Time Flies By

Udit and Jaya lay side by side – each on their own zone of the large king size bed.

A wedding buy from nearly five years ago, the bed had seen many happier, amorous times. The first fiery days of passionate lovemaking had slowly descended into a more sedate companionship and finally to the current state of aloof coexistence.

Both knew at the start of their relationship that ennui sets in over the course of time! That was the truth of every relation; and both had been aware of the pitfalls which come with the passage of time and had been determined at the time to do everything they could to avoid it.

But as so often happens with even the best laid plans, somewhere in the rat race of time – this one too had fallen apart. Even two people very much in love and determined to spend a lifetime together cannot always keep all their promises to each other.

And that's how it starts. Always.

One missed dinner.

One missed weekend getaway.

One forgotten anniversary.

One harried brushing kiss.

The small little things. Which at the end of it all add up to two people who maybe share the same house, the same room and even maybe the same bed – to keep up pretences – but lying next to each other, they wish they could smother the one next to them with a pillow.

Both of them were awake – desperately hoping for sleep maybe. Jaya lay on her side, staring at the large French doors next to her side of the bed. She could see outside – straight to the small backyard garden.

The garden!

It was Udit's heart and soul. She never even knew that her husband had any interest in gardening – let alone expect his complete absorption with the different orchids and cacti he had planted.

She hated it with a passion.

When one fine day Udit had come home early from office – carrying an armful of gardening books and tools – she had been bemused! She knew of boys and their toys! She always thought of gardening as a hobby for the elderly – she remembered the obsession her grandfather had with his own terrace garden – and the pride with which he had loved to show off his prized flowers!

But the sudden interest of her thirty-odd years old husband in gardening – and the tremendous zeal with which he attacked it – struck her! She had never seen him so utterly engaged in anything! Udit spent hours reading about different plants, their origins, their likes and dislikes, what should be the acidity of the soil, what percent loam should be mixed, what amount of sunlight – at which angle and for how long – he deeply scrutinised each and every aspect of his prized plants and followed them religiously.

Once or twice she had made fun of his obsession – standing at the edge of the deck while Udit toiled in the garden below – "What made you choose that particular cacti? It doesn't even look pretty!"

Udit had just glanced up at her in that condescending way she had come to hate – dismissive and arrogant at the same time – she turned away – the sudden unbidden tears of shame in her eyes – hot and moist.

Soon after her already distant husband seemed even more unapproachable. He was hardly ever home – and whenever he was – most of the time was spent with his precious cacti. Jaya sometimes wondered if he had a mistress – pretty sure that she would've preferred a live rival in the flesh rather than a potted plant as a competitor for her husbands' attention.

After that point, Jaya had had to give up. She needed a companion – and if her husband wasn't going to be it – she was going to find one on her own.

She had always had a flair for the dramatic arts, having acted in various plays throughout her school days. She had desperately wanted to study art and drama for college, but an overly confined household steepled with the unfulfilled dreams of her parents had forced her to go the traditional, stable route, followed by a teaching degree – and then of course – marriage!

The school she taught at was extremely competitive – known for sending more students to the top technical schools than any other in the state. The curriculum was intense and the focus of both the faculty and the student body was firmly on the prize – coveted seats in the top medical and technological schools. Nobody had time for anything else.

As a language faculty, Jaya's status wasn't really that far above that of the janitor – viewed by most as a necessary evil – she was barely tolerated by the students and sneered upon by most of the science staff.

When she brought up the idea of a drama club during one of the quarterly budget sessions, she could feel the unease around the room. Most of her colleagues stared at her in undisguised horror and contempt – as if she had proposed a heinous crime – something so unsuited among the dignified walls of their monument. However to the surprise and shock of not only Jaya but almost everyone, several of the influential trustees had seemed to like the idea of a drama club; unlike Jaya – they weren't really looking to imbue a bit of colour in the children's lives – it was simply about putting another extra-curricular activity to the already loaded application packages of their students – anything to reach business school!

She didn't even realize her seduction by Sumit was underway – till she felt pressed up against him, his lips brushing hers in the darkened, empty parking lot – one summer night after the end of long rehearsals.

