All Comments on 'Tight White Bikini Panties'

Plenty like you over in IR. Go over there and do your thing. IR is your bag. This isn't the place. Maybe you just a troll.

When you've published eight stories, five of which haven't broken a 4.0 and the other three haven't broken a 3.0 that you'd realize that writing isn't for you and that no one enjoys your racist, poorly written missives.

I'm sorry, but this 'story' was a horrible read. The punctuation is all over the place, and withoug any sense of pacing or direct speech, it's very hard to follow the plot.

In addition, why did you think this story should be posted in this category? There's no erotic action whatsoever, merely a guy who thinks something might have happened, but he doesn't know, and in the end, we learn that there's even some magic involved.

Instead of rushing through this very short and confusing read, you should have taken your time and develop a proper story.

1*

Way too short, eve n for a first chapter.

Chapter One of a multipart story should be labeled as such. Many of us prefer to waiit and read a story when it is complete.

Among other advantages it avoids the annoyance caused by overly short chapters such as this.

Thank you for writing

My issues with the story center around the age of the husband and wife and the length of their marriage. I have a hard time believing they would do a photo shoot set up like that and get high and passed out drunk. Even if it was drugs beyond pot or some voodoo. She or he would sense something and never get to that point.

Next thing is regardless of a dream or spell they know each other very well. Each knows the others mannerism and reaction and tell signs. At this point in the relationship he would have point blank asked what happened and from her body language and words know if she was intimate with the two men.

Potential for a fun tale but with most Jamaican vacation stories its best with young couples or newlyweds. A fresh age more believable to succumb to temptation or if you do select mature as your subject a pair of wives or friends vacationing without husbands.

I find ALL stories about jamaican vacation 'fun' to be trite,shallow and thoroughly disinteresting, I presume this is the same! An anon comment "This is so stupid, so racist, so retarded that is difficult to understand" sums up my usual reaction to such stories, I used my better judgement on this story, and skipped straight to the comments, Seems like a good ecision from what I see written here. Drugs, voodoo and disrespectful Jamaicans are not subjects I consider erotic, interesting or worthy of being called literature. This 'story' is obviously not worth reading 2** 1 for nerve of posting and 1 for giving me chance to shoot it down!

What a lame start

Will she understand him when he tells her in Swahili that she is a divorced slut that has to move out on her own?.... if not then just end it here before you alienate your audience for good.

Ok you’re allowed one, but don’t over do it.

This doesn’t read like English isn’t your first language, it reads like you have no grasp of plot or grammar. Judging from your other stories I’d guess you are female, single with a fetish for bbc even though you obviously don’t have any respect for black people. No respect for marriage and relying on awful racial stereotypes.

The English was really bad, such as past where passed was proper, to where too is proper, etc.

This was simply awful story telling. Not a single interesting or entertaining part to it.

1 star

Pathetic ir troll piece written by a borderline racist idiot.

Lmao

Poorly written, not spell checked, grammar poor. Not sure if this has been translated but it really does not read properly. Frankly it is about as exciting as a wet paper bag.

Sorry, but I will not be looking for Part 2 if there is one, other than to avoid,

No continuation and I don't believe her. Time for a divorce.

Stop writing!