Tim Me 01

Tim Me 01

If I would have told this story only a few short months ago, I would have probably introduced myself as Timid, rather than as Tim Me, but that was before I realized that I had my appearance and attitude where I wanted them and it was time to put my best foot forward and figure out how to fit in, so, today, I'm coming to you as Tim Me. It also just about the time when I decided to become a villain Trap.

Well, before I settled on becoming a villain, I thought I'd make a good Wolfblood Trap, but this guy I knew basically just tricked me into taking his Wolfblood and I never transformed into any more than a Trap with a little experience. But at least I found out that there is no such thing as a Wolfblood and that it's more than just wolves that howl at midnight. Zack from the Pizza Shop howled pretty good too!

Anyways, back to my more realistic goal of becoming a villain, a villain who keeps his villain costumes in the other closet, I've already picked out my villain colors as black and red, which is not the same as red and black and I'm well on my way to achieve my latest goal.

I mean, why not, right, because other than villains have tried to destroy the world umpteen times since the dawn of super hero movies, I mean, it's not the worst thing in world to have a little villain in your life or so I have been told. So, even though I may not be for you in the long haul, if you can handle a little villain crossdresser in your life, I mean, stop by my Chang page and say "hey" to me and I'll say it back. And if you happen to live near where I live in Middleton and you have a thing for villains, I mean, say "hey" to me with purpose and we'll see if we match up. I mean, I just said it, I'm opening up and I'm leaving being timid behind in the villain lair, so.

And please, by "say hey with purpose", please, I don't mean suggesting the seedy hotel complete with pin point GPS directions for the purpose of shady sex. I know where the seedy hotel is in Middleton and no matter how many times the Middleton leadership denies it, the seedy hotel is still located on the Strip, no matter how far up and away from the hustle and bustle of the weekend nightlife on the Strip. So, if you're the one who gets lost, just get on the Strip and keep driving north and you'll find it. Right across the Strip from the shady hotel, so.

Anyways, as I said above, my soon to be villain status colors are black and red, which is different than red and black, my hair is midnight black and I don't have any red tips yet, but I do have a red visor with a black zig zag lightning bolt on the front, I like my eyes lined with black and my cheeks on the red end of the color spectrum, I have no issue wearing a black high top on my left foot and a red high top on my right foot, my villain truck is villain black with red villain accenting details, my thighs are unfairly judged because my tight black Lycra blended shorts leave red ring marks around them when I sit down for too long and my villain code name at the shady hotel Redd Wolfblood Thighs, which, of course, is my joke for this story and when I wear Denim jeans of any length, they are black and most of my shirts have a red base.

But as a villain in training, don't expect too much from me in the beginning. I am leaving timid behind, but for my safety and for the sakes of my nosey neighbors, you will not be charming your way into my Condo at first and nope, for my safety against being chained and duct taped to your bed in your faggot flop house, well, I won't be charmed there any time soon either since I'm not really all that much of a villain yet to break free, so, well, I mean, I think the seedy hotel is cleaner than the shady hotel, so, I'm just saying, without saying anything. Well, I'll say that Zack from the Pizza Shop would agree with me, but I have no more to say about that. Other than Zack very hairy wolf legs. To grab onto.

Anyways, I really like my Condo life. Some developer bought a small parcel of land on a corner and built a ten Condo unit complex where you would think that a small Strip Mall should be located, so, it's small and quaint and it's perfect for me. Only I keep my living quarters a secret, so if you drive past the corner of Oak and Elm, near the "Stop & Rob" convenience store and the gas station and you say to yourself, "huh, it seems like there should be a small Strip Mall right here instead of a small Condo complex", nope, that's not where I live. And I definitely don't live in the Condo with the black and red ribbons that tie the window curtains back in the Condo on the eastern most end of the quaint complex, so, move along then because where I live is a secret. For my safety, of course.

And as I hope I mentioned earlier, I have been getting out more, with a few lessons learned, like how there is no such thing as a Wolfblood, no matter how many times Zack keeps texting me about when the next full moon is and I've taken on a few exciting and risky adventures too, like driving out to the Truck Stop off of the highway to fuel up my villain truck instead of using the gas station near my Condo. There is actually an excitement level difference, which comes with a few risks, which would be a great time to be a Wolfblood, but so far, I have won all of the battles at the Truck Stop just off of the highway and have met a few people. Questionable people, for sure, but as a villain, I can handle that. It's written in the rules. And it makes it harder for anyone to track me to find out where I live since the local gas station is so close to my Condo.

