Throwing Snowballs at the Moon

"Ooh aah, and the silly buggers didn't take the hint and cool it?"

"Don't look like it, does it? I suspect Roger Serge figured his best bet was to lay low for a while and accumulate as much cash as he could. Then grab the money and run, before Canella knew for sure and kicked him out on his ear. I can't see Jack Goldberg thinking very highly of that, can you?"

"Poor Jack. For all his..."

"What are you feeling sorry for Jack Goldberg for?"

"I don't know, maybe he thought his cash was going to buy his daughter a good husband with breeding."

"In-breeding more like. Have you seen Serge's personnel file?"

"No, have you?"

"Well there's an underground copy of it kicking around the office somewhere. You know, most folks here thought they were about to lose their nice cushy jobs, and a "lets track Roger and Mary down" lynch-mob mentality reigned for a while. No kidding, if they'd found the buggers I'm sure there would have been bloodshed."

"What about Ellie. How has she taken all this?"

"Buggered if anyone knows. Nobodies seen hide nor hair of her, since Roger Serge disappeared. Well, nobody that I can find in the office anyway. Looks like you'll have to ask her father about that yourself, Graham!"

"You must be bloody joking; why would I care anyway?"

"Oh pull the other one Graham. I don't know what happened between you two all those years ago. But whatever it was, I'd say that it's unfinished business in someone's mind."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded. A little emotionally I suspect, from Vernia's reaction.

"Oh bugger Graham. I've got no intention of falling-out with you over this. Forget I ever mentioned the woman?"

Then as quickly as she'd entered my office, Vernia made herself scarce again.

For several days after our little discussion Vernia continued to pull her vanishing act whenever I tried to get her to explain herself, or rather her statement. Eventually I must have I forgotten about it, we were supposed to be working after all.

Basically boring the job might be, but there are lots of things that have to be done everyday. And most of my free time was spent in conference with my (rapidly getting richer) legal representatives and worrying about how my child custody case was going.

Oh yeah, and gallivanting around with young Ingrid and Agda. Almost old enough to be their father I might be, but they were keen to disprove Gloria's statement that I was a boring old fart. Even though I had to repeatedly disappointment them in their attempts at match making.

Jesus where the hell those two Swedish girls turned up so many eligible English ladies, I have no idea. But their plan very soon became pretty obvious to me.

When I challenged the girls, they were extremely open about what they playing at. As Ingrid put it, "The Judge would love to see that you are having a loving caring stepmother lined up to take good care of the children, Graham!"

I was sure that Ingrid was probably right on that score, but regretfully there was never any chemistry between any of the females that Ingrid and Agda dug up, and myself.

Mind you, when I say gallivanting around, I don't mean gallivanting around until the early hours in the local nightclubs and the like. I'm not really one for the opera or the ballet, but I was introduced to both, and to the theatre. As well, as being dragged to the Proms at the Royal Albert Hall on more than a few occasions that autumn.

I never did work out where the girls managed to get hold of all the entrance tickets for the places we went; they can't have been cheap. They wouldn't tell me anyway. I always paid for all the transport expenses and for food, and refreshments. It was the least I could do for the two enchanting young ladies who, if nothing else, were trying their best to raise my spirits.

And, maybe keep my anger in check as well. Gloria and the wanker she was living with -- and publicly referring to as her fiancé, by the way, even though she was in fact still married to me -- were making a very difficult to maintain a reasonable relationship with my daughters.

Technically I had an interim order giving the access to the children four times a week. But Gloria and the prat's legal people were forever finding ways to cut short those visits or often circumvent them completely.

The legal wallies must have been in on their plans, because they always had an apparently legit explanation for what kept going wrong when my solicitors complained to the Judge. From my perspective they also had the Judges ear. Up-front I'd been painted as a controlling workaholic who had habitually neglected his wife and children. The inference being that I only wanted custody of the children, to spite their ever-loving mother.

If I'd been clever, I would have recorded all the telephone conversations between Gloria and myself where we arranged my access, or even discussed it. Then the judge might have understood that it was Gloria who was forever moving the goalposts, and not me who kept changing his plans. But it was a little late by the time I came up with that idea.

