally.

Do you know she kept a burner phone and would use it to call your voice mail just to hear your voice? Sarah interrogated Anne after each one of your visits like a debriefing. The odd relationship she had with your fiancée was the way she vicariously lived her life with you. Who do you think paid for the law firm to get you that settlement from your fiancée death? Sarah even waited outside places you frequented, just to see you walk out the doors. How do I know this? As one stalker, I know another's obsession and the lengths they will go. My fantasy lady had a fantasy man of her own.

Also, to put your mind at ease, Sarah never had sex with me before your separation. Not even during the waiting period while the divorce went through, not until after we were legally wed did she even grant me a kiss.

Physically we did everything a man and women can do. I say this as a statement of fact, not to gloat, because while Sarah never refused my advances, she never ever initiated, not once, not ever. Did Sarah enjoy sex with me? Who knows? My only experience before her was with paid escorts. This was not the married wedding scenario I had envisioned when I pictured our relationship. But what thief has the right to complain about the quality of the goods he stole.

With my dying breath, I give you a gift. The gift of your daughter's life. The trip overseas was not a vacation, although that is what little Anne thought it was, but it was a cover for a trip to a research clinic and a course of experimental treatment.

This experimental treatment, not yet approved for humans, was facilitated by a "generous donation" to the research facility when I sold my family business to a VC firm. I would like to say it was because I loved your daughter Annie as my own, but I am done lying. True, I was fond of Annie, but I was willing to give up everything I owned to gain a fraction of the love Sarah held for you.

Sarah disregarded my advice to involved you in this decision, I felt you needed to know as the treatment results had been successful only 1/3 of the time with another 1/3 resulting in death. However, from the start of our relationship Sarah had made clear in no uncertain terms that all and any decisions about Anne's welfare were none of my concern.

Lastly, in a cruel karmic twist, I now myself, lack the funds for specialized treatment not covered by the insurance plan I picked, that could extend my life.