All Comments on 'Titans Ch. 03'

JC

So glad to see this! I was concerned you'd abandoned it, and now I'm sad it will be a monthly release. The story has a great start, and I'm very eager to see where it goes!

Has it been established yet if he is still ahh...fertil?

Glad you still writting, as usual like the story progression although if it is a story a month could you try make it longer, but we can talk about that as it comes,i felt there was a tad to mich sex in this one , but maybe i just prefer the story build haha

Good chapter but hellishly, annoyingly short. Also I don't see everything falling apart, just more trouble to deal with piled on top of existing trouble.

You just keep writing them as they come to you - we'll take 'em any way we can get 'em! I'm enjoying your writing immensely and look forward to seeing this series go on for a good long while.

I'm eagerly awaiting your next installment on or near the winter solstice.

Cheers!

but 1 thing bothers me... 50 lashes with ANY type of whip, unless the bearer was very good and was feeling lenient, would kill most people and even if it didnt kill them they wouldnt be able to move for DAYS maybe weeks much less be in shape for sex... so while it makes for a good masochism reveal 50 lashes is a bit much... maybe 20?

... that said, there is one thing I feel the need to ask about. Well there's the thing with the lashes already commented on, but that, while true, in my opinion at least is pretty minor.

What is worth mentioning though is the fact that you have this cream-of-the-crop-soldier with his mech in a low-tech environment who can take on a squad of giants but just cowers before some asshole general and his staff (who yet have to show any form of competence).

Why on whatever-planet-he-is-on would he do that?

I am sure you have it thought out in your plot line and there it makes total sense but as a reader it just doesn't feel conclusive for me. Yeah, he (by now) wants to protect his charges and Elizabeth, but in his position he could just force everyone else to meet his demands (and not only by flattening everything around him with his mech, although there were a couple moments where that would have been a pretty satisfying outcome).

Maybe it really does absolutely make sense and I am just thinking it out wrong, but while reading I felt you could have explained that part better.

Apart from that though, I'd like to thank you for sharing this story with us, and keep up the great work!

Lashes! With the power Alex has why would he have allowed that to happen to anyone he cares for? Otherwise it's been a great story.

I read the comments here, as well as your introduction to the next chapter. I wouldn't worry too much about the 50 lashes possibly killing her. Most people are assuming they used a whip on her, akin to a modern bullwhip. There's nothing in the story that says this is or is not the case. When me and my brothers were children, my father used to whip us with a leather barber's strop. He could easily get in 10-20 lashes without even breaking skin. Certainly in this case, military disciplinarians wouldn't employ a type of weapon that was meant to kill or maim. A bullwhip could literally flay the skin off your back, so I don't see that weapon being employed here.

Google "flogging weapons" and I'm sure you'll find images of less-than-lethal weapons, such as this one:

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/20775313/images/1348005752885.jpg

I know this sounds really silly but this chapter was annoying enough for me to drop the story completely. Can't just accept that he did nothing when he had the power to stop that completely unwarranted lashing.

I can't even understand why he is staying and helping them, they are truly horrible people.

Many of the reactions of your characters don't make sense. As a result, while elements are good, the overall effect is damaged. No one seems to be surprised by or interested in a 30' metal giant that can win and end an endless war, including the general. The empress is smart and sharp, but seems to be support a fat, incompetent general who does nothing. Alex does not seem to think that preventing Elizabeth from getting 50 lashes is worth taking 30 seconds to walking back to the Empress and asking her to stop it. The Captain is supposedly genetically engineered to be a superior warrior, but suffers from fits of anger that one might attribute to emotionally undisciplined 7-year old. Not a veteran with over 50 years of front-line battle experience... And I could go on. It would be interesting to see it rewritten with the characters acting more like adults in a real army than spoiled children and a bad birthday party.

But i do feel it's a bit uncharacteristic of the mc to sit back and let his girl take a beating when he could just as easily threaten to tear up the whole base or leave since he is under no obligation to help them fight their war. The only reason I can see this being some what acceptable is if you're trying to give justification and impart a sense of warped pleasure to the readers when the military leader suffers some sort of tragic death later, still either way it still makes the character feel a bit off....

That was BS, especially combined with him meeting with this 'Empress'. Lost all empathy for the mc.

I agree with Totchaa. I gave your previous chapters 5 stars and gave you a chance to redeem it in chapter 4 but you didn't even address how out of character it seemed for Alex and also Elizabeth to go along with this without any kind of fight or arguement. They didn't try to give their side of it at all. I also have to agree with bad_side that a Captain with 50+ years of experience wouldn't handle a drunken private waking him up in the middle of the night trying to rape his woman (or his squire as you've called her) like this. Alex really didn't seem like the kind of person who would have done any of this but if he is, then he's a piece of trash protagonist who I have lost all interest in. Then there is the scene with the Empress, which was ridiculous. How could he seem so completely uninterested in her being there and ruling these terrible people? Also if she is so dangerous and a criminal to the government he works for, why would he decide to serve in her army?

I know I'm late to comment on this but I started reading from the beginning after you recently posted your latest chapter. This is a great idea and you were doing a great job with your writing but other than the sex scenes, this whole chapter is garbage. It completely pollutes everything after it.

That being said, you definitely shouldn't give up writing but you need to seriously rethink your characters' motivations and development and how that would affect their actions. I probably won't read anymore of this series unless you rewrite this or at least address it. Also you shouldn't rely on spell check or grammar check to fix all your mistakes. You might want to reread what you've written a couple of times to catch the words that are spelled correctly but are in fact wrong. Like using he instead of she. There are a lot of people on here offering editing help.

Franky, I had a problem the first time he saluted the Major. He may respect her rank, but why would he salute a foreign officer? And when he gets to the army camp and just rolls over to show his belly...

Why this farce of submitting himself to the first military organization he runs into? My suspension of disbelief falls apart completely with allowing his friend to flogged while still pretending that these people hold any authority over him.