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You have no idea.
"I'm notthatold," I lie with a chuckle, thinking about how I'malmostold enough to be her father.
That gentle, comfortable silence falls between us again as we both sip our coffee. Simply sitting here basking in the glory of her attention is enough to make me happy, though I'm also enjoying the sound of her pretty voice. I'm glad when she speaks again.
"So your sister seems nice," Phaedra comments to keep our conversation going.
"Charli?" I say.
One of my most genuine smiles is reserved for when I think about Charli, and it spreads over my lips now as I gush, "Charli is great. She's the most terrific person I know. She's my best friend. I love her a lot."
"That's so cool," Phaedra says wistfully. "I love my brother, too, but sometimes I wish I had a sister."
I feel a touch of remorse as I allow Phaedra to continue believing Charli is my sister. This is one of the dark sides to being Fravashi. We have to lie to people all the time. Even if I eventually tell the truth, these little lies I spit out still make me feel dirty.
"Is Daniel younger or older than you?" I ask.
"Younger. He's my little brother."
"When you two were kids did you ever dress him up like a girl?" I chuckle.
Phaedra laughs, admitting, "Yeah, I did. My mom took pictures and everything. He was so cute!"
"Hah! I knew it!" I grin. "Charli never did anything like that to me, thank god."
So far I've been purposefully ignoring the elephant in the room. I figure if Phaedra wants to talk about what happened at Sullivan's then she'll bring it up herself. She doesn't, though, as our conversation continues. Our food arrives, and we keep talking as we slowly eat.
Phaedra points her fork at me and says, "Most embarrassing moment. Go."
Oh jeez. I've had so many, but the most embarrassing? I hesitate to tell this story, but what the hell?
"I guess I was twelve when this happened. It was summer break, and me and the family were out camping. Our last night there it was after sunset when I had to...attend to some business in the bushes."
"Number one or number two?" Phaedra asks with a mild giggle.
"Number two. Anyway, I lost my balance and fell on some plants after I'd already dropped trou, only what I landed on wasn't exactly some random foliage. It was poison ivy."
"Oh no," she giggles harder.
"Yeah, right? I got it all over the worst possible part of my lower anatomy."
"Ouch!" Phaedra grimaces.
"Needless to say I was pretty miserable all night. My mom gave me some anti-itch cream, but it barely put a dent in the itching and burning. The ride home the next day was horrid."
"I can only imagine," she says.
Phaedra shakes her head in sympathy at my plight from ages past.
"It gets worse. We get home, and the next day is Sunday. My parents are church goers, and of course theydidn'tgive me a pass. Not even in my condition. So we're sitting there in church, listening to the pastor, and I'm fighting so hard against the urge to justscratch. Eventually I can't take it anymore, and I get up and go to the bathroom.
"The itching is so bad by the time I get into the toilet stall that I don't even bother unbuttoning. I whip my zipper down, pull my underware to the side, and scratch and scratch and scratch. I'm practically numb down there by the time I stop, but it was such a relief.
"I felt a lot better, so I walk back out to sit down with my family. I remember Cindy Jasper was the first one to notice. She was about my age, and I had a giant crush on her. Cindy looks over at me as I leave the bathroom, and her eyes getrealbig as she sees it. She starts laughinghard.
"The pastor notices next. He asks me, 'Max, son...did you forget something?'."
"Oh, you didn't," Phaedra grins hugely, her eyes widening with mirth.
"As soon as the pastor says somethingeveryonein the church turns to see me standing there with my wang hanging out, all red and puffy."
"Oh my god, that's terrible!" Phaedra laughs uproariously.
I can't help but chuckle, too. Phaedra is giggling so hard she snorts a little, which makes me chuckle even more.
"Yup. I forgot to put the tools back in the shed, but wait...it gets worse," I laugh.
Phaedra is practically rolling by now, her eyes tearing up from laughter.
"How could it get any worse?" she asks.
"I'm so embarrassed I just reach down to zip up without thinking. Remember that first scene from 'Something About Mary'?"
"Oh god...no!" she can barely mutter, in full-force guffaw territory by now.
"Oh, yeah. That was me," I say with a lopsided grin, hitching a thumb at my chest. "Caught my junk in the zipper. So, I'm lying there all bleeding from my testicles, with my wang hanging out and theentirecongregation watching. My folks had to take me to the ER and everything. Most. Embarrassing. Day. Ever."