----------TWT----------

To be honest my demeanour around the office must have suffered some with each court hearing. From my perspective, me being able to wrestle custody of the children away from Gloria appeared to be getting far less likely.

And to make things worse -- from my perspective again -- my nice new job, meant I had a far healthier bank account for Gloria's legal team to drool over. I'm talking perspective child support payments to Gloria here. Christ those blokes are bloody cute and sodding quick off the mark. Gloria's legal people were demanding disclosure of my new salary before I'd even received any of it.

----------TWT----------

Anyway that was the state of play the Wednesday morning that my life took a complete U-turn.

I'd been out to a (very boring) recital with Ingrid and Agda the evening before and got home quite late, by the time I'd dropped both the girls home. Rising at my usual time I'd felt a little lazy and headed for a café for my breakfast and then lingered rather longer that I should have, over reading the morning newspaper.

Consequently it was nine o'clock before I pulled into my parking place at the office; where a rather frustrated looking Vernia was waiting for me along with our secretary Christine.

"Where the Christ have you been Graham, the shit's hit the fan. Your solicitor has been trying to get in touch with you since last night!" Vernia yelled, as she dived into the passenger seat.

"Why what's happened?"

"No time to talk now. Sign these so the office can get on with some work today and then we... You have to be at court before ten. Your brief wanted you there by half-nine but there's no way we can make that."

For some reason I'd always trusted Vernia, so I found myself signing the proffered forms on the dotted line without question. For all I knew I could have been signing my own death warrant. Apparently happy that I'd signed them all she snatched them away and passed them to Christine, who wished me "Good Luck Graham!" as Vernia slammed the door.

"Right lets go. To the court and don't spare the horses!"

"Vernia what the..."

"Graham, I don't know! All I'm sure of is that one of the girls from your solicitor's office has been calling since the crack of dawn and said that it's imperative that you are in court before it opens this morning. I got the idea their shoving your case in, in front of the planned list."

"But why!"

I don't know Graham. Something's obviously happened and from what the girl said, you could find yourself taking the children away from the court with you today. That's why I've come along, Jerry Hartwell thought you'd need a female with you in court. You know, make it look like you're geared up to have the children back at home, even if you aren't. Christine wanted to come but I said I'd come; you don't need everyone in the office witnessing the dirty washing being hung out to dry.

"Why today of all days did you have to turn up at the last minute, you're usually drinking coffee with me by half eight?"

"Don't know, I sort of got lost in the newspaper after I'd eaten me breakfast."

"Well, we could have used that time. Trying to get across town and find somewhere to park at this time of day is going to be no joke."

Luckily we found a parking meter near the court and ran the last few hundred yards, we hadn't even dared to try the court's little car park.

Inside the Law Courts building we were grabbed (literally) by a young girl who I recognised from my solicitors office and rushed up staircases and along corridors that I'd never seen before. I was soon to discover that we'd actually journeyed into the next building where the Family Courts were situated. We were not led into the type formal courtroom that I'd previously visited. More, a big conference room, where everybody was sitting around a very large table waiting, (obviously) impatiently.

"Please take a seat Mr Sparks!" an officious looking woman -- who turned out to be the Family Court Judge -- instructed me, before going on. "Justice Krull, has other cases this morning."

Justice Krull, was old sod who'd been presiding over Gloria and my divorce. I noted that in this courtroom apparently he played second fiddle to the Family Court Judge and her entourage of advisors.

I'll admit that I still had no idea what the hell was going on, but I noted that my Solicitor was smiling -- or rather smirking -- at Gloria's solicitor. There was no sign of the expensive barristers who had usually been present at our appearances.

The judge cleared her throat, bringing my attention back to her and away from my solicitor. I had been trying to ask him with my eyes, "What the chuffin'-'ell is going on?" All he appeared to be able to do, was smirk at his professional opponent.

"Mr's Sparks. It says in this report that you and the children are at this time sharing a house with Ronald Quinn; is that correct?"

"Yes!" Gloria replied, confidently.

