All Comments on 'Time Machine'

Having dealt with a close relative with dementia, this story reminded me of some of the issues I had to deal with, along with the coping strategies. You put them into a moving, pointed, and well written story.

A love story with a happy ending, a Loving Wives tale that requires absolutely no willing suspension of disbelief. Five red giants.

Unusual, yes, not really my cup of tea, to be sure, but sensitive, well-written, absorbing, insightful, and instructive. I wound up really enjoying the real-life textured, loving experience of the tale.

LW really is about successful and failed marital relationships, and this opened with a classic scene, and then took us where most of us, thankfully, have never been before, but it did it with such style and sensitivity as to weave a very life-affirming story. Thanks.

This is eye opening and educational, if not heart breaking. Thank you for sharing...

This is an outstanding effort. I want to call it a story but am not sure that name fits. At my age I’ve had many friends suffer from this disease and your info rings true, even if it is on a fiction site.

I don’t see how anyone can justify not giving you a 5 star rating on this one. Thanks for the effort. cd

Yours is a story I never would have chosen to read, had I known its content, yet I am very grateful to you for writing it and for the uneasy feeling it created. Yet, I am very glad I did read it. Imagine, an erotic story that is instructional and not for bed skills! I hope I will never have to experience what Russell did, but thanks again for your sincere and careful writing.

When I read this I really couldn’t believe what I was reading.....we are going through this exact thing with my mother-in-law right now. I took her to Walmart on Wed & she wandered around aimlessly for about 10min, then started flirting with the greeter at the door. I took my eyes off her for a minute & she’s seriously rubbing his bald head. When I tried to steer her away, she started screaming at me, accusing me of stealing a piece of paper off her refrigerator with her cataract surgery info written on it. She had cataract surgery 20yrs ago. We took her off Namenda last Sat because she gets too agitated on it. She tried to hit my 13yr old son in one of her extremely agitated states. I didn’t think anyone “got it” until I read this story....I mean, this story is my life right now.

we are provided with a story that actually serves a good purpose. I learned from this and I thank you for taking the chance and posting it. Kudos to you.

And you're probably correct. If even one person understands and is able to help or get help for a loved one, then it was worth it. That being said - I HATED this story. There's nothing erotic, sexy or entertaining about it. Of course I have lived thru 2 loved ones with dementia so it was crystal clear to me what happens. And I just don't need to be reminded of the pain everyone involved went through. Maybe post this in non-erotic? Maybe another site? But for a story in the contentious loving wives category, this was just awful.

Fantastic read, if you leave out the soapbox grandstanding regarding politics.

A well written but very depressing story.

With women more likely to suffer from dementia, it's sobering to think I might find myself in a similar situation to Russell in the future. I've experienced that memory loss with my grandmother and she had no idea who I was for the last several years. To be forgotten by your wife must be heartbreaking.

Well written. Broke my heart as this is one of my biggest fears as dementia runs in both my family and my wifes. I dont know how I would survive if I found my wife having sex at a nursing home. Strong story, good writing. I would like to have heard more about his emotions after he found her having sex.

Who hasn't been here with some one we love? Thank you for a truly heartfelt story. Never seen it done better or more respectfully. Even readers who are fortunate enough to have avoided this terrible experience should be better able to understand the helpless feeling of being completely at a loss. Nothing can prepare you, but education and understanding can help. Who would believe it, but for the second time in two days I've found something worth keeping in LW! Just_Words story and now this by Skippy. We're lucky to have these two relative newcomers who have such range and ability. Thanks Skippy, again.

Depressing, but a completely worthwhile and educational tale.

Thank you very much.

Bravo for posting this to Literotica. The site as a whole is elevated by the inclusion of stories like “Time Machine”. Educational and profoundly poignant. A real gem. Thank you.

that there's not a state that wouldn't yank the nursing home's license and prosecute the management for facilitating sex between people unable to consent, apparently unprotected yet! No waiver signed by the husband, not matter how explicit, would be effective. I guess the sex was included to shoehorn the story into LW, but it detracts from the story. Still, it was well written and in other respects authentic. Good work!

Coping with people with dementia and lied conditions is very hard.

Your story works very well.

Dealing with a parent with dementia, I can tell you this is exactly what it’s like.

5 stars. Most people dont know anything about this disease . Thanks for putting it out there

A minor point in the overall scope of the story, but how is he not her legal guardian? If not her husband, who is?

Especially if it is irrelevant to the story. Funny though, government is awful, full of fraud. But not when you hide wealth so you appear to meet the poverty level where government assistance kicks in.