Phaedra can't even talk right now from how hard she's giggling. I'm so enraptured by the beauty of her laugh that I just sit and smile, laughing with her for a bit. I feel so stupidly happy right now.
"I'm glad you find my suffering so funny," I finally manage to say with a smile once I catch my breath.
"You have to admit that'sfunny," Phaedra says once her own laughter dies down.
"Nowit is," I acknowledge, my smile continuing. "Back then, not so much. Alright, your turn."
"Okay," she giggles. "Let's see..."
Phaedra gets a thoughtful expression for a few moments before telling me, "I'm not sure I can top yours, but here's my most embarrassing moment..."
"I was sixteen, and it was my sophomore year in high school. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to take weight training for my PE requirement. Our PE classes were co-ed, so I guess I just wanted to ogle all the buff boys."
"Understandable," I comment.
"As it turned out, a senior boy I had a serious crush on was in the same hour as me, which made this all the worse. One night my mom made chili for dinner. My mom makesreallygood chili, so I ate way too much of it. The next day I had some really, really bad gas. I had to hold it in during class all morning. My guts were rumbling pretty badly by the end of the morning classes."
"I think I see where this is going," I grin.
"As soon as lunch rolled around I went to the bathroom and squeezed out as much as I could. I thought I was okay. I had PE right after, so there I am doing bench presses with my girlfriend spotting me. I didn't mean to, but I let out a little squeaker. Everyone started chuckling and looking around to see where it came from."
"Oh boy," I snicker.
"I couldn't help it. I started to laugh in embarrassment right in the middle of pushing the bar back up. It's hard to do bench presses if you're laughing. So, the bar comes crashing down on my chest a little hard, pushing out another fart, but this one islouder."
"Oh, damn," I chuckle harder.
"This time, everyone knows it's me. The bar on my chest is starting to hurt my boobs, but I can't stop laughing...and farting. Other kids are seriously laughing at me at this point. My poor girlfriend looked petrified. I think she was torn between helping me and pretending she didn't know me.
"Eventually, she tried to lift the bar off me, but she's not strong enough to do it at the angle she's standing. She ends up having to step forward, and she's making thesesoundstrying to lift the weights off me.
"So there I am laughing and farting loudly. My girlfriend is standing with her crotchrightover my face, and with the noises she's making it sounds like she's having an orgasm."
"Oh god," I mutter, laughinghardat this point as I picture the scene.
Phaedra giggles as she says, "It took me a while to live down the nickname 'lesbian ass eruption'."
"Oh Jesus!" I blurt out, laughing so hard there are tears rolling down my face. "You win! That's way worse than mine!"
It takes me a minute to recover, and I wipe my eyes dry with a napkin.
"Kind of funny both of our most embarrassing moments involved our crushes at the time," I observe.
"Yeah," Phaedra nods, a wistful look of remembrance coming over her.
"So, do you have a crush on anyone now?" I ask innocently.
Her eyes widen, and she looks down at her food. It's a long, agonizing moment as I wait for Phaedra to speak again.
The dark-haired beauty peeks her gorgeous eyes up at me briefly, revealing, "I'm starting to."
We both eat some more of our meals, a pleasant and eager tension hanging in the air between us before I break the silence.
"How long have you been teaching?"
Phaedra looks back up at me, and I can tell I hit on a topic she's extremely enthusiastic about.
"I just started my fourth year," she smiles fondly.
"You really like it, don't you?"
"Yeah, I love it. I decided on elementary school because I feel like if I reach kids early enough I can give them a desire to learn. It's like I can..."
Phaedra pauses, trying to quantify her feelings on the subject. I think I understand, because I felt the same way at one point in my life.
"It's like you can change the world for the better, even if only a little bit at a time?" I speak my hunch.
"Exactly!" she nods, a look of wonder crossing her eyes. "That's it exactly!"
I'm starting to feel like maybe such a thing isn't as impossible as I've believed these last ten, long years. It's as if I'm finally coming out of a long, dark tunnel and seeing the sunlight again for the first time in ages.
We eat in silence for a bit longer, each engulfed in our own thoughts. I already know I've fallen for this woman, but how does she really feel about me? It takes a herculean effort of will on my part not to merely delve into her thoughts and find out for sure. That would be too easy, and if there's one thing I've learned over the years it's thatreallove isn't easy. It can be a struggle, but that only makes it all the more worth it, all the sweeter in the end.