"And it also suggests that you and Mr Quinn are intending to get married once your divorce from Mr Sparks is finalised. Is that correct?"

"Yes as soon as this custody business is sorted out, we will get married."

"I see, and how long have you known Mr Quinn?"

"For several years. I can't see what this has to do..."

"Oh, you'd be surprise Mrs Sparks. Did you know Mr Quinn's first wife?"

"No, no she died in Scotland before Ronald moved down here." Very suddenly Gloria appeared to have begun to loose her confidence.

"But you know how she and their children died?"

"It was an accident, Ronald was found not guilty in court."

"Ah but I'm afraid that he wasn't, Mrs Sparks. Scottish juries at not limited to verdicts of guilty or not guilty. They have a third option, not proven. This is an English Family Court and we have a more flexible approach to evidence than a normal court. First and foremost our responsibility here is the safety of the children."

"But Ronald wouldn't hurt the girls, he loves them!"

"I'm sure he says he does, Mrs Sparks. But I'm also sure he claims to love you as well. Please explain to me if that is the case how you came to be suffering from three broken ribs and under what circumstances you broke two teeth last month."

"How do you know...?"

"We have a report here that claims that Ronald Quinn has physically assaulted you on several occasions."

"No, this is wrong, Ronald would never harm me or the children on purpose!"

"I'm afraid that was the way that Jennifer Quinn, looked at things Mrs Sparks. Now she is dead and so are all three of the Quinn children. This court cannot... will not, risk a similar thing happening again."

"All right, I won't marry Ronald. I'll find somewhere else to live."

"I'm sorry Mrs Spark's, but you've shown an extreme lack of good judgement in moving your children in with Ronald Quinn in the first place. You've compounded that by not bringing the full weight of the courts down on him when Ronald Quinn assaulted you. This court is of the opinion that by far safest course is to place your children in their father's custody for the time being."

Gloria didn't give up and with her solicitor trying to persuade her to let him do the talking continued to argue with the judge, until she threatened to have Gloria removed.

Then the Judge turned to me.

"Mr Sparks have you adequate arrangements in place to care for the children."

I went to reply, but my solicitor beat me too it.

"Mr Sparks is still living in the marital home. The children's bedrooms are still there and ready for them. He also has two nannies who the children are familiar with, available to move in immediately, and another older nanny who's prepared to mentor them. And of course Mr Sparks has Miss Pool here, who came along to assist if necessary today."

"Are you trained in childcare, Miss Pool?"

"No madam, but I have five much younger siblings, who I've helped to look after since they were born." Vernia replied.

The Judge looked at one of her entourage of advisors, who smiled and nodded. Then I noted that the advisor looked at Vernia and smiled, something in her eye told me that the two women knew each other. I discovered later that Vernia and the advisor were old school friends.

Things became a little complicated after that point and I can't tell you exactly what happened because Gloria lost it completely. She had become hysterical and her legal representative was unsuccessfully trying to help from the room. I'm not sure why I did it, but I found myself rising from my seat and going to assist him.

It then fell to me to calm Gloria down out in the corridor. Rather an odd situation considering the circumstances. But eventually I managed to convince Gloria that I wouldn't behave as she had done when it came to her contact with the children. Of course, I did tell her that I would not stand for her boyfriend Quinn having any contact with them.

By the time I got back into the courtroom, it was all over and the two solicitors were apparently coming to the end of a conversation with the Judge who was presiding the divorce. All the argument and delay had been revolving around child custody so I assume the Family Courts Judges decree kinda took precedence and was about to bring the moneymaking farce to and end. The divorce judge managed to smile at me before dashing off to his first case of the day and Gloria's solicitor walked off dejectedly, I assume to find her again.

"Well we had it sown up, but that was a bloody masterstroke!" my solicitor said the moment the judge had disappeared.

"What was? Look Bernie, I've got no idea what the hell went on here this morning. When did you find out about Quinn's history?"

"We didn't, your people did; didn't they tell you? Anyway that little act you just put on with Gloria, did that go down well with the judge."

"Act?"