Sumit – the communications instructor in the elite school came with the exact right set of pedigrees – fair, classically handsome, suave, well educated and well versed in both the romance languages as well as the cold calculations of the practical business. He had been one of the most enthusiastic collaborators for her drama club, actively recruiting students, suggesting plays to act, and very subtly guiding her on ways to portray the activity as a mandatory skill for students to ace undergraduate interviews – rather than how she thought of it – as pure childish fun!

The contrast between this gentle and thoughtful man and her boorish husband was inevitable in her mind – however unfair it may seem to the innocent bystander. While Sumit could inevitably discuss the subtle qualities, which leant that magical aura to the works of Chaucer, he was equally well-versed with the modern classics by say Vonnegut or Fitzgerald.

Soon they started spending a few extra minutes after rehearsals – to discuss the next steps, the selections for the main roles, how to set up the stage, the budget for the costumes and what not. Jaya didn't even realize when a few minutes stretched to thirty accompanied by an initial gentle squeeze of the hand.

When she felt Sumit's lips on hers, she hesitated for only a second – the image of her husband's condescending smile filled her head – she responded back. A tentative peck, a gentle flick of her tongue – the sweet taste of his lips – so different from the rough, coarse demands from Udit.

They hadn't gone further in the parking lot; Jaya giddy as a teenager had still pushed Sumit away.

She had been wracked with guilt on her way back home – certain one look from Udit will tell him all that he needed to know. Instead his cold indifference and callous uncaring attitude had emboldened her.

Soon, gentle touches during the day became the norm for her and Sumit. A quickly stolen kiss here and there, holding each other's hands while they could – it was as if Jaya was finally having the teenaged high school romance she had always wanted.

As the drama club progressed – so had her romance with Sumit. Frequent stolen kisses during the day had morphed into long afternoons of passionate lovemaking for the amorous couple. Jaya used to be terrified that Udit will find out – and when he did – she had no idea what to do or say. Sumit had calmed her – if someone had a wife as attractive as her – and ignored her completely – he must be involved with someone on the side as well.

Jaya used to be scared stiff the first few times – even after showering at Sumit's bachelor apartment and making sure to carefully conceal any signs of their lovemaking, she still used to worry about Udit finding out.

But of course, he never did. If anything, he seemed to be more distant in the recent past. More uncaring. More dispassionate.

Their lovemaking, never frequent had completely dried up. Perhaps it was a duty for him – which he no more felt obligated to perform.

Any and all communications between the two of them used to be just household related – what needed to be done – what needed to be bought and what bills need to be paid. They were roommates – and nothing more.

Sumit had recently started asking her to marry him – leave the uncaring oaf she was married to – and find her own true passion – with him.

Even though the idea excited Jaya, she knew she couldn't do that. No matter how standoffish Udit was to her, he was a godsent son-in-law. The son her parents had never had. She never understood that how this uncaring man who never showed her any iota of love, could be so caring, so compassionate and so involved with her parents.

She had tried a couple of times to tell them of her unhappiness in the marriage – they had pooh poohed it away. To them, Udit was a gem – hardly deserving of someone as untalented and as uncaring as her. They will never support her decision to leave him – that too for another man.

That's when Sumit had proposed to off her husband – on a more permanent fashion. The first time he had said it, while they were embraced on his tousled bed, entangled in between crushed sheets, he had brought it about so casually – Jaya had simply laughed it away as idle talk of a jealous lover.

But Sumit had brought it up again the next time they had met, and slowly Jaya had begun to realize that he was serious. He really wanted to kill Udit.

Not as a crime of passion. Not really.

More as a crime of convenience. Get rid of the obstacle of a pesky husband. Make sure Jaya gets all the property – the cash, the investments, the house which Udit had built up – and after a suitable period of mourning, marry her true love – Sumit.

Jaya had ignored him – but Sumit had kept at it. Slowly, patiently chipping away at her reluctance. It was her seduction all over again. But this time with a bloodier ending.

Jaya had thought about it long and hard. Udit for all his flaws had never hurt her – physically at least. He simply had lost interest. He had been condescending to her – but never abusive. They had lost their passion yes – but had they lost their love too? And had they gone so far that the love was now replaced by hatred so deep that she could murder him?