. . . maybe I was lucky that my mother died so young, at age 63, because her older sister developed dementia in her 70s. In effect, my aunt died years before her body did.

My wife’s parents died early as well, and we simply haven’t had to deal with this problem. I try to understand it, but really don’t.

Well done, sir.

HDK said. And I think it was important to mention the Medicaid issue. It may be “political” but it is also “economic.” And MERP is a very real part of life ...

My other half has just lost an aunt who had dementia and was in a home for 3 years, 'fortunately' she was not wealthy and lived in council housing (UK state owned houses), so her care was provided for by state.

A friend has just lost her mother, they had the misfortune to own their own house and not the foresight to know she was going to get dementia and need a care home 7 years before she did. They didn't have chance to get the house into someone else's name, so was deemed able to pay for her own care meaning her daughter would have to sell the house, with no regard for the fact that the daughter still lived in the house and had not work as she had been her full time carer for a few years before she was put in a home.

There are ways to protect assest that parents have taken a lifetime to accumulate and many of the generation now being affected had worked all their lives paying the taxes demanded of them in the good faith that they would be looked after in their old age and ill health.

If this story helps one person understand what is happening, how to communicate, where to start looking for help (in the UK Dementia UK dot org is a decent place to start), what is required of the estate, etc etc. then great.

What a powerful story!

Thankfully I haven't had

to deal with dementia on this level.

But this story felt real, strong and sensitive.

And educational too.

So well written, that the reader

might feel being a part of it.

Well done Skippy47!

Truely a great effort.

Top ratings from me.

Because it was interesting but sad at the same time.

I think it should have been in the non-erotic category though.

Granted, yes, she cheated but because of the disease you really can't hold that against her. However, the attitude, policies, and actions of the Nursing Home and Staff are criminal and ripe for severe retribution.

I don't understand how the hubby is not the Legal Guardian of the wife unless there are legal directives stating as such and those would have had to been granted by a Judge and then only if the hubby was deemed harmful to her. At that point her Legal Guardian would most likely be a family member or someone appointed by the Courts.

So if you were faced with that situation by the Nursing Home you were lied to. It wouldn't be the first time something like that has happened. People seem to think whatever a Home or Hospital says is "Law" which is usually far from the truth.

They do it to make their lives easier and as cost cutting measures. They know few people will question it and the ones that do can either take it or leave it and can always just remove their loved one from the facility. For every person that leaves, 2 more are waiting to get in.

My wife and I both have experience in several different Medical Fields so this is why I am familiar with it. We have been "behind the curtain" and some of the ugliness that goes on behind the scenes.

I can tell you that a major catalyst for this is what the author touched on while describing his daughter.......

The LIBERAL approach to things these days.

Hell, it isn't even a Liberal approach anymore, it is the Diseased LEFTIST behavior that has and is trying to take over the normally Liberal entities like our Educational and Medical Fields along with the once great Democratic Party.. I say this as a lifelong and REAL Liberal. Sadly, we are too weak to fight the New Fascist Left off and it is just a matter of time before they engulf and distort Liberalism.

REAL Liberals have more in common with today's New, Non-Neocon Conservatives that are middle of the road like President Trump and his MAGA Supporters than the disgusting Fascist Leftists, aka Globalist.

(If you think Trump and MAGA are the far right you need to turn off the Biased Leftist media like CNN, MSNBC, New York Times, the Washington Compost, Slate and others. As a minority myself I have never felt Racism or Bigotry from MAGA people but I do on nearly every encounter with the Fascist Left and their telling me how I am supposed to think and live my life as a perrenial minority victim.)

I gave you 5* because this is a story that needed to be told.

anonjerry

Who would be her legal guardian if not her husband?

That is a legal designation that you need to file with the court. Even if you are married to someone you are not automatically their legal guardian. Next of kin yes but unless it is something like emergency surgery no. Unless you get it done early you have to have them found non compa mentis to be declared their legal guardian. I lost two grandparents to Alzheimer's

Is there no level that people will sink too.You should be ashamed of yourself.I hope your wife gets dementia and this happens to you

You are addressing an issue that many of us are concerned about. Watching parents dim and leave us is expected. Our romantic interests and, often, the holder of our most intimate thoughts and actions is another dimension altogether. As we all will age and dim, it is so very important that we are mindful of the uncontrollable things that make us different people than we once were.

Too bad, but this is reality...

5 stars for you as a human being. Caregiving is the hardest job both physically and emotionally, especially with a family member. Those who care for the caregivers are a very special people. Your efforts have probably touched more people than know your name. True service. Thank you

With the coming of a new year and the reminder that brings of the passing of time this story seems well timed.

