by N2everything
i liked the double penetration. but the names were shite and to be honest a guy sucking cock and having his mouth filled with cum is turn off. sorry, but get 2 girls and a guy next time!
Keith would need a shower before returning to 'his girl'.
Good first effort, but the dialog seemed a lil un-natural. Not turned off by the two guys ;-) Hope you write some more - practice makes perfect!