She couldn't. She definitely couldn't

She wanted to confess her affair to Udit – the rough, hardworking calloused man – her man. The one who had supported her in all she wanted to do. Her lover! He had taken her to her drama lessons when after their marriage – during happier times – she had professed her love for the arts. He had made time to attend her performances, applauded them as loudly as any doting parent! He had encouraged her during the times she had been passed over for some role, been supportive and kind when she wanted to just give up and had helped her find her teaching job – as an ex-alum and one of the largest donors – he had enough pull to make sure she was hired.

As she lay there, next to her husband – her husband oh my god – she realized suddenly what a fool she had been! She had been running after someone who couldn't hold two pennies to her Udit! Someone who only felt like a man when he pulled Udit down. Someone who ... did Sumit even love her? Or was the seduction planned to worm his way to her pants – and now into her husband's cheque book?

Jaya felt claustrophobic.

She tried to take a deep breath to calm down – but a growing sense of unease seemed to be creeping all along her veins.

She realized she couldn't move.

She felt the bed move next to her – Udit was stirring – she tried to call out – but hardly a gasp escaped her constricted thought.

She felt his eyes on her – Udit was up on his sides – looking at her – an unfathomable expression on his face.

"This is goodbye Jaya!"

She stared at him – uncomprehending – but her sense of dread growing.

"Your boyfriend will find his own comeuppance in due time – but for you my love – this is the end of the road!"

Jaya blinked rapidly – not sure of what he was saying.

"You see I have known about your little tryst with the toad in the communications department from the start – don't look so startled Jaya – I am friends with the janitor after all"

Jaya tried to open her mouth in protest – but could only gag in discomfiture – she didn't understand why she seemed to be totally frozen. Her toes and fingers felt frozen – and her heart was thumping in her chest – but worst of all – no matter how hard she seemed to try – she couldn't move a muscle.

Udit smiled at her again – the sadness overcoming his features and the pain in his voice evident.

"Why Jaya? I guess I will not know! It's okay though! After all this is not the first time you strayed! But this will be the last!"

Jaya looked at him in confusion – what was he talking about?

"You see you thought I didn't know about you and Rajan! How my business partner had "bumped" into you during one of the times I was late to our date – and how you became so drunk – that you couldn't help showing him your appreciation for his company! And how that went on for months!"

"Ah – I see from the look on your face that you had either totally forgotten about that – or had no idea that I knew! Did you ever wonder I pulled away Jaya? Maybe you should have asked! Didn't you pause and think for once why suddenly Rajan became my ex-business partner? Or were you so wrapped up in your own world – that you didn't simply care?"

"Anyway! You had your fun with that slimy weasel Jaya – I knew about it ever since the first torrid kiss – but I let you have your fun – I knew you wouldn't be able to keep it up for long. I knew I will do my bit. This time I was willing to let you go. I don't believe in forcing someone to be in a relationship if they don't want to be. I did it last time as I thought there was something still left. There isn't! I couldn't never not picture you with Rajan! But you and your lover made a major mistake when you decided you wanted me out of the picture on a more permanent fashion. You wonder how I found out? I had put a recorder in your purse from the very day I found out from the janitor at school that you had been making out with the communications instructor. "

Jaya tried to squirm and open her mouth and respond – she couldn't. She was getting more panicky by the second – there seemed to be a heavy weight settling over her chest – each breath was becoming more struggled.

"When I heard that you had decided to off me – albeit a bit reluctantly – from the bits of the conversation that I could pick up, I had to finally call an end to this charade. It has gone on for long enough – don't you think?"

"I mixed something to your night cream Jaya – a barbiturate – it gets absorbed through your skin – and it acts in a few hours. It shuts your nervous system down. And you know the best part? Not a trace of it remains! If even the most well-trained doctor examined you – even they will find nothing!"

Jaya looked at her husband – disbelieving but also feeling constricted – the pressure about to burst on her chest.

He smiled at her again – gently running his hands through her hair in a sudden affectionate gesture strangely reminiscent of the past – "Do you know what the investigators WILL find though? Traces of ecstasy in your system – the same strain which someone just reported your lover for trying to sell to a bunch of high schoolers!"

Jaya's head lolled to the side – her almost unseeing eyes looking back at the garden – the hateful cacti once again!

She heard Udit chuckle – "Oh one last thing Jaya – you will love hearing this! You know where I got the barbiturates from? Extracted them fresh from the cacti! The very one you hate so much!"