I have been going through this with my mother for a number of years now. The urge to speed up the process is difficult to deal with. It brings feelings of guilt and no small amount of introspection.

I thought you covered the bases very well.

With regard to protecting your assets, this is very important. Private care will suck you dry very quickly, and public facilities are so in demand that even being drained financially is often not sufficient to get a space. To the person who talked about the wealthy hiding their wealth being inappropriate, live this nightmare before commenting.

Exceptionally appropriate is to read the agreement(s) you sign. You may very well be surprised as to what you are agreeing to. Then, go and protect yourself.

I was fortunate enough that when my mother showed early signs of the disease, but was still legally able, we arranged power of attorney for both health and finance. You should consider the same if you even suspect something is amiss.

True nuff....

Just passed on. She suffered from Dementia, and had the usual good and bad days. Some days she knew everyone, others she had no clue. The assisted living center she was in was as close to Peyton Place as it is possible to get, but as far as we knew her Mother was never really bothered by anyone.

During our visits, we saw the signs of quite a bit of things going on we didn't like, so we checked carefully as much as we could. We were preparing to move her to another facility when she passed on, almost a blessing since over $5K an month was going to be nearly 8K.

Dementia is a very real problem that devastates families financially and emotionally.

My mother had dementia and her mother before her. I really felt the store as it was real to me. I forget some things and remember most. My dad died with a heart condition. I'm pulling for his kind of end.....

Thank you for publishing!!

But it is a subject that a lot of us will deal with first-hand some day, so it’s topical. And it was certainly well written. My mother is headed towards the end stage of the damn disease now and every day is an uphill struggle for us. The fact that she’s 91 years old and has other serious health problems doesn’t help either. But we all do what we have to do. I thought there was some pretty good information in this story. Thanks, Skippy.

MIL went through this for many many years. NFW the home would tolerate this

... and she didn’t recognize me; the first time this had happened. I died a little inside that day.

Thank you for the story.

Good information for those of us who may face this situation. Well done.

"According to the record I have in front of me, you are not her legal guardian."

"You're getting agitated Mr. Compton. If what I told you is upsetting you too much, I'll be glad to have the Administrator explain. Of course, you always have the option of putting her somewhere else."

These two statements can not both be true - if he is not her guardian he cannot move her

Mind binder.

I have dealt with this subject matter first hand and can tell you it is one of the more difficult matters for families to deal with. But the whole sex thing in the facility is somewhat hard to believe because most facilities that care for these types of illnesses do not allow that type of behavior or interaction between patients.

Just been my experience.

I am facing this with my wife who is only 60. She is still here and on medication but it is tough. Very frustrating at times. She is well enough to realize what is happening and it kills me to know how bad it hurts her to hurt me. I have always accepted that growing old is not for sissy's, but I never expected anything like this......

Of my GFs is a CNA on a memory ward she sees this every work day. Trust me they burn out too and they are trained for it.

Many homes have been taken to court successfully so the argument is worthless.

But it does happen. Facilities are not as flippant with spouses as this one was though. Also, the husband would absolutely be the guardian. He would have power of attorney.

Didnt do much research on this one.

When you need to read a few lines to realize this story is pure garbage

This story came close to reality for me. My father died from Alzheimer’s at 89. My mother placed him in a Alzheimer’s nursing home. She would visit him everyday since the nursing home was just down the road from her home. About 6 months after my father had been in the nursing home, my mom arrived and found woman patient sitting and handing my father’s hand. My mom asked my father who no longer recognized his wife (my mom) who this woman was and my father stated “This is my girlfriend”. Well my mom pushed this hussy away from father, grabbed my father’s hand and dragged him away, telling him “I AM your wife!”.

In Canada the price of nursing home care is equal to approximately the sum of the two Canada Government pension plans CPP plus OAP which each Canadian receives at 65 so Canadians don’t go broke.

As for cominginsiderher comments equating Liberals as supporting Trump, that is the most absurd comment that I ever heard! Liberals are a slightly left of center party in Canada (I believe that the same us true in most countries). Trump is no where close to center! Liberals would never vote for a person who is a racist, anti-gay et al, anti-abortion or a guy with orange hair!

Brave handling of a sensitive topic. Thank you. It is comforting to know I am not alone in facing these frustrations, heart aches, and sometimes funny situations.

Thanks for airing an important topic

Thank you very much for an important story, written with care and compassion. No disrespect to your wife but better understanding is important, regardless of the forum. To bring that point home, Anonymous from 8 months ago with his "garbage" rant clearly says it all. I am glad for them that they seem to never had to deal with that level of pain, despair, loneliness and loss.

somewhere east of Omaha

Nicely handled. Tough topic. TC Ireland.