I'm certain Phaedra feels grateful for what I did at Sullivan's, and she probably holds some small affection for me, at the least. There's quite a leap from affection to love, though. I decide to simply take things as they roll and do my best.
"I'm not keeping you from anything, am I?" Phaedra asks.
"Not at all," I shake my head. "I can't think of a single place I'd rather be right now."
"Wow. You really like this diner, don't you?" she jokes.
I chuckle. I know Phaedra knows what I meant, but she's deflecting her own nervousness with humor. The fact that I make her nervous inthatway is a promising sign.
"Well, the coffeeispretty good," I smile. "Nice and strong."
"Speaking of the coffee, I think I need to go visit the ladies' room," Phaedra excuses herself.
I nod and give her a smile as she gets up and sachets to the bathroom. My eyes caress Phaedra's backside with a decidedly intense interest as she goes, the sight of her curvesome bottom giving me a stirring tingle. She turns a bit and looks at me looking at her. The smile on her face broadens as she enters the ladies' room.
I sigh, a buoyant and happy feeling filling me. I haven't felt this good in ages. I finish what little remains of my dinner. The waitress drops off the bill. It looks like Phaedra is more or less finished with her dinner as well, the remnants on her plate not worth bothering to box up for later. I leave a tip on the table before getting up to go pay. Phaedra exits the restroom just as I'm being handed my receipt.
"Oh, are you ready to leave?" she asks as she steps near.
"Eh, I suppose, unless you want to finish that," I reply, pointing to her plate on our table. "Or want some desert."
"Oh no," she shakes her head, patting her belly. "Me fat happy."
I laugh. I've never heard someone put it quite that way.
"Can...can you take me home?" Phaedra asks hesitantly.
I'm a bit disappointed she wants to end our evening so soon, the time only being about 10:30 PM, but I nod. It's understandable after what took place earlier tonight.
"Sure thing."
* * * * * *
Phaedra and I are in front of her multistory, brownstone apartment building. We're both standing there gazing at each other in that comfortable silence again. I didn't want our time together to end. Though I know it's inevitable I can't bring myself to say "goodbye".
"Was this a date?" she asks with a timid smile.
"Yeah, I think it was," I say, giving her a shy smile of my own.
That serene silence falls around us again.
"So?" Phaedra asks, finally breaking it.
"Yes?"
"Stupid boy...aren't you going to kiss me?"
I'm a little surprised at her request, my heart drumming quicker at her words.
"Would you like me to kiss you?" I ask, taking a step forward.
"Yes...please..."
I move even closer, wrap my arms around Phaedra's soft, warm body, and bring her close. She presses herself against me, her arms circling my waist. We gaze into each other's eyes, my own yearning reflected within the vivid sparkling of her cool blues.
The world around me falls away as I lean down and kiss Phaedra for the first time. We close our eyes as our lips press together gently, the silky feel of her sending an electric, tingling essence of Potency trickling into me.
Now I'm certain she is my Anima Uxoris. Only a soul mate can empower a Fravashi's spirit like this with a mere kiss. I know Phaedra will be feeling something totally out of the ordinary right now, too. Her soft, almost imperceptible moan tells me I'm right.
We all have those perfect moments in our lives, a small slice of time we know we'll never forget. Phaedra leans back to gaze up at me, and I smile a silly and happy grin, knowing I just had one. I wonder if she did too.
She speaks.
"Would you..."
Phaedra trails off, leaning her forehead against my chest.
"Would I?" I ask when she doesn't finish her thought.
"I'm afraid," she whispers so softly I'm not sure I heard her correctly.
"What are you afraid of?" I wonder aloud.
Phaedra is silent so long I start to think maybe Ididhear her wrong.
"I'm afraid ofyou," she reveals.
What?I'm a little baffled at her admission, and the way her embrace tightens around me confuses me even further.
"How can I feel this way about someone I just met?" the dark-haired beauty asks.
"I feel it too," I assure. "I felt it the first time I saw you. I felt it again when I saw you walk into Sullivan's. It's real, Phaedra. Our feelings are real."
"Max...? Why did you do it?" she asks, her head still leaning against me.
"Do what?"
"Step in front of that gun."
"How could Inot? I'd die for you."
"Stupid boy," she whispers affectionately, clutching me even tighter.
Phaedra holds me a while longer in lingering silence before releasing her clasp around me and stepping back. She takes my hand.
"I don't want you to go. Come with me? Upstairs?" she requests with the flame of desire lighting her eyes. "Stay with me tonight?"