And speaking of my Condo a few Friday nights ago, I mean, I mentioned my nosey neighbors, right?

"So, Mr. Netherman, can I assume that the wife is napping or taking a shower since you're stalking me, I mean, talking to me as I'm on my way out for a few hours then, hmm?"

"Timmy, it's legit this time!"

"Please, it's Tim Me at this time of a Friday night. Check the look and outfit, Mr. Netherman, but go on with how you're having faggot tendencies for me these days, so?"

"Well, the wife is in the shower, but listen, she is having a few of her girl friends over tonight for some girl chit chat stuff, so there will be a few extra vehicles in the visitors parking spots, you know, where they belong and have cause no reason to raise any alarms, but as the good neighbor, well, I just wanted to let you know that, Tim Me, so?"

"Oh, and will you be informing everyone else in the complex of the same thing then, Mr. Netherman, hmm? I mean, there are eight other units that should be made aware of your good neighborly deed, right, Mr. Netherman, hmm?"

[Mr. Netherman checks fancy wrist watch]

"Oh, well, never mind all that! Anyways, it's not like I keep track of your comings and goings, but you seem to be headed out 16.27 minutes early tonight, Tim Me, so?"

"Oh, I mean, I have extra things to do tonight, Mr. Netherman. I need to fuel up my villain truck with fuel in advance of the Midsummer, Medieval, After Dark Festival tomorrow evening and I have been driving out to the Truck Stop for my fuel lately because the Truck Stop adds an extra layer of excitement to my life and its good practice for my villain training..."

[Mr. Netherman presses a button on his fancy wrist watch]

"And that generally takes about 15 minutes and then on my way back to hang out on the Strip for a while, well, I plan on swinging by the "Stop & Rob" convenience store for my Friday night snack sticks and a couple of other things..."

[Mr. Netherman presses a button on his fancy wrist watch]

"And then I'm stopping into the Pizza Shop after all that for a couple of minutes..."

[Mr. Netherman presses another button on his fancy wrist watch]

"And then I'm just going to hit the Strip for a while like any other Friday night and then, well, with the Midsummer, Medieval, After Dark Festival being such a big deal, I think I'll call it a night early and I should be back in my Condo driveway by say, 10:30pm, so."

[Mr. Netherman presses another button on his fancy wrist watch]

"Or 11pm at the latest."

[Mr. Netherman presses yet another button on his fancy wrist watch]

"Oh, well then, that's good to know then, Tim Me, so, I mean, getting back to the initial tracking entry, I mean, the first thing that you're doing tonight, I mean, you probably attract your fair share of villain boyfriends who offer to pump your gas for you then, right, Tim Me?"

"LOL, oh, you could say that again, Mr. Netherman, I mean, if pumping my gas is the same as half of them wanting to pump me in the ass, but it's all fun and normal villain Trap stuff. And I'm barely above the squeezing of the nozzle level, so I still get my gas and all I have to do is to lean forward with a nozzle in my hand and push my ass out, so. You know, in these villain shorts, so."

"OMG, Tim Me, I'm going to pass out! But tell me more, aha, aha, aha!"

"Harold? Harold! Get inside, now!"

"LOL, or you're going to get knocked out, Mr. Netherman, tee he, bye. Hey, Mrs. Netherman, kiss, kiss. And you look amazing in a head wrap towel and a bath robe, Mrs. Netherman, absolutely amazing, so, bye now."

"Hmm! Well."

[Kicks out one leg a little for that stance that women have perfected]

And for all of you ladies who are swimming for fun or for trophies right now, yep, it pays off later in life. And you can save money by only needing the shortest of bath robes because you might as well show off what your sports training gave you, not that I'm obsessed with thighs to die for or anything.

[Stop & Rob convenience store door chime jingle, jangle]

"Clyde, I have this list of ingredients that I would like placed into my order, please, so?"

"Tim Me and I have one nut that still works and I would like to place my half load stream between your butt cheeks, so? Well, it's more of an ooze and a drizzle, but still, so?"

"Clyde! That's disgusting. Well, that's sad first, but then that's disgusting next. So, ahem!"

"Fine, keep your sex all to yourself then, Tim Mee! And what's this? You're making Jell-O shots?"