This was a tough story. My father had Alzheimer's. I was his caregiver and was at his house the majority of my time. Work suffered, my kids suffered. Thankfully my wife was understanding and was there for me the entire last three years of his life. Dementia/Alzheimer's is a horrible disease especially to those who are closest to the victim.

For several years. She was 14 years older than myself. Like the story, I also suffered two bypasses whole she suffered dementia. The one thing I simply disagree and refused to do was to lie to her. Were there problems with not agreeing? Simply, yes. But I held the belief that if I agreed with her by lying, she would catch it and use it against me. One note: you have to be 5 steps ahead every minute of the day. Planning, replanning, constantly looking at several options. This wears mentally on the caregiver. The things I could say, could fill encyclopedias. And yes, I would had called the police on the facility, and follow it up with the news media. I cared for my wife 24/7 for 8 years. I would had wished the author had written that the police were called. Like the story, my wife sadly passed away too. Grouch6977

5 stars! Thank you Dementia is a part of my family. I appreciate you writing a story we can relate to and possibly educate others about the disease.

I've had to deal with this twice and it takes a toll. You presented it about as well as anyone can. Thank you

Sad story, but a fact of life. Well done 5/5

Thank you for the story. You greatly helped me empathize with those with dimentia. I know have a greater understanding of what my grandfather went through so many years ago.

If you think the message in this story was to be a better caregiver you are sicker than this story!

An insightful story. My sister-in-law has dementia, cause unknown, My brother, on oxygen 24/7, is her caretaker. My family tells me nothing of importance. All I can do is to wish them well. 5*s

A sad but wonderful story of true love. 5*

I don't think the story is controversial - it's how life works. The problem is I just don't want to read about it in the LW section of a porn site. It's just not an appropriate place.

I really liked it. Oddly, one of your best. Thank you...! And, lol, it not only HAD an ending but you fleshed out the ending. Take note!

Great explanation of a terrible disease. Wish I had learned some of this earlier in my life.

OMG. While a heart breaking story, it is none the less near briliant.

Heart wrenching description of a horrible disease; loved the compassionate lesson on dealing with patients loss of time continium.

One of the 20 best works I've read in this section of LE and I've read most of them.

Thank for sharing this.

While heartbreaking this could be a true story. My mother and MIL both suffered from dementia at the end of their lives.. The descriptions here are true. Very difficult to address the issues raised. As a society we have done a very poor job dealing with the this. Great story, 5 stars.

"It also says that the person is free to choose companionship within the facility as long as it is of their own free will and is acceptable to the other patient."

====> ummm bullshit. That is not how many dementia care clinics operates. Dementia is hideous. My mother has it at 76. It is horrific. I never expected all the paranoia and personality issues. The care facilities do not cavaliers allow sexual liaisons between patients. Umm no. They cannot give consent. It us the law once diagnosed. It would be treated as elder abuse. No waiver will indemnify the clinic. At least that is how it works on the US. In fact ther have been precedents where care facilities screwed up and dementia patients did have sex, and the facilities get hit in civil court.

Sad.

My one big question is how was Russell not her legal guardian?

Thought provoking.

I used to think cancer was the cruelest disease after watching my father die off it, but then I saw my father in law's disintegration with dementia.

the meds they give them to slow the disease are not for you they are money makers for the care takers. prolong the agony of the spouse or kids and bleed them dry.

5 Stars on a great story .

Pretty sure that with the wife’s diminished mental capacity, she is unable to consent to sex. He absolutely can go to the police and report that his wife is being raped. The prosecutor would crucify the staff that allowed it to happen.

My wife was an RN on an Alzheimer’s unit for years and the patients did occasionally get their groove on. Caught me off-guard completely when she told me. She explained that they are still considered independent adults and were not to interfere unless it was non-consensual.

Thank you! I really appreciate this nuanced story with real advice

Are you sure it would be like this? As a commenter said below how can someone with diminished mental capacity give consent?

Borning

Both my parents had dementia. Mom was in a nursing home. Much of your story I have seen first hand. My father did have a heart attack caring for my mother before I put her in a home just like the story. This story is the most factual story I have ever read on this erotic story site. Thank you for writing it. I hope it brings some peace to people who need to read it..

Dementia is really a terrifying ailment. Slowly losing your mind as you regress mentally and not even really realize it. *shudder*

More than worth it.

Good story about a horriable disease. Thanks