This is more than I could have hoped for. I nod once, my emerald eyes broadcasting my own need for her. Phaedra, still clinging to my hand with her own, climbs up the the front steps with me in tow. She gets her keys from her purse and lets us inside.
I see the elevator has a very noticeable "out of order" sign taped to it, so I'm not surprised when Phaedra leads us into the stairwell. She's practically running up the stairs, still holding my hand and looking back occasionally with a giant grin pasted to her lovely lips. I can't help but laugh with a soft joy at her eagerness to get me into her apartment.
And then we are there, Phaedra pushing her front door shut with one foot as she steps toward me, grabs my shirt, and pulls me in close. We're kissing again with closed eyes, and I feel like a blind man who's somehow seeing a sunrise for the first time. The pure passion of Phaedra's lips against mine is the blazing glory of this first sunrise, filling me with life.
Kissing and caressing, feeling and touching, we make our way to her bedroom. Most of our clothes end up in a pile on the floor. Then, I'm on my back on Phaedra's bed with her lying atop me, both of us still in our underwear. She's kissing me, our bodies pressed together. She breaks the contact of our lips and pushes herself up ever-so-slightly.
"Max?" she whispers.
"Yes?"
"I need you..."
"I need you too..."
"Max...I need you to show me something beautiful tonight. Can you do that?"
"Yes," I reply breathlessly.
"I need you to prove to me how you feel. Can you do that?"
"Of course," I whisper truthfully.
Our lips meet anew, Phaedra's soft hands against my face with mine roaming her back and hips.
"Undo my bra," she whispers huskily.
My fingers deftly separate the clasps at her back, and she shrugs out of it. Her lips find mine once more. I delight in the way her breasts press against my chest muscles and in the erotic contact of our lower halves.
I can sense a nervousness in her as she rolls from me to lie on her back. She peels her underware downward with a bashful look, and I gaze in rapt desire upon her fully nude loveliness. Phaedra discards the last vestiges of her clothing.
"So sexy," I sigh.
I start to roll away toward the edge of the bed, but Phaedra catches me, stopping me with a hand on the shoulder.
"Where areyougoing?"
"To get a..."
"No," she interrupts, "No condom. I wantyouinside me, not some piece of rubber."
My eyes widen in surprise as I turn back to face her.
"What?" she smiles shyly. "I know you'll never hurt me."
My eyes roam her luscious landscape once more as I quickly remove my white briefs. I drop them behind me off the edge of the mattress. Lying on her side, Phaedra stares at the swell of my excitement. She reaches out with a slow hand to gently caress it's length. Her careful fingers sends a tingling thrill dancing over my skin.
"The skin is so soft, like velvet," she utters quietly.
As I extend my own hand downward, that apprehensive vibe I'm getting from Phaedra returns, but she angles one leg upward to allow my fingers access below. I run my digits cautiously over her entrance, drawing a sigh as she closes her eyes. She's more than excited. I slick my fingers with the succulent juices of her passion before rubbing her womanly nub in slow, gentle circles.
I'm a little surprised at how responsive Phaedra is to this simple touch, how sensitive she seems to be. This was meant to be foreplay, but her hips start shaking lightly. Her hand moves from my shaft to grip my side almost painfully tight. Her breathing intensifies, and I can tell she's quickly climbing that mountaintop.
I can feel the intensity of the Potency generating from her building orgasm. I'm stunned at how powerful it is, like a tsunami getting ready to slam into me. Phaedra clutches at my hand below as she cums. Her eyes squeeze shut tightly, and she utters a squealing, almost hysterical giggle.
My Potency is already near-full from my earlier encounter with Charli, so the flood of it fills me to the brim and beyond. The excess essence bursts in my vision like buckets of different colored paints being splashed randomly about.
A funny, astounding thing happens to Fravashi who are handed more Potency than they can possibly hold, and it's something that only happens when we're with humans. A really good human lover, one you truly care for, will overfill you this strongly and send you to a place beyond. It's the best drug in the world, putting any man made, chemically crafted concoction to shame.
My mind expands as my senses stretch past anything normal. Part of me stays in the here and now, but another part of me feels as if I'm becoming one with the universe. I'm buoyed up on a current of pure, white light, my every nerve lighting with a bliss that's indescribable. I can't believe I put this feeling aside for ten whole years. Though I remember this amazing state of being, it's been so long it's like I'm experiencing it again for the first time.