"Six. Deep Black Cherry Red because those are my villain colors and I might fall under someone's charms tomorrow night at the Midsummer, Medieval, After Dark Festival, so, just in case something crazy happens, I want a couple of shots handy. I think they will help me be a villain in the bed for the right person, so?"

"Damn it, Tim Me, I'd go six deep in your butt, but one box mix makes at least 25 shots! Also, what if I promise to go only four deep, hmm?"

"Well, then I guess I'm making 25 vodka Jell-O shots then! I also guess that I'm wandering around the Condo for the rest of the weekend drunk, which means I'll probably wander around my Condo in just my undies and maybe a black and red villain sports bra, but oh well, 25 shots it is then!"

"Aha, aha, aha, and where is your Condo at then, Tim Me?"

"Clyde, you know I keep that a secret, but since the complex is a single row of ten units, I don't have to worry about many peepers through my front windows and the people on Elm Street drive too fast to peep on me as they drive by the front and the common area behind the strip of Condo's is no more than a thin grassy area strip that is defined by the row of pine trees, which is what separates my tiny complex from the small assembly factory right behind the row of pine trees, so stop trying to trick me into letting on where I live, so."

"Fine, here are your ingredients and unfortunately, my shelves have been cleaned out of your poppy stick snacks, Tim Me!"

[Jots down Elm Street and small factory behind row of pine trees]

"Oh, drat, well Clyde, just add two bottles of red power drinks to my order for the lawncare guy. He comes by on Saturday mornings and even though his machine can cut the entire small grassy common area in like under six minutes because it's no more than 20 steps deep and a total waste of a common area that none of us can use, well, he parks his truck and trailer rig near my end of complex and he is always sweating and huffing and puffing after only making eight passes with his power mower, so lately, I have been giving him power drinks to power him back up and last Saturday I powered him back up with a few smooches and now I think the lawncare guy has some expectations. And a lot of power, so?"

"Tim Me, I'm going to pass out!"

"And he might whack the weeds tomorrow morning with his weed whacker tool and since we've been getting closer lately with some sloppy kisses, well, I might whack his weed whacker tomorrow."

"Tim Me, my eyes balls are rolling back in my head!"

"Unless I have a Jell-O shot or two for lunch. Then I might kiss his weed whacker like I know is what he wants me to do. But since I might be a little drunk and silly, then I might ask him to put a rubber band around one of his nuts to cut off its flow so I know what a one nut load is like since you just mentioned that's how you roll, Clyde, so?"

[Plop, Clyde passed out]

Clyde will be fine! He passes out for CD's and Traps all the time. But drat for him not having any of my favorite tasty stick treats!

Anyways, next stop, LOL, the Truck Stop for gas.

[Truck Stop Service Station door chime, jingle, jangle. Well, more of a cow bell clank, clunk]

"Melvin, have you been purposely turning off the credit card reader at the pump when I pull up to fill up my villain truck lately, hmm? I mean, I seem to be the only one who has to come inside to pay and by the way, I can hear your little security cameras going all "grr, grr, grr" as they turn and follow me as I'm walking, so, confess Melvin!"

"Oh, um, Tim Me, um, there was a lightning strike and a solar flare and then a fender bender that hit the electric pole and then a communication satellite got out of sync and then it's déjà vu every Friday night when you arrive at the Truck Stop for your fuel and I cannot control any that! But I may control the cameras and so what if I like what I see then, hmm, Tim Me?"

"Sheesh, Melvin, did you ever think to just start with that? I mean, I might be a total villain, but I have my human moments too. And I just said that I'm a villain, so stop with the funny eye ball looks! I'm on my way to becoming a villain!"

[Pause the story at the cashier counter to let that questionable moment pass]

Screw you, bracket narrator! I'm a villain! I wear black and red!

[Uh-huh. Whatever]

"Well, are you just going to come inside of station from now on then, Tim Mee? And flash your thong from the rear as I capture you on video as you walk back to your villain truck, hmm?"

"Well, we can start fresh, Melvin, but no more sneaky stuff. But I will come inside more often then, but do not expect a lot from me in the beginning. I'm a villain, not a Wolfblood. Now, Melvin, since I'm already inside of the store area, do you carry any rubber bands and poppy stick snacks, hmm?"

"Ugh, Tim Me, do I have to kill myself if I have to tell you that we don't carry those tasty treats yet and can I live if I promise to have them on the next delivery truck, huh? I mean, Tim Me, am I your Truck Stop boyfriend now? Also, and what are the rubber bands for anyways, huh?"