"Yeah dashing over to comfort her like you did, and telling her how you wanted her to have a close relationship with the children."

"That wasn't an act. Gloria's their mother, it would be criminal to keep them apart."

"After the way she's been behaving towards you?"

"Hold up Bernie. Two wrongs don't make a right, and you know it. Now, I have no idea what came over Gloria, or why she was being such a bitch. But I'm damned sure it isn't going to set a good example for our children if I behave the same way. Besides that, that bloody Judge did say "For the time being!" if I do anything stupid, it might come back and bite me!"

"Good point, but I'd watch her. Don't go letting her wangle herself back into your affections, Graham."

"I ain't mad Bernie, I'm just prepared to be magnanimous. Gloria's out of my life the moment it's up to you and that old sod sort the bloody divorce paperwork out. But that don't mean I want keep Gloria out of our children's life. Providing she behaves herself."

"That shouldn't take long now. The Family Courts decisions over child custody will take precedence, so I'd say the judge will sign the paperwork this afternoon."

"How come we finished up here today anyway?"

"That report on Ronald Quinn your people sent us yesterday. We sort of disclosed the contents to social services, along with a few nasty suggestions, and the next thing you know the balloons gone up. Quinn was charged with setting fire to his house and murdering his wife and children fifteen years ago. Luckily for us the Scottish jury brought in a verdict of Not Proven. Now, Not Proven does not, strictly in the laws eyes, mean Not Guilty. But it carries enough of a stigma to frighten the life out of the local social services people here. We just gave them the ammunition and pointed them in the right direction. And then of course, there are those unexplained injuries of Gloria's."

"How did you find out that he'd been knocking her about?"

"We didn't, it was all in that report your people sent us. Christ Graham, I wish you'd told us you had them sniffing around."

"Bernie, I have no idea who you are talking about. The only people I've had working on my divorce are your people."

"You sure?"

"Bernie, you and your oppo's have been bleeding me dry, where would I get the money to hire anyone else. Besides you're investigation people were supposed to have done all that side of things."

"Graham, that report came from Thomas Associates, they're the best in the business, there's no way in hell we would dare commit you to that kind of expense. Besides they do in depth background checks on business executive types for companies in the City, I've never heard of them doing a divorce case before."

"Well, I never employed them!"

"Strange," Bernie said thumbing through a stack of papers he'd taken from his briefcase. Hmm it's just got the initials J. H. on the paperwork. Have you any idea who that is?"

"Jerry Hartwell, it must be him." Vernia's voice said from beside me. "He's the human resources director at Goldberg's."

"Well, he'd have the clout to get Thomas's interested." Bernie said.

"Yeah, but who's paying the bloody bill?" I asked.

"J. H. I should imagine."

Vernia smiled and squeezed my arm. "Sounds like Jack Goldberg wants to keep you happy Graham. I'll bet he was behind it. See, I told you he wasn't bearing a grudge about Canella."

At this point some woman from social services approached to inform us where we could pick-up the children. They were in a room just along the corridor.

From various people Vernia and I learnt that on receiving a copy of the report Social Services had obtained an immediate court order and taken the children into their protection evening before. Quinn himself had tried to prevent them doing so and was languishing in a cell somewhere for assaulting a police officer. That kind-of explained why he wasn't with Gloria in the Family Court.

After introducing the somewhat excited to see their daddy children to Vernia -- who they took and immediate liking to -- we made our way out of the building.

On the way, I asked Bernie where he got the idea that Ingrid and Agda were going to be the children's nannies. Bernie admitted that, like myself, he had been court off-guard and had been flying by the seat of his pants. He'd met Ingrid on several occasions -- she was a witness as to Gloria's indiscretions -- and well it would appear that she'd mentioned to him that she'd love to look after the children should I succeed in gaining custody, I assume Ingrid had said something about Agda helping out as well.

"And the experienced mentor?" I asked.

Jesus Graham, both those girls are studying childcare besides English while they're over here, you know. Their lecturer seems to think quite highly of them."

"You've spoken to their college people?"

"Off course. Pointless getting a witness up before a judge and then learning something you should have known long ago."