Well, I didn't even know to respond to that, other than to slightly push the rear of my shorts down a tad as I walked back to my truck. My black and red villain truck!

[Sheesh, no comment]

"So, do you need some help with the nozzle then? And would you like to see my big rig next, hmm?"

"Oh, I mean, Melvin will get mad if you pump my gas and he will just shut off the pump, so thank you, but no thank you. And I'm sure that your big rig is a big rig, so, well, the gang of hookers are just over there, so?"

"Yeah, but, you're the fresh face here and I've been through all of the hookers already, so?"

"What? I mean, there must be 15 hookers lurking just over there! Oh, oh, you mean you're regular here at the Truck Stop and they are regular hookers here at the Truck Stop, so over time, they have all at least sucked you off three or four times so, got it now, but still, no thanks. Also, I mean, did you just say that I have the fresh face of a villain then, hmm?"

[Pause the story at the fuel pump area to let that questionable moment pass]

"Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, a villain, if that helps me get a fresh face blow job on my big rig and inside of my big rig tonight, so, woo, woo, you're a villain!"

"Well, anyways, I have a boyfriend and Melvin from inside is my boyfriend, so you're just going to have to put up with another "same ole, same ole" blow job from one of the regular hookers here at the Truck Stop tonight, so?"

"What? You're dating my son, Melvin then? Well wait, I mean, as a villain, you're suppose to take on the entire family then, tee he, right, villain? Show me your villain fighting stance, you know, inside of my big rig!"

Well, well, what the hell, right? Also, well snap, there goes a decent possibility of a relationship! But I would follow up with Melvin again another day since he promised that he would start stocking my favorite chocolate coated stick snacks. But maybe on the brighter side of sundown.

But then it was time to hit the Strip on my way home. Not that I was looking for literally anyone who knew how to mix Jell-O shots.

[Park, truck door, oops, villain truck door opens and closes]

"Say, hey, Lita, what's up then?"

"Oh, you know, Tim Me, I'm just hanging out on the Strip and you know, preparing to offer you a trade that you will accept. Also, I'm scooting over close to you, but not as your girlfriend!"

[Villain truck door opens and closes, scoot, well, squish for the next pair of hips to squeeze into the villain truck]

"Marta, ah?"

"Drive, Tim Me and get hypnotized by, I mean, listen to Lita!"

[Villain truck style vroom, vroom, vroom up the Strip]

"Now, Tim Me, I have in my backpack, a box of regular chocolate poppy stick snacks [whoosh] and that was $2 and I have a box of white chocolate sticks snacks [whoosh] for another $2 and I have one box of dark chocolate stick snacks [whoosh] for yet another $2 and I have three boxes of raspberry chocolate stick snacks [whoosh, whoosh, whoosh] for a total of $6, so, open your mouth and enjoy one while you drive to the Sexy Leather Shop half way up the Strip! Yum, yum, yum, Tim Me, open up, yum, yum, yum!"

[Crunch, crunch, crunch. That's it. They are really small and thin stick snacks]

"Also, Tim Me, these are ridiculously small snacks! But you love them and you eat them like all the time and the chocolate flavors hypnotize you and you've never known how it feels to have someone poke one of them in and out of your mouth before, but now you love that [poke, poke, poke] and now you're going to park in front of the Sexy Leather Shop, well, you might make it to a parking spot if you would keep your eyes on the road more than on Marta's creamy thighs, which you melt for, but then [poke, poke, poke] we're just going to do a little window shopping and nothing more, Tim Me, unless we see something that would be a big hit at the Midsummer, Medieval, After Dark Festival tomorrow [poke, poke, poke], like you arranged for Suzie from the Pizza Shop to have, so, park your villain truck while I continue to poke your mouth with this super thin, yet tasty treat and while you realize the dark chocolate coating is close to black and the raspberry is a true red and I even though I do have a boyfriend at the moment, Tim Me, I mean, Marta won't tell if you nibble once on my finger as I poke this tasty chocolate stick snack into your, ouch, your mouth, ouch, and villain dream of Marta and myself, ouch, in similar sexy leather, ouch, medieval outfits to what Suzie tricked you, ouch, into buying for her and, ouch, Tim Me!"

Well, I only pulled over and parked directly in front of the Sexy Leather Shop because there was a spot and maybe because the window displays were more of a villain nature than anything else, so. And to check Lita's index finger for bite marks.